Postless

Did not post because I was busy, then felt blah and then too tired. Thinking about the logistics of the summer and then the fall made me dizzy and I am ultimately alone. F can support me in spirit, help pay for it etc but I realized (again) the broader unfair dynamic of modern life. I, as a mother, have to balance way too many things and do everything half assed. This is how I felt yesterday at least. Today I am more optimistic. I always do a lot, more, then more and maybe doing it all is too frenetic. But I do not know how to be different than that, and if I did not work, walk, volunteer, I do not think I would be a better mother. I would be irritated. How to find the balance? Hmm. Today is a new day. Saturday. All I have to do is a loop of the park, go pick up M from her sleepover, then tutor and then go to a friend's house with all of the kids in NJ for dinner. You see? Hard to be idle.