Da Boyz

F on his bath- Doesn't it smell lovely?

V on F acting crazy on his bday- I think he has a birthday fever.

F on V touching his toys: He ruined my Paw Patrol paradise!

F upon opening a gift: What in the heaven is this?

V when I asked him why he cried when he got his ear pierced if it didn't hurt: It was emotional pain.

FFFFFFFF

F to V: What does that even mean, you rascal!

F looking at his steak, unwilling to eat it: But somebody killed this animal!

F fighting with A: I have already been a baby! I am going to be older than you. After all the letters, I will be 100!

F to me: Can you please text Buster (dog) and tell him to come?
Me: Dogs don't text.
F: (tía) C can read it to him. Tell them to come. Coronavirus is not that bad, they won't die.

F (unknowingly) calls Nacho Libre: Macho Horrible.

F's Rant to A

You finished the waffles? That is not how it goes in this family. You CANNOT finish all of the waffles. This is my house. You cannot finish all the waffles in somebody else's house. You are not the boss of my house! This is my house and I share it with you.

After screaming variations of this for a full two minutes, F started to cry. Corona quarantine got a brother down.

F the Wise

Me to J: What is wrong?
F: He is sad, he wants to be free again.

Birthday Cake Wish

F on his upcoming bday cake:
For my toppings, I want butter and cream cheese and dulce de leche and peanut butter, frosting, and whipped cream and Nutella. For the fruit toppings, I want strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries if you can get them.

Almost 4 year old Depression Sets in

F this am: Am I going to school today?
Me: No.
F: But is it a school day?
Me: Yes. But there is no school.
F: What even IS corona virus?

later..
F: J, get out of my room, I am not in the mood!
(J does)
F slams door.

This isolation thing is rough, even if you are only barely 4. 

F on NYC

So, NYC is the like the house of corona virus?

Yes F, it sadly is. It breaks my heart to see two of my favorite places on earth, Italy and NYC on their knees with people dying. When will it be over? How will we recover and what will that look like? I am sad and frustrated to be sitting on my ever-expanding ass in Newton, MA unable to be a nurse or an anything that can help during this crisis. FUCK YOU corona virus.

The Sass

Me- Get dressed, I know you can do it. You do it alone in school.
F: Do I look like I am in school? In school, I have that power, not in school, I do not have that power.

Deep Thoughts by (mini) F

Quiz with F:
Me: Who is older, me or papi?
F: You are 60, he is 100.
Me: Who is taller?
F: You are the same
Me: Who is wiser, me or papi?
F: L!

F to V: You know what is so sad? When I be a grown up I won't be able to sleep with you because I am going to be having grown up time with mami and papi.

F and A

F refers to his siblings as "the kids" or "the siblings"- I love it!

A explained diabetes to me the other day. Wtf? She said there were two kinds, type I, you are born with and type II you got from eating badly. Then she told me it affects your pancreas, where insulin is made.- Maybe I should have her study for me and tutor me?

Some Lines for Your Corona Entertainment

F to L: Look at your hands, you are not viejita. You are almost viejita.

V to F: Does it hurt to go bald?

Me to M: Go outside to get some air.
M to Me: It is gross outside.
V to M: You are gross inside.

F to L: If you die, can I have your I-pad? And the password too?

Amazing!

We are all stuck. Most of us are much more fortunate than the rest of the world. I am not sure how to manage the non-stop flurry of raids on the kitchen and the whack a mole action with technology. Exhausting. In my efforts to get them to be quiet (I still have a full workload from BC) and productive (since there is no end in sight and their brains may melt), I hid a school issued laptop in the oven. Why the oven you might ask. I do not use it much and F had already warned me that he had two bowls in there with bread rising in them. He warned me to remember they were in there. It seemed like a two for one. Cut to many hours later when I preheated the oven. 400 degrees Fahrenheit to heat up fish sticks and broccoli. Did I ever remember what was in there? Well, when the oven beeped alerting me to the desired temperature, I opened it to put dinner in. That is when I realized that I am not as smart as I thought. I baked that puppy to a crisp. All in all, it did not explode so I am grateful for that. The computer actually turns on, but F says we cannot use it because its integrity has been compromised. He did make a video of him turning it on post bake and tweeted it to Lenovo- the company liked it. I guess I did some free research for them? Now we know that it withstands high temperatures and that you should never ever hide something in the oven.

When i.t seems like it could be the worst weekend ever..

But then it somehow all works out. Sure you get a bunch of f()&()*&g annoying pieces of news via email and others ignore your important emails about topics as disparate as failing math, having to move and other small details but.. despite a bitch ass long week with no school (kids) and so much school (me) and no partner (in Mexico) you make it through thanks to L, the rock in the family. Steadfast and efficient, calm and kind, she took the kids to playdates, skating, Wegman's.. kept them fed, pianoed and alive. Now it's Saturday and L is gone and you have an exam at 8am on Mon and another one one Wed. Two care plans have been cranked out bt Thurs and Fri to focus on said exams. You contemplate driving to CT to a squash tournament to hang with tío G and get some "free" childcare. But it's too much driving and I do not have $180 to blow on a hotel. After all of this though.... it all comes together. You get 6.5 hours of studying done (yes I time everything) and the kids behave. You take them to the library, the YMCA (quizlet on treadmill helps get in the study time), Trader Joe's and after they eat lunch and do their piano you take them to ice cream, the park, and then your friend takes them to dinner and you sigh. Sometimes it all works out. I am 1 hour in to today's studying and hoping for the stars to align today as well because exam I is imminent and I have not looked at a word for exam II. F and M get back tonight from Mexico. Tomorrow will start w 8 am exam (another 4:45 wake up) and end at 11pm at the hospital. I would sleep in but I have to cram for Wed exam. I would sleep in the next day but I have to be at the hospital at 6:15am. After 2:30pm Thursday, I take a deep deep breath. Sunday we leave for PR and I consider sleeping, not eating shit (nursing school does wonders to my aging, fattening body) and enjoying my partner while taking a break from my kids. Life is good.

F Oh F

Can I skip bath?
Me- No. You are going to smell.
It's okay, I won't smell myself!

Why do you always work?

I love cheese because I am made of cheese

F talking to me about a girl I tried to reason with who is in his class: You are older than her, ignore her. 

Some F-isms

Esterday= yesterday

Green Planter= Green Lantern

Are we regular people? Can we turn into astronauts? Can we dress up as astronauts?

V, when I asked him to explain what "christeous" (Christian) was since he insisted on wearing a chain with a cross: You believe in Jesus, you go to church, you celebrate Hannukah.

F to abuelo in the bath: The H is for hot and the C is for cold and the 2 is for warm
Abuelo: Where is the 2?
F: It is imaginary.

That's the politely way!

F just told me "May I please have an ice cream?" is the politely way to ask.

V told M to bring her teacher an apple to suck up to him. F said: Bring a potato!

Where to Begin?

My (one and only) fan has been asking me to post. Not sure what to write about. So much has happened. I discovered that no matter where I live, I will always be crazy busy and overextended. I guess being anal and having five kids doesn´t change -- even when you move to MA. So I will never be a fan of this state, but it does have some redeeming features, mostly my wonderful friends/neighbors (two, and they are married) and the library- best place ever. BC has been a whirlwind- amazingly ludicrous volumes of work and a pace that required me to rise and shine at 4:45 am most days to stay abreast of the action. I am happy to report that I ended the semester well and I have about one week left before I reenter the world of nursing. Day one is my first clinical day in my maternity clinical. This semester is women´s health and pediatrics followed by psychiatry. It will be another crazy semester that ends in May but is quickly followed by two summer sessions sprinkled with the NCLEX licensing exam in between. Hard to believe I will be an RN (assuming I do not break BCś perfect pass rate) before the summer ends- sort of terrifying. Enough about BC.
The five maniacs are all well and sassy. I cannot imagine if any of these kids listened to anything that I said- they are indefatigable. I should have given them all relentless as their middle names. M has joined a running group, J is in the snowboarding club, A is starting an art class, A and V are starting track tomorrow, and F loves school!
Hard to have a complete thought around here- more later. Maybe?
Happy 2020!

Oh F!

F going into his room: I smell Ipad!

F on his friend: He called me a crybaby. So I grabbed his shirt (gestures grabbing it under the neck) and I asked him "Who's a cry baby now?"

F arguing with V about who had to go to school first: My school is more important, I have important activities!

Why are we here?

that is what F just asked me. He is almost exactly 3.5 years old, which means he has lived here for a third of his life (and I doubt he remembers the first year of his life...).
I thought he might be talking about NY but I waited and he elaborated...
Why can't we go back to NY? I don't want to live here. I want to go back to my old house. I like that kitchen.

I mostly agree with him (though not the kitchen part).

Some memories hold on. You can take the kid out of NY but...

End of September Chatter

V- There is a lot more kind people in NYC than in this community.

F- I don't want to be six.
V- You are going to be four first.
F- I don't want to grow up and I don't want you to get viejita.

L to F- Hay que hacer silencio.
F- I don't know how to do that.

F to L- Can you move your house closer to mine? Can you ask (your husband) to move it to Boston?

F- Mamá, I like you a lot.

F- By the way, I am a little guy.

F to A- Answer me A, I know you talk a lot.

Me- Te lavas los dientes en la escuela?
F- I told you four times, only on Sundays.

F when he saw me in scrubs at 6am- Where are you going?
Me- Hospital.
F- Are you going to lay down there?