F's Scientific Insights

 Do you know where pee comes from? Your brain!

What do germs look like? Do they have horns?

When I got in the car and it was stinky: Did you fart?

F: Yes.

Me: That is powerful.

F: I am powerful so that is how I make my farts. Weak people make them weak. Lazy people make lazy farts.

This AM

 J to F- I wish I were small like you.

F- No, you don't. It is horrible being short. I cannot even reach things up high that people hide, Trust me, you do not want to be short!

F- I would not go to the action figure bin. They all fart in there, it smells horrible!

 F was showing A a toy he wants for Xmas from an old book. A said: That toy doesn't exist anymore, you cannot get it.

F: Yes I can. I already ordered it from Santa.

In his sleep..

 All of my kids speak and yell in their sleep. Last night F came to my bed and would NOT stop talking.

Among his comments:

I want cheese!

Down, T, down!

Farts do not kill you, they just smell.

No way Buddy

 F to T (dog) as he played with a sword that all the boys fight over: You are not going to break that on my watch. Oh no, buddy.

J to F: I am ruthless!

F to J: Yes, you are useless!

 J on the dog: He does not listen to me like he listens to papi.

M: Maybe he would if you wore pants!

F on Mortality

I do not want to grow up because I do not want to die.

F F F F F

Me: You ate sardines?
F: Yes! It is fish. Do you like fish? It is the best kind of chicken,

F: Can you clean up this ant?
Me: Oh, it is in pieces.
F: Not pieces, I popped his eyeballs out so he could not see what I was doing to him.

F: Is Costco Chinese?
Me: No, it's American.
F: I am not American, I am Asian.
Me: You are?
F: We are all Asian in this family.

In HIs Dreams

All of my kids speak A LOT both while awake and asleep. I just heard F say:
No! If you do I will kick you in the teeth and then you will have no more teeth!

what.a.thug.

This week

F asked me how long I would be away at hospice and I said 12 hours. He asked how long he went to preschool and I told him he did about seven hours. He said: I have done a twelver!

F when he saw my belly: Mamá, your belly is the biggest. Everyone will look at it and ask "Did she swallow a rock?"

F when he got up: Fun starts with philosophy! (the letter F he means)

Some Llines

F- Can I have some seltzer (he's addicted)? I feel like my brain is toasting.

V to F (sr): Do you want to be reincarnated as a bear?

F on his action figures: They just woke up but they are not in the mood to save the day. They are not available so they went back to bed.

Me to F: You are my favorite 4-year-old in the world.
F: Do you mean the planet?
Me: What is this planet called?
F: South America!

L-E-G

F- Can I have some L-E-G?
Me- What't that?
F (annoyed)- What do you mean? Gum!

F came to me and (using my own technique) said: Choose mamá. Give me gum or TV
I replied that he should ask nicely and not be so bossy so he tried again: Please choose, gum or tv.
Me: Gum
F: Ok, gum now, and then TV.

It reminded me of "but first, a little mongo."

Can't Remember If I posted this...

F on V's flatulence in the car: I am not fine with these farts!

More F musings

I want L to come back. And I want my birthday present from her. This is not how it works for birthdays.

As he gave me a rock: Mamá, keep this. It will give you medical strength and medical power!

My birthday was amazing. It actually was. I got everything I wanted.

F and Da Words

F- I would be good at that, I want a violin so I can play "Old McDonald"
F Sr- Are you going to play the piano too?
F-Um, I don't have a tie.

F and flowery language:
I certainly woke J up!
Papi, you smell good. What shampoo did you put on you?
Papi says we can go outside because it is a wonderful day!
That is absolutely mine.
There is no need.
This animal is not stable because the frenchman ???

Da Boyz

F on his bath- Doesn't it smell lovely?

V on F acting crazy on his bday- I think he has a birthday fever.

F on V touching his toys: He ruined my Paw Patrol paradise!

F upon opening a gift: What in the heaven is this?

V when I asked him why he cried when he got his ear pierced if it didn't hurt: It was emotional pain.

FFFFFFFF

F to V: What does that even mean, you rascal!

F looking at his steak, unwilling to eat it: But somebody killed this animal!

F fighting with A: I have already been a baby! I am going to be older than you. After all the letters, I will be 100!

F to me: Can you please text Buster (dog) and tell him to come?
Me: Dogs don't text.
F: (tía) C can read it to him. Tell them to come. Coronavirus is not that bad, they won't die.

F (unknowingly) calls Nacho Libre: Macho Horrible.

F's Rant to A

You finished the waffles? That is not how it goes in this family. You CANNOT finish all of the waffles. This is my house. You cannot finish all the waffles in somebody else's house. You are not the boss of my house! This is my house and I share it with you.

After screaming variations of this for a full two minutes, F started to cry. Corona quarantine got a brother down.

F the Wise

Me to J: What is wrong?
F: He is sad, he wants to be free again.

Birthday Cake Wish

F on his upcoming bday cake:
For my toppings, I want butter and cream cheese and dulce de leche and peanut butter, frosting, and whipped cream and Nutella. For the fruit toppings, I want strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries if you can get them.

Almost 4 year old Depression Sets in

F this am: Am I going to school today?
Me: No.
F: But is it a school day?
Me: Yes. But there is no school.
F: What even IS corona virus?

later..
F: J, get out of my room, I am not in the mood!
(J does)
F slams door.

This isolation thing is rough, even if you are only barely 4.