Oh F!

F going into his room: I smell Ipad!

F on his friend: He called me a crybaby. So I grabbed his shirt (gestures grabbing it under the neck) and I asked him "Who's a cry baby now?"

F arguing with V about who had to go to school first: My school is more important, I have important activities!

Why are we here?

that is what F just asked me. He is almost exactly 3.5 years old, which means he has lived here for a third of his life (and I doubt he remembers the first year of his life...).
I thought he might be talking about NY but I waited and he elaborated...
Why can't we go back to NY? I don't want to live here. I want to go back to my old house. I like that kitchen.

I mostly agree with him (though not the kitchen part).

Some memories hold on. You can take the kid out of NY but...

End of September Chatter

V- There is a lot more kind people in NYC than in this community.

F- I don't want to be six.
V- You are going to be four first.
F- I don't want to grow up and I don't want you to get viejita.

L to F- Hay que hacer silencio.
F- I don't know how to do that.

F to L- Can you move your house closer to mine? Can you ask (your husband) to move it to Boston?

F- Mamá, I like you a lot.

F- By the way, I am a little guy.

F to A- Answer me A, I know you talk a lot.

Me- Te lavas los dientes en la escuela?
F- I told you four times, only on Sundays.

F when he saw me in scrubs at 6am- Where are you going?
Me- Hospital.
F- Are you going to lay down there?

Formaggio!

Can you put this (cracker) on cheese?

Can I have some cheese for dessert?
No.
Not a daddy cheese, like a baby piece.

Don't talk to me, I'm in a bad mood.

The Butter Mystery

F sat perplexed about why he couldn't see the butter on his toast.
I tried to explain melting to him.
F- How could the butter disappear if it doesn't even have legs?

Some Lines

?? Did we move here for papi's job for more money or for efficiency?

F- I love you the best in all the single world in the deal.

F- I made an Africa for the Africa animal.

F- V and I are boys. Sometimes we behave and sometimes we don't. That's they way it is

F- You are awesome and cute.

Me- Most people don't say I'm cute.

F- They say you are dumb.

A looking at a picture of her father: That what he looked like with hair? 

Me- Yes, I think he looks better bald.

A- Not really. If he wanted to could he make it grow back?

V when I told her my classmate was coming over with her baby- Is the baby in her stomach or in a stroller?

F to ?: Hurry up lady!

F when I told him we were going to preschool: Again? I already did that.

The third time we went- Again? Back and forth. Back and forth to preschool.

It's the Night Before...

many new beginnings.
M is off to high school! She is excited and ready.
J is a 7th grader, less enthusiasm, but also ready.
A and V begin third grade tomorrow! I remember when M went into third grade I thought she was so old.
F is home with his beloved L tomorrow and will take kids to their first day of school.
I will sadly miss their first day as I have my first day out in the world in scrubs. Yikes! This week and next, I will be working at a nursing home in the dementia unit. I am super excited and also petrified. Not sure I have any skills to share, but I do like the elderly.
This week will be more like a regular week (though week 3 the hospital rotation begins and it is 6:45-3pm) and I hope to be able to get into the swing of these classes and clinicals while managing the five monkeys!

F on My Belly

F loves to tell me how fat and squishy I am. I try not to take it personally. Ha! Today as I got dressed he told me how big my belly I was and I asked him if he knew why. I reminded him that he used to be in there.

F- How did you put me in?
Me- With papi.
F- Did he dig a hole?
Me- No.
F- What did he use? A battery? Tools?
Me- Love.

No further questions thankfully.

F the Potty Mouth Hooligan

F- Where are my fucking pants?
Me- What?
F- Where are my fucking pants?
Me- No se dice eso. Where did you learn that?
F- From my school.
Me- You don't go to school.
F- It's my own school.

F- That was a horrible beast!
Me- What?
F- I burped!

Musings

V- Kids always want to grow up but adults do not want to grow old.

A to F: You have a double chin
F: I really have two. One and two.

J- A boomerang is a frisbee with no friends.

V on A and camp- In the beginning, you were as shy as a rock.

F to V: You smell so bad, brush your teeth!

V- Would you like to be quiet or have me throw up all over you in parts you did not even know you had?

F: Wait a minute, I have an idea. When I am a dad and you are a grandma you can sit in the passenger seat.

July Lines

A- Let's pretend we are criminal masterminds and we just came back from the bank heist!

V- Mamá, what were your glory days?

Me to F: Sí mi capitán.
F: I am not a captain. I do not have a boat.

V- Is there a job with just reading and eating and drawing

I think the job for me is comedian, but I want to be a scientist.

F- I love this day. It's a little portar bien and a little portar mal.

V- You are not old, you are wonderful.

F- And squishy.

F- Can I say little suckers? 

Me- No.

F- Is it a bad word? Can I say big suckers? 

Me- No.

F- But I love it, I say it all the time.

F- I don't want a shirt so I can look at my muscles!

some lines...

F, on subway- It smells so bad! Maybe a pig pooped here?

F, when I asked him why he did not take an action figure of his uncle's from his abuela's house: I did not take the toy because tío (D) will be back when he is little and will want it.

V at the beach- So far,  I'm not having fun.

? to F- Can you share your pasta with J (cousin)?

F- He can have zucchini.

 V on a parental decision- The words have been spoken!. 

V & F

F- I have something sad. If someone has no dad and no mom.

V- Unlock the door!
F- Okay, Jeezus.
V- You do not lock the door.
F- Yes, I do, I am pooping.

V- Will I grow over the summer?
Me- Yes.
V- Will my hair grow?
M- What hair?
V- On my body.
M- You will not go through puberty this summer.
V- Oh.

F after he smelled a fart- It is like V's mouth in the morning. Smells like garbage.

This week's lines...

Me- Are you two best friends?
V to F- I now announce you two best friends. You may kiss your best friend.

On our way to Russian Math, V- (tía) A helped me with my homework so if it's wrong, it's her fault.
A- It's not going to be wrong because she is a genius.
V- Oh yeah, she goes to Harvard.
A- Duh!

Me to F- ¿Te gusta Ben?
F- I love A the best!

V, after putting on "Old Town Road"- This gives me math energy!

Oh F

F- Can you dip cheese in pesto?

F to his friend when he wanted to drive at the zoo- That's ok. You can drive. I will be the mom.

F, tired on the hill to our house- Now I am out of batteries.

F on a bee- It's really not awesome.

F to me- Why is your belly so fat?

F after I explained to him where I and F were from- What is my flag?
Me- Estados Unidos. United States.
F- No! New York!

F- Let's see if they have cheesy ice cream!

These Kids

A- If there is a speed limit in biking, I definitely just broke the law!

V when I asked him about not sleeping with F (they spoon every night)- I have to get used to sleeping alone for when I go to college.


F when I asked him the same question twice- Stop asking or you are going to lose your job!

Morning Truth

V- If you think about it, F gets 75% of the attention in this family.

F the Misogynist Hooligan

F-Can we go home?
Me- We are home.
F-No, I mean New York.

When F got out of the car, F- Why are you going to drive?
Me- Because I am the only adult here.
F-Moms don't drive.
Me- Yes they do. I drive you everywhere.
F-You are a silly woman.

When he went to drink water that had been in the car since yesterday, Me-That is hot. Do not drink it.
F- It is not hot, you crazy woman.

Hooligan #5

Me celebrating no pee in the pull up: No hay pis!
F: There's a little bit of fartss!

F as he tripped: Aw, shit!
Me: ¿Qué dijiste?
F: I said "shate."

F: Why you always call papi puchie and he call you tesoro?

End of an Era

F to me: If you give me tv, I will give you a lollipop. If you don't, you don't get one.


F also told me he was my boss today. Ha!

This crib, that I did not even buy, sitting on the sidewalk in Newton, made me oh so sad. This little man is 3 years old now. He clearly does not need this crib. We all agree. It was a great one our neighbors lent us. Then they opted to not have any more kids so we brought it with us to MA. It is a classic drop-down side one, ie illegal to gift, sell, or donate- hence its sad demise on the sidewalk. My factory is officially closed. While we knew this before, this confirms it. I could not possibly have another child for many reasons, but if I were a little younger, richer, and had a nursing degree... I would. Once a looney, always a looney.