Thankful

 This year we each wrote what we were thankful for about each other on a piece of paper. Each family member got a piece of paper with 6 notes on it from the rest of the family.

What V wrote about A made me cry: She is the fun and joy of my life!

F on the toilet this am..

 Do I have another interview?

F had a zoom interview and assessment this week (totally normal for a 4 year old?!?). He was asked numbers, letters, shapes, and to talk about things that interested him. On the subject of bears of shared that he had seen one. The interviewer asked "Where can you see a bear?" F told her a long story about the time our family saw a grizzly bear while we were hiking and how we sprayed it with bear spray. He then added for good measure, that he has also seen a polar bear. 

interviewer- How did you see a polar bear?

F- When I went to the north pole.

interviewer- with you whole family?

F- No, just me and my dad.

interviewer- when was that?

F- 25 years ago!

F Learning

 F made this hand gesture to show me how close he is to knowing everything!

He is worried about all of the math he does not know "I don't even know 90 +44"

F on today's election

 I will just drive there and beat up Donald Trump!

F's Scientific Insights

 Do you know where pee comes from? Your brain!

What do germs look like? Do they have horns?

When I got in the car and it was stinky: Did you fart?

F: Yes.

Me: That is powerful.

F: I am powerful so that is how I make my farts. Weak people make them weak. Lazy people make lazy farts.

This AM

 J to F- I wish I were small like you.

F- No, you don't. It is horrible being short. I cannot even reach things up high that people hide, Trust me, you do not want to be short!

F- I would not go to the action figure bin. They all fart in there, it smells horrible!

 F was showing A a toy he wants for Xmas from an old book. A said: That toy doesn't exist anymore, you cannot get it.

F: Yes I can. I already ordered it from Santa.

Discussing last night's sleeping arrangments...

F to J: I slept alone because he (V) betrayed me!

Why didn't you sleep w A?

I have. In my life, I have slept with her but last night V betrayed me!

Trump is alive?

 F, watching the news, perplexed: Trump is alive? Really? This whole time I thought he was dead.

F today

 F, showing me a pose: It is not that impressive.

Wearing a mask is disgusting because you have to smell your own breath!

When I was in your belly I could hear Obama being president.

When I was a baby, there was a thornbush, and I didn't have my bday yet. Papi told me not to touch it, and I did and I got a thorn stuck in my hand. Along came a hornet and took it out with its stinger.

F Playing with Action Figures

 He is being brainwashed! L, do not look, this part is inappropriate for you!

All I want is a ZOOM

 F just said.

First day of online school for his four siblings. Lots of feelings.

All I want is no more fucking zoom.

I had 9 hours of class yesterday, 6 on zoom. During the 45th interruption, I began discussing piano practice versus going for a run with M. A few minutes in I heard my ethics professor say "Violeta, I think your mic is on." Mortifying.

The whole day is getting kids on zoom, snacks, food, garbage, try to read for class. Exercise? Try to talk to F, plan. Assignments due. Mine. Theirs. Paperwork for clinical. Freaking out about if I have corona. Fielding emails from elderly family members who think I am a doctor.

Breathe. We have food. And a house. And internet. This sucks but we are fortunate.

I am a nurse. Finally. I cannot believe it. I want to cry. For good and bad reasons.

Back to the grind!!

In his sleep..

 All of my kids speak and yell in their sleep. Last night F came to my bed and would NOT stop talking.

Among his comments:

I want cheese!

Down, T, down!

Farts do not kill you, they just smell.

No way Buddy

 F to T (dog) as he played with a sword that all the boys fight over: You are not going to break that on my watch. Oh no, buddy.

J to F: I am ruthless!

F to J: Yes, you are useless!

This Am

 V on M watering someone's plants: That sounds like a waste of money and time, and we don't have much of either.

A when I told her she would be continuing Russian math: Why don't you just stab me while you are at it?

 J on the dog: He does not listen to me like he listens to papi.

M: Maybe he would if you wore pants!

F on Mortality

I do not want to grow up because I do not want to die.

F on T (dog)

to F (father): Where did you get the dog shampoo? He smells like heaven!

to T (dog): What kind of puppy do you want to be? A chewer?

to F about T: He is such a cute dog. He's adorable!

F the Cynic

F on A's table manners: Where did you learn to eat? In a garbage can? In a truck?

F on V's table manners: Where did you learn to eat? On a farm?

Me: When you go back to school after coronavirus you can tell your friends you have a dog.
F: After coronavirus, the dog will be dead!

Olfactory Observation (OO)

F to me: We have to get some perfume in this room because it does smell like butt crack.

F F F F F

Me: You ate sardines?
F: Yes! It is fish. Do you like fish? It is the best kind of chicken,

F: Can you clean up this ant?
Me: Oh, it is in pieces.
F: Not pieces, I popped his eyeballs out so he could not see what I was doing to him.

F: Is Costco Chinese?
Me: No, it's American.
F: I am not American, I am Asian.
Me: You are?
F: We are all Asian in this family.