Today

 Me- Your breath stinks!

F: It is mixed with V's. 

This week...

 Me to A: Are you going to practice piano?

A: First I need to shove my breakfast down the hatch!

Me to A: What are you going to miss about living in Newton

A: Being able to walk down the street and not get kidnapped.

Me to F: What should we get L for her bday?

F: A microwave.

Me: Anything else?

F: A tv, hers is too small.

M: Any other ideas?

F: A bed, hers is too big.

Later when he say her gift bags: That does not look like you have a microwave or tv in there!

F: Can T(dog) babysit us one day?

F: When we play the game, we have the power to not suffocate!

F's Plans

When I am 18 I am going to get a septum piercing and blue and pink hair with a mohawk. And cobra tattoos everywhere. I am going to do push-ups every morning so I can be ripped! I hope that my hands and feet grow more. I am going to look so cool walking around. They won't see the mohawk because I will wear a helmet when I am building houses and I will have a mask so they won't see my septum piercing. I also want one eyebrow pierced. 

A Questions Curriculum

 From an email to her teacher:

Dear Mrs. Z,

Sorry to bother you but I was looking up I-ready to log in, and saw some surprising common questions that were asked about it. I am not a fan of I-Ready, but I do understand it is part of our 4th grade reading curriculum, so when I saw these questions I decided to dig deeper. It turns out the I-Ready diagnostic is not good for kids. In the files you will see below, the I-Ready diagnostic is, and I quote " A dehumanizing assessment that causes stress and is overall, useless with no benefits." "It is a big waste of time and does not teach anything to students."  I am curious to see if you have any thoughts on I-Ready.

Just wanted you to know.

Kindly, A

F's Inquiries

 When I told him he would have music in school next year, F: Is it jazz?

Me: No, I don't think so.

F: Is it smooth?

When I asked him what he wanted for breakfast, F: Oatmeal and yogur de tomar and perhaps some strawberries?

Inquiry

 F- Is M a woman?

F (sr)- She is a young woman.

F- Is mamá full woman?

F, The Sassy Student

L to F: Soy viejita, a veces se me olvidan las cosas.

F: Does your brain need a cane?

F to L: Can you not say that my break is 5 minutes? I always have 5-minute breaks.

L: ¿Cúantos minutos quieres? (Yes, she speaks only Spanish to him and he responds in English)

F: At least 7.

F on finances

Me to (big) F:  Our credit card is out of control, we spent X dollars on it. We need to slow down!

F: no, keep going, you are going to get rich soon!

F this week

 F- What does "EIWGH" spell?

Me- I try to pronounce it.

F- Do you know what that means? It's dumb dumb in French!

F- When you are old, it is easy to crack yourself!

F explaining a scene to me:

They were holding the donkey hostage. They were so mean. They tried to impale the donkey. When they mess with that donkey, they mess with me!  (no idea what he was talking about but it sounds intense)

Thankful

 This year we each wrote what we were thankful for about each other on a piece of paper. Each family member got a piece of paper with 6 notes on it from the rest of the family.

What V wrote about A made me cry: She is the fun and joy of my life!

F on the toilet this am..

 Do I have another interview?

F had a zoom interview and assessment this week (totally normal for a 4 year old?!?). He was asked numbers, letters, shapes, and to talk about things that interested him. On the subject of bears of shared that he had seen one. The interviewer asked "Where can you see a bear?" F told her a long story about the time our family saw a grizzly bear while we were hiking and how we sprayed it with bear spray. He then added for good measure, that he has also seen a polar bear. 

interviewer- How did you see a polar bear?

F- When I went to the north pole.

interviewer- with you whole family?

F- No, just me and my dad.

interviewer- when was that?

F- 25 years ago!

F Learning

 F made this hand gesture to show me how close he is to knowing everything!

He is worried about all of the math he does not know "I don't even know 90 +44"

F on today's election

 I will just drive there and beat up Donald Trump!

F's Scientific Insights

 Do you know where pee comes from? Your brain!

What do germs look like? Do they have horns?

When I got in the car and it was stinky: Did you fart?

F: Yes.

Me: That is powerful.

F: I am powerful so that is how I make my farts. Weak people make them weak. Lazy people make lazy farts.

This AM

 J to F- I wish I were small like you.

F- No, you don't. It is horrible being short. I cannot even reach things up high that people hide, Trust me, you do not want to be short!

F- I would not go to the action figure bin. They all fart in there, it smells horrible!

 F was showing A a toy he wants for Xmas from an old book. A said: That toy doesn't exist anymore, you cannot get it.

F: Yes I can. I already ordered it from Santa.

Discussing last night's sleeping arrangments...

F to J: I slept alone because he (V) betrayed me!

Why didn't you sleep w A?

I have. In my life, I have slept with her but last night V betrayed me!

Trump is alive?

 F, watching the news, perplexed: Trump is alive? Really? This whole time I thought he was dead.

F today

 F, showing me a pose: It is not that impressive.

Wearing a mask is disgusting because you have to smell your own breath!

When I was in your belly I could hear Obama being president.

When I was a baby, there was a thornbush, and I didn't have my bday yet. Papi told me not to touch it, and I did and I got a thorn stuck in my hand. Along came a hornet and took it out with its stinger.

F Playing with Action Figures

 He is being brainwashed! L, do not look, this part is inappropriate for you!

All I want is a ZOOM

 F just said.

First day of online school for his four siblings. Lots of feelings.

All I want is no more fucking zoom.

I had 9 hours of class yesterday, 6 on zoom. During the 45th interruption, I began discussing piano practice versus going for a run with M. A few minutes in I heard my ethics professor say "Violeta, I think your mic is on." Mortifying.

The whole day is getting kids on zoom, snacks, food, garbage, try to read for class. Exercise? Try to talk to F, plan. Assignments due. Mine. Theirs. Paperwork for clinical. Freaking out about if I have corona. Fielding emails from elderly family members who think I am a doctor.

Breathe. We have food. And a house. And internet. This sucks but we are fortunate.

I am a nurse. Finally. I cannot believe it. I want to cry. For good and bad reasons.

Back to the grind!!