Fan Mail

"Dear Ms. Ebsten,
I am sory for acting silly yesterday. Today I will have a beder behavyor. I will lisin beder. Also I will cosantrat harder. From XXX"

I love getting these apology notes. I also love kids who misbehave. Life is short and impeccably behaved aim to please students are no fun. I consider myself lucky and privileged to get to teach such a large and varied group (about 87 kids ages 3 to 9 over the course of a week) in school plus my private tutees (older, wealthy high school kids) and Street Squash ones (7th grade, inner city  kids). I try to find a connection with each kid so that he/she can be successful and I hope to bring some humor to it all. Last year, someone in the author of this note's class wrote "Ms Ebsten is BAD" on an eraser. I suspected it was this child, and a year later, the spelling of my name on the apology note confirms it. You can't please all of the children all of the time, but I am amused most of the time:)

Mid-Week School Blues

It was hard to get out of the house this morning. My son wants to go back to daycare (serious case of melancholy for his friends, teachers, and the institution) and my daughter is getting in trouble in school and hence not that excited about it. Sad to see any jaded attitude about school in kindergarten. There is no doubt that this is all heightened by the annoying trip to school (M4 sucks ass, miss it and you may as well crawl and you will arrive to your destination sooner than if you wait for the next one), their father's absence (back from China tonight thank goodness!), and the burgeoning belly, which so far they seem excited about but must also present some sort of subconscious threat. I am grateful to be back-pain free, pregnancy problems free (fun fun diabetes test yesterday) and full swing into the New York Film Festival (so fun to meet C or T and now F! every night). If I could only fit the gym in (those power sessions with G are great for the body and soul) and not have a faculty meeting tomorrow (this is the third Thurs that I will be held prisoner here at school), life would be grand.

Compression Tights: Love'em or Leave'em

Okay, so that is not my leg but that may be where I am heading. Pregnancy, 2 out of 3 times with me, leads to nasty bulging and painful veins. So the first time I did nothing and right after delivery they were gone. This time, they came on so soon and so aggressively that I invested in compression tights (ie ugly expensive old lady pantyhose that are supposed to help) and never wore them. Until today. Just like all pantyhose, heels, etc I am miserable. Uncomfortable as hell. Maybe this is because, as my daughter says "you have no fashion"/"your fashion is disgusting." Really I think that people, women, were not meant to squeeze their bodies into uncomfortable contraptions. So, I have these beauties on today but I am not sure that I can wear them again. I may just have to add ugly veins to my list of war wounds (scars from various surgeries, clumsy incidents, stretch marks).

La Cina NON e' Vicina

F has been in China for 3 days (or maybe 2 since he spent one on a plane) and I can tell you that it is not close. It is far far away and once in a while J asks me "Where is papi again?" and when M melts down she wants papi of course, because he is in China and there is not much we can do about that. F has not slept more than 3 hours at a time since he got there, the trip and time difference are brutal. If I had to travel like he does, I would die -- literally, from either exhaustion or homesickness. Everyone always asks me why he has to travel so much, can he say no, will it diminish- unfortunately the answer to all of these questions is no or I don't know. I do not envy my spouse. I am left to single parent a lot but I have the better deal. Thank you I am Sam/King of Siam for doing what you do, packing your own clothes, and for being my best friend.
PS I recommend this Italian gem by Bellocchio, director extraordinaire of Vincere and I Pugni in Tasca as well.

Head to Toe

There aren't many images as sweet as seeing your son, sleeping with his best friend, head to toe on the bottom bunk. To complete the cuteness, my sister, aka the babysitter tonight, is sleeping on the top bunk. This is only possible because the top bunk tenant, aka my daughter, is at her own sleepover at her best friend's house on E's new bunk bed. Long live pajama parties!

Characters

My children are funny and bad, wonderful and true delinquents. M's teacher informed me that she was giving out stickers for "first time listening" and that my daughter was the only one who had not gotten one. I was not surprised seeing as how she never "first time listens" to me- always too engrossed or uninterested in my requests. Her teacher added, "I do not think she cares either." Of course she does not, she is a smart ass and probably thinks not listening is worth losing a sticker. My son, after his outrage at the lameness of soccer class, told his teacher, one of my closest friends, who was making a chart about "our favorite things to do in the classroom" that his answer was "nothing." She continued to give him ideas about what he likes, does, anything that she could possibly list on the colorful chart, bur he just gave her his mischievous smile and said "nothing." That will make for an interesting entry on the cheerful classroom chart. On another note, I noticed him playing the drums with some cutlery the other day and said "J, you have rhythm, you should take drum classes." His response, "Ok, but first sign me up to be in a band."

Large & In Charge

The bigger I get, the more normal I feel. No discomfort or pain or anything, other than those damn veins. I am complete when I am round. I seem more normal with child(ren) than not. Too bad this is the last time. I will try to enjoy the 17-20 weeks I have left with Kiwi/Phoebe, aka Cashie/Bashie in utero. Until then... watch me grow!

Pregnancy Etiquette

1. Do not ask if it was an accident (mind your own damn business... were you an accident?)
2. Do not ask moronic questions like, "Did you know it was twins?" How the hell could I know that?
3. Do not ask super personal questions (eg "Did you have fertility?" For the record, I did not could not would not with a mouse not in a house not with a fox not in a box...
4. Do not touch me without permission (I am not touchy feely now or ever).
5. Do not give me unsolicited advice/comments regarding caffeine, alcohol etc because I will drink what we damn please!
6. Do feel free to offer me a seat when I am with bags and children (I will gladly put some of those down and stay standing).
7. Do offer to give me hand me downs (I take everything...my goal this time around...buy nothing!)
8. Do feel free to come over and babysit any time any number of kids :)

Double Trouble

Twins! When Dr. C first told me with a huge grin... I was not surprised...at all. Weird I know, but I had a feeling. While F. thinks that I willed it to happen, I would argue that I simply have a sixth sense. What I feared most about a third was a fourth. "Why would that happen? That's ridiculous" F said. "How could this happen?" I asked Dr. C. Apparently it happens to 1% of the population and when it comes to medical statistics, I am a wonder. 1% of babies are born on their due date (go M!) 5% of microdiscectomy patients need to have the surgery again (June '09 and then Jan'10 baby). If you have a statistic or "chance of it happening" to share with me to make me feel better, spare me because I defy odds. Anyway, back to my double mint story... I imagined the doctor telling it was twins five minutes before she did and I then imagined vomiting on her (which I did not, fortunately for her, because I did barf all over an ob as she delivered M.). I was not thrilled to say the least. 4? WTF? Where do I put them? How do I manage them? The doctor immediately offered me a reduction (kind of like a price slash but a euphemism for selective abortion). I found this to be weird and insensitive. I had barely processed the confirmation of not only one, but two lives inside of me, and I was already being offered a way to make life more convenient. I say, don't fuck with nature. I wanted more kids and that is what I got. I believe in life unfolding as it should. I believe in accepting it as gracefully as possible. I believe that this will be a mother load (literally) of a challenge but that I will make it. I think these twins are a test and a gift to my children and family and that, in the end, I am one lucky mamma.

Gratitude

Thank you to Ms S. & Ms K. for a great first week of Nursery and to Ms. Mc. and Ms. C. for a good one in SK ( I know a lot less about what went on there). A Big GRACIAS to M, I, & A who took J at random hours this transition week and to T  & D for their nighttime help. It really does take a village... I am grateful for all of the support.

When It Rains...

Woke up late, missed gym. Saw T who graciously stayed with kids last night so we could see the worst Venezuelan film ever. Went to work. Struggled with J drop off, he is not convinced of school yet. Avoided lice check so as not to have any more potential wrenches in the day. Taught some. Emailed some. Laminated signs for my classroom and my mother's (since destroyed by the torrential rain). Picked J up (remember school only comes in baby increments this week). Played with/let J destroy my classroom. Handed J over to I (thank you!) who took him out to lunch and play. Taught more. Retrieved J and then M and left them at after school (poor J's face at our fake reunion). Picked up farm share. Bought cookies (and ate) that I shouldn't have. Went to a faculty meeting that was RIDICULOUS with a pompous guest speaker who lectured us about how to give effective and engaging presentations while she did the opposite. Left the never-ending meeting just in time to get myself and both kids SOAKED in the worst storm I have been outside for (smart people stayed in). Solid 12-15 minutes on the street with bags, kids and belly as no bus came and no cab that stopped was willing to take us home. Cab snagged. Could not open the door for my life. Kind driver came out in rain to open. Arrived home and stripped our drenched clothing off. Bathed kids. Kids fought. Meltdowns. Babysitter late. Changed and went downtown to brother's fundraiser. Smiled. Chatted. Ran raffle. Saw some family and friends. Subway back home. Borrowed money from mother/brother to pay sitter. Borrowed money from daughter's piggy bank to tip Fresh Direct delivery man. Put groceries away. Folded laundry sitting in dryer since this am. Spoke briefly to spouse in Wisconsin. He was renting a car to drive two hours (at 11pm!) to I do not know where for a meeting tomorrow. Blogged. Bored you. Off to bed so I can get up and repeat another version of today's madness.

Professional Player

(Before the first Super Soccer Stars Class)
-Will I play in a stadium?
-No, I do not think so.
-Can I have a water bottle for when I am sweaty?
-Sure.
(At the field)
-Where are all of the people?
Followed by...
-This is not a real soccer field.
45 minutes and $280 later.. there had been no soccer playing. Perhaps starting with a Boca Juniors game at the age of 3 was setting the bar too high.
Play J play.. one day you will make it to a stadium!

Babysitter Babysitter, Can You Hear Me?

I feel like I am some sort of CIA level childcare researcher/problem solver. No matter HOW much money we spend, people we know, favors we ask... childcare is never quite resolved. After securing my college age brother's help many months ago for next week's highly irritating transition week (i.e. your kid goes to school for 5 seconds a day so he can adapt/adjust while you lose your shit trying to figure out what he does the other 95% of the work day), he alas, has a show to play in faraway college. So, I thought I had it under control. Many MANY emails/phone calls, no's, maybe's and no answer's later I have not yet fully resolved the issue. Thankfully I have some generous unemployed friends and I am now unabashedly hitting them up for huge favors. My little J "hates" my school and is "not going" so I also need someone with a mushy spot for a fragile BT lover being thwarted into nursery school against his will (much like his graduation). Thank you A for saving me Friday, it warms my heart that J will be with you, someone he loves and who loves him in his tough week ahead.

More and More and More

If only I looked this fit right now:)

I am a junkie. The more I can do in a day the happier I am. Today I was at school for six hours (I must be honest I did not get too much done but I did unpack some, have some meetings etc), then rushed to physical therapy, back home to hang with kids, bathe them, make dinner and then I met a friend for a (free!) preview of Catfish. Once that was done, since I already had a sitter, I called my brother for an impromptu mini visit to the gym at 9:30pm. This is living. I may have some sort of hormonal imbalance but busy=happy for me. After days and days of languor filled with parks, pool, t.v., museums, I had forgotten what makes me tick. Some may think that I exaggerate and take on too much but I say, it is the opposite. Unfortunately for my family, whom I hardly let relax, I am grumpy if we do not have "a plan" every weekend. I am happy today and feel like I can take on the complex challenges that lie ahead.

I Am Here

I have mixed feelings about this blog, its purpose, intended audience, and quite frankly its validity. What is wrong with me? There are millions of women around the world that take on much more than I do with fewer resources, less help, and more children. I guess I am starting this puppy up because in NYC, where I live, I do not personally know anyone in this situation. There are surely some very wealthy and many very impoverished families with four kids in this town, but do they have two workaholic parents, two bedrooms and two young kids with two (twins!) on the way? Maybe. It is entirely possible that I am not special, not interesting, and not blog worthy. But I am going to give it a shot and if anything I say sounds remotely amusing, painful, familiar or moronic, please chime in. For now, I am going to go to bed to get ready for my first day back at work (school), my first day in (too) many away from my 3 and 5 year olds, and my first night with two twins in utero and two blogs under my belt. Two seems to be a theme here. Hmmm.