Time

Last year F and I had the pleasure of going to hear Jeff Bridges speak at Lincoln Center. Aside from being a great actor, Bridges spoke movingly about his relationship with his parents in a way that few adults do or can. He described many of the traditions and routines that he shared with them, but one that stuck out for me was "time." This hour per week per child was designated to do anything with his mother. He described how as a little kid it was just one on one playing and as a teenager it could be something as simple as having her rub his feet. As basic as it sounds, quality time is really important. We all suffer from a lack of quality time  as we work, get interrupted by the phone, are bombarded by the Internet etc. One on one face time is increasingly rare. My mother used to take us each for a "special program" (one on one time) as well as kids and yesterday, as I sat on the bus with just J (M was at a play date), I realized how basic and nice alone time can be. J and I chatted, he mostly spoke, as our trips home are usually negotiations between him and his sister, snacks etc. We spent the afternoon watching his choice of cartoons, playing with Magnatiles and action figures and okay, I will admit it, me lying a lot like a beached whale on the couch. M and I recently got some alone time as I took her to ice skating, just the two of us, for the past two weekends. I need to remember the importance of alone time for each child. Even if it will never be a weekly hour and even if I will have to defer to F to dole some of it out. My kids are already so big and grown up some time that I wonder where the hell has time gone? I would like to remember in the future.