One and One

Sorry for the radio silence. Here are some lines from the last few days...

A: When I was born I used to play the piano and all of the kids said "yay" and I got a Hello Kitty Flower (J got one after his recital last week).

V, in response: When I got older, I got a car flower when I played the piano.

J when I asked him why he does not pass the ball to M in basketball: She is like a carpet.
Me: What?
J: She lets everyone walk all over her (nice sexist player in the making).

A dick father whose son I tutored recently as he wrote me a check: Should I make it out to cash or to you?
Me: To me is fine.
Dick: I do not even know who you are. What's your name? (I tutored his older son a few years ago. Nice!)

V: Did you see the fashion of my robot?
A: Your robot does not have any fashio.
V, crying: Yes. HE DOES. My robot does have fashion.

J on M: She has one patience, and it always breaks.

J when I asked him what was in his (lost) gym bag: My blazer, my tie, my gym uniform.
Me: Not your (new) sneakers right?
J: One and one.
Me: What?
J: I had one old sneaker and one new sneaker in there.

Fabulous! Hope he enjoys that fashion for the rest of the year!