VVVVVVVVVVVVV

V looking out at the snow, today, March 28: It's about to be Christmas!

V playing restaurant with A and L: You cannot speak Spanish in here. Or English. This is an Italian restaurant.

V when I tried to make movie night exciting (all three other monkeys out on sleepovers): Can I have soda?
Me: No.
V: Beer?
Me: No.
V: Wine?
Me: No
V: Cola loca? I love cola loca, it is spicy!

V after I wiped his butt: I need to poop more.
Me: great. I just cleaned you.
V: I do not need to poop more. I need to let my butt breathe a little.

V to F who was trying to put on his swim camp: Um, perhaps, no!

When I asked if he missed his siblings and if he wanted them to come back: No, I want a dog.

Limited Knowledge

Here are some highlights from the last 24 hours...

V pooped in the bidet (nothing like picking up a turd with your hands).

M slipped into the Lago di Como (I tried hard not to laugh).

J explained ISIS to me: They are like ninjas but very bad. Oh-Rock O-bama blew up their country but they are still angry and bad.

V asked who the skeleton was (Jesus on the cross) in the Castello S'forzesco Museum. After I said "Jesus" and told him he was a popular figure in art but mostly as a baby (in that gallery).. A set out to find "Gee-Liss" all over the museum and then in churches (such as the Duomo in Como). The way she says "Gee-Liss" really makes him sound like a rapper.

V's Thoughts in Italia

As I sit down to write, I hear V fooling around (in bed) and I say: I really want to give papi a good report. Go to sleep. To which this midget retorts: Did you know you are just a mean whale?

V in Venice today: I want to go home.
Me: To the house in Milano or to New York?
V: I want to go back to my original life!

V, as we strolled in Venice: This is not North Carolina!

V when he heard that he was the shortest in the family: I am not small, I am tall. I am the tallest in the family!
Me: Sure. You are as tall as papi.
V: Almost!

Okay okay... here come some!

J to F: I like your genes!
Me: What about mine?
J: I do not know what yours are. Papi's are like mine: he likes shopping, pickles, and candy.

F to J: You should watch me put up the blinds so you can start to learn how to be handy.
J: I don't want to be handy.
F: What about when you get married? Are you going to help around the house and fix things for your wife?
J: I am going to be gay so my husband can fix things.
Me: What if he is not handy just like you?
J: Then I would get another husband.


J: Nonno G has more than one car? Is he a millionaire?
F: No!
J: So he is a thousandaire?

V last night as he came down with croup (good times, he sounds like a dying seal): My brain is not talking.

A: This house is too big. I want to move back to our old house.
Me: Why?
A: Because I want to live with S and J (our former neighbors).

J looking at a muscle magazine: I cannot even get one bump!

As I told J not to worry about getting money, I told him that was my job. J: Is papi part of the job?
Me: What do you think?
J: Yes. But who does more?
Me: What do you think?
J: You. But I am more like papi. We have the same genes for old fashioned cartoons like He-man, shopping, and licorice.

Me to A as she sat in a time out: You are misbehaving.
A, screaming at me: And YOU are misbehaving!

V, as J and F discussed genes: I like your genes too. I like to wear them.