Twin Growth: 23 Weeks 1 Day

Friday was my 1000th sonogram to make sure that my cervix is sealed (yes! I am now done with these) and that the twins are growing. After some measurements and approximations we learned that Twin A is 1lb 6oz and Twin B 1lb 7oz. How the hell could they be so little with so many organs? Kick so hard? Make me so large? I feel so well (thankfully) that I am unaware of how enormous I look until I catch a glimpse of my profile. Lots of kids in school ask me "Are the babies coming out soon? Your belly is so big." No, they are not coming out any time soon I hope, In fact, the longer they stay in there the better as far as I am concerned. I do not like tiny scrawny babies, I am in no rush to have the newborns and I think they should come out when they are ready. Doctors in America disagree. My Ob will not let me go past 38 weeks (Feb 9) so I am hoping she will get distracted at around that time so that if they are going to come out on their own at 38 weeks and 3 days they can do so in peace without medical intervention meant to reduce the risk of (legal) complications a few days in advance. I am strangely unaware of being pregnant, much less with twins (that part is surreal) and these sonograms are a nice reminder of the miracle of life, the rapid pace of growth, and the amazing processes our bodies can carry out while I go about my regular life. Here's to 15 more weeks of pregnancy! I realize that at that point I will not be able to put on my shoes or move very gracefully but I think it is worth keeping them buns in the oven:)

Idioms & Expressions

One of my favorite things about children is how they make up their own expressions and mishear real ones.
M has coined the phrase "a freckle or a pimple" amount of something (often used when negotiating, i.e. "a pimple more of ice cream"), "rusty" (wilting) flowers and "spanking" hot water. I find these neologisms to be quite picturesque and effective in the images they conjure up. On the flip side of this complicated English language, are the expressions that are not literal and do not make much sense if you have not heard them before. M has a fever and had to skip swimming today. When I told her she would have a make up lesson she was bursting with joy, imagining a class in which she would be smothered in lipstick and eye shadow. "Really? Make-up?" When I told her to her dismay that there was no maquillage involved, she could not understand why such a scintillating notion (make up!) was mixed up with an extra swimming lesson. When I told her we were not going out unless her fever went down she replied in smart ass tone "Down? Like downtown?"

J's Classic One-Liners

When M asked why some of her classmates were not available for her party next weekend, J looked up reassuringly at his sister and said "I am available."

When I picked him up from my mother's house this evening:
J- I want to stay more time.
Me- You can stay a few more minutes.
J- okay go away because I want to stay here without you.

To me last night:
"You are precious and gracious." (Not sure what the hell he means if anything:)

To me yesterday:
"Can we go back to BT? I am forgetting some parts of it and I want to remember." This kid is loyal!

Parent Teacher Conferences

Are today. I am usually on the giving not receiving end of this endeavor. I am not sure why it is so important to hear other people say nice things about one's children. But it is. At least for me. I do not particularly care if M is an amazing reader or if J is a skilled athlete/musician. I do care if their teachers think they are nice, interesting, and especially kind to the adults and children in school. After much trepidation on my part, I was thrilled to hear at 7:40 am that M is a great member of her class, never melting down or being fresh (ie like at home) and always willing to find ways to include kids in her games. J is apparently also a social guy, who especially enjoys the ladies in his class (who wouldn't? they are adorable). I am now happy to sit in my classroom for hours cleaning and copying/planning because I have a warm feeling inside that F and I are doing something right. Happy Friday!

Halloween Thursday

What do you get when 300+ kids dress up in the morning, party in the classroom (sugar included), parade around the school, and get Halloween cupcakes for dessert? A damn exhausting  and not very productive teaching day. We celebrated today because school is closed to students for parent conferences tomorrow. This means that the Halloween high is going to be 4 days long this year. Help! M is a vampire (she glowed when the costume came in the mail and told J proudly it was "sexy" until I looked at her and she pronounced a guilty"sorry.") complete with fangs, gel in the hair and maybe even orange and black press on nails. J is the Incredible Hulk, a costume that looks like a green version of last year's Spiderman (ie a polyester one piece with muscles) and a plastic mask. Unlike last year, he does not seem angry about wearing his costume although he insists on NOT going to the after school Halloween party (which M will not miss) and accompanying me to Fizkal Ferapy. This makes for a lot of back and forth (school to PT, PT to school, school to home) but hopefully two happy campers:)

Bus/Afternoon Chatter

J to me "I love you when you are dressed."
J about a crying baby: "Bebés are irritating." Who knew he could use such a sophisticated word?
M to me: "You have to be at least 21 to drink soda."

Happy 9 Puchie!

Today is my 9th wedding anniversary. I am getting old. In January it will be 15 years!! that we are together. I am grateful for every day with F who not only puts up with me, but is lovely to me (almost) always. He could be a lot moodier (I am), demanding (like me), or fretful (guilty). But he is not. F is a calm, helpful, sweet guy with A LOT of patience, a big heart, and a high tolerance for all that makes me difficult. Grazie amore. I hope we grow old and fat together, ti amo!
PS This is not us. F is bald and I have straggly salt & pepper hair:)

Morning Chatter

Me to M: "It is hot and rainy. Why don't you wear a dress today?"
M to me: "What do you want me to wear next? A tuxedo?"

Me to F: "Can you brush her hair (M's)?"- Lately it looks like an animal is building a nest in there no matter what I do
M to F: "We have conditioner if you need a little kick!"

J to me: "I know how they make chocolate milk (his am obsession). They smush chocolate and then keep on smushing it and selling it."

Maybe they can grow up to be comedians?

J's Deep Dinner Thought

Picking your nose is important.

Bathroom Etiquette

"Ma-mi! Pa-pi! Come-HERE- NOOOOWWW!!". I thought I heard this chanting/screaming in the background as I struggled to stay awake for an episode of Homicide last night. As soon as I paused the dvd, F went up to find M loudly repeating her ditty. M had gotten off her top bunk to poop and just wanted to inform us that she was not going to flush lest she wake her bunk mate. How considerate!

Little Deal or Big Deal?

One of the many child friendly terms that we use at school is "big/little deal." This is to convey the idea that a freak out is not always necessary. One of my favorite students ever, who happens to have a VERY volatile temper (she once threw a tray across the cafeteria because somebody served her a food she did not want) came to class with a heart shaped necklace that said "big deal or little deal" on it. This mantra was supposed to help her  put frustration in perspective before flying off the handle. When I told her it was time to clean up and warned her repeatedly to stop coloring she ignored me. After I took her sheet away from her she threw a marker against the wall with all her might and yelled at me. A classmate observed "You forgot to look at your heart necklace." Don't we all sometimes? I still love this kid, even if a meltdown is involved in most classes.

Comment from a Friend

This is one in which a visual would be more more effective than my written description. M's friend who I have not seen in a while was fascinated by the growth of my belly and kept gesturing "You are like straight (touching my chest) and then bloop (making a big bump)." He is 5 and kept making the hand gesture, it was very cute.

Bedtime Note

M taped this note on her brother's bed and told him NOT to have us read it to him (funny since he cannot read):
I am mad at you j and so mad at you that i wnet to kel you

Should I worry? Is she going to be an axe murderer? Probably not, just a passionate and emotional sister but it cracked me up. Maybe I am a criminal.
She has since put the note in the recycling.

Car Chatter

As M tried to understand what an anniversary is (she insists on calling it an anniversity or universary), I told her it was usually for a wedding but sometimes for a death. J. observed "I do not want to be dead because I will not be able to play with my action figures." He also said, "If somebody dies and you miss them you can paint a picture of the person and put it in a frame so you do not miss them." J. also told us that his new baby snail (at school) is called Batman Hanitizer (what he calls hand sanitizer) and that we are waiting for his Batman costume in the mail. Funny guy.

Yesterday Was...

A Wacky Wednesday. No wonder I am kind of tired today. I started the day with a very brief trip to the gym (I am obsessed with reaching 120 visits this year so as to get a measly $150 from my insurance) followed by a rocking out car trip to school. Since I had a light teaching load, I ran (via bus) to old and soon to be again day care to drop off some ceramic pieces for their spring auction (two unlimited metrocard swipes). At 2:30 I promptly skedaddled to physical therapy, where my reassuring Joel told me I was doing well while some annoying intern of his commented on and corrected my every move (go away!). Express train to day care again (4 swipes now if you are counting) to work on two painting projects (beautiful vase and bowl) with J's old classmates for the auction (hope they bring in thousands$$). Bus back to school (I guess this was a transfer so it does not count) to pick up midgets and give me lots of snacks to appease their hunger and my guilt as we waited (surprise!) an eternity for an M4 home. Took sooo long to get home that by the time I made dinner and plopped it in front of midgets (special tv watching meal), F was back and I was out the door to tutor (swipe 6). A few hours and many dollars later (kaching$$) I was back home (I did take two cabs so I did not abuse the unlimited as much as I hoped) and ready to eat a delicious meal prepared by F (spicy farro!) while we watched an episode of Homicide (season 6 baby!) and I watched (F slept) Please Give which I should have skipped. So today I will get back from work and eat bon bons and get a manicure. Just kidding! I have a very pleasant conversation class to give right by school (one block away) while midgets yoga and then I am going home for a playdate with an old classmate and her daughter while I hope F comes back home in time for me to leave for school. We have an open house tonight for prospective parents. 7-9pm. Fun fun! Did I mention that EVERY Thursday brings some sort of post school hours school commitment. Yikes! So, no gym today but hopefully a yummy meal will be waiting for me at home. Happy Thursday!

Orange T-Shirt: Bad Idea

As I got  hot teaching my first period class, I took off my long sleeve black top to reveal my short sleeve orange one. E. commented, "You look like a pumpkin!" Very astute comment. Fashion choice, not so much. Another little girl asked, "Are you having a baby?" These kids catch on fast!
PS This is my real costume (minus tights and the moronic smile) for this year and all the others that I have been pregnant!

Morning Inquiry

Upon entering school and being greeted, like most days, by the principal J asked:
 "Who is that woman who is always in the lobby?"
I told him, "It's Ms. C, the head of the school."
J: "Is she the head of us?"

Here's Some Music For You

Because I am immature and
I like a beat as I bore to death at the gym
Because I think I did breakdancing in another life.
Enjoy..

Shake It!- Metro Station

P.S. The music idea is my older younger sister's. If I were more tech savvy it would be embedded instead of a link. Sorry.

Manual Labor

I am guessing that my ancestors in Russia or Italy must have surely included many blue collar workers. There is something so satisfying about manual labor that I almost wish I hadn't gone to college. Okay, I would not take it that far, but there is a part of me that longs to work at the Chinese dry cleaner's, to sort and clean and bag all of that clothes.. another part of me wishes I could paint the lane stripes on the street (I once did in Milano with a perplexed worker's permission), make pizzas all day (I also did this on one of my birthdays to F's horror- he is easily embarrassed) or just sort and pack stuff. Part of my psychosis ties in with my love for recycling no doubt. There is just so much stuff everywhere, surplus, it is anxiety- provoking. I love having drives at my school where families bring in old books, clothes, eyeglasses etc. The satisfaction I get packing mountains of dregs for the donors and treasures for the recipients is just huge. I just spent an hour packing school supplies for Operation International Children and I can assure it will be the highlight of my day. I found a trucking company that is coming to pick up these heavy boxes for free and take them to the warehouse in Missouri, from which they will be shipped to Iraq and Afghanistan. THANK YOU Old Dominion Freight for being so damn generous and efficient! So, I leave you with this question. Do you like to do mindless tasks? Use your hands? Maybe this is part of what makes us, historically and biologically distinct as humans? How we use tools and our digits. My mother gets her relief by ironing 100 shirts a week, I do everyone and their mother's laundry (except for my own mother's), F fixes anything and everytihing that is broken (jewelry, toys, plumbing, electronics). Please do tell me how you use your hands...

Dinner Chatter

M to J who did not want the tomato on his fresh mozzarella "It's like a silent tomato, you cannot taste it but it makes the mozzarella better." (J tasted and noted "I can taste it and it is disgusting.")
J to F regarding the milk he had to finish "it is too long." J to the apple slice that kept falling out of his hand, "Why can't it just stay in the air like the sun but with nobody holding it?"

Breakthrough!

Yesterday my lovely J went to swimming and did not cry! He did not yell! I wrestled him to get his clothes off but after that he was willingly bopping in the pool and while he made sure to keep his angry "cara de culo" on the whole time, he did not suffer. Yeah! In the meantime, M was making me tired swimming laps like a maniac back and forth across the pool. We had a Crazy day, as usual, teeming with activities (brunch with J's best friend, 100 errands, my tutoring, their soccer fair) that culminated in a (late) all school party at Chelsea Piers. J spent the whole time chasing and being chased by a lovely little girl in his class, while M engaged in soccer, gymnastics and other cool social SK activities. These children go to bed religiously between 7:15-7:45, 8pm tops. After all they did, they went to bed at 9:20pm! Did they wake up a minute later today? No Siree Bob, that's just not how it works with them. For those of you who think I am too strict in my routines, I will have you know that not only did they bypass bedtime, but these kids have not been bathed since Friday night! Off we go to get J at soccer (maybe he will smile there today?) and to brunch with friends. Happy Sunday!
PS This is not my son and I do not know this whale. I have a lovely blog follower who always thinks my blog images are authentic and mine. They never are!

Calling All Bettors!

Do you have a gambling gene? I do not, but many in my family do. I am not starting an official betting pool yet (the prize will of course be non-monetary- maybe babysitting opportunities:)) but I do want you to start thinking about the following predictions..
1) When will twins be born?
2) What sex(es) are they? (If you want to be ambitious you can even tell me who twin a, on my left head down is and who twin b, on my right across is)?
3) How much will they weigh/measure?
4) How far apart will they come out (you can assume naturally but maybe not)?
Lots of variables, start calculating.
Also, if you have any name suggestions... we are looking for 4 names (2 boy and 2 girl) that are either in Spanish/Italian and go well together and with the other monkeys's names.
Thanks!
PS If you want to start predicting early, please do. I will keep track until I develop an official table of predictions.

Concrete Evidence

Yes,  I have had 10000 medical visits and sonograms and tests and I have felt the babies moving. But last night, for the first time they were on turbo and I could see a round bump on my right side (a head I think) and there was a definite bony thing (foot or knee?) sticking out next to my belly button. So strange but so real and concrete. F kept pushing the hard bony baby part back in and talking to it and it (I mean he/she) kept pushing back out. Fascinating. Almost wish pregnancy could last longer or that I could do it again but I think neither is realistic. The human body is a crazy thing. As we smooshed in bed this am I asked M (we like impromptu math questions) "How many people are on the bed?" She correctly answered 6 (J said 11) and then I asked, "How many grew inside of me?" Crazy to think I am/was the oven for 4/6 or 2/3 of the humans on the bed.

25 Things You Do Not (Maybe) Know About Me

1. I got this idea from a trash magazine- celebrities make these lists and I love gossip magazines!
2. I wish I were taller, darker and had curly hair.
3. I have major OCD and I need all the labels facing out in the fridge, books in size order, clothing hanging the same way in the closet etc. Apparently my children inherited this uninteresting trait.
4. I drive like I am 14 or 84 years old (ie like crap). I may be too dumb to master it- have been trying for decades.
5. I am a vegetarian but I am an animal hater (unpopular I know, but sincere).
6. I adore dark dark chocolate (with sea salt!) but strongly dislike milk chocolate crap imitations.
7. I have known F since we were 14. We have been married almost 9 years and together almost 15!
8. I am obsessed with coupons, deals, and saving money.
9. There is nothing I like more than smooshing in bed with F and midgets (will need a bigger bed soon).
10. I have a high threshold for pain and do not mind labor.
11. I have a bright green birthmark on my butt- in case you ever need to id my body.
12. I love cop/mafia/crime tv shows.
13. I do not have cable but I see over 200 movies a year.
14. I seem like a bossy bitch to some but I am quite nice (just very opinionated).
15. I like rap and hip hop and wish I went out dancing more often (ie more than once a decade).
16. I have had a crush on Sting for over twenty years.
17. I like children way more than adults (I think most adults are one or all of the following: incompetent, dumb, selfish, mean).
18.**Bonus one** I have six younger siblings but no nephews/nieces yet :(
19. I love recycling items, I am the queen of hand me downs.
20. My torso is too long for my legs and my feet are too big for my body.
21. I've run three marathons and I am still trying to figure out if it is criminal/psychotic to run a fourth.
22. If I were born again I would be a big black man and intimidate people who litter and yell at their children and hit them on the train.
23. I am Jew-ish, agnostic, married to an ex-Catholic atheist and work at a religious school (Episcopalian) (yes, my children will be confused and sans religion).
24. I could live on bread, butter, and cheese.
25. Exercise makes me happy. Indolence makes me violent.

Morning Chatter

J (to me)-You smell bad
M- I think he means your breath
Me- I brushed my teeth
J- No, your shoulder smells bad
___

M (recounting her dream)
We were in a museum and the artist made a genie come out of his painting. The genie tried to tickle me and then he wanted to take the words of out of my brain so I could not talk but I got away and got on the bus.
__
Last night (M now likes to quote from movies, the latter part of this is apparently from Ice Age)

Do you know why I speak English so well? Because I was born in this hole and I am going to die in this hole.

Run Mamma Run!

Just when you thought, or I thought that there was only so much you could fit in a day...
I kicked off the day by forgetting to wake up. Of course my spouse overslept as well and my midgets decided that a Thursday (why do a weekend when we can actually "sleep in" aka wake up past 6:45 am?) was a good day to not wake up as well. Okay so I am frazzled and did not have time to go to the bathroom (hence the sleep all over my face) as I scrambled to grab bags, backpack, snacks, leave money for our twice monthly (bless her!) cleaning genius. F pulls up on Broadway by the farmers' market where we get scolded twice despite him saying "i am just dropping off"- those farmer ladies mean business. We bought three beautiful bouquets for M's teacher in the hopes that she will have a nice day if she butters them up:) J melts down at drop off because his beloved teacher is out (her daughter is sick) but I shove him in anyway because now that I have dropped off the 4 bags of crap I had in my room I NEED to run out to get coffee. Weird words with colleague before my first period class. Teach. Run down to chapel. Power Point on Truck or Treat to the little kids. This is a great project (like the UNICEF boxes we had as kids). I have a free hour (hence my blogging presence) as I anxiously wait for a woman to call me back to determine the day care fate of the unborn twins. Shit. She is not calling me in this slender window before Nursery Spanish (yeah! Get to see J in this class). Will have to cab it to Mt. Sinai for a cervix check (my 300th, we just want to make sure sure that the twins are not falling out, that there are no potential law suits brewing etc) and then back to school for three more classes, followed by sprint to church to pick up farm share (aka 30 lbs of organic delicious vegetables that I worry about eating in 48 hours before they rot), followed by a mini meeting to discuss my maternity sub, a medium meeting to discuss diversity at school and a major meeting (dreaded Thursday full faculty). MoJo will be yogaing and afterschooling it up until I grab them and hopefully an M4 (otherwise cab again- CRAP- hate to waste my monthly) to get home and prep them... before 7pm when the lovely Y. comes over to babysit and F. and I go to the Met to see Rigoletto. I really hope it is a slamming opera otherwise it seems unlikely that I will survive the 3 hours. Anyway, that is me. What are you up to today? I am at 21 weeks (17 more to go max) in this pregnancy and I feel great. No complaints. I might be addicted to being busy.

Batman to Aladdin

Here is some dialogue from the game J is playing
"I know you're tired and I know you are frustrated. So calm down. It is not your fault. I am frustrated too."
Such polite action figures.

"Hey, Are You FAT?"

That is how I started my first period class with JK this morning. This was right after this little boy had laid a lethal fart and celebrated its persistence until I told him to please just say "excuse me" and move on. Sometimes I am just not in the mood for bathroom humor.

Swimming Mania?

Yesterday we had our second swim lesson at Teacher's College- a vast improvement over Barnard, where we had been going for a few years. M is practically Esther Williams. I was in awe watching her with the one other girl in her class (who looks like she is in the wrong level to me- way advanced) as she did the back stroke ( I cannot do that!), the breast stroke and the crawl back and forth, back and forth across the length of the pool. Never mind that she had never done many of these skills (when the instructor told her to dive in she just belly flopped with her arms in the dive position, emulating the other girl), M was a trooper. Mr. Happy Extra-curricular activities, a.k.a J. screamed in terror literally, every time his smiling instructor came to get him in the water. J looks petrified and traumatized. We are not sure why since he loved swimming all summer long. Maybe it is because his parents are not in the pool, maybe he is having swimmer's block, but surely he is having a bad time, which makes me feel guilty (F. seems more frustrated than I do) about the double weekend torture we have set up for him through the fall. It is hard to know how much to pull and push, what is natural resistance and what is forced parental desire. His instructor smiles and insists that J. will love swimming soon. I am not sure he knows who he is dealing with. My children are a rare breed of tenacious stubborn (hmm where does that come from?) and "no way" usually means just that. Let's not forget that J was the first kid in BT history to conscientiously object to and therefore not participate in graduation. He told me he would not do it (the performance involved dancing around to the Beatles, so nothing short of what he LOVES) and he made sure to do less and less every rehearsal until they deemed him unfit to perform. J just shot the audience dirty looks while his friends frolicked to the Beatles. On the upside, as soon as these torturous episodes are over J is ecstatic and seems unscathed. After swimming yesterday, J did a mini wave goodbye to his instructor (his aquatic nemesis) and almost smiled. There is a glimmer of hope that we will see some joy on his face on a weekend morning soon!

School Work Pride

"My name is M and I am in Senior Kindergarten. One of the best parts about me is (fill in the blank) my mom is having two babies."

Twin Anxiety

I do not know why I thought it would be a good idea to watch some birth videos (vaginal twin) online yesterday. Bad idea. None of them looked anything like what I remember labor to be like. The worst part was watching a C- section, which I do not think I had ever seen before. The slicing of the belly, like a huge piece of meat, through the skin, fat layers, and muscle was disgusting. Not just gross, but I know about surgery and recovery and I would be SCREWED if I had to recover from surgery on top of caring for newborn twins alone all day. How the hell would I nurse them? You can study the pictures above and tell me if you think any of them look realistic to carry out with no assistance. What if my nose itches? I also just read that the only way to stay sane and to sleep and to teach twins to sleep is to WAKE ONE UP!!! in the middle of the night if the other one wakes up. If you have ever been sleep deprived, nursed during the night, you can imagine how counterintuitive this tidbit of twin wisdom is. Double the torture to keep them on schedule? I get the rationale but I will cringe when I do this. My final anxiety provoking thought yesterday was "What if F and I die (in the rare instance that we go somewhere alone)?" We never made a will (tsk tsk bad parents I know) because we could not agree with guardians for MoJo. It seemed hard to find the right person/family that would want two extra kids and that we would want to raise them. Four? Who can do four? Who knows four? Four are the matriarchs three are the matriarchs, two are the tablets of the commandments.. Okay I digress. Anyway, sorry this is not such a peppy post (see A? Not so positive all of the time!) but I do have some legitimate concerns no?

Dinner Comment

Upon looking at the fish on her plate for dinner..
M "I think it would be more polite to not kill the animals with a gun or a knife and wait until they die before we get them to eat them."
Agreed!

John Lemon: Happy Birthday!

My son is OBSESSED with the Beatles (John Lemon, Bingo Starr, Paul, and George) and John in particular. Upon seeing the Google home page celebrating John's 70th birthday he got very upset. His questions:
Why is he dead?
Can you touch him or is there glass around him?
Is the man who killed him in jail?
Why did he kill him?
Did he use a gun?
J was so distressed that I had to change the subject. We watched lots of youtube videos, some had Julian and Sean in them and he wanted to know
Who took care of Julian when his papi died?
Poor J, his hero dead.
Thank you for the best music ever.
We love you and miss you John. Happy 70th!
xooxxox J & Co.

One and the Same

I am currently reading this book, by Abigail Pogrebin and it is fascinating. The more I read about identical twins the stranger they seem to me. I have to hope that I had two eggs drop and not one split for the sake of the unborn twins's sanity. Being an identical is one person stuck in two bodies. Beyond strange. The innate need to be with the identical twin, compete with and soothe him/her is crazy and identical twins tend to just dedicate themselves to themselves with many many never marrying, having close friends, or marrying only someone who accepts that he/she is marrying both. WEIRD. There is a lot of information about fraternal twins in this interesting book about "everyone's struggle to be singular" and I find it particularly useful to hear from adult twins so as to know how to avoid certain pitfalls. I recommend this read to anyone whose curiosity is piqued by this strange human phenomenon. In Pogrebin's book I learned that twin births have increased 70% since 1980 and between 1980-1995 triplets increased by 500%. To my relief most of the complications associated with multiple births stem from those conceived with help. Like I said before, do not mess with nature my friends, there are over three million IVF children in the world today. Scary.

More Funny Kid Quotations

After a student asked (in Spanish) how old I was, I replied the truth, 34 and A. (7 years old) commented "You are very big for 34." When I tried to inquire what she meant she told me I was also old looking for 34 because of my grey hair. It's refreshing that children have no filter and speak their mind. A. then asked a classmate "Did she have to get married two times to have twins?" I like this comment because my daughter and son also think that getting married means having sex and my son often inquires where the pictures are of my wedding when he was born. Today J asked me "Did papi take his tools to Chicago (current trip)?" I said no (a mantra in our house is "papi will fix it") and he asked "How does he make the (espresso) machines at work without tools?" I love that he had an image of F. at a worktable making high end Italian appliances- makes sense- tangible- literal- precious.
PS Just got back from lunch where a child asked me "Is your hair black and white for Halloween?" These kids are very in touch with my lack of hair coloring this week. I may just have to get some Loreal so we can change the subject!

Community Service- I Recommend It!

There is nothing quite like it. The warm and useful feeling you get when you help others or help kids to help others.. I love it. The Spanish teaching part of my job is fun but obviously quite repetitive. The community service part is always a treat. Besides organizing school wide drives etc., I get to try to inculcate little kids with a sense of service and the privilege of being in a position to do so. We just had a school wide drive for OIC and watching my fourth graders assemble dozens of school supply kits for children in Iraq and Afghanistan is just too sweet. How the hell will I ship 1000 lbs of supplies to the Kansas warehouse for overseas shipment is a whole other logistical nightmare.
On another note, I got to go back to Street Squash yesterday for some tutoring. The kids there are great. Most of them are screwed, stuck in crap Harlem schools (that many of them travel to from other boroughs because they are actually better than the ones in their neighborhoods!), live with fractured families, have no role models.... but they all drag their butts to Street Squash 2, 3 and even 4 times a week because some adult in their lives convinced them that education is the way out. I wish I had more time to dedicate to them. If you live in New York City and have even 2 hours a month to tutor (any day of the week but Sun), be a mentor, or help a senior with his/her college applications, contact them! I promise you the rewarding feeling will last longer than eating a delicious piece of cheese or chocolate or sex or yoga or whatever else makes you feel good:)

Shout Out to the Males in My Life

First and foremost to F for his unwavering patience, love and devotion no matter how hard I kick him with charlie horses in the night, how much I complain, whine, boss, bitch, grump, splash water all over the kitchen and bathroom (his pet peeve) etc (Life with me ain't no picnic)
To my brother for his support and dragging my ass to the gym
To my other brother for taking care of MoJo and losing my library card:)
To my father for always reading my blogs, always admiring me, always visiting us
To my stepfather (what a lame term) for his endless enthusiasm for MoJo and for Sunday soccer
To my son for being damn cute and funny and quite well behaved recently
To my physical therapist for helping me stay back pain free for many many months and making me do my annoying core exercises every day
To my surgeon for opening me up twice and fixing me twice and encouraging me to keep exercising, having children, and acting normal even though I am not
Grazie Gracias Danke Merci

Life is One Big Negotiation

That's what is seems like at this point. I am either negotiating a price, a discount, a tutoring time, how many minutes before bath, how many books before bed, candy in exchange for getting in the pool. Negotiating leaves room for compromise and change I guess. In each negotiation and choice something is gained and lost (obvious comment I suppose). Do I choose what is best or most lucrative (i.e. volunteer tutor in Harlem or do conversation with a wealthy UES woman for beaucoup bucks?), what I want to do (see movies, go to the gym, run around like a maniac) or what I should do (breathe, take it easy blah blah blah). Taking it easy is for wimps. Not for me. I have few months before as M. says "our life is going to be really crazy with four kids." Soon I have less flexibility and fewer choices, so for now I will advocate for myself against the grain and do as much of whatever I feel like doing for whatever reasons I fancy and not worry too much about what people think. Just thinking out loud here.

Sonogram Telegram

I had a full anatomical sonogram for twins A & B (aka Phoebe & Kiwi) on Friday afternoon and it was looong. The technician needed a picture of every single body part (think left heart ventricle, right ankle, eye sockets etc. ) for each twin. I feel like being pregnant, this time around, is like a part time job. This sonogram, however, made the twins realer than they have been. One twin gave distinctly gave me the middle finger, and another (or maybe the same one) gave lots of thumbs up. When the technician pressed down on my belly with the slimy wand, I could feel a baby kicking back from the inside, as if to say "get off of me already." It is insane to to process that with all of their intricate body parts (fingers, organs, facial features!) the twins weigh 10 and 11oz. A little over half a pound. Nature is truly amazing. When I think about having four legs, four arms, two hearts, a penis (or two), a vagina (or two), two hearts, two brains, all floating comfortably in my belly, I cannot help but smile.

PS This is not, as you can see my sonogram. It is someone else's at 19 weeks. I do not have a scanner nor do I feel like this is the sort of thing to put online. The picture is for demonstrative purposes only.

Things Kids Said to me this week

- "Is this the pregnant school?"
- "You are getting a lot more white hair."
-"I am peeing on you" followed by "I am pooping on you" (as these actions were simulated)
-"You are going to be a great mom."
-"Getting those babies out is going to hurt."
-"You look like Ms. H (my boss who is blonde, looks nothing like me, but is about to give birth)."
-"Where did you get your "cawfee?" When I asked where his accent was from, another 4 year old commented "that accent is rough!"
-Regarding a stain on my skirt "Is that egg?" another child "I think it is bird poop" - I actually do not know what it is.