J The Delinquent

As I was talking to M two minutes ago, I felt I had plumber's butt and then it felt wet and J was laughing- he licked my butt!

When J asked me for cough drops today and I said no, he responded: Give them to me and don't mess with me!

A few days ago I asked him to do something and he said: I won't, have fun with that!

Who is this child and when will he be taken to JK jail?

Adiós 2011 Hello 2012

Happy new year to all! Stay tuned for more posts soon.

J The Family Tree Master

J-Do we know any people who are married with no kids?
Me- Yes (I give some examples).
J- What about abuela S?
Me- She has kids but they are grown up.
J- Where are they?
Me- Well, I am one of them.
J- (laughs). No, really, who are they?

Feliz Cumple Madre

aunque no leas nunca este blog..te deseo un muy feliz cumple. 65! Officially half priced para casi todo. Te felicito. Un beso grande.

J Lost a Tooth!

And he is not even five yet. He noticed it loose when he was eating an apple and then remained concerned about when it would fall out. He asked a few people "do you want to wait with me on the couch until it falls out?" After a two hour nap (weird) he had a piece of candy and out it came- a tiny tooth, a vestige of his babyhood. J dictated this note to the tooth fairy:

Dear Tooth Fairy,
Can I have money and candy? I hope you a good new year. Please don't take my tooth. J

J Last Night

Before there was water what did people do with glasses after they used them? Did they throw them out or recycle them?
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J after makng a concoction of melted candy: I am like on Chopped, I am a chef, I do not try the food, just make it.

M The Fairy

Her great grandmother got her a fairy outfit with a wand and she proceeded to turn all of us into...
Me- a duchess
F- a chef
tío D- a beetle
tío G- a baseball player
Grandpa- a rotten egg and then a rock
tía C- a princess
E- a frog
A- a swan
V- a prince
abuela I - a basket of flowers
abuela S- a queen

Feliz Navidad

Me- Is it possible you pooped again?
M- With babies anything is possible!

We are about to sit down to Christmas dinner. All 11 of us (2 babies are asleep). We spent the majority of the day scrambling for last minute gifts and in the car. I look forward to doing nothing tomorrow. M is in her room putting on make up from her make up suitcase. F and J are playing some video game that involves movement, and I am recovering from a dance game during which I almost died. I also discovered that M dances like there is no tomorrow- she danced off against almost everyone in the family- non stop talent. Babies have been divine- calm and collaborative- off to dinner. I hope to film blog tomorrow. Felices Fiestas yo!

Vermont

You know those bus/vans that take tourists to the airport? Well, we got one of those suckers for our trip up to Vt. It was not intentional but they ran out of mini-vans. Why do mini when you can do mega? So we loaded the white truck with children and bags just like a good orthodox family and six hours later.. we got to Vt. There are lots of people here and we are not all even here yet. The uncles will be arriving later today and the mother in law is not coming this year. The house is old and awkward, I mean charming and delightful. Babies slept in separate pack and plays and went almost all night long. MoJo has their own room and fight non-stop. When we droev up there was zero snow on the ground and this morning everything is white and it is snowing as I write. There is no cell phone service but there is internet. There is coffee but no sugar. Okay, you get the picture. My goals of sleeping, blogging, reading, doing PT, walking in the snow...I realize these are ambitious. I will most likely do 10%, but I will take it.

36 Amore!

Happy Birthday to my partner in crime. Almost 16 years after getting together in Roma I can say "te llevo en el alma y cada día te quiero más!
J wrote ih his father's bday card:
Dear Papá,
I hope you like a card. It's your birthday so we gave you a birthday card so you can have a fun birthday. Happy Christmas and new year for the holiday past. I hope you have a good day when you go to Vermont and I hope we behave good. I have a surprise for you in Vt and it starts with a "t" (he is adamant about buying his father a tie). I wish you get some gold to pay for my robot.
I had to cut him off there because there was no moe room on the card. J signed the first three letter of his name and then M added the last ones in parentheses.

Manic Monday

After a late start to BT, I spent too long chatting, packing a donation at school. I learned the hard way that you cannot drink coffee and eat a bagel while in a cab late (ugh- had an unlimited too!) on the phone. Doctor did not tell me anything I did not know. Bussed it home to lunch with A (we miss you already!) and walked her up to the M60. Trained it to 34 St to discover, after meeting D, that the Toys R Us there (yes, I am a dumb ass heading to midtown a few days shy of xmas), that that TRU is a tiny useless store. So, we did what we had to do and went further into hell by going to the TRU in Times Square. After some success, we split up and I schlepped the booty home, hid it, pumped, and went to pick MoJo up. J was sleeping. Winter camp was a hit. Took midgets to see my kids at Street Squash and then came home for the usual rigamarole. Not exactly relaxing but somewhat efficient. Tomorrow is another day.

Today's Lines

M on the actress from the Goonies- Looks like  (abuela) I, with a little more attitude.
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                                                                J- I need to poop now.

F- We are on our block, you can go at home.
J- I can just go in that garbage can.
__
M to J after declaring her "privilege" of chewing gum- I already had my lifetime of upa  (being carried). Now you can enjoy that and I can enjoy gum.

Updated Santa Letters

Just in case the first ones were not enough.
M came home with a large illustrated scroll- like list on which she wrote:

MEDF Wish List- alphabetical order:
18 amarican girl dolls
bowling aisle (plus 18 bowling balls)
car and licenses (when i asked about this one she said she was ok with not knowing how to drive and crashing but she just did not want to get tickets)
ecessories for hair
80 days worth of candy (in jar)
monster high doll

J:
Dear Santa,
For Christmas can I also get a robot that is R2D2 with a code that gives you whatever you want? And  I will tell you if your elves did a good job or a bad job. Have a good summer. I hope you have a summer. I hope your elves get some light to see in the room. I'll build a structure that they can go in while they are waiting that will have a flashlight for your elves.

Today's Banter

Me- How was the nutcracker?
M- It was terrifingly long.
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J to M- Do you want to play prove or hurt?
M- He means truth or dare.
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J- I do not like Freddy Mercury.
F- Why?
J -He smells.
F- How do you know?
J- I can smell it from the computer.

Pageant Day

While tableau style productions and the birth of Jesus ar not my thing, I do have a soft spot for my school's annual pageant, featuring over 300 children (two shows). M is a shepherd for her second and final year and J is a lamb for his second and final year. Traditions are wonderful and in 2.5 hours the 2011 portion of this school year will be over. Amen.
PS Not sure if I should be offended that my 3rd and 4th babies were not chosen to be baby Jesus. We have a younger, but much larger (think 30 lbs) Jesus instead.

MoJo Recent Comments

We were talking about our dentist and I told MoJo that abuela S does not like him (she had an incident with him from which she concluded that she hated him).
M- Dr. K is so nice.
J- Why don't we film him doing nice things so she can see that he is nice?
Me- That will not work He gave her medicine that hurt her stomach and she does not like him.
M- He is not a stomachist, he is a dentist.
____
J when I would not let him have candy but offered chocolate for dessert- All I worked for was chocolate? Really? I ate my dinner for nothing.
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While fighting over a play date that J is going to have with a girl...
M- If they are going to disclude me I will not let them play with my toys. I am going to supervise you  from my bed (top bunk)
___
M tasted my coffee this am and said it was "delicious and healthy." J said (without trying it): Dirty dump! I call out the routines! (huh?)
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As they ran down the hill to school (I brought them instead of F): Freedom from papi's rule!
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M: Can I bring my make-up bag to Vermont?
Me: Yes.
M: Oh good, so I can give myself a make over in the car.
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M on her magnatile structure: It is an animal motel with bathrooms and a wheelchair ramp for the raccoon.
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M: I am having a rough day. I  am trying hard to be nice but it is hard.

Lunch Break

In one hour and 20 minutes I went from school to a despicable store on 49th and 5th avenue!!! to buy M's special xmas gift, up tp Tiemann to drop it off/fix tv for abuela I and back to school. Talk about kicking back at lunch. Last frenetic week before my much awaited three day break (mon dec 19-wed dec 21) senza bambini! Goal for then: gym, renew wardrobe, go to a museum, a movie, take a nap?! Off to teach my last period class and then tutor squared.

Am Banter

M to J-Do you want to be a spy? I am one so I can teach you.
Me- How do you know to be a spy?
M- G (her friend) taught me and her master taught her but he was a traitor so she lost some powers.

M to J - Remember what papi said about her birthday present? (to listen to me)
J- To listen to her? Well her birthday present is not going to come true.

Indian Wedding

Last night's event, complete with tía S and F trying to dress me at home (came out okay I think- former Pakistani Prime Minister Musharraf complimented my sari:)) followed by two Pakistani women re-wrapping me in the bathroom of the Crest Hollow Country Club...unforgettable. Have not danced with F since our wedding. Actually we did not even dance that much at our wedding. The dresses were all so beautiful, so many traditions and so much champagne. What do you get a woman with everything on her 36th birthday? An Indian/Pakistani wedding:)

Good bye 35!

11 minutes left to be this age.driving back from Indian wedding. It has been quite a year. 36 here I come. Ouch, now I am closer to forty than thirty.

BT Notes

Bt has a great system of writing notes about your children on an almost daily basis. These notes are written in a notebook that can go home (for the parents, or in this case me to write in) or stay at BT. These notes are entertaining, informative, and just delightful. Here is an example from A's 12/7 entry by Z:

Today in the teacher's lounge A was on a mission to get a spoon out of V's hand. I tried giving her a spoon of her own but that was not good enough, she wanted V's. Crazy enough, every time she succeeded, she was able to overpower V and snatch it our of his hand. V would let out a big scream at an attempt to snatch  it back but he could never get it out of her hand. When I would give V a different spoon he would be happy but then A would just drop the one in her hand and go for his. Siblings are CRAZY!


V's from the same day, also by Z:

Every time we go to the back lounge the first thing V looks for is the pretend plastic play spoon. He crawls around the entire area until he finds it and then once he finds it he puts it straight into his mouth. He spends the whole time in the lounge with the spoon either in his mouth or his hand. He uses it to suck on or bang on everything he can. The one thing he really likes to bang on with it is the piano. But every time he tries to use it to hit the piano I take it away and tell him to use his hand. He gets so upset when I take it away but not not even close to as upset when A takes it away.

Done

with all reports
all but one tutoring session
many gifts but many to go
relief! It is the weekend.
Woo hoo!

10 Months!

Crazy but true.
A has a push toy that she sprints across the living room with. If she falls she keeps pushing while on her knees. When V gets in her way to play with the front of the toy, she tries to run him down.
V can sit (woo hoo) although he still prefers the GI Joe crawl or the lying on his side like he is a bathing beauty position.
When side by side with chupetes in they like to take them out of each other's mouths and even did a switcharoo the other day.
My oh my, these babies are leaving babyhood behind. Only 2 more months, as in sixty days, of pumping. I might just burn that machine.

AAAHHHH

almost done with reports
got mini extension
worked every free minute but could not finish
saw part of J's last karate class after school
very cute in his uniform
trekked to UES in the rain to tutor
trekked further east and south to attend a panel discussion on diversity and community service
bla bla bla
cabbed home
pumped
shoved food in my mouth
missed kids
F not home still (work party)
off to bed
more news domani

Some MoJo Ideas

M to J about V- You are going to give him a bad in-flew-ence (stress on flew)
J- I do not even know what that means.
___

J- For Christmas I want a small safe that I can lock and then a big one that I can go into.
Me- We cannot get a safe that big.
J- No, not that big. Just big enough for the babies so we can put them in the safe.
Me- Put babies in the safe?
J- Yes, but with holes to breathe and robot hands that change their diapers while they are in there.

Countdown

Only 9 school days left. So many projects and reports to finish. Holiday parties to attend, gifts to buy, people to pay. When will there be a moment for air? Dec 19-21 MoJo will attend holiday camp while babies remain at BT and I will be wild and go see an exhibit or a movie and be alone (or with friends) for three days before the Vermont madness. I cannot wait. For now I am going to pump, go to the bank, enter report edits, teach second grade at 2:15, tutor at 3, run home, to Street Squash and then home.

Happy Birthday E!

I am late but it is still your birthday. Sorry for the delay. So nice to see you last week. I am enjoying your daily pictures. If anyone else wants to you can go to: http://eepsteinnn.tumblr.com/ for some real treats. Uh oh. You must be 16 because I am almost 36. Que los cumplas feliz. TQM!

MoJo Chatter

J to me- Are you going to die before us?
Me- Yes.
J- Will we know?
Me- Yes. I will be sick or very old so you will know.It will not be a surprise.
J- Oh, I will be sad.
M- Or someone can kill you. That would be a surprise too. Not like a good one.
___
J to me (he does not believe that I work); When you get a job can I go with your job? I just want to go with you.
_____
J to M (whispering his secret)- I am in love with girls.
M- Who?
J- With you.
___
M as every channel I flipped to had preachers this am- What is it Jesus's birthday already?
--
J- When I am injury can I have a stroller?
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J to me, again re my job- You do not do anything, you are you.
--
J looking onto the horizon- I see the river in the future.
--
J- When I am rich and famous...what is famous?
Me- When everyone knows who you are because of your talent.
J. Oh. When I am rich and famous, I will have a butler.
__
J on the toilet- It is like fighting lava.
J as he tried harder to poop- If you do not push it out, it will slash you.

Sunday Peaceful Sunday

This past week was very long and arduous. I had to write the first draft of ALL of my reports (grades nursery through third grade) and prepare for a BT benefit on Sat night that sucked the life out of me. Today was a regular park, tutoring, hanging out day. The only annoying part of the day was that I went to bed at midnight and woke up at 4:30am! After an hour of tossing and turning I got up. So I am wiped. Stay tuned for some MoJo lines.

10 Seconds of Blogging

is all I got in me.
Phase I of reports done.
Wine & Cheese tomorrow. Need to do shopping and cook and go set up for it.
Bed, here I come.
Exhausted.

Decembrrrrrr

It sure is cold. How did it get to be December? How many times am I going to mention how fast time is flying by? I have many posts in mind but I am currently drowning in report writing and wine & cheese planning soon to be overtaken by exams/tutoring season. Let the classes floweth for I need the moolah to pay/thank/gift the plethora of people who make up our team of priceless teachers, helpers, family. Holiday shopping is so far away in my mind but the holidays are almost here. Looking forward to Vermont. To movies. To snow. I am done procrastinating, back to reports!