Last Lines of 2013

J: Can you adopt a wife?

V: The ocean is finished!

V: I like to touch my penis.
Me: Why?
V: I want to touch all of it.

A to J: Don't say midget to me, I say midget to you!

M to F: You are not the boss, you are not Mr. Moleskine

A has been trying to use her new doll's chupete. I explained to her that it is not a real one and that she is too big: Well, my baby does not need it. She is not crying.

V as I put a dress on A: Can I have a dress?
Me: Boys do not usually wear dresses.
V: Can I have a blue dress?

M: I am going to read while I walk. I can do it. I have the genes.

J was dying to go to the bathroom at the MOMA today. We walked through a shit bubble (honestly who farts like that in a crowded Magritte exhibit?) as we exited and J assured us: I am holding mine.

When V looked like was pooping in the car, I asked him if he had (hiciste caca?). V said: I am making farts.

M to me: I spoke to papi and he said this was okay but I wanted to check with you.
Me: Okay.
M: When I am 18, can I have an 11:30pm bedtime?
Me: Sure.
M, elated: Will it be gradual or will I like wake up when I am 18 and have a bedtime that went from 8 to 11:30pm.
Me: Gradual. Honestly when you are 18, I will not be able to tell you what time to go to bed. I will have bigger fish to fry.
M: Like if I can go to a movie with my boyfriend?

M to F: Your ipod is totally ignorant.