One and One

Sorry for the radio silence. Here are some lines from the last few days...

A: When I was born I used to play the piano and all of the kids said "yay" and I got a Hello Kitty Flower (J got one after his recital last week).

V, in response: When I got older, I got a car flower when I played the piano.

J when I asked him why he does not pass the ball to M in basketball: She is like a carpet.
Me: What?
J: She lets everyone walk all over her (nice sexist player in the making).

A dick father whose son I tutored recently as he wrote me a check: Should I make it out to cash or to you?
Me: To me is fine.
Dick: I do not even know who you are. What's your name? (I tutored his older son a few years ago. Nice!)

V: Did you see the fashion of my robot?
A: Your robot does not have any fashio.
V, crying: Yes. HE DOES. My robot does have fashion.

J on M: She has one patience, and it always breaks.

J when I asked him what was in his (lost) gym bag: My blazer, my tie, my gym uniform.
Me: Not your (new) sneakers right?
J: One and one.
Me: What?
J: I had one old sneaker and one new sneaker in there.

Fabulous! Hope he enjoys that fashion for the rest of the year!

Random Lines

V: La luna is the daughter of the sun, which is trying to shine through.

J, as I was breaking down my day to F: You teach?

J, in my bed, feigning sleep, when I said he should sleep in his own bed: I will pretend I did not hear that.

V ran into the bathroom while F pooped and said: I came to smell your delicious smells!

J The Lazy Teenager

It is very hard to get this boy out of bed! He is like a hung over teenager (and he sleeps like 11.5 hours). A gets dressed on her own before he even brushes his teeth!

J: I am not going to school! I am going to make my own weekend. And it ends next Wednesday.

V The Sweetheart

Recently V has begun a new (cute) trend. If he sees me getting flustered or irritated, he runs up to me and says something random like:

Happy Mother's Day! or You don't know you're beautiful (One Direction Song) or I love you too much!

For My Eager Fan- Just One Line

J to me: I do not know if you know this, since you do not believe in G-d, but what is his real name?
Me: Well, different religions have different names for G-d.
J: What about in my religion?
Me: What is your religion?
J: I do not know.
(Good job parents)