Half Normal Half Scrambled

That is how V described his poop to me yesterday. I think it is a good metaphor for all that is going on right now. We have been battling a violent stomach bug (clean up in aisle 4!) with the girls/woman and baby coming out on top (ie  F, V and J were melting in cha cha cha). After some missed work/school I hope we are back on track. This past weekend was literally full of shit. Not only diarrhea in toilets and all over L's house (that was a very bad decision on my part to let V go for a sleepover), but a bird shat on my arm (gross) and I burned my finger in the most disgusting way possible (this picture does not do the blister justice). All this coupled with a ticket for losing a license plate (doh!) and the start of my first class in almost two !! decades... makes for an interesting week. Last night was an intro. Let's see what tonight's 2.75 lecture brings!!.

A & V on F

V- He is going to have cute kids!

A- He looks so soft and cute when he is tired.

Inventive Spelling by V

May Musings

A- We should get a cleaner for F's poops.

A, describing her imaginary game- a store then a classroom then- It's an adoptage pre-k. They say sleep here and yeah.

V- We are learning about the human body in science. We get to use potty words. Do you know that pee comes out of your anus?

When I tried to explain some of the pros and cons of communism versus capitalism I said: In Cuba, everyone knows how to read. V: Wait, Cuban babies can read?
Me: No, not babies.
V: You said everyone!

J looking at an ad in the subway- What are tampoons?

A when I asked her if she put GUM on the piano- I pacifically told M not to tell you about that.

J when I scolded them about something- When you choose to have five kids, that's how it goes!

V at bedtime to me- I love you more than anything rises.
Me- Rises?
V- More than the moon rises.

A on overpriced flowers on Mother's Day-- I know they they charge so much for the flowers, so they can buy stuff for their moms.

V- Do you know we are apes?

A wearing a brain cap she made in science- We all look Jewish!

Stray Lines

V- A, you are not a well-behaved kid but you are very curious and smart.

Me- What did the doctor say?
V- That I had crepes.
Me- Crepes?
V- Crebs, Crabs.
Me- Cramps??

V- Flab is kind of good. When a bee stings you it does not go through all of your layers.

V- Cats  have no purpose in nature. Bees do not sting me because I do not disturve nature.

V- Why don't people help UNICEF? They are still poor-ly

1 Añito

So you turned one more than a week ago. Too late for happy birthday but not too late to tell you that you have literally brought nothing but joy and smiles into all of our lives. You make everyone you meet happy with your fat cheeks and bald head. Your favorite hobbies include standing on the windowsill to spot people coming over and then banging on the window, climbing up the stairs (yikes!) and eating. We asked several family members to write you a letter for on this occasion to be read by you at 18 years old. I think/hope this will be a valuable gift to you in the future and that we are around to enjoy it. Fefe campeón, we truly adore you. XO your tribe