Recent Lines

A to tia E- You are older and you can have gum and candy and make up.

J to abuelo- You are the best grandfather in the world but don't tell I (grandpa) or he will kill me.

M re not attending a sleepover at tio G's- I do not think he wants to take care of two fighting children so I rather not go. Do you think he will take it personally?

A to V- You a baby and I am a grown up.

Me to V: Are you a twin?
V: No.
Me to A: Are you a twin?
A: No, I just share with V.

Crazy Duo

Yesterday's highlights included AleVit trying on everything they could at H&M and melting down when I would not buy the Hello Kitty umbrella, hat, and purse. Part two involved them getting into the elevator and the door closing (M was distracted) as I listened in horror to them crying and laughing. My neighbor went up, M went down, and I stayed on two, where, when the door opened, the elevator, to my horror was empty. WTF? M found them in a lobby. A couple more minutes and they would have been walking to Dunkin Donuts! A and V got into a huge physical smack down yesterday as well. I had to carry A after V ripped out a CLUMP of her hair (he was holding it in his hand very non-chalantly) and they began to slap each other across the face! The best part for all was AleVit fawning over baby M. They look HUGE next to her. A ran to get her a noni and pete when she cried and both tried to stroke her head all the time. V noted "I am big. My hands are so big and my nails are big" as he sat by her. When I remarked how blond he was to M. he said "I am a blondie. You have blue hair." We have some new funny neologisms: Cockcorn (popcorn), humprella (umbrella) , caramali (that is J's word for calamari).

Kid Honesty

Me after coloring my hair: How does my hair look?

M: Fake.

J: It looks the same but better. You look younger.

A after I tooted: Say excuse me.

Me: Excuse me.

A: Thank you.

On A Roll

We (MoJo et moi) have been non-stop erranding since yesterday.
Yesterday: BT-dentist for ortho referral-gyno (east)-home-haircut (buzz- J)-ortho visit (way uptown)- piano lesson (UWS)- bank/fro-yo etc-back to Harlem to pay barber, print pics art CVS and then the evening with all 4 solo.
Today: School for errands, Book Culture, Church to drop off megabags-Pinkberry-Old Navy/H& M (have to return most of what I bought) and then home for piano and an afternoon of library & park with all 4 monkeys.
Potty training is going pretty well- A pooped yesterday! Stay tuned for the poop accident story.

Today's Thoughts

Me: Toddlers do not eat gum.
A: I am not a toddler. I am a nena.

J: When you kiss can you breathe?

Me: Si no te acostás me voy (if you do not lay down I am going to leave).
A: Ok. Leave.

J: Why are they naked in bed?
M: It's called having sex.
J: What is sex?

A when I accused her of something: I not. So be fine mamá.

Twodler Talk

V, pointing to doll: That is my baby
A: No
V, pushing it in the stroller: That baby came out of my belly.

V: One time I fell off a motorcycle.

or another favorite

V: One time I was up in the sky with a monster.

V Goes Diaperless

He loves underpants. He can pee on command. Not sure that he ever asks to pee. We used our first public bathroom (not counting bushes) today and he was out almost all day sans diaper. He did his first poop in the potty (he is grinning from ear to ear in the picture) but has not repeated the cool trick. I think he is trying not to poop in general. A no longer cares about princess underpants and is not into potty training at all with me (but is with L and at BT apparently). V told me he wants her "princess underpants." He wore a pair of J's underwear today and was proud. They speak like real people now. V likes the expression "one time" and told A she it was "gusting to poop in a diaper." A says "actually" and steals candy and gum and coffee and any other illicit substance while she tells you "I not eat it" or "Babies no comen candy" all the while doing the opposite. One of her favorite verboten items is toothpaste, even the "spicy" ones she likes.

Wrapping Up

This week has been looong. It began with our final installment of the stomach bug (nice to drag from one week to the next!) with poor M staying home on Monday. She called me no fewer than 8 times and  left me little notes all over the house. As sad as it is when your kids don't feel well, they sure get more docile and sweet. F was kind enough to have his illness abroad and A and I emerged as the only unscathed family members. Week 2 of July camp wraps up today. Little M is over a week old now and seems to be sleeping like a champ and learning to eat. I hear from my mother, who is over in PA, that all she does is sleep and eat (not sure what other skill she could show off at this point but my mother seems to think she could cry more or something) and that her parents are happy and relaxed. As much as tía C denies it, I feel an overwhelming sadness at this distance, never to be shortened, that now lies between us. When I had M we saw each other every day and had the luxury of seeing each other more than once a day if we wanted to. Tía C was and is such an integral part of her life, that I understood her jealousy when she said "now she has to take care of a baby and I will see her less." I will do my best to visit as I am sure they will but I will never be able to be a fraction of who she was to my children. With no other sibling remotely close to parenthood and no chances on F's side of the family, it just doesn't look like I am going to have the chance to be a super (present) tía.

Today's Crop

A to V: You are right, give me a high five (he does). Good job!

A, disrobing as she eats: I take this off so no se ensucia.

J upon seeing a completely covered Muslim woman: Is she a ninja? Can I wear that for Halloween?

J when I asked him if I should cut my hair: It could look kind of good, not worse than now. Do not get mad if you do not like it.

Banter

V to J at playground on vehicle: I am driving to Miami.
J: There is Miami up ahead!
V scoffs: That is not Miami, that is the playground!

V: Is gusting!

V: Don't touch my boo boo
A: I not. I kiss it (smooch)

BT teacher: You are going to fall off the chair and get hurt.
V: I want to fall off the chair and I want to get hurt.

A, appropriately: Oh Jesus! (where the f did she hear that?)

A, also as if she knew what she was saying: Facki facki facki! (I think I know where she heard that)

J when he learned I did not bring goggles: I wish you were smarter today and had packed goggles.

M, after being home all day sick: At least now I can see baby M when someone goes to Philadelphia.

V, obsessed with all vehicles: I drive the digger and you go in the backseat.

V and A to M and J: Guys, don't squeam in my ears!

J to me: I love you and everything that you do for me.

WELCOME BABY M!!

and then she was born. With great timing (labor started as we drove effortlessly, against all rhyme or reason) and many of her New York family here. She is a patriotic baby. She was born exactly one month before her mother's bday just like my first born and they share four letter names beginning with M and ending in A. Yay! I am an aunt. An aunt who lives far away. An aunt who brought a violent stomach bug with her and has been unable to spend an iota of time with bebé, but an aunt all the same. M is thrilled and overcame her jealous (her first welcome home sign read: Welcome Home Stupid Baby) fit to sink into a "I don't want to leave Philadelphia" one. I arrived at the birthing center an hour and a half after she was born (E's text "progressing slowly" was followed by "It's a girl!" less than an hour later). When F arrived with the brood I took them each in for a minute. J was shy, M was in love, A gave a her a suspicious look and V asked "What she doing?" When I explained nursing, he then stated "She come out of C's belly." He gets it. When I later asked him his cousin's name he chuckled: "Sea Sauce. Just Joking." Tía C was a real champ. All natural, super fast pushing, and in case she forgets, she told F that is was all unpleasant, that she would not do it again, and all sorts of other notions that you forget in order to promote the human species. So, we leave tomorrow am. I spent a total of five minutes with baby M, but enough to testify that she is very cute and small and has super long fingers (not from my side of the family). Congratulations to the new parents. May you sleep and enjoy this super fleeting phase!