Last 2014 Banter (all V- he has his own channel)

V after seeing F on tv: Was he smiling at me?

V after I told J i loved him (to me): But you love me more right?

V: Everyone's bones are the same.

Me to V: Why do you come to my bed every night?
V: You have love and I have a lot of love and I want to get your love.

V: Is A's dancing romantic? Mine is so romantic. Will I be  good dancer when I am a grown up?


V: What do nightmares look like?

V: If everything was jelly you could eat your house.

V: Do you need a suitcase of money for a car to buy because it does not fit in your wallet?

V: Does a doctor get sick?

V: When I am a grown up will I need toys?

V Vermont Thoughts

You eyes are attached to your ears.

As he got naked: I want to put my body on Buster (the dog). (The he did)

Is Santa a good cooker?

When you grow up you do not get to cry.

Pointing to his John Lennon shirt: Is this Michael Jackson?
Me: No. It is John Lennon.
V: He died of a shot. But we still have his music.

V: Am I  genius?
Me: Maybe. What is a genius?
V: People who don't do what they are supposed to do.
Me: A genius is someone who has great ideas.
V: Oh. Everyone is a genius.


Can teachers teach teachers?


My head is gigantic?

Listening to car in the music: Why is he sad? Who left him?
A: His girlfriend.

Looking at nonna: Do you have a car?
N.M: Yes. An old car.
V: Your car is old because you are old. Your teeth are old too. Are your bones old?

Oggi (a anche qualche giorno fa)

V: If you eat a lot of beans and laugh, you fart.

V looking at my bandage over the hernia repair repair: That boy who fixed it was an idiot.
Me: Who the first surgeon?
V: Yeah.

A after I called her a midget: I am not a midget. A midget is a small growm up.

J: Let's buy a lobster and free it. Buy it to save it!

J: I think I am going to edopt (yes with an e) one child and try to have one.

V: Are brains sticky?

V: Is there gravity in space? Can you skateboard there?

V: Do buses get gas in a big gas driveway?

V: If you run a bull will it run you?

V: Can babies go in jail?

V: Do I stay big once I am a growm up?

V: Guns make you crazy!

V: Brains make you talk and cry and move.

V: When I grow up and have no hair like papi I am going to eat junk!

Me to J: Did you smell your gym clothes?
J: Too dangerous.

V after peeing in park: Penis water makes the plants grow!

Tidbits (more to come)

V in my bed, sleepy this am: Did you see my dream?

Me to J (yelling): There is water all over the floor. Why are you splashing like this?
J: Are you being sarcastic? I mean there is not water everywhere. You are exaggerating.

V: Can I have some wine?
Me: No.
V: Why?
Me: Wine is not for kids.
M: Wine is for people who have kids.

V: What makes your tongue taste?
Me: Taste buds.
V: Taste bugs?

V: Before we eat the lobster let's put on his pjs and then we'll put him to sleep and then we'll eat him after he goes to school.

V: Skiing is tricky.

Midget Musings

J: I know what's going on! I  am growing. I am taller today than I was yesterday.

V: I think we need a new mother.
Me: Who's that going to be?
A: K! (our neighbor)

V looking down into the toilet: Oh, that's a lot of poop. Great!

V on another occasion on the toilet: Pee smells so bad sometimes.

V: When we were little, we were twins, I was A's and she was mine.

M as we watched a cop leave Dunkin Donuts: I wouldn't do that out in the open, there are too many jokes about cops and donuts.