Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Firsts and Lasts

Everything is now a first for little F. First subway rides yesterday. First bath tonight. It is bittersweet for while I know that we cannot procreate forever, I am fully aware that it is my last everything. I will never have a newborn again. F has made progress with sleeping at night. He does one long stretch (3-4 hours) and managed to stay in his bed (having him in ours is handy but makes me nervous) last night. I have the most relaxed days in a long time (accomplishments include things like a trip to CVS and washing the dishes) but they go by quickly. I feel like I have not been in school for months and it has been a week or so. I am lucky to have help so I can still go to school to pick kids up, take others to piano. I try to give most of them a slice of my undivided time every day. I am not sure if they will know this or feel this or just remember their childhood as a blur.

Some lines:

J: You smell like F. I can smell him from 5 feet away.

V: I want him to stay small. I am going to shrink him if he grows.

A: The only person I love is you and Mr. Nugget, Mr. F. He is so cute, cuter than me. I think he loves me.

V to F: Are you getting old papa? Your ears are looking old.

On a happy happy note, little J was born to tía C last night. Super fast labor and 8 days apart almost to the hour from little F. I hope and wish they can be close but the distance (which is not far) is daunting.

May I do my best to soak this all in. Firsts and lasts. So lucky to have one more turn.


4 comments:

  1. so happy at the simultaneous miracle of f and j !!!

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  2. probably more emotional over all of this than is normal. especially the part about you spending individual time with all of them. i think it's super important even if its not ingrained in their memory or even conscious in the moment! especially because its conscious and memorable for you. i want 1 on 1 time with you too! and them! can any of you squeeze me in? miss u

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  3. yes! i will always have time for you sista! we miss you! did i tell you that in mia every time v wanted h, he would scroll through names a? e? h? until he got to her? remember when m would purposely confuse you and a? pi-pis-pich? love jew

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  4. this made me cry. first and lasts are emotional
    can't wait for the little ones to have their first meeting. twin cousins!

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