Little Gestures

A's first real smile.
V's first real smile.
Their first conversations" - cooing and chirping.
J caressing V's face while the latter eats.
V massaging my back while he eats.
M asking to say good night to J on the phone while on her sleepover.
J telling me he misses his bff 20 times.
V punching A to get her away while he eats (not nice but a funny gesture).

Not Much

To report. Not inspired. Went for a nice 5 mile walk (complete with coffee and croissant pit stop) with my mother. Playground with F and 4 kids. Too much tv. Too much pizza. Tired. More inspiration soon I hope.  Both kids had great times on their sleepovers and want repeats. J misses his bff "a lot a lot a lot."A domani.

How Many Kids Is Too Many?

Today I was ambitious. I packed up AleVit and walked over to school (beautiful hot day). I tried to keep the babies away from the 1000 children who wanted to see them and touch them. I gathered the big children while I let some adults hold the little ones. I was less than thrilled that their teachers chose to send home every damn thing in their cubbies (yes, we will still need their sneakers at school in two weeks!). So I  had the stroller real real full of clothes and art and snacks and diapers. We walked down 15 blocks to BT all the while AleVit screamed at the top of their lungs. I was so thirsty and hungry that I was getting faint so I walked into Silver Moon and spent a small fortune on Chai and a croissant. But the chai was hot because in my mind I had said iced. And the croissant was not what I wanted. I could not have a hot drink in 70 degree weather and I could not put it in the cup holder on the stroller because it kept spilling all over (how the hell does that much liquid get out of that tiny hole?). I was pissed but the cheapness in me would not let me throw it out. M suggested that I give it to a homeless person but I told her even a he/she would not want my overpriced boiling drink (why the hell didn't I just get a glass of ice?). Back to the kid story, if you are still here since I am being kind of like my sister and meandering...when I got to BT I realized that my plan to work on art projects there, to bring the babies down (there is no damn ramp!) was crazy so I asked a teacher to come outside and watch/witness crying while I went in to get J's best friend. Damn are they cute together! People stared as I steered my four kids plus one (with both babies screaming) to the Dino park. 5 kids may have been ambitious. All three big ones wanted help to climb the dinos, babies cried while I fed one at a time (tandem public feeding is even too much for the UWS), J told me he had to pee and M was obsessed with snacks. When I told J I could walk with him to the fence while he peed he told me that was "inappropriate" (we did it anyway). By the time my friend arrived with her daughter (M's sleepover date) I was about ready to go home. That did not happen because we had to wait for F, on his way with his friend M from out of town.. you get the picture, lots of people and comings and goings. We hung out for an hour on a corner while F spoke on the phone (fun fun) and then all squshed into the car (never big enough) with 5000 bags. J's M replaced my daughter M, plus F's friend M, it was a full house. Ok, that is all I can write now. You get the picture.

All Through The Night..

Click here for a beautiful notion. Okay, so she is not a great singer but a favorite from my youth. I would say that given the 6-7 hour stretch that AleVit slept with a 4:45am wake up time, they accomplished as close to possible as the title to Cyndi's song. No 8 step program last night or the one before. No pumping or bottles. Half asleep 30 minutes of teta (one or two at a time) and then back to the belly for more zzzz's. On the developmental front, we have V who flipped over (put him on belly, went to pee and he was on his back!) and two babies who smile. Here they go growing up!

1 Month Check Up

Well, AleVit is really 5 weeks and 2 days but today is when we went for this doctor's visit. It was a gorgeous day, so we walked and I peeled layers off until I was in a sleeveless shirt. A is now 8 lbs even (she gained 1 lb 1 oz) and V is a whopping 9 lbs 3 oz (up 1 lb 7 oz). My pediatrician has 5 month old twins of her own so it is nice to chat with her. She told me I was her "hero" for solely breastfeeding these babies and for being able to to tandem (not the bike, think two babies attached simultaneously). At this moment in my life that is one of the best compliments I can receive- that I am an efficient feeding machine. It helps ease the occasional monotony of it and the feeling that my babies look at me and see a huge breast with milk or a milkshake (like in cartoons when an animal is shown as a dish as imagined by the hungry person). I may spend most of my time feeding babies, but at least I am doing well with it. Feeding them out of the womb is definitely more time and calorie consuming that in utero. Off to sleep!

Sleep Sleep Sleep

This is the key. If you only teach your baby one thing, teach him/her to sleep. I think we may have it down finally. The verdict is, AleVit likes sleeping on their stomachs. Another big no no according to the Pediatricians of the USA but they can shove their studies up their.. because I do not think a lot of them had twins they tried to get to sleep in 5! (two Rock 'n Sleepers, two car seats and one crib) spots with limited success. The whole campaign "face up to wake up" can kiss my ass as well. Another example of injecting the fear factor into parenting, babies, and anywhere else possible. I am proud to say that they seem to go for most of the night (one wake up each), sleeping side by side, face down, in their crib. At least their is a raison d'etre for that monstrosity in my room. The two portable chairs/cribs/contraptions (aka Rock 'n Sleepers) that I bought out of guilt/desperation when they were car seating it up.. will no most likely collect dust. Or be our portable chairs when we travel. The baby business is kind of the like the funeral one. They get you to spend money out of guilt, the desire to be the best, do the best. This of course coupled with the fact that when you are sleep deprived it is like being parched in the desert, you will pay anything (I have offered babies money in the middle of the night) for the luxury of some shut eye. I am so spoiled that I struggle with even a bit of imperfections with the sleep routine. I like them to sleep when I want for as long as possible. I am sorry to have spent $100 on two of the above contraptions, but I am a sucker. At least I am a well rested one now. Thank you for sleeping AleVit.

Multiplication

The last time he (F's friend) I was a baby and now that he sees all of us-- we multiplied!

Dinner Charm

J to M When I am a grown up I am going to throw a tomato in your face.
M to J Oh yeah, I am going to put poop in your mouth.

lovely.

Perspective

I am sure everyone is as saddened and saturated as I am by the news from Japan. The images are hard to shake and the stoic expression on the Japanese faces is mind boggling. It sure makes me want to shut the fuck up and not complain about anything. There is really nothing to complain about if you are in good health with a roof over your head. Everything else we have, I have, is just gravy, the cherry on top. So, as I proceed with my blog, rife with complaints at times, know that I do not really mean it and I am truly grateful for everything and everyone. AleVit slept soooo well last night (not always the case that a sleepless day equals a good night) and I am first and foremost grateful for that. One of F's best friends, who I spent countless hours with, years, even, came for dinner last night. He had not been in NY since we got married and I had not seen him since I took M to Milan at 3 months of age. Friends and memories and nice things to appreciate as well. I took A to Street Squash for a while in the sling yesterday (facing in and smothered so she got no germs) to have her sleep and to give me a mental break. Tutoring Juwon, having access to a kid from "another America" as they say, I am grateful for this too. I just went to PT and have nothing to report (always nice). I have a crap load of work to do for the auction, for July camp.. just got a teaching job for June.. very grateful. Money is important too when you have so many expenses. So that is it for now folks, I am boring. And I am going to try to nap since AleVit is doing that too today.

Yoga? Not Today!

Remember when I wrote that AleVit was angelic and that I got to the whole yoga class last week? Well, imagine the opposite of that. Today I paid to ruin the class for a whole bunch of mothers, all of whom were surely glad to not be me. A cried and screamed non-stop regardless of what I did. Then she fell asleep. 30 seconds later V was stirring. As soon as I put her down he began his alarm sounds and when I put her down she continued hers. As I changed his diaper, he decided it would be fun to pee all over her (pjs and face!) and himself so that soon both babies were crying like.. cry babies (J calls them this). So, I did about 1 minute of yoga and spent the rest of the day trying to soothe them. Belly aches? I think. Who knows. Lots of crying and restlessness and hardly any sleep. Let's hope that does not carry over into the night!

Today's Evening Comments II

When I went downstairs I learned that J had been telling his grandmother to "leave." I said, that is rude, would you like someone to say it to you? He said yes. So I told him to "leave." His answer. "But then I will get lost."
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M was telling me that a (not very friendly) girl in her class is her new best friend. I said "not if you are going to be mean to your brother when you are with her" (we have a track record of this). M's response, "I do not know what to do because everyone I want to be friends with is mean (kind of true) so I just have to be mean." Oy vey, mean girls in Kindergarten!
____
M told me that to choose a best friend you need to do the following: Choose someone who does not lie, is pretty or handsome, nice and who you like. They need to do the truthery test. When I asked her why she needed a best friend since I thought she had one already, she told me that was her "temporary one."
__

M told me she was bored on the bus so I told her to think about being nice to her brother (a challenge lately). She wrote: I will be nice to J...if he is nice to me final. love, M. Stipulations, always.
__
When discussing why her friend's parents are separated, M said "Maybe they did it to not have fights or maybe they were bored of each other."

Dashing Divas

How do you feel about a birthday party for six year olds where they get mani/pedis?
Why don't they have one for boys at a shooting range? M will be disappointed but I am not promoting or endorsing that crap. Sorry Caroline. We have to decline your invitation. Your parents are lame. Was there no other activity available in NYC? I guess I will be the bad guy/tight ass mother this time.

A's Scent II

After bathing her I told M to smell her-
It does not matter. Your scent is your scent, it does not change.
I insist she smell her hair.
To appease me- Yeah, she smells good.

I Could Eat a Horse

Click here to set the tone. I cannot begin to tell you how hungry I get and how much I can eat. Much more than when I was pregnant. This keeping two people alive with your body even when they are not in your body must consume a lot of calories. I have hunger attacks where I inhale a small mountain of food. Then I say "crap, that was gross." But then every few days, I get on the scale and I continue to shed baby pounds. So I guess there is an upside for a food lover like me in being enslaved into milk servitude. I can eat! Amazing how many things this family uses my body for. I wish we could use F's body to grow and sustain some children! Now I just need to figure out where to put all of my lovely extra BLACK skin. And oh, where is my belly button?

Twin Awkwardness

There is something about twins that attracts people. I always thought they were kind of strange and hoped to not have identical ones (amen!). When I am out with our train contraption long ass stroller, everyone stares, as if every fifth family did not have twins in this city anyway! Part of the allure is most likely their mini size, another part could be the other two kids hanging off the stroller at times. I noticed that Asian women are particularly taken (they will saddle up to the stroller when I am stopped and stare for an inordinate amount of time). I noticed that I have not seen many Asian twins. Maybe that is it? Men, who usually do not give a crap about babies, ask me questions. The comments, however, much like when I was pregnant, are my favorite part. People are just awkward and feel compelled to say something, but it is usually so dumb. A dad at the park came up to me yesterday "twins huh?" (not sure if I should answer this one). When I confirmed he asked, "Do you feel better now?" I was not sure what he was referring to. When I saw a colleague of my mother's at a café he inquired "Oh, you are walking?" I did not know if he meant because I would be too tired to walk or too broken from labor? Neither made sense. My neighbor makes the same comment every time I see her "Are they always sleeping? It looks so easy." I always say, "yes, they sleep a lot in the car seats" (which is where they always are if they are out of the house, ie in the stroller). Maybe I am just inpatient or too sarcastic, but I am thoroughly amused by people's need to chit chat. When a person with kids asks "twins?", my new standard answer is "it could happen to you." It really could. If you are lucky.

8 Step Program

When I hear a baby, in the middle of the night, I like to break it down into 8 steps. I need to feed, burp, and change each one (6 ticks total), go to the bathroom, and pump (my least favorite) so as to b ready for the next feeding and to not explode. During the day I nurse as much as possible as it is more pleasant than bottles. I am pretty good at double nursing now but not great. At night, it is bottles all the way. In theory so others could help, but in reality so I can go faster because I have not noticed anyone but me feeding them in the middle of the night. A just did a 5 hour stretch, I wrote everything above in the time it took me to pump two bottles and type with one hand, and now I am feeding V with one and typing with the other. One more hand would be nifty. The other day I was nursing one baby and trying to put M's hair up in a bun, e definite two hand job. I tried to make M use her free hands to help but it was not working, so I had her hold the baby attached to me as he (or she?) nursed, while I quickly put her hair up. We both noted that if she dropped the baby it would have been really bad, so I do not think we will try that trick again.  My 8 step program, when all goes smoothly by the way, can be executed in 50-60 minutes. Not bad. Especially if you get to sleep 5 hours in an uninterrupted fashion right before, like I just did. If the time were not changing, I could probably sleep another 3-4 hours. But I woke up at 3:21 on my watch, and the computer tells me that is it 4:55am, so I see that I lost an hour, but also, that I am getting faster, because  i am at step 7with V, so if he goes back to burp and then sleep in .5 ounces, I am all set in record time!

M on Scents

I like V's scent more than A's.
Ok. He took a bath today and she did not.
I know but he is always better scented. I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You didn't.
I mean, I know you made her so you could think I think you smell bad because she does.

M The Caregiver

Yesterday she changed each baby's soiled diaper while watching tv (very ambitious!). This included snapping and unsnapping many layers that even some adults have struggled with in this household. I then caught her trying to tape the pacifier (aka 'pete', short for 'chupete') to V's mouth, in an effort, I imagine to not have to keep adjusting it! She might be on to something...

Babies Babies Everywhere!

I realized today that when I walk down the street with all four children, people look at me funnily and wonder if I am a sitter with style, a Jew with no wig? Who the hell has so many children in Manhattan? As I passed the twin stroller off to A today (thank you for your help!) to go teach my community service class at school, I heard a Planned Parenthood person approach her. Too late I thought. Just kidding. Except for the twin part, F and I have planned to the day, every child we have. As I spoke to a woman on the phone today about a potential summer job (maybe a phone interview when I was home alone with four monkeys was not wise) she asked in a rude-ish voice "How many babies are there?" (they were both crying). I told her "just two" and then she asked me if they were mine and told me she had a baby too (who cares? I thought) and that the newborn crying was so hard to listen to. I told her that when it is numbers 3 and 4 you hardly hear it. I am not sure that made me more likable to her. I am also not sure I need another summer job, as I am already running camp at my school in July. But the pay is good and it is nice to engage the mind. It would be an immersion language program for middle schoolers. Off to have dinner. Let the weekend begin!

F is Back!

Woo hoo! That was a long week, and I missed him mucho. I hardly slept last night since I waited for him and then was not in synch with the twins sleep. I was so tired that I passed out for 2 hours (!) right after everyone left this am (twins collaborated with a co-nap in the crib). Today was a good day. I went to pick up MoJo with snacks aplenty. Soon after a sitter came over and I left the children and the mother in law to go to Street Squash and to the gym. How nice to see those kids again. 7th grade homework was a nice change of pace. I hope to stick with these kids 5 more years so that I can have seen them through 6-12th grade. I would be so happy to do that. I got the following bill (humorous) today:

2/8/2011 ante, post & vaginal delivery $11,000 (bargain!)
3/4/2011 credit insurance adjustment -$4,000
3/4/2011 credit insurance payment -$6,990
patient balance copay $10

I guess I can pay $10 for two babies. But should my insurance really pay $11,000 for my 30 minute performance on a slab in the OR? What thieves!

These Kids...

-Today M told me I was "double cheap."
-She also told me she wanted to confirm her sleepover with Z because A is "a forgetter person."
-M is convinced that you are in heaven before you are born (sigh) and told me it was weird that she did not see Julio there before she was born.
M- How many schools do you need to go to to become an astronaut? I am afraid I will die before I have enough time to do it.
M: Her grocery list:
Beans, chekcen, jam, cheese, orenge, peanut butter, toys, butter, eggs, grape, candy, cokkies, carots, apples, brocoli, ice cream, ice cream sandwich, ice pops
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-J emphatically says "No way Ho-Zay" to my every request.
-J- You have to cut my foot nails, they are way too much long.
-J- When I am a grown up I am going to wipe my kids's butts (an obsession as you can see)
A few minutes after scolding him and a few seconds after asking for a besitio..
J- You want a kiss for getting me in trouble?

J's (scary) breakdown of the life cycle: You are a baby and then you are a kid and a teenager and a grown up and then they shoot you and you die and it starts all over again.

J's Deep Thoughts II

He nonchalantly handed me a bottle top and said "for your teta."
He looked at A with a serious look and said "You are going to be big like me."
I said "yes, it is true.:
J- "Yeah but she cannot hear me."

Milk Expression Soundtrack

This is a good tune to pump to. Hands down my favorite song from ages 13 to 15. This toy is definitely my least favorite gadget ages 29-present. Is its spiffy name supposed to make me feel better? Make no mistake about who belongs to whom!

HAPPY 1 Month AleVit!

Wow! We celebrated with a yoga class. They slept the whole time (ie I was the only mother who did the whole class while others relaxed with their babies, soothed them, nursed them.. I was working my butt off). I walked there and back (20 min each way), had a lovely lunch with M and her baby (also at the class) and then I brought the bebés home and walked another 20 minutes to pick up the older monkeys. A great full day with walking and yoga and babies. So happy you have been here for a month. You are such nice babies:)

Today...

While choosing what to stream on "Neckflix"
J- Hannah Montana is my favorite
Me- No it is not. You just want M to watch it.
J-When I am a grown up I am going to have a daughter and name her M and let her watch Hannah Montana
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According to J I spray "nasonuts" in his nose every night.
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J screaming for me wipe him from his bathroom upstairs.
I tell him, as I always do now "do it yourself you are 4."
After yelling like a madman he says "my legs are getting tired. come-wipe-me -NOW!"
I try not to laugh.
When he realizes I am not coming he changes target and asks "no nee" (nonna mariní) to do it.
I ask him what he does in school and he tells me "the toilet is my size there."
___

M was trying desperately to arrange a dinner date or a sleepover date or anything with her friend Z today. Z was not amused by the fact that I did not let her hold a baby or come over for dinner. M insisted on calling her friend as soon as we got home ( I explained that she needed to allow time for Z to get home too). As she tried to negotiate a plan with her while consulting with me, all with the phone in her hand.. she decided to talk to someone in charge and asked Z to put her mother on the phone. In 3 minutes she had secured a dinner date with a sleepover afterwards and she looked so satisfied it was funny. After hanging up she did a victory (think "Walk like an Egyptian") dance. Then she thought she should call back to get J invited too. I said no but she called anyway (only after asking "is it popular or annoying to call back to double check about the play date). This girl sure knows what she wants and how to get it!

___

After J woke up A by banging into her chair with another one M commented "That sure was disturbing that he waked her up."

More Recent Comments

M- I remember the first time I saw the twins in real life. I wondered how my mom made two things in one beautiful body (there was more but I could not write it down in time).
--
Me- come put on your cream
M- It is like so ridiculous that we have to put on cream every night (is it?)
___
Me to J - Yes sir.
J- I am not a sir. I am a man.
___
M- Everyone is born naked because you have no clothes and no way to exit to get clothes when you are in your mother's belly. So you have to be born naked. But it would be nice to be born with clothes.
J- Yeah, but you cannot talk or walk.
M- Right, so you cannot go buy clothes.

M on Money & Advertising

We have recently been trying to explain brands and ads to M to make her think about what she really wants and what she thinks she wants because her friends have it etc. On our way to a party she commented, "The stuff you really want is expensive so you fall for it. You fall for it and they trick you and take your money. The problem is sometimes I want the expensive stuff too and I do not want to fall for it." M should lecture adults on this subject. She could start in our house with her trendy father:)

AleVit 1: AAP 0

The American Academy of Pediatricians, as well as their mothers, can go fly a kite! (Please not my G versus R language, a product of my beauty sleep). From when I last wrote both babies slept like angels, like they had not done since.. the last time they slept in their car seats! Not a peep from either one for over 6 hours. I just fed V to make sure he eats (napped for 6 hours yesterday as well) enough. Sue me, scold me, hate me,  but do not take away my seats, we are hooked! 

Post Partum Etiquette

For those of you who were wondering how to offend a post partum lady like myself, here are some tips you may find useful..

1. Inquiries such as "When are you due?" a month post the birth date- not so friendly.
2. Pointing, touching or staring at the pouch belly left over from delivery- quite obvious.
3. Saying "you look great" while you do number 2 with a look of disdain- insincere.
4. Saying "you look great" and then qualifying it with "it has only been x weeks" with a look on your face that says the opposite- not productive
5. Suggesting a tummy tuck repeatedly to your daughter in law when she is clearly a) offended, b) not interested in surgery, c) too poor for one anyway - not so classy

If you would like to offend or piss off an already sensitive and hormonally charged person like myself- I highly recommend trying any of the 5 faux pas above.

Not So Fast...

hissed an unpleasant voice... the kids in room 207 were the worst behaved... today let's just be terrible. Sound familiar? Yes, I am quoting Miss Nelson Is Missing because it seems to encapsulate the last 24-36 hours. Did I say that AleVit were angels who slept? I lied. I was wrong. They hardly slept a wink all day yesterday and then opted to party all night long as well. Counterintuitive I know, but that is what they did. Today they napped some but we are at the beginning of a power struggle smack down for the evening. Do not ask if they have gas, wonder if they are hungry or wet, it is truly irritating to hear all of your theories and explanations. Sometimes, babies just want to be held, want to have the power to decide when to sleep, and want to cry. Sometimes they just cry, and no, her bottom isn't red... stop with the musings. Ah, I knew it was too quiet (the calm lasted as long as the paragraph). A is back at yelling. No reason. They are both, contrary to all rules and regulations, in their car seats (at least I put those in the crib to make it less un-kosher). A is screaming like there is no tomorrow. Yes, she has eaten. And she is changed. My mother in law just ran up here a few minutes ago (five seconds after I said DO NOT go) and turned all of the lights on and picked them up and changed them and made sure that everything was in ship shape and that they were wide awake and got the clear message- you cry= I come running. So, just to make sure that you know (for those of you who think I am cold hearted), that all of the bases have been covered. A is quiet again, much shorter crying. No intervention from me. The pete is a real bitch sometimes. Pop it in and it is sure to pop out, another legitimate reason to cry.. so I will let it be. Oh, the sighs, A is recovering and quiet. There is hope. I am off to stretch. My back is sore from the 457 times I got up last night (did I mention that MoJo was also in my bed so that I had to climb over little bodies to get to mini bodies and find small gaps in the bed for the rare stretches that I got to sleep?) Could tonight be worse than last? Maybe. But I am hoping for better.

The Good, The Sad, & The Ugly

I am truly a milk machine. I may have been a wet nurse in another life. I got briefly distracted while pumping today and found myself in a milk emergency with milk all over my jeans. Which brings me to the next good, which is that I decided to open my bed (a bitch but always a delight to see all the clothes I forgot about in there) and take out non-maternity pants.. and they fit. If I did not have a dark black pouch where my belly used to be, I would say that I am in pretty good shape considering my circumference 24 days ago. I have about 9 more lbs and A LOT of skin to lose. That was the ugly by the way. The sad is that F is away in Chicago and will not be back for a week. AleVit slept nada today, which was weird, and I hope they do not opt to party all night long. 4 kids is a lot when they all need you at the same time, which happened repeatedly today. I miss F!

You Know You Are Crazy When..

You decide that you are going to give up on so much pumping and bottle feeding and try to retrain AleVit to do mostly teta. Encouraged by the pediatrician (herself the mother of 5 month old twins) and the desire to not be hooked to a machine and so distanced from the intimacy of breast feeding, I am going to take on this challenge. March 17 they are due back for a weight check and 1 month check up and they will be able to assess if they get enough food from the source. Another sign of insanity is signing up for the ING NYC marathon 8 months and 3 days away. Forget the 26.2 miles that I need to cover somehow (in addition to dragging my mother the distance), I also need to raise $2,620 or cough it up myself. Well, what can I say? I find it hard to not have goals, challenges, to keep busy. I am limited in that way. So, let the madness begin/continue!

4 Year Check Up

Brace yourself for this one. J got 4! shots and he was in agony. When the Dr. asked me how how he was with shots I said "great" as he has never made a peep. J cried and screamed and tried to escape after the first two. He was so so sad and offended after the shots that I did not know what to do. He refused any treat or prize offered by the nurse and just looked at me like I was a traitor. J has consistently complained about the pain and held his arms in a weird way since then, so I think they really hurt. Poor guy. He weighs   41 lbs and is in good shape other than the shot recovery.

Pm Comments

M- Balloons pop in the sun.
Me- I don't think that will happen indoors.
M- Didn't you learn anything in law school? Balloons will pop near the light.

J- Do you know how they make icies? They smush the strawberries and put it in the freezer to make it ice. then they put in on a stick and add plastic to it and tape and give it to shrek direck and then they bring it to us and we put it in the freezer and eat it.

J (before his shots) - Today was a hard day. I am not so lucky. I get hurt. People make fun of me. (Aw)

M & Money

M was very excited to get $2 for her last tooth. She has been yearning to go to the dollar section at Target to spend her mula. Last night she got to go as a special treat right after dinner. She came back with just a super hero cup for her brother because she decided there was nothing she loved there. She was also very disappointed to discover tax. Those extra 9 cents were a surprise. I found it so mature and sweet that she did not get anything for herself. Now she wants to go to a dollar store to explore!

3 weeks 1 day

Alevit (or Vitale as my father prefers) is doing well! They go to the doctor for their one month check up soon. They already look much bigger. If you have not met them yet and want to see real new borns, hurry up! V has some trouble settling down at night sometimes. Last night was one of those nights and I am sorry to say that I broke all of the American Pediatric recommendations and let him sleep first on his stomach (I fell asleep patting his back- oops) and then at 4:30, after 45 minute of fussing (our threshold is low for that now that we are spoiled), we put the car seat on our bed (not sure why F did that since J was also already on the bed so it was crowded) and within a millisecond he was out. And he slept like a baby...

Haiti Total $

M's money collection for Haiti is officially over. We set February as her fundraising month and it is now March 1. I am happy to report that she collected $60.55 and we will be sending a check to MADRE, a charity I organize many drives for, tomorrow. It just so happens that I am currently collecting clothes and shoes for children in Haiti at school, so M's check will be part of that drive. Good job!

Too Good To Be True?

Alevit are so good it is boring. They only cry when hungry or wet. They sleep 4-6 hours at a time at night, 7 if I put one in a car seat (which I did do the other day because I could not wait out the fussing). MoJo is good. I mean they are delinquent smart asses but they are well behaved overall. Love their twins. Hmm. This must be the calm before the storm. MoJo has two new traditions. "Flashlight time" which is now an intro to the "challenge" (toy they take to bed). Reading in the dark in bed is cool. They also had a dance party, in their undershirts, today,  for a long time. At one point in the dark with the flashlights on  to make it look "real" as M said. They sure like their new mix (thanks E.) and they like "rock." J especially will not dance if it is not deemed real rock to him.  Off to feed!

More Zingers

M in the car- Can we have a country house?
J- We already have babies (my thoughts exactly).

M to me- Do you think I am going to be a mom or a single lady?
Me- A mom.
M- Great. If I am a mom I will be a grandma and I will be so happy. (pause) Will you help me choose what to be when I grow up?

In a context I cannot remember I used the word sassy (negative to me and of paramount coolness to M).
M- I am so glad to hear that word come out of your mouth.

J this afternoon after getting his "mote control car" for his bday-
Can I put a baby on the car and let it go down the stairs?/

J- Can I have more birthday tomorrow?
F- It is over until next year. Then you will be five.
J- I do not want to grow up because then I will have to have gum and wine.

Feliz Cumple Ciccione!!!

A mi primer hijo varón en el día de su cumple... Happy Birthday!!!  Hard to believe that you are 4!!  Te quiero hasta el cielo! Mamá.

It Is Very Hard...

to watch the Oscars when you have to keep going upstairs to calm down your twin baby son and you are trying to follow the 50 person betting pool that you organized and you need to wrap your 4 year old son's birthday presents and you need to pee but you are feeding V a bottle and typing with one hand.

Party Mania

Today was J's 4th birthday party and we are about to start our Oscar gathering. What a party filled day! J was shy but had fun dancing and moving to music with friends from both in and out of school. The cake was INCREDIBLE- a guitar shaped wonder surrounded by Beatles action figures. Twins stayed home. J got lots of gifts. Too much food. A nice day for him. The festivities continue tomorrow with a birthday snack in school, a special play date with his best friend, and a little happy birthday with the family in the evening. How can my ciccione be 4 already? It is madness!

What You Need For a Party

A an apartment, we will always have one
B buddies
C cake
D decorations.
This is what M just told me.

PT

Went back last Tuesday. He seemed surprised to see me. Dr. said 2 weeks and that is what I took. Back again this Tuesday. Feels great to go. To walk in park. Now if I could just run a marathon. Hmm,

A Few Good Lines..

J to M in the tub: Could you hold me while I swim? Could you do me that favor?

M to me when questioned about an empty bottle of shampoo: If it seems like I am lying, if I have a lying face it is a half lying face because I am not sure if I dreamt it or not. Tell me if it's possible or impossible that I spilled it out (me- you tell me). I am 100 % sure that I do not remember if I did, - a lawyer in the making?-

I woke up to..Wipe me! 10 times louder and louder. When I told J not not yell, to wipe himself and that I was sleeping- But you were not listening to me!-

Back to Life

Today was almost a typical weekend. The only anomalies are the now normal routines of  pumping and feeding. I went on a great 75 minute walk with my mother. I also went out alone to do errands and to tutor (never underestimate the beauty of making some mula) and after a long walk to the park, where I realized that I look like an orthodox Jewish mother but with a really good wig, I ventured to the supermarket (recently redone) all alone. I am bracing myself for tomorrow. We are hosting a party fo J, turning 4 on Monday, for over 20 kids and their parents. Tomorrow night we are hosting a dinner and Oscar party for about 7 people. It is sure to be a full but fun day!

Je Suis Une Vache Argentine

All I do is pump or think about (i.e. dread) pumping. It does not even take that long. But once in a while I wonder who the asshole is who invented this machine. Okay, it is a cool trick that I can make babies grow outside of my body with something my body makes, but still. How many bottles does it take to make a mamma cuckoo? My mistake last night was going to bed too early (before the late feeding) which meant getting up two times for the feeding routine. AleVit sleeps well  but two times (10-15 minutes per bottle plus changing diapers plus 10-15 minute pumping/cleaning bottles) is too many. I read at the doctor's office that they need to drink 32 ounces per day before moving on to food. Holy cow (that would be me), they currently drink 20 ounces more or less and that is very time consuming. I need to start stockpiling milk. Can I make it through infancy with no formula? I have done harder things, but they were a bit more interesting than this...

Fabulous Thursday!

Today was a nice long full day. It started with waking up late because AleVit let us sleep. I rushed to dress and feed MoJo, give M toppings for her crepes in French, lunch for F etc. After organizing laundry and dirty dishes (another leitmotif), I was visited by a very nice woman I used to tutor/friend who brought me breakfast and some lovely gifts (the gift situation is getting out of control here). After chatting with her for a while we set out on a long walk to visit another lovely woman, whose son I tutor. I did not fit in the elevator of her fancy 5th avenue building so I carried a car seat in each hand and went up. She prepared an elaborate and delicious lunch and AleVit slept for the most part. The next part of the day involved our very first 100% positive pediatrician visit! Tía D met us there and helped with the logistics of holding and undressing and dressing two infants. I askedthe doctor to weigh A as well so we could skip next week's visit. Both babies gained weight since Monday (V is up to 7 lbs 6 oz and A to 6lbs 15 oz) and V's belly button is healing (thank goodness, I could not take any more cauterizing). Yahoo! We reversed our long walk to come home and had a productive double nursing session. I pump and bottle feed so much that I wonder if they will lose interest in teta, but thankfully that has not happened. I was stuck on a channel about a woman striving to weigh 1,000 pounds as I double nursed. With no free hands to change the channel, I got a glimpse into the stupidity of day time television and remembered why I never watch it. AleVit hung out awake (rare for V) in their chairs for a while, and now they are sleeping in the crib. Nobody is home yet as MoJo had a special pick up with tía T so I am enjoying the calm before the storm. What a pleasure to get outside and to break the ground hog's day cycle of feeding and changing at home. As you can see, it does not take much to please me. Some air, lots of food (I cannot stop eating!), and four healthy children who eat and sleep!

Cauterize Your Own Belly Button!

Ouch. Poor V's belly button is not healing well. We went back today (his 4th visit in 15 days of life!)  and she cauterized his belly button for a long time (much longer than the first time). V screamed like a maniac as the doctor assured me that it did not hurt (yeah, right). I almost cried it looked so gross and painful. Surprise! They want us to go back again tomorrow to check it. I feel like this is the funeral business where they screw you because they can and they must have a quota of co-pays to meet because I have already spent $70 since they were born! I hope his ombliguito heals fast so he can rest well and we can take a one week break from the doctor!

You Are Not The Boss

of me said J to me. I told him he was very wrong and that when he could cook for himself and get to school and do everything alone he could be "the boss of himself." He said, "Ok, but can you stay where I can see you?"

Funkin' Dunkin'

I must admit that this is my guilty pleasure. Flavored coffee from here, the occasional breakfast sandwich (crap,  I know). I walked many blocks this am to get to a Dunkin'. It is about 5 degrees outside. Upon entering a guy asked me for money. I wanted to just get him breakfast but he said he wanted something from the diner. First I thought this was presumptuous and then I thought I am a bitch for thinking that because he is poor he does not have a preference where to have breakfast. I bought exactly the coffee I wanted (which most people would think is gross) - medium decaf hazelnut with one equal and a regular coffee for him. I resisted the urge to buy a sandwich because I am very poor since tutoring has been suspended and I am cheap as well. Upon exiting I gave him $5 and a the coffee. As soon as I put the coffee to my lips I realized that I had given him MY COFFEE. Damn it! Too cheap to spend any more money, I came home with a coffee that I will not drink, a bad feeling (the guy crossed the street but did not enter the diner and probably threw out my coffee) and $10 poorer. Damn it!

Online Services..

MoJo love NeCKflix and FreshdireCK. Do you guys use these?

Stuck With Her

Me- Excuse me.
J- You cannot say excuse me for that. That was a real fart. You are fired!

Whle discussing a special playdate that M is going to have with tia T.
Me- Is it okay with you if M gets picked up by T and you go with S (babysittter).
J- No, I do not want to go with her. Then I am stuck with her.
Me- What do you mean?
J- She babysis me like every day (not true).

Another Day, Another Doctor's Visit

We made it to the pediatrician in time despite the snow (?!) just in time to learn that AleVit is almost exactly at their birth weight! V gained 6.5 oz and A 10.5oz in a week. Way to go babies! Now the good news is we do not have to wake them at night to eat. The bad news is that the Dr. does not think they should sleep in their car seats. I find this to be terrible news since it is the only way they sleep for now. I had just consulted, upon my mother's ballbusting, with a friend who is a pediatrician who thought it was just fine for them to sleep in them. So, do I listen to her and go against the American Pediatric Association or do I listen to the doctor I like and my instincts and let them sleep? Poor V had to have his billirubin checked again (not sure why), which has since come back negative. As if drawing blood from his heel were not enough, he also had to have his belly button cauterized. Pobrecito. They want us back for another visit (maybe they have quotas for co-payments?) next Thursday and I will bring J along for his 4 year old check up. Half of my life this year has been doctor appointments and I do not see any end in sight. The important thing is, of course, that they are growing and healthy. What else could we ask for?

King of the Kitchen

F is. He has been mastering hnadmade pasta, homemade soups, fruit tarts and roasts for the past few months. He really is a very good cook. Not many people can say that their spouses love to cook and do it for them on a now daily basis (I used to be the main cook). The only problem is the weight we may gain if he does not slow down. My compliments to the chef!

New York News

Is the title of M's now defunct newspaper. The headline read "My mom just had twins. They were a boy and a girl." Then she made some mistakes, had a meltdown and proclaimed, "You just can't make mistakes on newspapers. Thousands of people are going to read them!" She had black marker all over her hands and her face (and the tablecloth). It was sad. She has since recovered.

Complaint Department

What can I say? I love to complain and I do not really have anything to complain about. I am now spoiled and think it is normal that Alevit sleeps all night long and eats and chills most of the day. The other two monkeys have adjusted surprisingly well so far. M can hold a baby for as long as you let her and gazes into her sibling's face with love. J is even coming around and very proudly gave A a bottle today. I lost 27 lbs so far (only 13 more to go!). I guess I could complain about the current shape,  color and texture of my belly but it will get better and I do not wear bikinsi or midriffs anyway. My back is in tip top shape and I am returning to physical therapy on Tuesday. I walked 50 minutes with my mother yesterday and it felt great. I cannot think of anything to complain about right now. But do not worry, I will. For now, I can only say.. life is good.

On M's Notebook Pages....

It Was  (she told me it was underlined because it was the title)
It was noone's birthday. It was my day for you!!!

Love Is
Love is me Love is you!

50 + 50 = 100 (every five is backwards)
5+5= 10
3+2= 5
40+40=80

10+10+10+10+10+10=+10+10=80

10+10+10+10+10+10=+10+10+10+10=100

The Power of Two!

Both babies were crying. So I stacked them in one arm to carry them downstairs (ambitious I know, but they still weigh very little). Instant silence. Decided to not go anywhere. V looked so happy to be smushing A, who in turn looked happy to be smushed. Have to remember to put them closer together as much as possible. So cool to have that physical need and familiarity. Put them down in the crib 1 mm away from each other, swaddled like burritos, and they are totally content. What an easy solution. Smush them!

Look No Hands!

I can now do more than ever with no hands. Many of my posts are composed with a few fingers while the other hand holds a baby and a bottle. At one point today I was watching a horrible movie, nursing, and talking to my insurance company on the phone (a part time job along with disputing bills and making and going to dr appts). Laundry is another part time job which involves washing AleVit separately from the rest of our clothes (gentler way more expensive detergent) and separate from F's work shirts, which I have fucked up one too many times with my-shove-everything-that-fits in-the-machine-and-add-cold-water method. Begging my mother to un-tiedye his best work shirts (which she did because she is a laundry/stain/ironing genius) last year is not something to repeat. AleVit are the best twins a gal could ask for. They are up to chugging 3oz most meals, they still work hard to nurse (more work less milk), and they sleep like there is no tomorrow in them car seats at night. Need all of my fingers now. Later..

When You are Sliding Into First

..... diarrhea.
This is how my brain feels at times.
I had to think hard when asked J's dob by the pharmacist and I could not answer this question "How old are the twins?" Had to look at my watch and do math to get to the number nine.
Pregnancy did not mush my brain but apparently caring for twins has. Maybe less sleep deprivation will make me less slow.
AleVit and I had a lovely long walk with my friend/colleague and her newborn (who looks huge despite being only 2 lbs and 3 weeks older). So many people intrigued by the twins in the street. The stroller looks like a train it is so long. AleVit had their first outing to a restaurant (Henry's) and slept through the whole thing.
I think I will stay home and really try to do nothing tomorrow. Maybe watch a movie.
The logistics of feeding two babies at once (one sitting in a c shaped cushion and one on my lap) followed by the feeding one one while I pumped.. are getting easier and more familiar, If I just had a third hand, I could master it!

Interesting Comments

M recently told me that since it is so crowded here now that I have four kids she would like to go sleep at her friend G's house. She has been trying to plan this for two years and that family does not do sleepovers.
___

J asked me out of the blue and exasperated (and he was the only one home with me and F!) - Why did we have to have twins for?
____

J to me- I look like the babies' dad. They think I am their dad.

____

J- What does Uncle D do in college? I am thinking he does cooking or some computer stuff.
Me- No.
J- Maybe he does nothing.
___

J looking around the living room- There was a baby explosion here.
Me- Of what? Poop?
J- No. Of baby.

____
J trying to get out of eating dinner- I dreamt that  a doctor put his long hand in my throat and found all of the food and then he would be fat and not me.

By George, I Think We Got It!

AleVit SLEPT last night. Woo hoo! They went down in their carseats, all bundled up at 11:30pm. I woke them up at 3am to feed them. In 69 minutes (would have been less if they had actually woken up as opposed to "asleep eating") I fed both 2.5 oz bottles, burped and changed them, pumped out another two bottles and they were back asleep as was I. NOT BAD. If only this could last it would be heavenly. I woke them up again at 7am (they are obviously very snug in there hence the solid slumber) and repeated the routine with F's help while we got the other two monkeys dressed and fed and off to school early, as F had to drop them off before his first day back to work. It is supposed to be in the high 50's today so I am off for a long walk soon. Life is good when twins sleep!

Ode To Ms. H.

My friend and colleague brought M home. M proceeded to write her a book. It reads: Page 1: I love Ms. H because she is nice to me. Page 2: I love Ms. H because she has a boyfriend. Page 3: I love Ms. H because she is cute.
That girl has a way with words...

Oh, I Get It!

You do not want to sleep in the crib taking up half of my room. You want to be bundled in your car seats on the floor (now on my bed because I am up) and I should have gotten this signal right away when you screamed like a maniac despite being fed, cleaned, and snuggly. A is really the car alarm here, she does not scream at all, except when you get in bed. And not right away. She waits 3-7 minutes to make sure you are already dreaming about sleeping. I have to go wake the natives so they they drink some more expressed milk, poop and pee, get changed, go back to sleep so I can pump milk so we can all keep going. Pretty cool that my body's milk is the sole source of survival for these puppies right now. Nature is crazy! J poited out that men do not have babies because they do not have tetas, just "mimples" (M used to call them pimples so this makes sense). Hasta luego. Sorry I am not as prolific or witty as I used to be. My brain is a little mushy.

Where Does The Time Go?

AleVit is one week old! AAAHHH! Today I upped the ante with the bottles and gave A 2.5 ounces of milk. She drank all of it and then when she burped some milk came out of her nose. Oops. I noticed that A's umbilical cord remnant has fallen off (yuck) and one diaper change later V's had as well. So in synch. This afternoon F went to Buy Buy Baby to return many items and to get some. MoJo came back with a toy for each twin. J told me that (inspired by U2) he would like his band to play on a roof. Last night's sleeping was a disaster as well. They do a great job sleeping all day and like to party all night long. The more time I am at home the less I get done and the faster the time goes. Today was nice. Tomorrow is F's last day at home. Boo hoo.

Victory Part II

Both boxers weighed in and gained! A 1.5 oz and V 3oz (most of that is probably back-logged poop). They are both also pooping a lot and not jaundiced. They go back for their final test on Monday.  Should be back to birth weight. Saw a nice doctor (same one as the hospital). Walked to and from the doctor (about 30 blocks each way). Let the pumping and feeding and pooping continue!

AleVit 3: Parents 1

Poor V, definitely having tummy pain. LOTS of crying and not much sleeping last night. AT ALL. Mat have been the worst night yet. Ithink poop is the answer. Sorry for typos. Using one hand and the other to hold V. More news later post dr appt. A and F fast asleep. V tooting in my arms, also asleep. Does not want to be put down..

Night Number 3

Alevit 2/Parents 1
We finally won last night. We only got up at 2 and 5:30 I think. We figured out that expressed milk (ie breast milk in a bottle for those of you not up on these scintillating terms) is a better guarantor of long sleep because we can see how much they eat. They have both also made lots of poops, which is exciting when you are 5 days old. Let's see how tonight goes!

A's First Smile

It was not short nor did it seem gas inspired. It was Gas inspired though as A was in her uncle's arms. Last night J also professed his love for his uncle. G, not being the most overtly emotional guy said "I do not believe you." J proceeded to hug and tug at his uncle and re-declare his love. Let the love flow.

C-O-N-G-R-A-T-U-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-?

Is what a card made by kids from my school says on the cover (Pre-K).
Nice use of punctuation!

MoJo's Insights on AleVit

M- Why are the twins so important all of a sudden?
Me- Well, they cannot do anything alone and they need our help for everything and that is why they need so much attention. The same thing happened when you were born.
M-But there was nobody else around. (point taken)
Me- Well I need you to be flexible.
M- With my body or my mind?
______

J-  (from the toilet) Can you bend down now?
Me- Yes, I am not pregnant anymore.
J- Yes you are (pointing to my belly). There are more babies in there.
Me-  No there are not.
J- Yes. There are 300 billion more but they are coming out one at a time.
Me- No , we are not having any more babies.
J- Well there are some raccoons that will be coming out later.

At The Bottom

of the learning curve is where we are. Last night was better than the one before but by a fraction of a millimeter. A sleeps wonderfully all day and falls apart at night. Both A & V are learning to take from a bottle but now seem less interested in the breast (they like it as a pacifier but do not latch on well to eat). Lots of pumping. Not enough wet or dirty diapers (hardly any) but lots of gas and discomfort. They need to eat more and gain weight or the pediatrician will recommend something more drastic on Monday. I feel like wrestlers or boxers must before the weigh in. I have the goods, the milk is flowing, but it does not seem to be making them grow, process, rest. I am sure it will get better, but for now fF and I subsist on lots of naps ranging from 5 minutes to an hour. Our long stretch last night was 5:30am-7:15am. We could have kept going of course but the other midgets were up. On my way to take the big midgets to abuela's today, J complained that we were taking the bus and not a car. M said, "Mommy is not going to drive the new car because she is still on training wheels and she could crash it." J replied "It's already crashed." True. Remember from the snow day? I thought the image of me "on training wheels" summed it all up very well. Off to nap while J takes music class and M does stickers.

First Night At Home

Was rough. Night and Day do not mean much to AleVit. I am hoping tonight is better. We are clearly at the bottom of the learning curve. Nursing is challenging as is sleep deprivation. I think we slept 3 hours or so last night. The more A woke up, the worse it was. F's back hurt, my uterus, my breasts were raw from nursing. Today we were told to try bottles to make sure they are eating enough so I have the pleasure of hooking myself up to machinery as well. I do not like our pediatrician. We were there forever and AleVit suffered. We have to go back on Monday to make sure they are not losing too much weight. Ugh.

Home Sweet Home

Oops. I now realize how much I have to learn. All 4 kids with the stairs and the feedings... I better learn fast. I have the luxury of F being home all week but I need to get organized for when he is not. Abuelo left today adn we will surely miss him and his help. J was very funny contemplating the twins. He asked me what language they spoke and when I said none, they will learn what we speak to them he asked me if they spoke French. He also tried to give his brother a lollipop, some milk, and tried to force him to watch tv. I do not think that he can wrap his mind around the fact that the twins do not do much. M was ADORABLE with her siblings, holding them and gazing into their eyes for prolonged periods of time. MoJo is doing very well so far with the onslaught of change. On another funny note, J referred to V, whose name he cannot really say, as "the boy A", as in his sister's name. He also told me that he dreamt that babies were coming out of his head. Funny kids. Let the games begin!

On The Third Day of Twin Motherhood Nature Gave To Me...

3 double breastfeedings (one with almost no help)
2 milk engorged breasts
1 huge road mapped almost black belly
0 tears, stitches
5 golden rings (just kidding)
Okay, so I am not as musical as I hoped after another almost sleepless night. I do not recommend a Hasidic diabetic almost teenage roommate for your maternity stay. Poor woman was up all night with nurses, insulin, morphine, tests, and her baby. At one point when I fell asleep I felt banging on my bed and realized she was rocking the crib into the side of my bed. I did not say anything to her because I honestly felt bad for how many issues she was having. Maybe I will sleep again for pronlonged periods of time. Maybe not. I am not really tired, which is great. Maybe I am high and this will change. For now I am excited to go home and to tackle life in the baby lane. Now I have earned the title of my blog (which I am about to change). I have a 6.3 year old, a 3.9 year old, and two 2 day(!!!!) olds.

The Calm

I just achieved by putting them together in a very tight squeeze is... amazing. A cries more than V and wants to eat or sleep but mostly on someone. When I decided to smush her into her brother's crib, they both became serene. They are nuzzling each other. I imagine that yesterday was a rough ride for them and that finidng each other and holding hands was the best thing that could have happened after the sudden barrage of noise, light, air, and messiness involved with coming into the world. I am so happy F caught it on film. Hand holding. Buddies and partners in crime from now on. Today was lovely with lots of family and some friends visiting. I tried double nursing. Looks crazy but efficient if I can swing it alone. Life is good. I need to remember this calm later on.

Thank You!

Abuelo for staying and for all of your help!
Siblings for all of your love and support.
Friends, blog readers for all of your positive vibes.
My kids for their patience and humor.
My other parents for all of their help and love.
Doctors and PT for strength.
Nature for its power and efficiency.
Last but not least F for everything always. Congratulazioni papa di 4!
Hang tight we have the real marathon ahead!

Big Midgets Meet Babies

M was in awe of the two little cribs and kept asking me who was who. J did not care what their names were and continued to refer to them as A and B or "my baby" or "M's". J asked why their ears were "crumbly" and both were very interested in "how old will twins be when I am.. years old?" I congratulated M for being a triple big sister and she said likewise for my being a "quadruple mom"! J very non chalantly asked me why I was still pregnant (ie why I still have a huge belly) and he came to smush it because he was not convinced by my answer. J also told me that he saw his brother's "wet yellow slimy penis" and I told him that was an umbilical chord but he did not buy that either. M then went on a crazy writing binge writing a poem to each person in the room. They all go something like this: "The brother: I love my brother so so so so so so so much. By M." My favorite two pieces are one that is entitled "The Twins:Twins have the most love in the whole worldand you can still see them if you look." By M. She also made a big heart and drew and labled all 6 of us. Priceless.

A Few Notes

I think my posts will be a bit choppier now:) Both babies are in their portable cribs next to me. A has the hiccups (she is twin B) and V is calm. Some nice coincidences since I am obsessed with numbers... They were born on Feb 8 and I am on the 8th floor (M was born 11-11 and I was in room 11 on the 11th floor). My nurse who is very nice is named Violeta! While I was writing about Dr. C before, she walked in and I felt guilty. She did her best and it worked. Last night she asked me if it was okay that she had taken pictures of the babies. I asked her (more for her than for me) if I could take a picture of her with the babies and she asked F to take one with her phone too. Good experience for both of us in the end I guess. She commented that babies are not delivered feet first in this country but that I did a good job. When the deliveries were over and F was out talking to family I was left in the OR with nurses, all from the Caribbean who went on and on about how amazing it was to do it without drugs, how I showed them.. it was funny. Dr B, the assisting twin expert also said "good job, not many people can do that." Thank you doctors and nurses. Thank you body. Thank you nature. We did it!

Live From Mt. Sinai- The BABIES ARE HERE!

I woke up from a mini nap yesterday and was in pain. I noticed that the pain came and went and was kind of intense. I am a little slow so it took several before it occurred to me that it was labor. Timed a few.8 minutes apart. The all of a sudden 2 minutes apart. Called F at the office 4:37. Told him to come home. My parents were over, anxious for me to call Dr, C but it did not seem urgent. She said come to the hospital. Given that I spent HOURS pre delivery the first few times writhing around in pain in a labor room I did not want to rush it. Got to the hospital at about 5:45pm. 8cm. Painful contractions but not too many and I knew they would get worse so I just tried to breathe and ignore the bickering between several nurses and my Dr. Why couldn't she tell them to shut up and that she was in charge and I was in labor? A few minutes later. 9cm. Off to the OR, they were scrambling. Lots of people. 6:42 my son was born!!!! I still cannot believe it. So fucking fast. And it went so fast that it never got as painful as I feared. When I first got to the hospital I kept thinking about having to go to the bathroom and they wanted urine samples. But I could not do anything. I realize now (again, I am a little slow) that it was because I had "the urge to push" not a bathroom need. Pushing hurt but out he popped. 7lbs 1ozs, 19.75 inches long. What a relief I thought. Then I remembered that I had to do another. But there were several minutes of no contractions. Sonogram to check Baby B's position (the sotry of my life!). Baby was feet first. Flipped over right after A got out. Trickster. Had this happened 10 minutes earlier Dr. C would NOT have let me deliver. Doctors talking. Turn it. Pull it out. Dr. C stuck her hand in me just as I got the most hideous and violent leg cramp (not F's side unfortunately because he knows how to stretch it). I asked her to stop and she freaked out on me. Something about "I told you this would hurt. We have to get the baby out with an epidural or a C- section NOW. You need to work with me." Her worst fears were materializing but I was not trying to be difficult. I just could not deal with pain in so many places. I was sort of rude back to her and told her that I WOULD collaborate but that my leg was killing me. Dr. C went in and with another doctor (very confident twin expert) they pulled out Baby B, a girl!! out.They were trying tio turn her but when my water broke it was too late and feet first she came.
Babies crying. More later...
I am one lucky mamma. Maybe I should change the name of the blog?

Morning Banter

F to J - I like your socks.
J- I like your head.

Nature vs. Medicine

This is how long I was awake last night. Except there was no fiesta. Just lots of sleeplessness and discomfort. The positive side of NOT sleeping from 1:50 am until after 5:30am is that I am in good shape for babies keeping me up all night.  Since I am feeling very musical, I thought I could sum up all of the physical, emotional, and psychological feelings I have right now with another song you definitely know. I now think that despite this feeling, I should have left my babies alone. The medical/societal pressure to deliver. Why? If Dr. C's arm being up in my cervix hurt me, I can only imagine how it felt to Phoebe and Kiwi. They were scrambling up towards my throat when she was up in there. I should have stuck to my guns and fucked her desire to "speed it up a little." Doesn't nature know better than her? Maybe they were meant to stay in there a whole 40 weeks. That would not surprise me. Too late now. Their cocoon is falling apart and they will be smushed and pushed out soon no matter what they/I think. Fighting your doctor every step is fucking exhausting.

Foiled Again!

By Dr. C
no labor
yes pain
no real contractions
DB lost today
I guess I can hope for tomorrow
even though it is even and i do not like that
my other option is Thurs
at the crack of dawn
also even
Off to not sleep
once more
soon i will be posting as a
single person
without two other people inside of me
how plain Jane of me
i want them out now
but labor is a bitch
and I am 37 weeks and 6 days almost
maybe I am meant to go to 38?

Today's Evening Comments

M- Let the pregnant woman rest.

J- Can you come upstairs?
Me- Can you wait for me one minute?
J- So you want me to poop in my pants?

Don't Try This At Home...

Just got back from Dr. C. I am officially in major discomfort pain/now. If you ever want to practice being in pain get a "stripping of the membranes" done, which today, essentially meant her manually dilating me. Yes,  it feels as good as it sounds. She thinks I will have the babies today but I never know if I should believe her or not. Last week she said she would have to do it a few times to jump start labor. Whatever. I am going to try to take a nap before the midgets get home in case I am having twins later today. At least the pressure I feel will be released. If they do not come on their own she is breaking my water on Thursday. I have to be in at 5am! for that. Two twins, coming to you, live from Mt. Sinai, straight out of the birth canal, in the next 76 hours maximum. AAHHHH.

Tye-red

I think this is the end. For the past 24 hours I have been truly uncomfortable and almost in pain. I cannot complain since it has only been a day (or two) and the end is certainly near. Seeing Dr. C tomorrow- we shall see what happens. Thursday is the deadline so there is no longer a mystery about when Kiwi and Phoebe will make their appearance. At least I will not have to field any more of the same stupid questions. I cannot wait for the new ones "are they twins?" "are they identical?" Off to bed to not sleep.

Dreams...

It is fascinating to me how many people have told me that they dreamt about me and giving birth over the course of this pregnancy, especially in the last couple of weeks. How bizarre. I hardly ever remember my dreams, and nobody ever tells me that they dream about me. Now I have friends and mere acquaintances telling me that Copy & Paste are in their dreams. I am flattered that they are making such widespread prenatal subconscious debuts. I actually do remember part of my dream from my almost non-existent sleep last night and it involved running the marathon and hitting a literal wall (an expression for mile 20 more or less when you cannot make it anymore and the real mental fight begins) and having to touch it and turn around to finish. Even though I wrote about running and labor yesterday I wonder if this is a harbinger for the wall of pain around the corner that I will encounter and have to surmount to finish labor. What a strange business dreams, especially when you consider permeating so many random people's nocturnal thoughts.

Sleepless in Harlem

I am not sure how much is physical and how much is psychological, but if I do not have these babies soon, I fear I will be too tired to push them out. In the last 24 hours I have become so incredibly uncomfortable in almost every position, that sleeping is a nightmare. The longest stretch I sleep is 3 or 4 hours and once I wake up to go to the bathroom to relieve some pressure, I am done, I toss and turn. I am fully awake and it takes forever (or never) to go back to sleep. I dread the nighttime. On the upside, I am not used to waking up all night long and maybe this will be beneficial to feeding twins. Nobody bet on today. So perhaps they will be born today. I have a feeling not though. There are very few contenders left. Happy Sunday!

Auf Wiedersehen!

To my siblings who bothered to bet, to my father, and most likely to C's boyfriend. No signs of labor yet...

Happy Birthday G-Man!

I thought I would give you twins for your birthday but I do not think I will make it. To a great brother and uncle, gym companion, movie buddy. May your birthday be ab fab and the year ahead bring lots of love and fun and good health. Thank you for sitting on my dollhouse.
XOXXO

Maternity & Marathoning

As obvious as many of these similarities are, I cannot help but point out...

1. Long term training/preparation for a difficult but pleasurable goal. I did the labor thing twice, the marathon thrice and I am appropriately going for a 4th time. 4 races. 4 kids. My goal was to do it within the year of the babies being born and it worked in 2005 and 2007. This year my mother and I will tackle walking/jogging the beast for charity.

2. You cannot wait for it to be over (labor) but then you miss the training (being pregnant).

3. The curiousness/dumb questions. "How long is that marathon?" "Did you try to have twins?" etc.

4. No pain no gain. This one is clear.

5. Breathe!

6. The weight- marathon training makes you hungry and lean and muscular. Baby making, well you are hungry and big but unfortunately flabby and deflated and stretch marked when you are done.

7. Spectators/supporters/commentators- Most of this is positive and I TRULY appreciate everyone's support in this pregnancy especially, which could have been hard... but ended up being great- the easiest physically (I still do not weigh as much as I did when M was born). When you are in the marathon, the cheering is of utmost importance as well, you do not want to let anyone down. The flip side of the commenting/inquiring/cheering, is when you cannot take it anymore. See below.

8. The end: When you have run 25 miles or 25.8 miles, you know where you are in the race. When you have gained 40 something pounds and your due date is approaching and EVERY person you see EVERY day asks you "When are/were you due?". "Are you still here?", "How much longer?"- as unfriendly as it is/I am, I feel like hurting them, just like the spectators drinking coffee or screwdrivers at mile 25 yelling "You are almost there." I know where the hell I am and it is not as close to the end as I need to be so ZIP it.

9. The reward: Obviously babies are better than medals. The feeling of accomplishment and awe at the human body is huge in both cases though. You get to keep your kids and love them and they are clearly 1000 times more important than your athletic feat. But, in my psychotic mind, there are some strong parallels that make these seemingly insurmountable tasks, a joy. The mental piece is clutch. The physical daunting. The emotional overwhelming. The whole thing: priceless.

Bye Bye

KW and the other two members of the three cool ice (unless I can pull the whole thing off in the next 5 hours??)

J's Deep Thought

"I don't think I will be able to handle this new rule in my classroom that I cannot bring toys from home in February."
When the hell did he get so articulate?

M's Musings

Two days ago M made a $100 bill out of paper and green marker. She gave it to me to buy two cribs.

Last night M turned her "candy machine" made from recycled garbage (a project from creativity week) and turned it into a donation box to place by our door. It reads "Put Money In Box For Haiti." This self-motivated fundraising has her very excited about having many people come to our house so she can send lots of money to Haiti.

Also last night,  M had some diarrhea and she asked me if she had to be on the BRAT (banana, rice, apple sauce, toast) diet today at school. I told her that would be hard but that she should avoid fruits and veggies and dairy. I saw her teacher in the cafeteria today and she told me that M requested "naked grains" for her diet today.

This Is The First Thing I Thought Of...

When I woke up. Do you remember the Wonder Twins? Dr. C was not sure but she thought that Twin A has moved out of the birth canal to let Twin B by and lock her/himself in. How odd she thought. How polite I thought. I think they activated their Wonder Twin Powers.

Who is Left?

Many of the people left are in my family, makes the unlimited access to babysitting prize even more of a perk:). Feb 3 and Feb 10 are both highly favored. Hmm..


Feb 2 KW Feb 2 (2 girls) - for a few more hours
Feb 3 My sister C (1 each)
Feb 3 My brother G (1 of each)
Feb 4 My father (2 girls)
Feb 5 My sister's boyfriend (1 each)
Feb 7 DB (1 of each)
Feb 8 Y (1 of each)
Feb 10 F (1 of each)
Feb 10 MB (2 boys)
Feb 10 AC (2 girls)
_________
Those below are out of the running I fear due to Dr. C's anxiety. I would just let them be born when they want to be born but Feb 10 is the deadline......Feb 11 SD (2 girls)
Feb 11 IF (1 of each)
Feb 12 AH (2 girls)

VICTORY!

Baby B is head down to Dr. C's disbelief. Bye Bye Epidural, C-Section and all of that Jazz. Dr. C and I are finally converging. It is insane how insecure she is. She mentioned two more times that she fears I will go into labor and not alert her. She told me that she thinks I must wonder why I chose her as an ob after each time I see her. I assured her (white lie) that I do not and that I like a challenge. It is ironic that I am the optimist in this relationship. I have thought positively the whole time to offset her worst case scenarios and it has worked. I called abuela to thank her profusely for her mental powers. These puppies are coming soon. I think this weekend but Monday I am back to the Dr. for her to manually try to stimulate labor (she insisted today as well but I stood my ground). If she does this Monday they will be born that night or Tuesday. Latest possible date, she is inducing me Feb 10. I pick my battles. I would just wait. But now that I am getting "my way" I can negotiate the details. WOO HOO. 23 days at 3cm and two twins flipped! Boom shackalacka...

Mad Men

Is my new obsession. Thanks T. My kids are only allowed to watch PBS and when they happen to watch regular TV, they immediately want any and everything that is advertised. "Can we get that?" they clamor in synch, whether it be a toy, vegetable chopper, or a vacuum cleaner. This morning, during some innocuous PBS "sponsored by" ads, M remarked "Ads are not true. They just want to make money." That about sums it up.

Who Knows 37?

37 are almost the number of weeks I have been with children, 258 are the day that I have been pregnant, 20 is the number of times a day people ask me "are you still here?" (here's a tip- save that question), and 2 is the number of babies I will have in a matter of days. ahhhhh. scary. I think someone else is losing the bet today. My goal at this point is to make it through tomorrow so I can have one more pt session today, my last visit to Street Squash, my last visit to Dr. C tomorrow and the painters can come finish the children's room. Once this is all done in approximately 24 hours I am releasing my "stay babies stay" mantra and whatever happens happens. Of course if I learned that B were head down (vertex), this would further encourage me to use my mind to deliver these babies between Thursday and Sunday. I will have made it past 37 weeks and surpassed as many hurdles as I could. February is here. Unfortunately it came with more shit weather (makes my ceiling situation and getting around tricky). But, it is here. And so am I. I am almost ready. Diaynu!