Delayed Quotations...

 To V: Do you want to be rich? I can knock out all of your teeth!

To me: 

How come you haven't smiled yet?

Are you sad about work?

Maybe you should be a teacher again

All pumped up:

I feel like I could kill a coyote... I did 97 push ups!

I want a little sister..

Firstable, they are playful.

Second able P (baby cousin) can play w them.

The third one she can sleep with us.

The fourth one is they are cuddly.

My bellybutton hurt.. it's sensitive. 

I am also sensitive with feelings. 

If boo-boos didn't disappear i would be one big boo boo

I have had 152345 boo-boos, which is possible on 5 and three quarter years.

There is no such things as magic! They are just atoms. 

One by V commenting on abuelos' art collection:

That's a good painting (A huge painting of The Colon theater)

(on a more abstract one): What a waste of a canvas. The canvas probably costs more than the artist ever made.

I wish we could go back in time because last Halloween party was epic!

You cannot judge by smell- it may smell like a cow's butt but tastes like a rainbow!

Long Time No Post

 No real excuse other than life.

It has not been so hot.

The wonderful parts are that we moved back to NYC and that all of the kids are healthy. 

In the last month and a half my father in law and Paul Farmer died. Suffice it to say that these have been huge losses that take up every minute of the time we did not have.

J's school turned out to be a military prison and I am now scrambling to get him OUT and into a decent public school for next year.

M needs to motivate and activate and get into college mode.

My job is less than good and I am paralyzed. In early January I was definitely quitting; COVID swabbing was preferable. Now I am almost certainly doing nothing of the kind; I have no more bandwidth to do anything. I will stay stuck. Cute at 46. I will do my best and try to learn and in 6 months or a year motivate to leave.

On a happier note, here are some recent F lines:

Abuelo R-your name sounds like Ravioli. I am going to call you Ravioli.

After a day at the beach, pool, and playground..

Me- ¿No estás cansado?

F- I am 2% tired.

Do you know there is no such thing as magic? It's atoms!

Can I have a chocolate chip cookie?

Sure.

Like 19.

F Thoughts

 Was anybody alive when Papi had hair?

F to F- Papi, you have a TikTok issue. 

F- On Mondays and Tuesdays I will work construction and Fridays and Saturdays I will do heart surgery. On my days off I will watch the news to see if coronavirus is stopping. 

You can fix almost anything. You can fix sinks, a toilet clog, he can make a TV (points to F putting legs on TV), he can sell anything, he can drive anything, he can carry heavy things, he can fix electric city, he can fix paintings, best omelet cooker in the world.

I learned to play "Harry had a little lamb"

We Made It!

 No real time to accurately document all of the trials and tribulations that it took to make it here.. but we did it. Thanks to PA family, the IRREPLACABLE L, MIA family, NY family etc the kids are having a great summer while F and I work like MoFos (think driving UHAUL from MA to NY twice in 2.5 days, moving two HUGE loft beds during a hurricane downpour etc etc) to build a cozy home in front of a construction site on a lovely block in the middle of Harlem. It has been intense. If I get the last job that I applied for (fingers crossed), we will be on our way to a real life.

Here are some F quotes for your entertainment:

This am at CVS: You have to admit you are going to buy me that (toy) car, when I turn 7.

When looking at a toilet adjustment for toddlers: I do not need that because I have a big butt and I cannot lie.

When I am 14 can I please change my name to AY-TON?

V, in reference to I do not remember what: That is just for older people or people who have 5 kids:)

F, the Smart Ass

 Me- Stop it or you are going to get in trouble.

F- I love trouble!

A friend- I like your Italian (red, green, and white) pajamas.

F- They are not Italian, they are Mexican!

F- What does that sign say?

Me- Read it.

F- Mom Boss. Boss? I never knew you were a boss! You did not tell me!

 V to ?- You are so stupid.

Me- Do not say that.

V- Sorry. You are not so smart. 

F this am- What does respect mean?

A few minutes later- What does mature mean?

Ha ha

 J told F he could not watch tv, F said: Not my dad, sorry bud!

Coming to a Screeching Halt

 So fun to write an ENTIRE post and lose it. Super duper.

Anyway... I was writing about the END of our sojourn in MA. It has been a very strange parenthesis. I came here with a toddler, two second-graders, a sixth-grader, and an eighth-grader. I am leaving with kids who have been locked up for what will be 15 months. The toddler is now 5 and has a mohawk. He loves math and will be entering kindergarten. The duo will be in fifth grade. He has an earring and glasses. She has braces and glasses. They are both avid readers and incredible at backtalk. J will be in high school, broken fibula hopefully healed. M will have her swan song at camp and then dye her fire-red hair back to a natural color to enter her junior year. Things 1 and 2 will have to learn to navigate the subway, school work, and the city at large; the noise, the grime, the speed, the PEOPLE. I will drag the kids to old haunts and new; exposing them to all the city has to offer.  We will leave MA. I will not miss the expansive square footage we live in as most think. I will not miss the dearth of warmth, figurative and literal that envelops us on Drumlin Rd. I will miss our dear friends K and J terribly; they have been the very best of friends to us. I will miss my partner in crime at BC, C. I will miss the Newton public library. That is it. But I am forever grateful for this chapter. Enveloped in guilt, we survived the pandemic outside the city. I got to be a student in my 40s. I get an ACT II. I am grateful to F, the best partner I could ask for who has supported me logistically. emotionally, intellectually, and financially every step of the way. I am very nervous about starting a new career in health care during a pandemic with limited skills to boot. I am so excited to have the kids back in robust schools. Emotions are everywhere. But it is already May so we are approaching the three-year mark of our exodus from NY. We will be back before our 3 year anniversary. All I have to do now is pass my final exam, graduate, pass the boards, get rid of most of our belongings, find an apartment.. and move!

F Today

When L said it smelled like dog poo in the garden, by some dog poop: What do you expect? Magic? It is poo- it cannot smell like strawberries. 

When A would not let him sit in her usual spot at the table he complained: Did you pay for that spot? It is not yours!

She kindly responded that she would throw him down the stairs if he tried to take her spot. He retorted: I will throw you down a lion's throat!

F Lines

 Not only are my ninja moves diffiult, they are fun too!

After hearing the radio say - you know....-

I do not know anything about that, I only know math.

When he learned that L would not be sharing a room with him in NY: What will happen on Tuesdays (sleepover day)?

Today

 Me- Your breath stinks!

F: It is mixed with V's. 

This week...

 Me to A: Are you going to practice piano?

A: First I need to shove my breakfast down the hatch!

Me to A: What are you going to miss about living in Newton

A: Being able to walk down the street and not get kidnapped.

Me to F: What should we get L for her bday?

F: A microwave.

Me: Anything else?

F: A tv, hers is too small.

M: Any other ideas?

F: A bed, hers is too big.

Later when he say her gift bags: That does not look like you have a microwave or tv in there!

F: Can T(dog) babysit us one day?

F: When we play the game, we have the power to not suffocate!

F's Plans

When I am 18 I am going to get a septum piercing and blue and pink hair with a mohawk. And cobra tattoos everywhere. I am going to do push-ups every morning so I can be ripped! I hope that my hands and feet grow more. I am going to look so cool walking around. They won't see the mohawk because I will wear a helmet when I am building houses and I will have a mask so they won't see my septum piercing. I also want one eyebrow pierced. 

A Questions Curriculum

 From an email to her teacher:

Dear Mrs. Z,

Sorry to bother you but I was looking up I-ready to log in, and saw some surprising common questions that were asked about it. I am not a fan of I-Ready, but I do understand it is part of our 4th grade reading curriculum, so when I saw these questions I decided to dig deeper. It turns out the I-Ready diagnostic is not good for kids. In the files you will see below, the I-Ready diagnostic is, and I quote " A dehumanizing assessment that causes stress and is overall, useless with no benefits." "It is a big waste of time and does not teach anything to students."  I am curious to see if you have any thoughts on I-Ready.

Just wanted you to know.

Kindly, A

F's Inquiries

 When I told him he would have music in school next year, F: Is it jazz?

Me: No, I don't think so.

F: Is it smooth?

When I asked him what he wanted for breakfast, F: Oatmeal and yogur de tomar and perhaps some strawberries?

Inquiry

 F- Is M a woman?

F (sr)- She is a young woman.

F- Is mamá full woman?

F, The Sassy Student

L to F: Soy viejita, a veces se me olvidan las cosas.

F: Does your brain need a cane?

F to L: Can you not say that my break is 5 minutes? I always have 5-minute breaks.

L: ¿Cúantos minutos quieres? (Yes, she speaks only Spanish to him and he responds in English)

F: At least 7.

F on finances

Me to (big) F:  Our credit card is out of control, we spent X dollars on it. We need to slow down!

F: no, keep going, you are going to get rich soon!

F this week

 F- What does "EIWGH" spell?

Me- I try to pronounce it.

F- Do you know what that means? It's dumb dumb in French!

F- When you are old, it is easy to crack yourself!

F explaining a scene to me:

They were holding the donkey hostage. They were so mean. They tried to impale the donkey. When they mess with that donkey, they mess with me!  (no idea what he was talking about but it sounds intense)

Thankful

 This year we each wrote what we were thankful for about each other on a piece of paper. Each family member got a piece of paper with 6 notes on it from the rest of the family.

What V wrote about A made me cry: She is the fun and joy of my life!

F on the toilet this am..

 Do I have another interview?

F had a zoom interview and assessment this week (totally normal for a 4 year old?!?). He was asked numbers, letters, shapes, and to talk about things that interested him. On the subject of bears of shared that he had seen one. The interviewer asked "Where can you see a bear?" F told her a long story about the time our family saw a grizzly bear while we were hiking and how we sprayed it with bear spray. He then added for good measure, that he has also seen a polar bear. 

interviewer- How did you see a polar bear?

F- When I went to the north pole.

interviewer- with you whole family?

F- No, just me and my dad.

interviewer- when was that?

F- 25 years ago!

F Learning

 F made this hand gesture to show me how close he is to knowing everything!

He is worried about all of the math he does not know "I don't even know 90 +44"

F on today's election

 I will just drive there and beat up Donald Trump!

F's Scientific Insights

 Do you know where pee comes from? Your brain!

What do germs look like? Do they have horns?

When I got in the car and it was stinky: Did you fart?

F: Yes.

Me: That is powerful.

F: I am powerful so that is how I make my farts. Weak people make them weak. Lazy people make lazy farts.

This AM

 J to F- I wish I were small like you.

F- No, you don't. It is horrible being short. I cannot even reach things up high that people hide, Trust me, you do not want to be short!

F- I would not go to the action figure bin. They all fart in there, it smells horrible!

 F was showing A a toy he wants for Xmas from an old book. A said: That toy doesn't exist anymore, you cannot get it.

F: Yes I can. I already ordered it from Santa.

Discussing last night's sleeping arrangments...

F to J: I slept alone because he (V) betrayed me!

Why didn't you sleep w A?

I have. In my life, I have slept with her but last night V betrayed me!

Trump is alive?

 F, watching the news, perplexed: Trump is alive? Really? This whole time I thought he was dead.

F today

 F, showing me a pose: It is not that impressive.

Wearing a mask is disgusting because you have to smell your own breath!

When I was in your belly I could hear Obama being president.

When I was a baby, there was a thornbush, and I didn't have my bday yet. Papi told me not to touch it, and I did and I got a thorn stuck in my hand. Along came a hornet and took it out with its stinger.

F Playing with Action Figures

 He is being brainwashed! L, do not look, this part is inappropriate for you!

All I want is a ZOOM

 F just said.

First day of online school for his four siblings. Lots of feelings.

All I want is no more fucking zoom.

I had 9 hours of class yesterday, 6 on zoom. During the 45th interruption, I began discussing piano practice versus going for a run with M. A few minutes in I heard my ethics professor say "Violeta, I think your mic is on." Mortifying.

The whole day is getting kids on zoom, snacks, food, garbage, try to read for class. Exercise? Try to talk to F, plan. Assignments due. Mine. Theirs. Paperwork for clinical. Freaking out about if I have corona. Fielding emails from elderly family members who think I am a doctor.

Breathe. We have food. And a house. And internet. This sucks but we are fortunate.

I am a nurse. Finally. I cannot believe it. I want to cry. For good and bad reasons.

Back to the grind!!

In his sleep..

 All of my kids speak and yell in their sleep. Last night F came to my bed and would NOT stop talking.

Among his comments:

I want cheese!

Down, T, down!

Farts do not kill you, they just smell.

No way Buddy

 F to T (dog) as he played with a sword that all the boys fight over: You are not going to break that on my watch. Oh no, buddy.

J to F: I am ruthless!

F to J: Yes, you are useless!

This Am

 V on M watering someone's plants: That sounds like a waste of money and time, and we don't have much of either.

A when I told her she would be continuing Russian math: Why don't you just stab me while you are at it?

 J on the dog: He does not listen to me like he listens to papi.

M: Maybe he would if you wore pants!

F on Mortality

I do not want to grow up because I do not want to die.

F on T (dog)

to F (father): Where did you get the dog shampoo? He smells like heaven!

to T (dog): What kind of puppy do you want to be? A chewer?

to F about T: He is such a cute dog. He's adorable!

F the Cynic

F on A's table manners: Where did you learn to eat? In a garbage can? In a truck?

F on V's table manners: Where did you learn to eat? On a farm?

Me: When you go back to school after coronavirus you can tell your friends you have a dog.
F: After coronavirus, the dog will be dead!

Olfactory Observation (OO)

F to me: We have to get some perfume in this room because it does smell like butt crack.

F F F F F

Me: You ate sardines?
F: Yes! It is fish. Do you like fish? It is the best kind of chicken,

F: Can you clean up this ant?
Me: Oh, it is in pieces.
F: Not pieces, I popped his eyeballs out so he could not see what I was doing to him.

F: Is Costco Chinese?
Me: No, it's American.
F: I am not American, I am Asian.
Me: You are?
F: We are all Asian in this family.

In HIs Dreams

All of my kids speak A LOT both while awake and asleep. I just heard F say:
No! If you do I will kick you in the teeth and then you will have no more teeth!

what.a.thug.

This week

F asked me how long I would be away at hospice and I said 12 hours. He asked how long he went to preschool and I told him he did about seven hours. He said: I have done a twelver!

F when he saw my belly: Mamá, your belly is the biggest. Everyone will look at it and ask "Did she swallow a rock?"

F when he got up: Fun starts with philosophy! (the letter F he means)

Some Llines

F- Can I have some seltzer (he's addicted)? I feel like my brain is toasting.

V to F (sr): Do you want to be reincarnated as a bear?

F on his action figures: They just woke up but they are not in the mood to save the day. They are not available so they went back to bed.

Me to F: You are my favorite 4-year-old in the world.
F: Do you mean the planet?
Me: What is this planet called?
F: South America!

L-E-G

F- Can I have some L-E-G?
Me- What't that?
F (annoyed)- What do you mean? Gum!

F came to me and (using my own technique) said: Choose mamá. Give me gum or TV
I replied that he should ask nicely and not be so bossy so he tried again: Please choose, gum or tv.
Me: Gum
F: Ok, gum now, and then TV.

It reminded me of "but first, a little mongo."

Can't Remember If I posted this...

F on V's flatulence in the car: I am not fine with these farts!

More F musings

I want L to come back. And I want my birthday present from her. This is not how it works for birthdays.

As he gave me a rock: Mamá, keep this. It will give you medical strength and medical power!

My birthday was amazing. It actually was. I got everything I wanted.

F and Da Words

F- I would be good at that, I want a violin so I can play "Old McDonald"
F Sr- Are you going to play the piano too?
F-Um, I don't have a tie.

F and flowery language:
I certainly woke J up!
Papi, you smell good. What shampoo did you put on you?
Papi says we can go outside because it is a wonderful day!
That is absolutely mine.
There is no need.
This animal is not stable because the frenchman ???

Am Fights!

F to M: I am going to destroy your phone while you sleep

Da Boyz

F on his bath- Doesn't it smell lovely?

V on F acting crazy on his bday- I think he has a birthday fever.

F on V touching his toys: He ruined my Paw Patrol paradise!

F upon opening a gift: What in the heaven is this?

V when I asked him why he cried when he got his ear pierced if it didn't hurt: It was emotional pain.

FFFFFFFF

F to V: What does that even mean, you rascal!

F looking at his steak, unwilling to eat it: But somebody killed this animal!

F fighting with A: I have already been a baby! I am going to be older than you. After all the letters, I will be 100!

F to me: Can you please text Buster (dog) and tell him to come?
Me: Dogs don't text.
F: (tía) C can read it to him. Tell them to come. Coronavirus is not that bad, they won't die.

F (unknowingly) calls Nacho Libre: Macho Horrible.

F's Rant to A

You finished the waffles? That is not how it goes in this family. You CANNOT finish all of the waffles. This is my house. You cannot finish all the waffles in somebody else's house. You are not the boss of my house! This is my house and I share it with you.

After screaming variations of this for a full two minutes, F started to cry. Corona quarantine got a brother down.

F the Wise

Me to J: What is wrong?
F: He is sad, he wants to be free again.

Birthday Cake Wish

F on his upcoming bday cake:
For my toppings, I want butter and cream cheese and dulce de leche and peanut butter, frosting, and whipped cream and Nutella. For the fruit toppings, I want strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries if you can get them.

Almost 4 year old Depression Sets in

F this am: Am I going to school today?
Me: No.
F: But is it a school day?
Me: Yes. But there is no school.
F: What even IS corona virus?

later..
F: J, get out of my room, I am not in the mood!
(J does)
F slams door.

This isolation thing is rough, even if you are only barely 4. 

F on NYC

So, NYC is the like the house of corona virus?

Yes F, it sadly is. It breaks my heart to see two of my favorite places on earth, Italy and NYC on their knees with people dying. When will it be over? How will we recover and what will that look like? I am sad and frustrated to be sitting on my ever-expanding ass in Newton, MA unable to be a nurse or an anything that can help during this crisis. FUCK YOU corona virus.

The Sass

Me- Get dressed, I know you can do it. You do it alone in school.
F: Do I look like I am in school? In school, I have that power, not in school, I do not have that power.

Deep Thoughts by (mini) F

Quiz with F:
Me: Who is older, me or papi?
F: You are 60, he is 100.
Me: Who is taller?
F: You are the same
Me: Who is wiser, me or papi?
F: L!

F to V: You know what is so sad? When I be a grown up I won't be able to sleep with you because I am going to be having grown up time with mami and papi.

F and A

F refers to his siblings as "the kids" or "the siblings"- I love it!

A explained diabetes to me the other day. Wtf? She said there were two kinds, type I, you are born with and type II you got from eating badly. Then she told me it affects your pancreas, where insulin is made.- Maybe I should have her study for me and tutor me?

Some Lines for Your Corona Entertainment

F to L: Look at your hands, you are not viejita. You are almost viejita.

V to F: Does it hurt to go bald?

Me to M: Go outside to get some air.
M to Me: It is gross outside.
V to M: You are gross inside.

F to L: If you die, can I have your I-pad? And the password too?

Amazing!

We are all stuck. Most of us are much more fortunate than the rest of the world. I am not sure how to manage the non-stop flurry of raids on the kitchen and the whack a mole action with technology. Exhausting. In my efforts to get them to be quiet (I still have a full workload from BC) and productive (since there is no end in sight and their brains may melt), I hid a school issued laptop in the oven. Why the oven you might ask. I do not use it much and F had already warned me that he had two bowls in there with bread rising in them. He warned me to remember they were in there. It seemed like a two for one. Cut to many hours later when I preheated the oven. 400 degrees Fahrenheit to heat up fish sticks and broccoli. Did I ever remember what was in there? Well, when the oven beeped alerting me to the desired temperature, I opened it to put dinner in. That is when I realized that I am not as smart as I thought. I baked that puppy to a crisp. All in all, it did not explode so I am grateful for that. The computer actually turns on, but F says we cannot use it because its integrity has been compromised. He did make a video of him turning it on post bake and tweeted it to Lenovo- the company liked it. I guess I did some free research for them? Now we know that it withstands high temperatures and that you should never ever hide something in the oven.

When i.t seems like it could be the worst weekend ever..

But then it somehow all works out. Sure you get a bunch of f()&()*&g annoying pieces of news via email and others ignore your important emails about topics as disparate as failing math, having to move and other small details but.. despite a bitch ass long week with no school (kids) and so much school (me) and no partner (in Mexico) you make it through thanks to L, the rock in the family. Steadfast and efficient, calm and kind, she took the kids to playdates, skating, Wegman's.. kept them fed, pianoed and alive. Now it's Saturday and L is gone and you have an exam at 8am on Mon and another one one Wed. Two care plans have been cranked out bt Thurs and Fri to focus on said exams. You contemplate driving to CT to a squash tournament to hang with tío G and get some "free" childcare. But it's too much driving and I do not have $180 to blow on a hotel. After all of this though.... it all comes together. You get 6.5 hours of studying done (yes I time everything) and the kids behave. You take them to the library, the YMCA (quizlet on treadmill helps get in the study time), Trader Joe's and after they eat lunch and do their piano you take them to ice cream, the park, and then your friend takes them to dinner and you sigh. Sometimes it all works out. I am 1 hour in to today's studying and hoping for the stars to align today as well because exam I is imminent and I have not looked at a word for exam II. F and M get back tonight from Mexico. Tomorrow will start w 8 am exam (another 4:45 wake up) and end at 11pm at the hospital. I would sleep in but I have to cram for Wed exam. I would sleep in the next day but I have to be at the hospital at 6:15am. After 2:30pm Thursday, I take a deep deep breath. Sunday we leave for PR and I consider sleeping, not eating shit (nursing school does wonders to my aging, fattening body) and enjoying my partner while taking a break from my kids. Life is good.

F Oh F

Can I skip bath?
Me- No. You are going to smell.
It's okay, I won't smell myself!

Why do you always work?

I love cheese because I am made of cheese

F talking to me about a girl I tried to reason with who is in his class: You are older than her, ignore her. 

Some F-isms

Esterday= yesterday

Green Planter= Green Lantern

Are we regular people? Can we turn into astronauts? Can we dress up as astronauts?

V, when I asked him to explain what "christeous" (Christian) was since he insisted on wearing a chain with a cross: You believe in Jesus, you go to church, you celebrate Hannukah.

F to abuelo in the bath: The H is for hot and the C is for cold and the 2 is for warm
Abuelo: Where is the 2?
F: It is imaginary.

That's the politely way!

F just told me "May I please have an ice cream?" is the politely way to ask.

V told M to bring her teacher an apple to suck up to him. F said: Bring a potato!

Where to Begin?

My (one and only) fan has been asking me to post. Not sure what to write about. So much has happened. I discovered that no matter where I live, I will always be crazy busy and overextended. I guess being anal and having five kids doesn´t change -- even when you move to MA. So I will never be a fan of this state, but it does have some redeeming features, mostly my wonderful friends/neighbors (two, and they are married) and the library- best place ever. BC has been a whirlwind- amazingly ludicrous volumes of work and a pace that required me to rise and shine at 4:45 am most days to stay abreast of the action. I am happy to report that I ended the semester well and I have about one week left before I reenter the world of nursing. Day one is my first clinical day in my maternity clinical. This semester is women´s health and pediatrics followed by psychiatry. It will be another crazy semester that ends in May but is quickly followed by two summer sessions sprinkled with the NCLEX licensing exam in between. Hard to believe I will be an RN (assuming I do not break BCś perfect pass rate) before the summer ends- sort of terrifying. Enough about BC.
The five maniacs are all well and sassy. I cannot imagine if any of these kids listened to anything that I said- they are indefatigable. I should have given them all relentless as their middle names. M has joined a running group, J is in the snowboarding club, A is starting an art class, A and V are starting track tomorrow, and F loves school!
Hard to have a complete thought around here- more later. Maybe?
Happy 2020!

Oh F!

F going into his room: I smell Ipad!

F on his friend: He called me a crybaby. So I grabbed his shirt (gestures grabbing it under the neck) and I asked him "Who's a cry baby now?"

F arguing with V about who had to go to school first: My school is more important, I have important activities!

Why are we here?

that is what F just asked me. He is almost exactly 3.5 years old, which means he has lived here for a third of his life (and I doubt he remembers the first year of his life...).
I thought he might be talking about NY but I waited and he elaborated...
Why can't we go back to NY? I don't want to live here. I want to go back to my old house. I like that kitchen.

I mostly agree with him (though not the kitchen part).

Some memories hold on. You can take the kid out of NY but...

End of September Chatter

V- There is a lot more kind people in NYC than in this community.

F- I don't want to be six.
V- You are going to be four first.
F- I don't want to grow up and I don't want you to get viejita.

L to F- Hay que hacer silencio.
F- I don't know how to do that.

F to L- Can you move your house closer to mine? Can you ask (your husband) to move it to Boston?

F- Mamá, I like you a lot.

F- By the way, I am a little guy.

F to A- Answer me A, I know you talk a lot.

Me- Te lavas los dientes en la escuela?
F- I told you four times, only on Sundays.

F when he saw me in scrubs at 6am- Where are you going?
Me- Hospital.
F- Are you going to lay down there?

Formaggio!

Can you put this (cracker) on cheese?

Can I have some cheese for dessert?
No.
Not a daddy cheese, like a baby piece.

Don't talk to me, I'm in a bad mood.

The Butter Mystery

F sat perplexed about why he couldn't see the butter on his toast.
I tried to explain melting to him.
F- How could the butter disappear if it doesn't even have legs?

Some Lines

?? Did we move here for papi's job for more money or for efficiency?

F- I love you the best in all the single world in the deal.

F- I made an Africa for the Africa animal.

F- V and I are boys. Sometimes we behave and sometimes we don't. That's they way it is

F- You are awesome and cute.

Me- Most people don't say I'm cute.

F- They say you are dumb.

A looking at a picture of her father: That what he looked like with hair? 

Me- Yes, I think he looks better bald.

A- Not really. If he wanted to could he make it grow back?

V when I told her my classmate was coming over with her baby- Is the baby in her stomach or in a stroller?

F to ?: Hurry up lady!

F when I told him we were going to preschool: Again? I already did that.

The third time we went- Again? Back and forth. Back and forth to preschool.

It's the Night Before...

many new beginnings.
M is off to high school! She is excited and ready.
J is a 7th grader, less enthusiasm, but also ready.
A and V begin third grade tomorrow! I remember when M went into third grade I thought she was so old.
F is home with his beloved L tomorrow and will take kids to their first day of school.
I will sadly miss their first day as I have my first day out in the world in scrubs. Yikes! This week and next, I will be working at a nursing home in the dementia unit. I am super excited and also petrified. Not sure I have any skills to share, but I do like the elderly.
This week will be more like a regular week (though week 3 the hospital rotation begins and it is 6:45-3pm) and I hope to be able to get into the swing of these classes and clinicals while managing the five monkeys!

F on My Belly

F loves to tell me how fat and squishy I am. I try not to take it personally. Ha! Today as I got dressed he told me how big my belly I was and I asked him if he knew why. I reminded him that he used to be in there.

F- How did you put me in?
Me- With papi.
F- Did he dig a hole?
Me- No.
F- What did he use? A battery? Tools?
Me- Love.

No further questions thankfully.

F the Potty Mouth Hooligan

F- Where are my fucking pants?
Me- What?
F- Where are my fucking pants?
Me- No se dice eso. Where did you learn that?
F- From my school.
Me- You don't go to school.
F- It's my own school.

F- That was a horrible beast!
Me- What?
F- I burped!

Musings

V- Kids always want to grow up but adults do not want to grow old.

A to F: You have a double chin
F: I really have two. One and two.

J- A boomerang is a frisbee with no friends.

V on A and camp- In the beginning, you were as shy as a rock.

F to V: You smell so bad, brush your teeth!

V- Would you like to be quiet or have me throw up all over you in parts you did not even know you had?

F: Wait a minute, I have an idea. When I am a dad and you are a grandma you can sit in the passenger seat.

July Lines

A- Let's pretend we are criminal masterminds and we just came back from the bank heist!

V- Mamá, what were your glory days?

Me to F: Sí mi capitán.
F: I am not a captain. I do not have a boat.

V- Is there a job with just reading and eating and drawing

I think the job for me is comedian, but I want to be a scientist.

F- I love this day. It's a little portar bien and a little portar mal.

V- You are not old, you are wonderful.

F- And squishy.

F- Can I say little suckers? 

Me- No.

F- Is it a bad word? Can I say big suckers? 

Me- No.

F- But I love it, I say it all the time.

F- I don't want a shirt so I can look at my muscles!

some lines...

F, on subway- It smells so bad! Maybe a pig pooped here?

F, when I asked him why he did not take an action figure of his uncle's from his abuela's house: I did not take the toy because tío (D) will be back when he is little and will want it.

V at the beach- So far,  I'm not having fun.

? to F- Can you share your pasta with J (cousin)?

F- He can have zucchini.

 V on a parental decision- The words have been spoken!. 

V & F

F- I have something sad. If someone has no dad and no mom.

V- Unlock the door!
F- Okay, Jeezus.
V- You do not lock the door.
F- Yes, I do, I am pooping.

V- Will I grow over the summer?
Me- Yes.
V- Will my hair grow?
M- What hair?
V- On my body.
M- You will not go through puberty this summer.
V- Oh.

F after he smelled a fart- It is like V's mouth in the morning. Smells like garbage.

This week's lines...

Me- Are you two best friends?
V to F- I now announce you two best friends. You may kiss your best friend.

On our way to Russian Math, V- (tía) A helped me with my homework so if it's wrong, it's her fault.
A- It's not going to be wrong because she is a genius.
V- Oh yeah, she goes to Harvard.
A- Duh!

Me to F- ¿Te gusta Ben?
F- I love A the best!

V, after putting on "Old Town Road"- This gives me math energy!

Oh F

F- Can you dip cheese in pesto?

F to his friend when he wanted to drive at the zoo- That's ok. You can drive. I will be the mom.

F, tired on the hill to our house- Now I am out of batteries.

F on a bee- It's really not awesome.

F to me- Why is your belly so fat?

F after I explained to him where I and F were from- What is my flag?
Me- Estados Unidos. United States.
F- No! New York!

F- Let's see if they have cheesy ice cream!

These Kids

A- If there is a speed limit in biking, I definitely just broke the law!

V when I asked him about not sleeping with F (they spoon every night)- I have to get used to sleeping alone for when I go to college.


F when I asked him the same question twice- Stop asking or you are going to lose your job!

Morning Truth

V- If you think about it, F gets 75% of the attention in this family.

F the Misogynist Hooligan

F-Can we go home?
Me- We are home.
F-No, I mean New York.

When F got out of the car, F- Why are you going to drive?
Me- Because I am the only adult here.
F-Moms don't drive.
Me- Yes they do. I drive you everywhere.
F-You are a silly woman.

When he went to drink water that had been in the car since yesterday, Me-That is hot. Do not drink it.
F- It is not hot, you crazy woman.

Hooligan #5

Me celebrating no pee in the pull up: No hay pis!
F: There's a little bit of fartss!

F as he tripped: Aw, shit!
Me: ¿Qué dijiste?
F: I said "shate."

F: Why you always call papi puchie and he call you tesoro?

End of an Era

F to me: If you give me tv, I will give you a lollipop. If you don't, you don't get one.


F also told me he was my boss today. Ha!

This crib, that I did not even buy, sitting on the sidewalk in Newton, made me oh so sad. This little man is 3 years old now. He clearly does not need this crib. We all agree. It was a great one our neighbors lent us. Then they opted to not have any more kids so we brought it with us to MA. It is a classic drop-down side one, ie illegal to gift, sell, or donate- hence its sad demise on the sidewalk. My factory is officially closed. While we knew this before, this confirms it. I could not possibly have another child for many reasons, but if I were a little younger, richer, and had a nursing degree... I would. Once a looney, always a looney.

Fuuuuuuck New England Weather

After many months of over 1K (you read correctly- we could have fed dozens of children in the developing world instead of half-assedly heating our home) heating bills, I pulled the plug. It is April. We can be chilly if need be- it is Spring for goodness sake. Well, not only has it been chilly and raining a lot (some teasing warm days sprinkled in) but I may have to eat my words. It is currently 55 degrees in this house (38 outside). Heeeelllp!

This week

V on his piano teacher: He is overrated.

F after pooping: Holy smokes! That was gross.

F to me: Look at that leaf stuck to my (car) window.
Me: That's funny.
F: It's not funny. It's not even cute.

F at 8:40am this morning as we pulled up to the gym: I want to go home and eat tortellini and get in bed.

F before his first swim class (in a year!) this week: I am going to fall into the pool and get lost.

F to me: I like my new house!
Me: Oh good. (please not that it has been almost 10 months since we moved here, ie a third of his life).
F: After this house, I am going to go back to my NY house.

Today

V- Do dentists go to the dentist?
Me- Yes.
V-Then that dentist has to go to a dentist. What if they run out of dentists.

V- Are pull ups a higher level of diapers?

V looking at brownie stuffed pretzels- They really get creative with making stuff you want to eat.

Yesterday..

V to me as I got ready to go out for dinner- You look beautiful, as usual.

F to me at the table after I scolded A for taking too much food- What does it mean to "eat with your eyes"?

Final March Lines

A,  after walking in on her abuelo in the shower- I just saw abuelo R naked- now I have to kill myself!

F , when he heard his siblings'  Zumba class dancing to a song from the movie Sing: That's not their song! They are going to finish it.

F when he woke up in the middle of the night and could not find my hand (he sleeps with V but on the inside side of the bed)- I am here. Do you see my eyeballs mamá?

V to M: Open your mouth. Your canines are perfect!

V when I asked him if he lied about bathing (tub was dry): Yes. I am sorry. It is a habit I am growing.

V when I asked him what he was doing in J's room: Tittying up!
Me: Tidying?
V: Cleaning up. (not sure where tits come in or where he gets his vowels)

A, when the pediatrician asked her what she was sure she would not be as an adult: A mathematician or a pianist.

F in March

Out of the blue- Mamá, why you always say puta madre? (I do not)

While shopping at CVS- Ooh la la, look at this (anything) so bootiful.

When I said he could watch TV- Can you put something happy for me?
Me- What?
F- something that will make me happy.

Miami Musings

J to F- You punk!
F- I am not a pumpkin!

V- Do you buy a book about being a parent or do you just have a kid and figure it out.

V getting out of the car at abuelo R's office- He is CEO of like the biggest company in Miami!

Latest

A to V: Do not steal my fame tomorrow at my party.

F to my friend M who was watching him: Hold my hand down the stairs. I'm big and fat and I might not make it.

F when I told him to pee in his diaper on road trip: Mi pañal no es un toilet!

February Folly

F- M said I can't tell you so I had an oreo.

A- I have never been to a funeral but I have the perfect dress!

V: Will you be mad if I am a rapper who curses like Eminem when I grow up?

Me: No, but I think you are going to be a scientist.

V: I can be both.

F as a man spoke to me at the JCC: I hate these people!

A: Now that I think of it, Newton is very peaceful.

F to his friend: I know these are all your toys but you have to share with me. What can I do? I don't have any my toys here. I don't have anything!

(after he wouldn;t)

F: Mamá, let's get out of here they are not sharing!

(little) F to F: Hurry up!

(Big) F: Why?

(little) F:  So Christmas can come!

A when I asked if I could see a letter a boy sent her: I like to keep my personal life personal!

F the Jokester?

F to me: I don't want to take a bath.

Me: Hablame en español por favor.

F: I-ah don't-ah want-ah bath-a!

What Do You Want to BE When you Grow Up?

F: Tiger. Farmer

A: Youtuber or artist

V: Scientist.

J: Snake breeder

M: Crime lawyer

Más

F to me: Eat this gummy bear. It is good. I promise.

F to me: Can I have pineapple?
Me: ¿Dónde hay pineapple?
F: En tu culito.

V: If I do not have a girlfriend by the end of college I will be gay.

V: I suck at sportsmanship and at sports. I am a sore winner and a sore loser.

? You could hire a babysitter. I can't believe you have not done that yet.

F: Terminé. Hallelujah!

? :I suggest that if your last name is Lee you name your child Bracka.

F: I farted. Is that so funny?
Me: No. Its rude.
F: Es un poquito funny.

A: Russian math is improving on my mind.

Something

V to F: You are a bad boy.
F: So I am a bad boy? What are you going to do?

F: ¿Dónde está papi?
Me: En el trabajo.
F: ¿Qué es el trabajo?
Me: Donde papi va y ayuda a la gente y la dan plata y él la usa para comprar comida y otras cosas.
F: Oh! Me gusta la comida.

V to A: If you get Snapchat when you are older you will waste 29% of your life on it.

In the car listening to music:

F to A: Oh yeah, work it out.
F to me: Get your power on mamá.

Me: Vamos Fede.
F: Estoy mirando la nena. Es muy linda.

F flirting with a different girl 5.5 year old at the library: My muscles are coming out.

V to me: Do you believe in physics?

F lingo:

Neckliss (Netlfix)

McKantiles (Magnatiles)

Facing your Fears

Today I am 43. I do not feel old or sad or anxious about aging for the most part. I am somewhat relieved. First and foremost 43 is an odd number ("Hallelujah" as little F would say) and secondly, I may be finally evolving. I will be completely honest. Moving has been brutally hard for me, much harder than I had imagined. Maybe part of the problem is that I did not try to imagine it. I was tired of my job, tired of the schlepping on the subway, of working at night.... ready for a change. How could I pursue a nursing degree while sending five kids to a private school and live in Manhattan? I came to Newton and it was desolate. Everyone was on vacation. We lived on a ghost street and F was in NY for a week finishing his previous job. I started to have to drive everywhere. Yuck. I joined the JCC and everyone was rich and spoke Hebrew. Yuck. From living amongst all African Americans I went to celebrate the days I could spot one. I had a bad attitude. I cried. I was not going to be able to sleep listening to fucking crickets. Why were people here so unfriendly? Turns out that is their resting face- they are not actually being actively unfriendly- I think. Why were they almost all deranged sports fans? That one I cannot answer.  I have always been uber aware of working to not come off as a snob. Argentines all think they are superior, I do not want to be like that. Private school people have the same complex- not me, I would be down to earth. I got here, where they actively (almost unbeknownst to NY) compete with my hometown and I am the worst snob. Fuck Boston. I am a New Yorker. Forever. This sentiment, while true, would not help me. I realized after reading an article that my former head of school sent me that I was in mourning. Mourning the person I used to be. Who the hell was I? Not a Spanish teacher after twenty years of being one. Not a New Yorker, at least not on a daily basis (but always in my heart). Nobody knew me or needed me like in the old iteration of myself where I organized, connected, and helped at all the institutions I was affiliated with. I was not even a nursing student. Even though I was 10-20 years older than my BMCC classmates, at least I had them. I spent the fall taking microbiology online and preparing for the GREs. Mostly I spent them thinking about my old school/job and going to farms with little F. He was sad. He missed BT and L and had to get used to being with me and in the car. All. The. Time. I knew one very nice woman from grad school- she has her own life. That was it. While F went to a wonderful job and began another part of his career, the kids began school. We knew nobody and had nobody to help us. I went to the elementary and middle schools and could not help compare them to the one in NY. Apples and oranges. Private versus public. I did not know a single parent or teacher or rule after having known them all, always. I ramble and digress. Every trip back to NY has been hard and wonderful and great and sad. I no longer belong to the school. I have wonderful friends and colleagues and they tell me how much they miss me and this warms my heart. But then I remember Newton, the suburb where I live. I began to go the JCC religiously in September for the free child care (I have yet to lose a pound or an inch). I go to the library many times per week. F and I food shop and nap together. My best friend is two. He is a funny and smart two but still a two-year old. We talk about snacks and cows, chickens and tv, ee-i-ee-i-oh and caca. He eventually stops crying when F goes to work and the kids to school. Recently I decided to try to surrender a little more. I invited a mother from the JCC for a playdate. She is a nurse! She has a hard and also lonely life even though she is from here. I had previously read her as cold- I was wrong. I finished my BC application weeks ago and now I wait. Vulnerable and unsure if they will take me. If I do not become a nursing student, what will I be? I think for now I will focus on being a good mother and wife and a better version of myself if possible. I want to enjoy this finite time at home that I never had or will have with a child again. I want to acknowledge that I am fortunate and have no real problems. I want to hope that being scared and untethered will make me stronger. I want to be brave. I hold on to the new/good parts. I already have so many good/old parts- amazing siblings, parents, friends. The new: Zumba Gold and POUND with Ketty- the kindest woman I have met here. Fun and fit she is a woman in her 50s who hugs me and invites me to her house because she remembers being new here. The library- huge and amazing- we go there every week and take out books, movies puzzles, and even instruments! Five children who have had a relatively easy transition to public school and a new life despite it all. A partner who supports me literally and figuratively (the former irks me but I breathe and try to accept it). A new friend? The chance to start a new career at 43?! Not many people get that. I do not want to be from here but I will work to do a good job being here. May 43 to 44 allow me to grow and accept.

My fortune according to A

"you lead a depressing but happy and good life"

¡Caramba esta nieve!

F this am on the weather situation