Terrific Tuesday

Today was a FULL day. My only regret is not having put the midgets to bed. I had my longest day at school, followed by a conversation class with a mother I love right by school, followed by Street Squash (love it!), PT (what an improvement from last week!), tutoring and back home to pay the (pretty new) sitter who is slated to help me with the whole crew of four soon. I then made most of dinner for tomorrow (dear friends coming over) and watched a strange but entertaining flick. Whoo-ees! I am ready for la camita. Hasta mañana.

Recent Comments

M to a friend yesterday morning:
Do you know why we are on the bus? My dad is in Italy and he usually drives us. Can you imagine if the twins came out now? That would be a mess!
J to me:
When I am a grown up I will not have you. I will have my drum set and Mora will not be my sister. She will be my friend.
J to me this am:
Can you please buy some candy to put in a package to mail to M (his BT buddy)?
J to me after I fell:
I will give you a band aid when we get home. You fell because you were running. That is why you should walk.

The Upside

Of tripping and falling and bleeding through my pants this morning (knee area) is that my wart seems to have been scraped off in the process. So, I did walk many avenues uphill with MoJo crying like a baby because my knee hurt, but we did eventually catch another bus, the wart will maybe stay away, and these pants were getting small anyway.

Health Update

So there's good news today. My back is much much better (not that I want to jinx myself) and if I were religious I would thank the lord. I thank my good luck, physical therapist, and my abuela's "control mental" (an a la Shirley Maclaine method by which you think about and will something to happen, or not). On another upbeat note, I saw my ob today and we had a heart to heart. Even though she admitted that she would want what I want were she in my position, she also admitted her fears (throwing around once again cute phrases like "putting my medical license on the line" or "if you cannot get the second baby out it can asphyxiate") but I think we will meet each other somewhere in the middle. Closer to my side of course. The doc would like to schedule a delivery with these high risk doctors that she is affiliated with who actually believe in (gasp) a second twin's ability to come out naturally regardless of the position he/she is in. So, like two imperfect puzzle pieces, we are slowly drifting and grinding to find a fit. I realized that my doctor is kind of young, immature, and insecure. After inquiring how many twins she delivered vaginally (not too many), I assured her that after me she would have a happy story to tell and that I would impress her with my delivery. I realized today that one of the many problems we have, is that hardly anybody pregnant with twins wants to attempt a vaginal delivery. Even though I feel exactly the opposite way, I get that my anomalous requests are foreign and threatening to my doctor. I am convincing her to have faith in me and to trust me so that I can do the same.

Super Sunday

I must say that today was chock full of activity, very little back pain, and great behavior from the midgets for the most part. We kicked off the day with some cartoons and breakfast before heading over to a friend's house for a playdate (they have a 5 year old son and a 3 year old daughter). Then it was off to Queens (3 damn trains, did you know that the E can ONLY go downtown at 50 St and that you must go down to Times Square to catch a Queens bound E?!) to meet a friend's new daughter. Kind of boring for MoJo but they behaved well. 2 hours later we reversed our commute for social meeting number 3. It was at the playground and the sun was no longer out so I was c-o-l-d but kids enjoyed running around with another two pairs of siblings that are their ages. We got a ride home just in time for play date number 4 (dinner and bath with J's beloved BT best friend and her little bro). I am happy to say that we dropped off hand-me-downs at play dates 1,3, and 4 and some cookies/chocolate at number 2. It was a nice full day despite the absence of F, gym, movies, tutoring and other usual Sunday suspects. I am really happy that J had a chance to see his buddy (he recently told me that he missed her and wanted to send her chocolates in the mail). When I praised him for his behavior, I asked, "Who did great listening?" He replied, "Me, today. But not tomorrow." M asked me for paper to draw (standing next to me as I read email). When I glanced over she had written "I hate you mom and papi. pyriod." When I asked her why she was mad, she kept denying having written "hate" (it was the most legible word) even though I insisted I was not mad and that I knew she did not hate me. I found this note on my desk later "Am sorry mama and papa. I rilly am." Cannot beat that. Buona Notte!

Saturday Blues

I am watching In Treatment on my computer. I am missing F who is not even on the plane yet. I am sad that my back is not 100%. I am happy that tomorrow is Sunday, but we have a lot to do tomorrow and then comes the long work/school week, which I will face alone. Like countless other times. But I am larger and more tired. And the thought of doing this in a few months with four children, is well, quite overwhelming. I am digressing into depressive and boring chatter. I am okay but not too inspired to write as you can see. I will be back on track with some more midget insight and happier tunes soon. It has been nice to have a real loong weekend, it is crazy how quickly the holidays are approaching. Buona notte.

J's Smart Ass One Liners

As I directed him to put away items in his room,
"I am not an octopus."
When I called him a midget,
"I am not a midget. I am a person."
When F told him to clean up his room.
"You are telling me to do two things and I have one arm." (Math not his forté)
When planning his sleepover at his aunt's.
"I am going to stay up late and sleep until late. Yeah yeah." (What really happened is he went to sleep 15 min later and woke up 30 min earlier!)

No Pain No Gain

As I almost felt sorry for myself yesterday, back pain not having fully subsided, I had an epiphany. I was much more mobile than the day before (improvement) after a stretching session at the gym but I still had a few pangs of bitch ass pain electrify me when I sat for too long or got up too quickly. But then I started thinking about how I know it will get better and pass, it has to. Furthermore, what could better prepare me for what lies ahead (weighing 1000 lbs, labor, sleep deprivation) than some pain along the way? Who was I kidding when I thought I could casually pack on 20-30 lbs (so far..) in a few months and not have my reconstructed spine fight back? Well, then I went to see 127 Hours with my family and it gave me more perspective. My pain is nothing compared to what a human can endure. When I woke up at 5:55am with a violent charley horse, I did not feel sorry for myself or violent, I felt okay because my back is better. It is not normal, but better, and I am confident that in a few days I will be able to not have my back at the forefront of my thoughts.

Happy Turkey Day!

While I have mixed feelings about this historical significance (would Native Americans be down with this so called holiday?), I do like to think of it as a long weekend to kick back, enjoy food (I am very grateful that I am a vegetarian), see family, and as cheesy as it is, give thanks. If not in a tangible way (everyone likes to do community service for the three seconds between Thanksgiving and Christmas and then never again), it is at least a nice opportunity to reflect on how fortunate we are, how unbalanced the world is, and to consider doing something, anything, in the months to come to offset this phenomenon. We are heading over to abuela's, children in tow as well as some completely homemade lasagna for me (thanks f!), to hang out, fight, eat, and then see a movie tonight. Thanksgiving night movie outing is one of our traditions. Bowling was another until all alleys decided that it was not worth staying open for just our clan. Hard to imagine that we will have two 9 month olds to bring with us to this meal next year. MoJo is high from the prospect of their double sleepover, last night at their aunt's and tonight at abuela's. Enjoy the day!

More Social Justice Thoughts by M

M-Who decided that we need to pay for everything?
Me- Well, it's not that simple. One person did not decide, it is a system to make it organized.
M- Well, it's not fair for the people who do not have any money.
Who can argue with that? It's the truth Ruth! I had no good come back.

Back to Back Crap

My back was sore yesterday. Today it hurts. I think and hope that is due to the long car trip on Sunday. But is sucks. Big time.  You truly cannot appreciate feeling well until you do not. As I struggled to stand from the rug this am during a Pre-K class, a little boy whose mother is also pregnant, inquired "Is it hard for you to get up because of your belly?" (I wish, it was the back pain). Later when I opted for a chair instead of getting all the way down to the rug, an older child asked me "Are you sitting in a chair because your back hurts?" These kids remember what it was like when I was immobilized by pain. On the upside, when I went to PT this pm (ouch!), a secretary who I interact with every week saw me (she is usually sitting behind a tall counter and I am standing in front of her) on the other side of her desk, she was shocked to learn that I was pregnant. I am happy that you cannot tell my size from just my face. I hope that this pain will pass just like it did this summer when I was temporarily set back by a violent action I did in a car. It is beyond frustrating to be uncomfortable and to walk like Frankenstein. Keep your fingers crossed.

Recent Comments

Upon seeing the carpeting in the room in Boston:
J- I like how they sewed the rug on.
Upon my cleaning the sleep in his eye (scary):
Me- Is there a bunny in your eye?
J- No, there is a rhino in my eye!
Going home yesterday:
J- It was a long day. Can the twins be born now?
M (as she drew random huge numbers):
This is how much people need to pay to babysit me.

Tete a Tete

Wish I knew how to make those pretty French accents. Oh well. Twins A & B have finally moved/posed in a new position. Just had a twin growth sonogram during my lunch break and... they are both feet down, heads together. Very cute that they are putting their heads together. Less cute that it is in the wrong direction. They have some time to flip I suppose. They both weigh 2lbs 6oz, which is apparently a good size even for a singleton (and a pound more each than they weighed a month ago), and with less than a 1% weight difference between them, this is one less thing for the doctors to freak out about. Doctors do not like it when one twin is outgrowing the other by too much. So, I chug along. I am tired. And large. And after saying that I looked smaller than the random woman in my 26 week post, I must retract. All of a sudden I look even bigger than she does. Off to teach some more and possibly pass out on my bed once I get Mojo home and in front of the television.

Letters To Santa

Dear Santa,
I love you. Can I get a big blue drum set? And can I have batteries too?If it runs out, can I have some more? Please. I love you. J (dictated to me)

Love M. (written by her and started with a signature)
I want a thing that will surprise me. I love you Santa Claus.

Boston Here We Come!

So this is my first post from an i-pad, my mother's favorite toy. We are on a train to Boston to go to a language teachers's conference. We are a family of dork Spanish teachers. My sister is on her way by plane and my brother by bus tomorrow. We are like the Jackson 4 of Spanish teaching but with less rhythm. Between the four of us we teach the gamut from nursery students to seniors in high school. My mother and I have been to many conferences together in the past, both as presenters and attendees but it has been a while. This weekend, with all of the family in tow (F and Mojo arrive tomorrow pm) will be a memorable experience. It already is. In order to catch a 6:20 train this morning, I slept in my old bed in my old room, with only two babies kicking me but no kids calling me during the night. It is quite strange to feel like the child again, with my mother kissing me goodnight and no kids for me to go check on. Other than two surgeries and three days in Paris last year, I have not ever left the kids. My spouse does not think this is normal but I do not care. Last night M gave me a kiss for tonight as well. This will be a healthy 40 hour break. Hasta luego.

26 Weeks: Growing By The Day

This is not me. I look a bit smaller than this (thank goodness!) But you have an idea of what a 26 weeks along twin pregnancy belly looks like. And it will only get bigger and bigger, until I give birth in February. So I think I am now officially in my third trimester, which will most likely be the shortest and maybe the hardest. I am not sure how I will be able to balance, much less put on my shoes when my belly doubles in size. My twins are in a T shape. One is always head down (twin a) as if ready to come out, and twin b is horizontal. The latter is supposed to magically flip head down so that the doctor is ready to deliver. Tension with the OB aside...I feel guilty admitting this, but I feel great. When the school year started there were 8 !! of us teachers at work pregnant. Since then three have delivered (two boys, one girl), one is due in a few weeks, two are due the same week as I am, and one in April. While I am not the youngest or the oldest of my colleagues, I am definitely the one with the fewest complaints/complications and the only one with twins. I can only hope to stay well and  positive. I had PT today and my therapist looked at me incredulously when I said I had no pain (on the famous 1-10 scale). Am I jinxing myself? I hope not!

Evening Comments

M (when I picked her up at her playdate- what a bad idea on a late Thurs) - Can I have a sleepover in my lifetime at G's house?
J (coming up the subway stairs) I tripped because of the litter (going up the subway stairs). I want the policeman (on the platform) to arrest the people for littering.
J (coming up the stairs in our apt) -We need a new apartment because our stairs are breaking. One of the holding bars is moving.
J's Thanksgiving project on the board outside his classroom- I am thankful for all of the superheroes.

Community Service Day!

Well, it's not really a day, just an hour, but I am excited about it anyway. A couple of years ago my school decided to turn our saints's day into a service opportunity. As the community service coordinator, this means that I get to find projects for all of the children grades N-8 (about 350 kids?) to do. It is actually quite fun and inspiring to have this much say in what/how we do to teach children about community. Projects included having nursery students (ie  my son) work with 4th grade ones to make a wreath for the local soup kitchen (nursery students will deliver these next week before our annual food chain so they can see where all of the food goes), 7th graders singing at the local nursing home, first graders baking brownies and making cards for the local firehouse (to be delivered tomorrow), 8th graders peeling vegetables at the church for the soup kitchen, second graders making vinegar with rosemary from our greenhouse to sell at the PA holiday fair...you get the idea. In any event, I was lucky enough to be imbibed with the helping spirit as a child and I am grateful to try to inculcate this vibe, one kid at a time, at my school. Tomorrow the 4th graders will go clean Riverside Park for the second time. I will not be there (language conference in Boston) but I know it will be fun! As Thanksgiving approaches, along with all the other holiday fanfare, I like Citibank's motto (what is wrong with me quoting Shitty Bank?)- This year, let's but giving before thanks. I encourage you to find a meaningful way to do something, no matter how small or how many times a month (even 30 min per month) to help out somewhere.

Bus Comments

J-We are like giants to nature.
M- Thursdays are dark days in my mind.
M-We are so lucky that we have a house and food. We are even luckier that we can get stuff that we want not just stuff that we need.

Lovers's Fish

Last night we went to the Mermaid Inn for dinner, where in addition to a yummy cup of chocolate pudding, each diner gets a fortune fish (red cellophane fish that you lay on your hand and then observe). After dinner tonight, I gave each character one to assess their fortunes. The key on the back of the fish envelope indicated to both M and J "in love." When I asked who he was in love with, J ran to his sister and hugged her abashedly stating "I am in love with you." When I asked M, she coyly responded, "I am in love with someone in my dreams. He is blond and I think he is from TV." Romantic puppies these kids are.

J to My Belly

I love you twin babies. I do not know when you are coming out.

Pediatrician Time!

So we started off the week with a visit to a new (but not really improved) doctor for the kids. Insurance complications prevent us from staying with our old and beloved doctor Jackie so we switched to one closer to home, affiliated with Mt. Sinai (where twins will be born), that takes our insurance. The place was tiny and kind of depressing so I am not sure that we will stay there (newborns go to the doctor every two seconds so I will be spending a lot of time there). Some highlights of the visit included J asking me if a door marked EXIT in the examination room was an escape door, the antiquated doctor telling each child to look away while she examined the other's privates (ha!), and the nurse telling M that drawing blood would not hurt right after I told her the opposite. I fail to understand what the point of lying to children is. Of course it fucking hurt and she cried as the needle had to stay in for two minutes to draw all of the blood out. I was asked lots of age inappropriate questions (too easy for M and too hard for J) and MoJo could not, would not, follow directions during the hearing tests. It is truly possible that they are both deaf. J's eyesight test was amusing too because after asking me if he knew letters (no!) they used a symbols chart but those were weird too. Nothing normal like smiley faces and apples but rather one symbol was a plus sign (or a crucifix or the red cross symbol, depending on how you see it) and what the hell was he supposed to call that? There was a mug which J called "teapot" and I guess they deduced that he is not blind. So, the good part was that we were in and out pretty fast and I learned that M weighs 56.6lbs!! and J 38. She is in the 90s and he is in the 70s for percentile of height/weight. Nothing too surprising. Happy Tuesday!

J's Deep Thought

If i get dead I will never never be alive. That is what happens to you in the city.

Found It!

In case any of you were as upset as I was about the bundle of joy (metrocards, receipts etc) that I lost last week.. I found it this morning in a secret compartment of my bag. So secret that this dumb ass forgot about it. While I cringe at all the pay per rides I wasted, I am happy to report that I had not (thanks to good advice) replaced my monthly yet, so I am still thrilled to have found my unlimited. I am easily pleased when it comes to saving money.
PS As my brother likes to say "Fuck the MTA" whose service is scarcer and crappier by the day as they continue to hike up prices!

Ms Bossy Rude Pants

Just heard a crash of lots of something little in kids's room.
Me- What is that?
M- None of your business.
Me- That is incredibly rude.
M- Sorry sorry sorry, but stay where you are. I will handle it okay?

Who the hell is this child and what is she doing in my house?

Last Minute Comments

Over dinner...
M- We are so lucky because we never have any trouble doing anything.
Me- Like what?
M- Like seeing. (to J) Do you know that some people cannot see?
J- They wear glasses.
M- No, I mean they are blind. They see what you see when you close your eyes all of the time.
(later at dinner)
M (to me)- Do I have the bag inside of me in case I can be a mom?
Me- Yes, your body is ready to be a mom when you are older but you have everything you need already.
M- But I don't have a watch.
As I kissed J good night on my way out to dinner with a little make up (rare for me) on...
J- You look like the Addams family.

MoJo's Social Commentary

Upon my admiration of a group of bikers...
Me- I'm going to ask Papi to buy me a motorcycle when I grow up.
M- Yeah right.
J- You will fall out like a sack of potatoes.
About their Tiemann grandparents...
M- It's funny because abuela S. goes to sleep so early and gets up so early and grandpa goes to bed late and gets up late (in reality my mother is the freak who wakes up at 4am). They are opposites.
Me- Abuela S. is weird and grandpa is normal.
J- Grandpa is NOT normal.
M to her friends on the bus...
You know what is sad? People are going straight to Christmas and skipping Thanksgiving.
Me- There is not much to sell for Thanksgiving and they want people to buy a lot for Xmas.
M- They could sell turkey t-shirts.
J remembering a crazy bitch we saw on the bus hitting her toddler and yelling at him like a maniac...
Next time I see her I will tell her to stop and not to hit his face. She probably is not even his mom. She doesn't know how to be a mom. She should give him a timeout not hurt him.
Me- I think she was his mom, she was just not nice.
M- That baby should have been adopted by someone nice.

M's Evening Comments

M (Before bed, same question)- Why doesn't Nonno G. stay with us?
Me- He has a girlfriend and the couch is small and he wants priavcy.
M- We need a guest room or something.
M (crying that she did not want her medicine)- Why do I have to take disgusting medicine? The last time I took medicine that tasted good was a lifetime ago.
M (As I tucked her into bed)- What are we going to do when the twins come? We need a nanny or something.

Morning Inquiry II

J to F: Do you like being bald?
F- Not really, it's ok.
J- If you had Bello's hair ...

Birthday Late Night Edition

"It's just my birthday. I cannot believe people are calling me from different countries"commented M who was unflappable until she opened her princess gifts (then bonkers with joy).
Thank you to all of the friends and family who helped M celebrate a great great birthday (week!) and thank you for all of the lovely cards and gifts and for coming over on a Thursday night. M is fast asleep now, covered in hives (Claritin wore off) dreaming of wearing all of the tacky accessories she received today to school tomorrow.

Milestones

My eldest is 6! I am at 25 weeks of pregnancy and I just noted that my/T's blog has 2001 hits!
Exciting day.
11-11- I always did love that number!

Morning Treats

I bought Merengue cookies and Munchkins for M's M week birthday snack.
J- Can I have a chipmunk?
Me- You already had one.
J- Then can I have a rerengue?

Happy Birthday Princesa!

So you are six years old today. WOW! Exactly 6 years ago to this minute you were still 3 hours and 8 minutes away from being born but you were certainly already a presence. As I writhed around delirious from labor pain (I would fall asleep and snore for 30 seconds at a time in between contractions!) I could not wait for you to be born. We did not know if you were a boy or a girl but we knew that we loved you and wanted you with all of our heart. Now you are a sassy 6 year old, covered in hives (pobrecita), ready to do almost anything without my help. Growing up is hard for you but it is also hard for me. I love you more than you can ever know until you have your own kids. Happy Birthday Frupaloop!

Viral Urticaria Anyone?

It is now 6:32pm. Kids in tub. 12 hours after this problem began, 3 cabs, 45 phone calls and one doctor visit later it seems that this is what M has. Not very revealing. She has to take over the counter drugs and not take the antibiotic which may or may not be the culprit.
Today was a challenge. In addition to medical issues and endless negotiations in person/email/phone for space for a benefit for daycare, community service next week, I misplaced a little bundle with my metrocard (unlimited of course), a pay per ride, some cash and receipts. This made me very sad each time I took transportation. I have since taken 3 cabs and paid for three pay per rides. I booked to tutoring post school and then to return some items at nearby stores and to see a space for a benefit. Cab to school to get kids to take to pediatrician where we waited a loong time to learn what I have already revealed- not much. Drusgtore. No children's Claritin there. Other drugstore. Got it. Cab home. No ingredients for M's bday snack tomorrow. Dinner & bath. Downtown to Sarah Bareilles concert (fun! thank you G). Store for ingredients. Not happening. Will be a trashy mother who buys the treat at Dunkin Donuts tomorrow. Rifle through the recycling on the sidewalk at 11pm in hopes of finding metrocard. Negatron. Home to wrap and  decorate for M's big day. Off to bed. It is midnight. Buona notte!

Elephant Hands

So as we are booking out the door this am, M mentions that her head itches, her hands itch and she starts scratching herself like a madwoman. Lice F asks? I say, no way. With such vehemence and sudden impact? The backs of her ears were bright red and her hands were swelling and red and itching like crazy. What to do? We were just at the doctor so I call a dr. friend and hope that she and the nurse at my school (Saint Regina) will figure it out. Dr. friend says bus bite reaction. Nurse not there. Her medicine cabinet open so in the interim I slather M's hands in calamine lotion (now they are really pink and big!) and make her gulp down Benadryl (he age and weight are not on the box but I am almost a doctor right?). Saint Regina says it cannot be bug bites because there are no signs of bites. She suspects an allergic reaction to the antibiotic (pink liquid crap she has been taking for 10 days for last week's strep). Says I have to speak to our doctor. Easier said than done. Been on hold (second call today) since I started this post. AAHHHH. Just saw M at lunch and I asked her  (hands looked better post Benadryl and worse already 4 hours later) if they hurt/felt the same/better. M responds "All my fingers feel weird but it's okay." Now, our family is known for ugly sausage fingers. Mine are ugly but model-like compared to my father's, whose hands are delicate compared to his brother's (think elephant man). Poor M, she  now takes first prize for ugly hands as we figure out what the hell she is allergic to. I recently let out pediatrician know that I needed our files because we were switching doctors (new insurance). Since then, M has had two emergencies so they probably think I am kidding calling every week. Off hold. Someone will call me back. But I will be busy teaching so the phone tag will continue. Oy vey!

Breakfast Menu

J requested scrangled eggs. Anyone else?

Deep Thought

J- I do not want to be old.
M- Do not worry, you will be a little for a long time.

I wish this were true!

HI/LoLights

High moments of the day..

1. Making final Truck or Treat deposit, our school collected over $1,700!
2. Meeting a very nice potential mother's helper for January who has worked for a family of 5! young kids.
3. Play date w/ J's friend where M & J played nicely and were told they were "so polite."

Lows:
1. Taking the subway in the wrong direction with two bags of Trader Joe's groceries after an evening PT session. 42nd St is not where I wanted to go.
2. Learning that my wart liquid has dried up and I will continue to have the same wart on my knee until I die.
3. Hearing my son teach his classmates "tetas", "conchita" and other inappropriate words in Spanish class (okay, maybe this was a highlight)

Morning Challenge

M- If Santa dies who will replace him?
Me- He won't die.
M- Everyone dies.
Uh oh, common sense and intelligence are conflicting with childhood folklore.

We Need The Mayor!

This is wat M said as she held her arm in the air a la Statue of Liberty. She laughed hysterically as she said that was how we could solve if the twins would have names in Italian, Spanish, or English.

As F carried J up the stairs in his arms, J commented "You are not all bald, I see some hairs on your head."

As J counted his piggy bank (piggy back according to M) mula he said "This money is for Santa to help him get me my drums." I am sad to report that he staunchly and desperately wants a set of real drums (help!) for Xmas. Maybe we can put them in the bathroom next to a crib!

Marathon Envy

The NYC marathon is tomorrow and I am beyond excited and jealous. It is truly, as cliche as it sounds, a testament to the human spirit. My brother is the only one in our family running this year (we usually have 2-3 runners) and we will spend most of Sunday spectating and trying to provide support for this amazing and grueling challenge that over 40,000!! people are taking on this year. If you have not seen this live, you MUST and if you have the slightest athletic ability, you should consider running in this beautiful race before you die. You will be hard pressed to find another day in which literally a million people lining the streets cheer for YOU, you get to run behind the best in the world and share the field with runners in wheelchairs, with one leg, old, fat, everyone pushing for a crazy goal. You get a nice running tour of the city and you ultimately prove to yourself that it is possible. I cannot help but cry when I watch the marathon. I may never do it again, but I had the privilege of running it twice. Go G-man RUN!

Bowl-o-rama!

What do you get with seventeen kids, mediocre pizza, and a bowling alley in Harlem? A fun fun morning (no sarcasm). M was a champ in her French hand me down dress (from me no less- saved by abuela for a quarter of a century!) with lots of smiles and no problems during her 2 hours party with friends from in and out of school. Some parents stayed, mostly friends of ours, family came (from Fla! even) and lots of fruit punch was consumed. Feliz Cumple Princesa. Hard to believe it has almost been six years since you were born. May the week be full of birthday festivities.

Birthday Girl Prep

As I am dressing M for her bowling party (real birthday later this week) I warned her that her red patent leather shoes will be replaced with bowling ones.
It is okay, I will still look glorious.
She responds.
Glorious indeed.

Evening Banter

On violence...
J to me- Do you punch bad guys?
Me- No, I do not.
J- Then how do you fight them?
Me- I don't. I call the police.
M- Yeah, calling the police is always better than wrestling.

A few minutes later at the table...


On religion...
J to M et moi- We forgot to say grace.
Me (to them for the umpteenth time)- We do not say grace in our family because we are not religious.
M- My friend C is religious, he says grace (ie prays) before he goes to bed.
Me- Everyone is different. We do not do that in our family.
M- Yeah, thanking G-d is like thanking Julio (my deceased grandfather whom she never met).
Me- How is that?
M- Thanking a dead person.
J (perplexed)- Nonno G. is dead?
Me- No, my grandfather Julio.
J- Who did he fight with?
Me- Nobody.
J- Was he old or sick (our standard death explanation)?
Me- Yes (as I jot down notes).
M- Is this going in the blog?
(pause)
M- You know what you can do if you miss a dead person? You could write them a note and go to the roof  of your building and throw the note in the wind and pretend that they are going to get it.

Crap, I am running out of easy answers.

Basta Pioggia!

Every damn Thursday it rains and it is an odyssey to get home. Enough! Train/walk/cab to tutor followed by walk/long ass bus (no cabs!) back to school. Up and down looking for MoJo. Find them but not their stuff. Up and down some more. Cab home. Too tired for gym. Now I am doomed and have to go Fri-Sun. Getting slower and larger by the day. Crap. Off to bed. Jam packed weekend ahead. Buona notte.

Evening Comments

After J refused to kiss his aunt, she told him she was not going to give him a kiss when he asked for one.
His response, "I know, I am not going to ask you for one."

M on J while watching a home video "J you look like a delinquent there."

Happy Birthday Choclo!

No, you cannot be ajo.

Stroll Down Memory Lane

Today I tutored on the East Side and walked from one home to the other. I walked right past my high school, past my first real home in NY (East 87th St. Claridge Club) and past my old nursery school. It was strange and soothing to see how little many of these places changed. The big building on 87 St is where my sister, now 29 was born. It is where my father filmed way too much of me dancing and changing costumes (and blurting "fucking asshole" to my toddler brother who interrupts the show). My brother threw many many items out that 29th floor window and we would collect the pieces in the court yard below. As I looked at the unchanged typical Upper East Side building (first and last with a doorman that I would ever live in), I wondered, what would I tell my four year old self? What could my four year old self teach me now? It is hard to believe that three decades have passed and that my parents divorced, each had more kids (mother one and father three) and that they were my age now when we lived in that apartment. Time is crazy and I guess I have a pretty good memory/vivid imagination because I remember much of it crisply and fondly. I am so happy to have grown up in New York and so grateful to still be able to live here.

Tonight's Deep Thoughts

J on the can- Poop comes out very quietly

M at the table- I was thinking that there is us, the lucky people and there are the poor people. If you gave someone a pencil they would say like "huh?" but a poor person would appreciate it because you have to respect stuff.

M to me- Why doesn't Nonno G. stay with us?
Me- Because he is more comfortable in a hotel.
M- Oh, so he can get a pizza delivery?

Charlie Mother Horse

I woke up at 5:30 with a charlie horse (nothing new) that seemed to subside and then only got worse after F stretched my foot/leg out. Round two and three were like electric shocks up my hamstrings and into my ankle. Lovely. Bitch ass intense pain. I guess this is one of the bonuses of being pregnant. Do not tell me to eat bananas or drink water because I do. I have some sort of curse on the right side of my body (where all of the varicose veins are) and a major proclivity for violent spasms in my right leg. Now I feel like someone has been hammering my calf muscle.

Today's Comments

J on his way to visit his old day care for the first time since graduating "I wish I could have two schools." Nice that this acknowledges that he loves his current one too.
J when M said maybe I had two girls inside of me "Then I am not helping to take care of them."
M to her teacher when she caught her eating candy in the cubby room "These are pills my mother gave me because I am sick."
M to me when I asked her wtf candy was doing in her bag "I do not know how it got there."
M to me when I told her to climb off a fence because I was tired of waiting "You think my brain has skills to go faster than it does" (it is true that her climbing skills leave a lot to be desired).
A student of mine who asked me if my babies were going to speak Spanish was surprised to learn that my two kids do not speak it now "You should get them in here (Spanish classroom)."

Pregnancy Etiquette Post Mark

Yesterday I saw Dr. C and she gave me her third or fourth speech about being open to a C- section blah blah blah and told me that I had a romanticized notion of childbirth; that it would be the two of us in a room laboring. Is she crazy? There is nothing romantic about being ripped in two and I do not consider a vaginal/normal birth to be romantic in anyway. She reminded me that twin births are always in the operating room, that there are two of everything more blah blah blah. I told her that I had faith in my ability to deliver without drugs or surgery and that I had faith in her that she would help me do it. She thinks I am a good candidate for this insane (i.e. normal) plan but that it was not her job to make me feel better but rather to prepare for the worst and "you would not want a brain damaged child." No shit, I am not that stubborn or stupid to jeopardize a baby's health because I am against C- sections. I thought mentioning a brain damaged child was classy. But, not as appropriate as a grandmother from my school who chatted me up about my pregnancy in the elevator later that afternoon. She told me she was once pregnant with twins too and I smiled and said "Oh, so you know what I am getting into. How old are they now?" She proceeded to tell me that one was her granddaughter's mother (whom I know) and the other one was born asphyxiated, dead, and that it was so sad. I was not sure what to say other than sorry (and "What the fuck is wrong with you for telling me about a dead twin?) and I told her it must be hard/strange for her daughter. Her response, "Oh we never really talked about it." Thanks for sharing!

More J One-Liners

When I asked M why her Barbie (which is really annoying and hard to dress) was undressed again, J replied "I naked her." So much clearer than undressed.
When I asked J to have mercy and not make me carry him more than across the street (his legs "hurt") I asked him,  "How many kids am I carrying?" Not one for math, he replied "I am protecting the twins" and wrapped himself more tightly around me.