When Your Brother Is An ASSHOLE

You can call him one, right after he has called you a bi-atch (that's right, he speaks in ebonics to be extra cool) during a game of Boggle. This should not come as a surprise since your mother always sets up this weird paradigm where you and he are the fat smart ones (typical back handed compliment). Vicious insults even though I was losing the game. My other brother from the same mother is wise and still not here. Will arrive late tonight.As I write, J yells out (as if he had Tourrets "my penis." Me- Your penis what?, J- It struggled, Me (as I try to not piss in my pants), Struggled to do what?, J- to get in this car (points to new wooden car he is playing with). Me- How do you know the word struggled?, J- I learned it when I was a teenager. I digress I know but my son is a lot more interesting and smarter than many of the other people here. My spouse suggests not writing such caustic comments about my brother online for "all" (all 4 people who read this) to see. Who cares? This is my therapy and why should it be kept secret when you act like a jerk? Anyway, J has been cracking jokes right and left today. He told me he did not want to have tetas when he is a teenager and that he will not kiss his sister if she has them. I told him all girls grow up to have tetas and that boys are worse. He asked "Because they fart and burp and pick their nose?" Bingo. More on our scintillating family dynamics later. PS Abuela I is working hard on her "control mental" to flip twin A. I keep reminding her which one has to turn so that she does not inflict any further imbalance on the situation:)