Strange Kids

M to J: Don't touch my private parts!
Me to J: J, that is not okay. Do not touch her.
J: I did not, it was my foot, under the covers. You do it with papi.
Me: Excuse me?
J: When you are in the same bed, under the covers, your feet touch everything.
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M: Not to be mean, but if J did not exist, I would behave better. He riles me up and encourages me to behave bad.
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J pointing to Canada on his placemat: That is where G-d lives.
Me: In Canada?
J: No in the "N", everybody knows that N stands for G-d.