Banter...

M: How much is it to have a baby in the hospital?
Me: A lot. But you have insurance.
M: I am deciding if I want a midwife or a hospital. But I am going to get insurance

J: Do you think I should be a garbage man, a recycling man, a drummer, a scientist or work in a soup kitchen?

J: You better shape up mamá.
Me: Why?
J: Because you have a hernia.

A: I want to go to BT!
V: No, I go to Miami! I need to go to Miami.

V to J: I do not need your high five (ouch!)

Yay! Booh.....

Let's start with the bad news first. I discovered a lump by my navel yesterday and to make a long story short, it is a hernia. I have just fat (yum) poking out through the weakened abdominal muscles (intestines would be an emergency) and I may or may not need to get it repaired. It is depressing to be so defective. How many operations and problems can one pseudo healthy person have? Put me down for quadruple wisdom tooth removal, double knee arthroscopic surgery and two microdiscs. What the duck?

Okay, the good news is that J can read!! Not like fluidly or anything but the process has taken off. Very happy for him. Also, V peed in the potty last night and tonight. He proudly called abuela and said "I peed in the potty. I talk to grandpa." Once he was on the phone, V upped it to "I pooped on the potty." He is ambitious. If this streak continues, he will get to choose big boy underpants- an item I will actually splurge on for this midget.

Off to feel bad about myself and my dilapidated body (CAT scan revealed all sorts of signs of my broken self) and to eat something.

New Ones

As J yelled at A, V interrupted: Don't hit me Wakeenee.

A, as F blew in her face: Papi, don't blow me, blow Gaffar.

A to V: Sorry.
V: Don't do it again!

Me to A: No me pegues en la panza (don't hit my belly)
V: Be gentle with mamá's baby.
Me: No tengo un bebé pero tienen que ser "gentle" con el bebé de C.
V & A in unison: Arrorró Mimito, arrorró mi corazón.

M: Before Martin Luther King, when there were racists still, I saw that bathrooms said colored or white. Would they have made me go in the colored?

A to L: V need a timeout.
V to L: Don't listen to A.

PS

I forgot the best part. The joy on V's face and the hug that he gave A when they were reunited after a (long for him) 3 hour break up. Too damn cute when they spontaneously kiss and hug. True love.

Oh What a Twodler Day!

AleVit started their day by taking the subway, with their 9 month pregnant aunt to BT (brave on both of our parts). They were apparently impeccably behaved at 7am as they headed for a special (auction won) breakfast pre BT hours. V later reported:I have pancakes with sauce in the toddler room. The sauce is sticky in BT.

As if there were not enough of an aberration from our schedule, A went for a special play date with a classmate after BT. She got picked up by the mother, went to their house, had dinner and ice cream, played, and came home at 6:30pm (what a curfew!!) on a bicycle (with a helmet), with her friend's dad. If that is not a kicking social life for a 2.4 year old, I do not know what is!

Little Talk

V, as F cursed looking for his keys : Papi- you don't have your keys? Use your hand to close the door!

A, whispering to her teacher at BT: I drink mamá's coffee.

V: Abuelo L not do a sorpresa to me in playground today.

Me: Querés que me enoje (do you want me to get mad)?
V, smiling: Yeah.

Me: Sit down and finish your dinner.
J: I am sick and tired of you bossing me around.

Busy Bees

This weekend has been bursting with MoJo activity. We had M's first piano recital on Friday (she did very well and the whole event was only 15 min long!). Sat am brought the usual triple swim, followed by the unusual schlep to midtown for J (from swimsuit to tie and jacket), who participated in a special piano concert with his piano teacher. Playground in the pm rounded out the day followed by 7!! 45 min episodes of The Killing (I recommend this show) that kept us up until 1:40am. Poor choice. J began to cry (as did A) and the am brought a dr's appt (J has an ear infection) and a swim meet for M (J abstained). Duo behaved like maniacs at the pool (A stripped down to her diaper, wore goggles and insisted she was swimming, V threw a croc in the pool) and I took them home once F arrived with our mohawked ear infected J. M got a first (breast stroke) and two third (freestyle and backstroke) ribbons. Yay! Off to Costco & Target before we go do a family father's day celebration. Camp begins tomorrow!

Yesterday/Today

J: When I die can you bury me with all of my stuffed animals?

V: I fight a big doggie.
teacher: Kids do not fight doggies. It is dangerous. You need to be gentle.
V: I fight a little doggie?

V when he could not make the park water fountain work: No tiene baterías?

V to an intern at BT who was about to change him: You need blubs (gloves)!

Me: Hoy viene papá!
A: I'm going to kiss him!

J after listening to a conversation about labor: It is like poop. You have to push!

J (while pooping): I am about to get very hungry because food is coming out of me. I am undigesting. Is that a word?

These Kids...

J to F as we walked up Lenox Ave; Let's have some me and you time when we get home and play with my action figures okay?

J when I told M that she looked like a young lady, gesturing breasts: This process already started.

J when he saw two dead bees: Please can I have them? I have been alive for six years and I have never seen a dead bee!

V to himself in the car: Don't throw up!

Me to M re Harry Styles (her celebrity crush) and Taylor Swift: You are more interesting than Taylor Swift but you are a little young for Harry Styles.
J: And he would not like you because you do not have boobs or hair on your butt or your conchita

Things To Remember, Be Thankful For, Record

Abuelo L flying from MIA to NYC for 29 hours to take MoJo to see Paul McCartney! Once in a lifetime experience!

J's first mohawk- hours before the concert. Rock it!

Leaving the house without a stroller recently and seeing the parade of little people going down the ramp, all mine, all talking and walking. Crazy.

Seeing tía C, about to become a mother, maybe for the last time sans bebé- in for the ride of her life. About to become an aunt for the first time!! Will any other sibling give me sobrinos before I am in a wheel chair??

Attending my 20th (WTF?) high school reunion and remembering who all the asshole were/are- some things never change!

One more day of school and then moving up, graduation, camp prep.... each school year goes by increasingly fast. By fall I will have a first grader, a third grader and two kids in the Big Kids Room! How did this happen?

Midget Talks

V: I threw my babero. Mamá's gonna scream. Are you watching "Good Luck Charlie"? I am.
(he narrates his every thought like this very often)

J to me: Your hair is dull.
Me: Boring or not shiny?
J: It is not fresh.

A, every time I drink coffee: Mamá, mamá, I try jew coffee? A sip?

A & V every time we leave without the stroller: I run ahead?

J: I am going to be a robber when I grow up.
Me: What?
J: If I cannot get a job.

V: L se porta mal. She jump on my bed. She was bleebing (yes with a b). She write on the wall with a lápiz. She throw food.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

one day late but still heartfelt- happy anniversary to E & C who next time this year will celebrate as 3!!

Más

V to A as he pushed his stroller: Excuse me dalring!

M to V showing him pictures of One Direction: Who do you like the best?
V: I like the Beatles!

V to anyone who will listen: My little doggy is going to bite you!

V to A: Is your oatmeal hot?
A: No.
V: Is it bueno?
A: Yeah
V: Oh, ok (I love hearing their random conversations)

A this am: Mama, mama, mama (the more excited we are the more we stutter), do you want to play a game?

V, who clearly has the memory of an elephant like his sister M: I want to go to Miami.
Me: Qué hay en Miami?
V: I wanna see the flowers in the pool.
Me: Qué más?
V: Churros!
Me: Qué más?
V: Some buckets.

V: I am going to make the music (bangs) and you can dance A!
A: No!
V: Dance! When I stop the music you stop. I need a guitar.

I wish there were a baby memory competition. V would kick baby butt. He could also make us rich as a voiceover actor for cartoons, if he would just learn his lines.