Aaaaaand We're Back!

Vacation time has come to an official close with the return to NYC. Road trip to NC via DC and Philly, topped with Sesame Place was a hit. Despite no washer and the shaggiest and nastiest rug ever we had a blast. Beach was beautiful, dunes were cool, pool was nearby (and I drove the kids there myself!). Highlights included fishing for J, mini golf, watching both midgets cry at an amusement park (they had to stop the rides), snuggling with baby M, and spending time with C& E. The volume of crap to deal with (mail, laundry, unpacking, appointments) is overwhelming but I am trying to get ahead before school starts up again. Here are some lines from the last few days:

V: Mamá, you say puta male?

J: Who decides if you get buried or burned?
Me: You do.
J: So John Lemmon did not have a chance to decide.

V likes to call people: Pee in the butt (he means pain).

We recently discovered that he is a parrot and that he has a flawless memory. He started chanting in the car: I hate piano! I want to skip piano (perfect imitation of J)

M: Do you think I will be a great driver like papi or an average one like you, no offense?

Me to V: Do not worry.
V: I have to worry. I already worried.

J as we left before dawn: Is this the speck of dawn?

V to me: I give you a timeout.
Me: You cannot. I am older than you.
V: I am older.

M after crying because C had left: I just want  you to know I love you as much as I love C.
V: Oh, thanks, I feel better.
M: I just have a special connection with her.

Summer!

is coming to a close. Miami was fabulous- our hosts were gracious and patient and generous as always. Tomorrow morning we are off for a mega road trip to NC via DC. Twodlers have been up to their antics destroying homes and (sort of) potty training (more on that another time). When grandpa came over to day bye tonight, he said to duo "Here's trouble one and trouble two" to which A responded, "You are trouble three!" When V ran like a maniac down the street (and almost into it) I sprinted to him and asked "what do you think you are doing?" to which he replied: "I am superman!" I look forward to these days out of town and to the beach with C & E and baby M!

What M Read This Summer

27 Books.
No Joke.
More Than I have Read in YEARS.
Top is all Dahl, middle Magic Tree House, then Diary of A Wimpy Kid plus many light (Chocolate Fever) and not so light (Alice in Wonderland) others.

T"was The Night Before School

Or the morning before the morning before school I guess. Well, today is the day I finally get to see and be in my new classroom. As exciting and amazing as the renovations are, I was basically a waste of space and time in my school last week. We have not been able to get onto the second floor. Today is the day I need to make it happen- unpack boxes (which I can only hope are there), arrange furniture (which I have never seen), pray for the computer/Smartboard to be connected (although I have been told that I can only use it for display, they are no interactive yet), and wrap my mind around the start of school. J only has 1!! hour of school tomorow so we are still not in the child care clear. Yesterday we had our first swim lesson (all but J) and the babies did not love it. A, who pounded the beach, cried most of the time (cold? bored?) and V enjoyed it until he didn't, and then we had a chorus of crying, with 50% of the class (AleVit) unwilling to be dipped any more, sing any more, and eager to exit the pool. More later. Buona domenica!

Calando Huevos

Today we thought we would wrap up the summer break with a bike ride! For only $12! we rented two adult bikes with baby seats, all the helmets, and set out with the other monkeys to ride in Central Park. M got angry about the hills and uttered such goodies like "I am going to kill the person who invented family bike rides" and "I rather get stung by fifty bees than do this" or "this is the worst day of my life." The rest of us were having a ball, especially A, riding behind me, who dedicated herself to kicking me and trying to lift my shirt off. At one point in M's meltdown we saw some Spaniards on bikes. The eldest daughter, who could not have been younger than eighteen, was complaining more than M. I tried to give her a tip about the gears, she yelled at her mother "Joder, estoy yendo como cagando huevos (literally shitting eggs, I am assuming referring to her effort because she was in the wrong gear). I had a full throttle laughing attack and turned around to see F was also cracking up. Cagando huevos, very poetic. Moments later J said "let's go mamá, let's catch up to calando huevos!" This summer has been long, it has been impossibly trying, super fun, full of activities... I am not sure I would do it again (not work a single hour and always be with children) but I am lucky to have had the luxury of having it. Goodbye summer 2012 and hello 2012-13 school year. Off to work in the morning!

A The Saboteur

She will not nap and she will not let her brother nap. I do not think this is a choice at 1.5 years old. Because I took her out to let him sleep the other day, she smiles at me and asks to get out. She jumps and laughs and mocks any attempt I make to get her to settle down. When she is not riling her brother up, A's technique is to wait for him to be asleep and then to yank the pete out of his mouth. Then he shrieks at the top of his lungs, I move her, and we start all over again. After 1.5 hours of this crap, I just took her out and she in an extended time out (ie stroller jail). I do not want her to "win" but I guess she already has. Impressive considering my age and experience, outsmarted by a one year old. I wasted all of this time, V will take a short and crappy nap, and she will take no nap and be miserable. Viva BT and viva my job!!! In a few days I will no longer deal with these shenanigans!

Some M Lines... Stay Tuned for More

M- I cannot believe that everything was quiet- it is very rare with four kids.
__
M on the new boy's name I read to her on her class list- Do you think he is cute?
___
M: I feel like second grade is going to be a break.
Me: Vacation is intense huh?
M: Yeah, with four kids vacation is never really a vacation.
(my sentiments exactly)

Check In

When you spend as much time with your children as I have recently, you get a lot of love and a lot of insults too. J is the most up and down. On any given day he tells me that he loves me and am "the best mom ever" as well as that he hates me and sorts of variations like "mothers are bad and fathers are gooder. You are no longer in my family." He has gotten very fresh at times, and what could seem funny and cute to some, is actually straight up back talk. He was so naughty yesterday (admittedly a boring-ish day- MoJo had to come to the doctor with me and to PT- but they got a nice lunch out and playground time as well), that when I told him to "listen" on the bus and he answered "no, you listen", I realized just how fresh this midget is. It is hard to believe that it is almost September. It is also hard to fathom that M's first full day of school is not until Sept 10 and J's until Sept 12- help! This has been the most intense child summer ever. I have never, before this summer, not had a job. Not a single tutoring gig, no camp, nada. This coupled with four children, two of whom are way wilder than they were last summer (AleVit is a terror!), made for a tiring summer. We have had fun. We had madness. We have done many parks, museums, tv, the pool, you name it, we did it. When I am back to (a just renovated and gorgeous) school Sept 4, I will miss the kids, but it will be good for all of us. If I get too nostalgic, I can find two in my place of work, as well as know that AleVit and I have our pre 7am daily milk date. In a few years when none of them care about me or need me, when I do not hear "mamá" 30000 times per day and prepare 24 meals and snacks per day, I will wish I had basked in this phase more. I already miss them as younger versions of themselves and then I realize that they have to grow up, for all of our sakes!

Back in The USSA

Got back home at 11:30pm last night! Rough trip back last night with AleVit antsy on the flight. A got to sit in business for a while, on me, in the ergo, as she fed herself a creamy pasta and tried to stab me with the (real) fork and spoon. V had his 5th new brand and cuckoolicious breakdown. It involves screaming like he is being decapitated while thrashing, sobbing, sweating, and possibly hitting his head on you, the carseat etc. Hope these attacks subside. We had many baby haters (including a bitch flight attendant) around us and a few sweet gracious passengers, who loved V, shit fit and all. Today was spent unpacking, doing 1000 lbs of (moldy) laundry, organizing bills, and wrangling the four brutes on home turf. This trip was Exhausting and I now accept that I need to go to work to relax:) I love these critters but AleVit is a tag team hurricane, always in destruction and/or danger mode, unable to be non-supervised for more than 15 seconds. V still hates the beach ("bye bye agua, ya está" as soon as we hit it) and A still plunges into the sea like she is a wild aquatic beast, covered in sand and salt that she enjoys eating. V's blond locks are now so long that he cannot see without a headband. He has become a parrot who can pretty much repeat anything. A is talking a little more and hitting a lot lot more. I have started time outs for her when she twists the skin on my or V's face, bites or hits with a big smile. This girl is strong and cuckoo. Okay, no more stream of consciousness updates on the bebés. Off to watch some more Breaking Bad and off to la camita!

Holy Bat!

I mean crap. We have been hearing a squeaking nagging noise on and off every night since we got here My first thought was that it was bats in the wall. But I wanted to think maybe baby birds? Every night has been an awful's night sleep. One night it was the animal noises (think howling monkeys, roosters who crow at 4am wtf?, baby birds?), another V whining all night because A was kicking him (they are sleeping in the equivalent to you sleeping in a Fresh Direct box, with your brother), another the sagging bed, another J coming into our room, another A crying like crazy having some sort of reaction to her many infected bug bites.. you get the picture. Anyway, all those nights were heaven compared to last night. F got really interested in the possibility of the noise being baby bats. He had regularly been shining his Iphone in the direction of the noise during the night, read about Costa Rican bats during the day. He got, a la F, kind of obsessed. When we went to bed I asked him to give me a break, that I was going to have nightmares about it. Oh, no need to dream, he woke up me up as a crazy bat (hence the expression bat shit crazy) charged the net over our bed. I lost my shit. If there is one thing that I DETEST, it is rodents. Add flying to rodents and I break down. In the middle of the night we dragged the pack and play with AleVit out and all four of us moved into the other room. This is why I come on vacation. To sleep, with six other people in a room with only three beds. I tried to sleep with J, on the bottom bunk. He decided to badger me (with words and fists) for "ice cold water." I told him there was no damn ice cold water but he was relentless. At about 2am when I had just fallen asleep, I heard a thump. It was either F or M that had fallen off  a bed. Thankfully it was not F (he was on the top bunk and would have been possibly dead, with both babies definitely dead under him), but M. She fell out of her bed like a sack of potatoes and did not even wake up. Suffice it to say, it was another sleepless night in Puerto Viejo. Is there such a thing as too much nature? Yes, there is. I am saturated, all done. This NYC gal is happy to hit the zoo if I miss nature any time in the next few months. I am ready to leave the bats and all of the other flora and fauna behind!

Costa Rica Time

I went online last night and had not done so in 48 hours. It is crazy that I do not remember the last time that happened. We all live attached to the web. Internet is more difficult to access here and it is virtually impossible to find time where I am not chasing kids. I think posts will be scarce while I am away and we can catch up upon my return. Some highlights so far... kids were GREAT on the trip. United lost one of our cribs (it is Canada!) and AleVi is really squished in one, it is much smaller than their crib at home. A spent the flight running up and down the aisles and sleeping. She woke up a passenger by throwing a packet of plastic utensils in her face. J offered the immigration officer "chicle" like a suave bribe as soon as we got to the window. He is in tv withdrawal (this is a tech free vacation) and told me: "I am not joking, I seriously miss TV." M has been good for the most part, although during a melt down yesterday she told me "You have no respect for my anger, I am going to walk away from Costa Rica until I find someone who appreciates me." It is very humid here. It is very hard to wrangle the children with no real stroller, or high chair, or anything, V had a psychotic meltdown at lunch (thin 60 minutes of screaming and thrashing) and began to repeat it at dinner, so I left with the babies. So many restaurants a day is ambitious. Beach is lush and wild. We are going to look for an adventure today. Hard to find ones we can all do. More soon. Happy August!
PS On the bright side, nobody has diarrhea or too many bug bites yet.

Here We Go!

'Tis the day before the crack *&#(&@ of dawn when we will be leaving for Costa Rica. Even though I consider myself to be a master packer (one suitcase plus one tote bag to check in- little trick to not pay for overweight luggage), we have a mountain crap of stuff to take with us. In addition to the aforementioned to be checked in items, we have 2 pack and plays (no, they do not have any there), 2 stroller/carseat contraptions, 1 booster (smaller and lighter than a car seat but annoying all the same) and each person (minus babies) has a backpack. Oh, and I do not know what tía A will bring but surely one more carry on and one more piece to check. Luggage aside, the challenge will be to make a 7:36am flight with all of the monkeys. All four kids are going to sleep early, in their clothing, so I can wake them at 4:45 am to pee and wash their face, brush their teeth in time for a 5am pick up. Yikes! The flight is 5 hours and 14 minutes. I have never seen AleVit stay still for even 14 seconds. Once in San José, we need to pick up our car for a 3 (or 4? ) hour drive to paradise. Suffice it to say that we will be wrecked by the time we get there. It is 2 hours earlier there, but I hope the dark helps so that I do not have V up at 3:30 am (5:30 in NYC). Off we go, not sure what the internet situation will be there, but I will blog when I can. Here's to the final leg of our holidays! How lucky we were to have a triumvirate this year. Pura Vida, we are on our way.

The End of An Era

Babies are not really babies any more. They napped on cots on Tuesday and finished BT today. In a few weeks when they return, they will be in the toddler room. I think they are officially not babies. They have diapers and chupetes and bottles. Bottles are on their way out, they hardly care for them. Before you know I know it, they will have backpacks. This morning as I took the stroller down, I watched A following directions! She was waiting patiently, sitting on a stoop, like she had been told to, as her teachers loaded the babies into the buggy for a stroll. No more babies :(

Not For Scaredy Cats!

Mid- Summer Assessment

Okay, a bit late, again, but let me take inventory on the summer. F and I had two modest (and overdue) goals. To teach MoJo to bike ride and J to swim. Missions accomplished. I have not done any exercise and my children have watched too much TV. I learned that the summer is long and that no camp is a real challenge. I confirmed that I cannot live without L. I was reminded that there is no such thing as "being on vacation" for more than an hour or two at a time when four kids are calling your name. All the time. I read about a woman who had her eleven children call her "Mrs. Bowman" on mother's day, just to get a break from answering to "mom" all day long. I like that. What else can I add to my summer ravings and rantings? I love to read and I am back into it after a very long hiatus. I am trying to get back into blogging about movies. Even though we took a lame ass extended break, we are back, please check it out. My back feels good despite my delinquent lack of independent pt (I still go for formal sessions once a week). Gossip magazines are way ahead and much more blunt in Australia. I love the Jersey shore. I wish I had a beach house to always host lots of friends. I will miss C greatly on our trip but look forward to tía A coming with us. I think this might be our last plane trip in a looong time. Definitely last international one. I will spare you any more random thoughts. Traveling? Don't forget to check your passport's validity. I just learned the hard way (aka $300) that you cannot fix an expired passport in a week. Phew, that was close. Off to Costa Rica we go, all 7 of us!!! on Saturday at the crack ass of dawn (7:30am flight).

Spring Lake!

I miss you already. What a great week with so many different visitors, so many children (one day was 9 children total- 5 under 2 years old with only 7 adults!), yummy food, impeccable weather, and my wonderful friend with her two girls, all the way from Tanzania! I miss it all already. Oh yeah, I wrote that already.

Jersey Shore

We are currently staying in the nicest house possible on the Jersey shore. It has so many bedrooms that I wish I had more friends to invite out here. It is a little stressful to be in such a nice and new home, as I do not want to be responsible for any damages. Saturday and Sunday we had friends over for a total of 8 children! The grilling has been superb, the weather perfect, and the children well behaved, for the most part. I am not very boggy when I am on vacation, so to be continued. Some lines: J: Too bad monkeys do no celebrate Halloween, they could dress up as Spiderman and climb just like him. J at the fishmonger: Can we get a lobster as a pet? Please? We can cut off his claws. J: I like everything except mean people, robber, and kidnappers.

Lance Armstrong Duo

J is also, officially, a real bike rider. We bought M the last bike (red) at Target today and took both kids out (no elevator!!) to practice along with AleVit.
Stay tuned for funny recent lines. One I remember off the bat (yes, I am a nerd and jot them to remember) is J declaring: V and I have a great relationship!

FI Add Ons

Let's not forget...
J's action figures in his ice museum (each one individually frozen in a glass in the freezer)
How much mayo we can eat without much effort (think Costco size)

Fire Island Hiatus

Whoa, 11 days without posting. That has never happened. I have not been feeling very bloggy as of late. I was also busy chasing children in Fire Island, and then there is the detail that I could not figure out how the hell to access my blog on the I-pad. We spent the last seven days in Ocean Bay Park (OBP) with mucha famiglia. All in all, everyone was fun and funny and many good times were had. Thank you to tía D for coming out. Some highlights include...

1. M learned how to ride a bike
2. AleVit ate dog food and liked it
3. J corrupted his grandparents (MIA and Italia, he already has NYC in his pocket) so that he gets them to do what he wants
4. AleVit continued to show how different they are with their reactions to the beach (V mostly horror at the sand, water etc and A sheer delight at the messiness and danger of it all- she is fearless!)
5. I learned that A can snap
6. We all learned that there are way too many cheesy people, sick deer, ugly tattoos in OBP
7. Chloe (her name is ok as she is canine in nature) is the most patient dog on earth
8. Outdoor showers rule
9. My children have many very nice & patient aunts/uncles
10. There is not much relaxing when four children are involved
11. Tía C can grill yo!
12. Kids can run free in FI

Hope to back soon at the same Bat time, same Bat channel.