Recent Lines

M- Can I go to T and M's marriagement?

J-Jeff Jeter is not very good at baseball now.

J- Can you arrange a babysit with P (his old sitter) so can have rice and eggs?

M- I threw up during school a little but I did not tell my teacher because I did not want to go to the nurse and leave school, it was a great day.

Feliz Cumple!!!

Bello Ciccione. He had a great day and dealt with his sister's jealousy very well. Family celebration short and sweet. Five years, wow!

Pupo, Please Do Not Turn 5, Stay 4....

I said to J tonight.
He replied with a shrug: I can't it's my body. Sorry (hug)
I love that midget. I cannot believe that he is 5 years old!!
He looked so old running around the bowling alley with his friends on Sunday.
Oh well, at least I have two more mini-er midgets.
PS V took a couple of steps today!

Gearing Up!

For J's 5th birthday party (Yes, I will be there on time!) and our annual Oscar celebratory viewing/betting pool. I am tired as hell and hope to sleep tonight. AleVit began a 3am leche wake up which I surrendered to when they were sick and now surrender to so they will let me sleep. Need to break the pattern! I leave you with some zingers from today!

As he ate his meat, J commented: I like the porky part (the fat).
M to me, inspired by the film she saw last night: I wish aliens would come take you away!

A Little More...

F stayed home with V for a while this am until L came. I took other three monkeys to BT to drop A off. While I was literally leaving her, J had explosive diarrhea. Had to clean him and borrow clothes at BT. Went to school, taught a class while he waited and then brought him back home, where he slept and watched TV with his little bro. V cried a lot last night so I am off to bed at 10:09pm. F just said he feels nauseous and when he gets stomach bugs it ain't pretty. Mercy.

No No Please, You Vomit On ME Now, Please!

I was just going to post about the wonderful news, that both babies went to BT today and seem 100% Wouldn't that be boring though? We noticed that V was not that into dinner but he ate. We did our steam, double bath, antibiotics, bla bla bla and L went in to put them to sleep as I went to attack the 4 loads of laundry that need to be put away. She called me screaming as V had vomited EVERYWHERE. Think floor, crib slats, his sister, his pillow, the wall. You get the picture. We stripped them down and back into the bath they went. After lots of cleaning and some airing (but boy does it stink in there!) I got the crib ready for round two. Right before putting V in we noticed that his nose was bothering him and low and behold, he had vomit stuck in there. Don't gag. But it's like when you laugh and liquid comes out of  your nostrils. So I used the snot sucker to suck the vomit out of his nose. Now you can gag. Please sleep all night and do not vomit any more! Tomorrow V will  be home, rounding out the record. In the last two weeks (so 10 days of BT times two equals 20) we have been to BT 7 times. Woo hoo!

Brotherly Pep Talk

M: I am not that good at math.
J: Well you should ask your teacher for extra work so you can get gooder at it!
M: There is a special group for the best kids in math and I am not in it.
J: I am sure you can pass that group. You will soon be gooder than them.

But Wait, Call Now

and you can get a baby who vomited in her crib (and on her brother) Monday night, spit up milk right before going to the playground, and exploded in cream of corn diarrhea right before I left for PT. How can A have a stomach bug when she has not been to day care in two decades? Out of a possible 5 days each last week A went one! (Fri) and V two (Mon/Tues). This week we already miss Mon/Tues for a holiday and A will be staying home with her loose poop today. This is what I call getting our money's worth of daycare but moreover, when will these babies be ok?

Recent Lines

J to M re A: Defend your stuff, she is coming!

M to me after an 1.5 hours of errands:  I had a wonderful time. I like our girl time.

J to F when he asked about scribbling on our closet door: I think I may have done that. I do not remember.

M: It's a good thing I do not horde at inappropriate levels anymore.

M: How old do I have to be before I can go out by myself to get coffee and stuff?
Me: Old. I want to keep you with me for as long as possible,
M: Oh, do they steal teenagers too? What do they do to them?

M: Can I get my ears pierced when I am 16?
Me: You can do it before then.
M: No, I think when you are 16 you are more mature and do not cry when you fall and stuff.

M to F at Target: I wish J were here, I need his advice on what toy to get.

J: I think V should change his name to Josh when he is a grown up.

M: Why is your knee bumpy?
J: You need that bump for bending and hiphopping and stuff like that.

J as he looked at my legs: You need to shave- (lifts my arms). Your armpits too.

M to me about candy: Respect the sweets!

M when I said I was sick of her hitting and insulting J and him doing it to her: It's called a relationship.

J: Will you be alive when I am 13?
Me: Yes.
M: She will be like abuela's age.

A The Walker & V The Talker

Even though he is hoarse, V says "hi" with a raspy croak and a warm smile every time someone walks in or says it to him.

A can walk like nobody's business. She is bow legged and seems like a mini half Asian cowboy but she sure is cute.

Another interesting but true development is V's strength. Not only did he take a heavy blender and smash it to smithereens but he was lifting A, who was standing on the door of our toy oven, up and down with one hand. That's a 20 lb bicep curl!

Morning of Gratitude

J to Me re an incident that occurred yesterday: You are so mean. I will never forgive you.

M to me: I wish you never existed. Who is your favorite parent J? (J chooses F). Yeah, me too.

Lovely children no?

Medical Nightmare Comes to a Head

This is a long one. Brace yourselves. My current (soon to be ex) pediatrician's office is comprised of apparently incompetent doctors who like to do trial and error and wait and see as their methods of diagnosis. Case in point, A was diagnosed with an ear infection on her third visit (in 8 days!). On Wed V went along with his sis and I was told he did not have an ear infection, just a fever and pink eye. Since his fever had started on Tuesday and they always use "3 days" as the magical fever number (until you get there of course) I took him in as a precaution on Friday afternoon. Doctor told me one ear was fine and that the other had a lot of wax. She used a tool to remove some but none came out and then concluded that he did not have an ear infection and that we should continue to have a fever and see what came next. Yes, this sounds like how a supermarket cashier might diagnose and treat a medical problem, ie clueless. V continued to be VERY irritable and to not sleep at all during the day after a night of high fever during which he also slept poorly. Fast forward to Friday night. I hesitantly went out for 2.5 hours even though V was very fussy at bedtime. As instructed, tío G gave V Advil at 9:30 (at this point his blood is comprised of mostly Advil I guess) when he woke up crying (and drenched in sweat. How many times can a fever break?) At 11pm I went to bed and at 12:15 woke up to the worst crying I ever heard. V would not stop. Would not let me hold him. Take a bottle or a pete (how I wished I were still nursing at that moment!) The crying was so disturbing that I knew a. he was in a lot of pain b. i had a problem c. the neighbors and/or police would be coming over soon. After 30 minutes (you have no idea how long that is when your baby is crying at the top of his lungs- he is indeed hoarse today) I called my mother. We could not hear each other but I said "I need help now" and she, along with grandpa appeared 20 minutes later. At this point, V had all of a sudden completely stopped crying and was completely still, which actually worried me more. I packed a bag of items, V in the Bjorn and we (grandpa and I) cab it to Mount Sinai. He is in the computer under Epstein, B  TWA (took me a while to get that- my name, Boy, Twin A for those of you who are slow like me) so we fly straight in. Here's a tip if you want fast service in an emergency room- bring a real or prosthetic belly and a real (or borrowed) baby. We see a lovely emergency room pediatrician who tells me that 1. V is okay because he is breathing well, apparently the most important thing with babies and 2. he has one ear that looks good and another one that has wax. "Oh, I know" I tell her and relay my afternoon jaunt to the butcher to diagnose V. Well, he has a scab in his ear from having been hurt with the tool to remove wax and when she gently does remove wax (and I see the wax) she tells me that he ear is VERY INFECTED and full of pus. So I am relieved because now we know why he is in such awful pain. But I am livid. The doctor clearly fucked up, said nothing, and then did a fake "his ear looks fine" to not deal. My guess is that a normal person would not doubt what two different doctors said within two days about her child. I am not normal and anyone who heard V cry would have taken him to the ER as well. So he got a dose of antibiotics and a prescription for the same one A is one (but a much higher dosage) and went to sleep at 3am. And woke up at 5:45am. Since then he took about three 30 minute naps. He is miserable. F came home (after what seemed like 3 weeks not 8 days) and put V to sleep without much work. So I am hopeful that my poor baby will sleep. And I am scared of F and going to the doctor with them Mon am (need their one year check up and to get all of the files to change doctors). I may need to sedate him. Well, the good news is that now we know what V has and the bad is that doctors continue to NEVER cease to amaze me with their incompetence.

Light At The End of The Tunnel?

Well, I take back the "on the mend" post. After what I thought was his fever breaking, V proceeded to wake up so damn hot last night that I thought I was going to have to take him to the hospital. The doctor assured me that the fever was fine as long as it went down with drugs and that he was not having other (drastic) symptoms. I medicated him and it went down. Today I did not medicate him in the am so that the doctor could see him with a fever if he had one. I was hoping for an ear infection, something concrete to treat but nada. In the last 9 days A has been to the doctor 3 times and V 2 times. I am pediatricianed out. And I clearly need a new one. Tonight's bedtime brought antics that I have NEVER seen. It took so long to get him to stop crying that we took him out, gave him milk, let him play...all this without having had more than two tiny naps and a shitty night's sleep the night before. I need V to feel better. NOW. F arrives tomorrow pm and I am off to Hawaii. Just kidding. I am always on whether BEST or SUPPORTING, I am in the film. Which I love. But sometimes I need an understudy. Notte.

On The Mend

V took a long nap from which he woke up DRENCHED and fever free. It finally broke. A is much better and will return for a one day gig at BT. V will stay home one more day and 1.5 million hours and dollars later this week will soon be over. What a week! Staying at home with the babies was a lot of work and I look forward to work tomorrow. Notte.

Best In Show

When we saw this image on the news in a taxi J said: I thought that was the dog's butt, not his face.
__
When I asked M if she was going to play basketball after we saw our team win the championship: No, too much drama.
__
This am on the way to school J inquired: Before anyone was born how was someone born?
Me: You mean how did it start?
J: Yeah, maybe woodmen, I mean cavemen.
Me: Well, who made them?
J: G-d.
M: Actually, science thinks that we come from monkeys. Monkeys kept on having babies and each time they looked more like us.

Medical Update

Yes, this is a contraption that I bought upon the doctor's recommendation. Yes, I did suck the mocos out of 3 of my children's noses today (I did not put on the lipstick though). After a mid-morning visit to the doctor with 3 monkeys, I finally got confirmation of what I already knew (babies have pink eye, some virus that gives them a fever (V) and an ear infection (A)). Thank goodness for L who took them home, waited at hour at CVS for the drugs and stayed with them until I got back with the other two. I need a spreadsheet to remember eye drops 4 times per day for 7 days, oral antibiotic 2 times per day for 10 days (A) and ibuprofen every 4 hours (V). After going into the steamy bathroom, applying a vapor rub to their chests, suctioning their noses and putting drops in their eyes and medicine in their mouths, I can only hope that they sleep. Pobrecitos. V was so hot this am that he was twitching. Three hours after tylenol his fever was still over 102. I will be home with them tomorrow and they will stay home on Friday too. BT is closed Mon/Tues so after a 10 (V) and 12 (A) day break, I can only hope they will be back next Wednesday.
PS V only weighs 3 more ounces (20 lbs, 11oz) more than A. She got huge and/or he is a midget. What happened?

Delinquent Kids

is what I have. J got sent to the head of the division for coloring blocks and also threw a book at me (but hit some other girls) when I went to his class to read a story. M got kicked out of two classes (the famous 50% French) in the last two days for uncontrollable noise production. Could these kids miss their father? Settle down (but the class would not settle down).

Pobrecitos

My quartet is sick, well three out of the four are. J has a horrible nagging cough that he does all night long, but that is the least of it. A went to the dr on Mon. No news. V went to daycare. A stayed home today, seemed a bit better, V went to daycare. V got sent home with a fever. And pink eye. In both eyes. A has it in one. A also had crap coming out of her ear, reminiscent of what J had a year back. I say burst ear drum. So for the third time in 8 days, A will be going to the doctor. I will cab it post my third grade class to meet L there. Might even bring J. I am very lucky to have this kind of flexibility in the day. V's face of suffering tonight, his hot, limp body asleep, naked right out of the bath, was just too sad. A also puts her head down on my shoulder when I hold her, a sure sign of her being unwell as she is never still. I cannot imagine what having really sick children is like. Just seeing them with this fever/horrible cold crap is heart wrenching. Please get better babies. Please say something useful doctors.

Tuesday Talk

J on F: I love him more than he knows and I love him more than he can eat.

M: I am urgent to try this candy.

M on our apt: I remember when we moved here and there was nothing? Now we have like 8 million things.

Me: How was French?
M: I would say that it was 50%

M: I had such a dramatic dream.

M: Valentine's day is so stressful.

Recent Comments...

M's bff: Were you born that way (pointing to F's bald head)?

J to F: No, you are not leaving for Italia today, you can leave when your son is an old man.


J: On the day Jesus was born, it was a boy.
Me; What?
J: Starts singing the xmas pageant song (help!)'

J to me: Can I stay up late to finish my Valentine's cards?

Oggi

Woke up and A was definitely going to stay home, looked so sad and sick. I got an umbrella stroller from abuela that had been J's. So airy and light I could hardly believe it as I floated down Lenox Avenue with it and MoJo. Pushing just one baby is like a joke when you are used to pushing an oversized heavy vehicle. Took the subway to BT and then another subway with MoJo to school. Spoke to A's doctor while she was there with L only to learn that she "has a really bad cold" with no solution or end in sight. During my lunch  break I had a long fruitful meeting on Broadway. Right after school I tutored and then got V and dropped him at home. Hmm looks like he and his other half have pink eye (how did the doctor not notice this??). Left for 74 St to go pick M and her bff up at gymnastics (she loved it!) In the interim bff's mom picked J up at his Valentine party. Went to 106 and Bway to exchange kids and waited a lifetime for a bus/cab, got the latter. Babies asleep. MoJo dinner/bath and tío D stayed so I could go to 73 St!! to tutor. Trader Joe's. Back home. J cannot stop coughing. V is whining. A is tossing and turning. Oh please feel better midgets. L will stay with both bebés tomorrow- she might as well move in here!

Walk Like An Egyptian

A can walk! She went from one step (that I missed) last week to several on my bed (a couple of days before her birthday) to casual multiple (like 8 at a time!) steps all over the house today when L was here. She was literally walking everywhere that L went and called her. Amazing. She is to little that it is really funny. Unfortunately she has a fever (again!) and will have to stay home. I want V to go to BT so his sister can rest and he can enjoy the day so tomorrow morning's logistics just got trickier. M is starting gymnastics tomorrow, J has a Valentine's day party and I have one tutee at 3 and another at 7:30 so there is literally, never a dull moment. Maybe that could be the new name for my autobiography? If you have catchy titles for my life, please send them this way.

Jerry Thompson

is the boss of J's club I hear. He is Italian and does not speak English.
Me- Can I see him and say "Ciao Jerry?"
J- No, he is a ghost.

The Sound of Laughter

Coming from these two little monkeys, is so pure, so wild, that if I could have reached for a camera to record it, it could have been used for a commercial or something. A rare occurrence, I am home with bebés tonight, as F is on a plane to Italia (for a week:() and MoJo is with abuela for the night. I had the medium smart idea of giving AleVit a bath together for the first time. I did not want to leave one alone in the high chair downstairs, they were too dirty post dinner to go in the crib, so I put them in. They laughed so hard playing in the water, A especially, that I thought she might burst. Adorable. Getting them both out at the same time and dry and dressed was another story. I kept thinking "if only someone could pass me the diaper cream." I ended up drying them and putting them naked in the crib as I got what I needed. This also made them crack up. It is just fabulous to see them play, to notice how HUGE they are in the crib (props to us for not relenting and still having them share), and to remember to be thankful every single damn day for good health and love.

Recent Comments...

When I told J that his father was going away soon: But, I need him, he is my best friend.

J to me: Voila!

M when she learned he friend's dog's name: Classic name. Max

J to me: That is the problem when you ask me something. I cannot resist laughing and you think I am lying.

M to me: You always treat him (J) like a king and me like a slave.

J to his bff as she donned his "I love dad"pjs: That does not make sense, you do not love my dad.
Hi bff: Yes, I do, I love your dad.

Oops

Did not post yesterday. Babies were happy celebrating the afternoon away, ie stuffing banana muffins in their mouths at BT and then being surrounded by family and mora happy birthday singing and cake at home. I still cannot believe that they are one! Next up in a couple of weeks, J Bonini turning 5. AAAHHH

T'was The Night Before Birth-Day...

How did this happen? I have two almost one year olds asleep in a crib upstairs. 364 days ago I did not know the sexes of the babies nor that they were about to arrive. A took 3 steps on my bed last night, she was very non-chalant and of course only did it only once. When I asked MoJo what I should buy the babies for them, J suggested an exercise video for the babies to practice squats or a book to teach them to read. M suggested a book for the bathtub. I am going to go for that tomorrow, when I run out, shamefully late (we traditionally like for the kids to open their gifts in the am, on our bed) to get a small token of our love for the dynamic duo. Thank you for being born almost a year ago...even if you did it on an even day.

Tonight's Lines

J to me: You know I do not like it (brussel sprouts) from the future and next time do not give it to me.

M to J: The only thing that is going to happen if you eat those is that you will be healthier.

J with evil expression looking up at the ceiling from which thumping constantly emanates: Maybe we should go up there and talk to them.

Happy Birthday G-SUS

Now you really be the age of our main man J. Hope you had a great day even though you were working, I mean kicking squash butt. Love Jew! Cool Ice Número Uno.

More On The Boyfriend, The Club...

J-I was wondering if you kissed your boyfriend on the lips in your club?
M-Yes I did
J-On the lips?
M-Yes.
J-How about today?
M-Yes, I sleep with him every night in the club. I do not usually sleep here.
J-Where does he live? Does he live in Miami?
M-My partner, who is an old lady now..
J-You are in love with a woman?
M-No, my partner who is an old lady now and her son is my boyfriend. Well, we are married but I like to call him my boyfriend.
M-If you want me to tell you a really big secret, you cannot tell anyone (whispering)
J-Okay
M-And sometimes we kiss on the cheek.

Not Sure...

J- If there is gravity, how do planes fly?

Right Now: Conversation Taking Place On My Bed

J to M: Who are you gong to marry?
M: Nobody
J: Don't you remember that you said you had a boy friend?
M: No.
J: So where is that guy?
M: I told you, in the club.
J: Why can't I see him?
M: You will find out if you come to the club
J: Kiss him'
M: Not in front of you, in the club
J: Is he in the school?
M: What school?
J: This one. St H & H
M: In the St  H & H underground, in my club.
J: Is it the school that he goes to?
M: No, not the one that we go to, it is underground.
J: So you cannot see him?
M: Yes, the two schools are attached. Sometimes when I go to the bathroom I see him at school.
J: How do you? What if he is not there?
M: Well, you can just pass by the club and I passed him nad I was like "helloooo" and then I went back up. I did not tell you about it because you did not ask.