M's Prewedding Thoughts

M: Do you think they will give me flowers and think that I did a good job? I do not think I will know anyone there.
J: Yes, you will now C and E.
M: Of course, I have to know the bride and groom.
J: You also know more people, V and A and papi. Also, you know yourself.

Hmmm

Me: Can you straighten up the toys please?
J: What do you mean? Put them all in a straight row?

Lazy Sunday

Woke up met G and went briefly (oh so briefly) to the gym. Up to my mother's house to drop/pick up items. Back home in under an hour. F seemed content with all 4 monsters (one of whom was melting in caca). Up, by foot, sweating to school to meet C for wedding preparations. Stashed a bunch of crap all over the school, full of boxes, being packed for the major renovations. Back home, quick lunch. Nice long walk down 5th to meet friends from out of town at the Met.They arrive 55 minutes late! Hardly saw anything at the museum. Left F again to go tutor in the neighborhood. Picked him up at the playground. Walk back home (3 miles total there and back, hence the big blister on the middle of my foot!). Baths and meals and bed and off to dinner with F (horrible overpriced Italian pizzeria FLB- do not go) and then to see The Dictator- pretty bad as well. relaxing day. Looking forward to work at this point:)

Deep Thoughts by MoJo

J when he heard about tuition:
That's ridiculous to pay for school.
People are poor. How do they pay to go to school?
_____
J when he heard that a baby visiting from Argentina went to bed at 9:30pm:
I think that is illegal in America
_____
J: What if Ms C and Arock Obama had a major fight? That would be so bad.
M: The school would be destroyed.
J: And nobody would be able to go to the school.
J: Is Ms C married?
Me: No.
J: She could marry Arock Obama.
M: He is already married.
J: Or she could marry tío G

V The Backtalker

This morning I learned that V, like his siblings, is a back talking midget. I said "basta" to him this am and he yelled "no" back at me. Later I said "y vos" to him (and you..) and he yelled "vos" back at me. I tried to resist laughing. I pretended to scold V again in front of F so that he could witness the bravado. V was playing and looked at me from the corner of his eye, stopped playing, and I swear.. thrust his chest toward me (Jersey shore/mafia style) and said "oh" with a perfect Italian bad ass intonation. Priceless. had I filmed it, that puppy would be viral by now. So grateful for A's (so far) taciturn nature.

Aids Walk Delight

My walking partner and I had an AB FAB Aids Walk. Not sure how we were able to swing it, but we started early (okay, I did bully one woman at a barricade a little) and had the course all to ourselves. Because we were star walkers (ie raised over 1K each), we had crowns that identified us to the thousands of volunteers as such. Being cheered on while doing something fun (for a good cause) was great, reminiscent of the marathon. Thank you to all who read this who sponsored me. If you did not, there is always next year:)

Timberrrrr!

or how a fat lady almost killed A at the playground yesterday. I am not kidding. I wish I had video footage. It was the most bizarre thing that has happened to me ever at a playground. A was running around pushing a "borrowed" mini stroller when we bumped into its rightful owner and her moronic father. As he asked me how we were going "to handle the situation" (I was unaware that there was one), I saw a large blob falling toward me and the next thing I knew, a fat lady was on the ground, A was flat on the ground next to her (her hand maybe squished?) with her head on the lady's purse. I don't even know what happened. Maybe the woman just lost her balance and tripped on the stroller? All I know is that a few inches one way and my daughter might have been a goner. "Toddler, Flattened by Fat Lady" would be a sad headline. Needless to say, after my horror I felt like laughing and not ONE of the other three adults I was with saw a thing. Never a dull moment.

V's Budding Vocab

This is
has been said 10000 times by V
Now he grabs books and says
This is book
Nice grammar!
He also says
Here you go
He also calls leche
Lesh
I love it!

J's Cool Offer to M

I will be your brother if you read this to me.

Papi Is Back!

Yay! He is on a plane and by this afternoon, he will be home. Yippee! Tomorrow I am off to the Aids Walk and he will have quality time with all 4 kids for half of the day:)

J's Wacky Mind

J: I need to get new toys.
Me: No you do not, you have too many and we have nowhere to put new toys.
J: No, you are wrong, papi told me I could take toys to Philadelphia to keep them there for an emergency. So I do have room, that's it!
__
J: If you do not let me do (I cannot remember what), I am walking out the door and going to live with nonno G.
Me: You are going to have to learn Italian, he does not speak any English.
__
Me to J: V is going to be so excited that you are home before him.
J: Who is V?
Me: What are you asking me
J: Oh, my brother? (I understand the confusion, he does know about 21 V's). I thought you meant someone else.
__
When his karate pants got dirty, J: I am going to get fired from karate!
__
Me to J: What are you doing?
J: I am trying to spear my pasta.
__
J: I want to be a boxer or a wrestler when I grow up.
Me: No thanks, I do not want you to do something where your head gets banged. It is not good for you.
J: Why doesn't Arack Obama make it illegal?
Me: That is not how it works. The president cannot control everyone's bad decisions.
J: Well, he could stop the referee of the boxing.

M's Comments Today

M: I think I deserve a deeper punishment for that.
__
M: It is sad that children in New York are getting ruder and ruder, like me.
Me: You are getting less rude.
M: At the playground I hear kids saying "none of your business" as often as you should be hearing "thank you."
__
M: Do you think I am crazy?
Me: No. Why?
M: Just a random thought.
___
M: How come the mother has to do all of the work all of the time?

Tag, You're It!

seems to be the theme this week with every day being a succession of handing off and passing of the children baton, even more than usual.
We start with Monday:
-walk to BT with M and AleVit. Meet C there and get back my metrocard. Walk to school. Teach. Subway down to 34 St (!) in a break to get J from F who delivered him (we arrived within 30 seconds of each other!) to me, cleared for all activity by the surgeon. Back to school. Teach. Pick up MoJo and go to library, Trader Joe's (aka Brooks Brothers), gymnastics. Leave J with sitter (who was there with another child) while I tutored a block away. Retrieve Mojo. Home for the evening routine with Alevit and L.
Tuesday:
MoJo left early with F (with suitcase) for school to attend book fair preview at school. I took bebés to BT. Taught a gazillion classes and tried to make headway on reports. Rushed to PT. It kicked my butt. Went East to tutor. Cab to school. Picked up MoJo. Cab home. Dinner/bath to the 4th degree. Hello tío D. Tag you are it! I was off to a meeting. Came home. Did not write reports. Watched Chop. Passed out.
Today:
Babies up at 5:40am. Why not they thought? We know papi is gone. Ignored them for an hour as I wrote reports. Got them milk. Bottle fights. Never sure who stole whose. Took babies out and dressed them. M got up. J would not. Dressed myself. L arrived at 7:15am. Yay! Tag she was it. Took babies to BT. I came to school etc etc etc. Never a dull moment:)

Strange Kids

M to J: Don't touch my private parts!
Me to J: J, that is not okay. Do not touch her.
J: I did not, it was my foot, under the covers. You do it with papi.
Me: Excuse me?
J: When you are in the same bed, under the covers, your feet touch everything.
__
M: Not to be mean, but if J did not exist, I would behave better. He riles me up and encourages me to behave bad.
__
J pointing to Canada on his placemat: That is where G-d lives.
Me: In Canada?
J: No in the "N", everybody knows that N stands for G-d.

J's Explanation

This was a day for happiness and joy but you were not that so we misbehaved.
Me: What?
You should be joyed and happy and fun but you weren't so then we behaved bad.
Me: So it is my fault?
Papa's fault because he did not act that excited.

Happy Mother's Day

to my mother, my stepmother, all of my friends who are mothers, all of my friends and sisters that love my children as if they were their own, to L for caring for my children better than if they were her own... to the mothers who have a much harder life than mine. Happy mamma day.

Comments

F to J: Go brush your teeth.
J: Only if you be my butler.
M: I am his butler
J: You see? I have people already. I pay twenty cents

J this am: Okay, rest time is over. It's the morning. I am getting up. You stay here if you want but I am getting up to do my work.

Mother's Day Card From J (he wrote in post colons all alone!)

My mom is named: Violeta
Her hair is: blackish blueish
Her eyes are: purple
She is : 2 inches tall and weighs 60 punds.
My mom is: 80 years old.
Her favorite thing to do is: snuggle
When I am at school, my mom is: in her room teaching.
Her favorite food is: zucchini
Her favorite thing to cook for me is: milk
Her favorite place to go is: restaurants
I love my mom so much because: she is my mom
Love J

15 Month Check Up

Babies are big! Aside from learning that shots still make them sad and angry, we learned that, like I suspected, A is taller than V but he is heavier and has a bigger head. So glad to be back at a good pediatrician. Even though I think they do not speak much, they apparently only know three words on average at this age so we are ahead of the curve:) Babies started the day off dunking toys in the toilet, full of J's pee. Good supervision mamma! They ended the day with an hour walk home (78 and WEA ain't that close to home) with their true love, L. While at the doctor, A looked very concerned with Dr. D examined V (and he did his fake cry the whole time). When it was her turn, she went under a counter and stood there motionless, trying to maybe have the doctor she was no longer there. V's new move from the doctor's office is to slap his thighs and laugh. Once he got that this was funny, he did it non-stop, cracking himself up each time. My my these babies are big. If I were a rich woman, I might have one more. But then I remember, four is a lot and I am already cuckoo.

Baby Vacuum Cleaners

My babies can eat your babies, or you, for that matter, under the table. Here is a sample meal (last night's dinner):

They shared-

adult portion of fish seared with pepper and salt
two scrambled eggs with cheese
one boiled yam
one small bowl of quinoa
one big plate of strawberries and grapes

They were also angry when it was finished. Should I call a doctor? The Guinness Book?

J Today

J on Fashion

J to tío D when he put on his hat: That's a fancy hat for girl friends. For when you have a date.

J on his boxers sticking out: I am like a teenager.

J on a play date he had today

She is my best friend.
Me: I did not know that.
Why do you think we are having a play date?
(Later in school) Am I sleeping at her house?

On his operation


My stitches are melting.

On the deli


Are you membership here?
Me: What?
They know your name. Are you membership?

More J Classics

My balloon is running out of gas!

abuelo: Can you pass me that pillow?
J: No, I had surgery. I cannot.

Big Brother Help

Me to J: Can you keep an eye on her (A)?
J: Make sure she doesn't do what?
Me: Fall off that table.
J: What if she does?

Happy Birthday D!

Here's to your 38th year and our 33rd (?) of friendship. May your day be great, despite the 110 minute musical I am subjecting you to :) See you tonight tía D! Love you mucho.

Survived

J is home and well. He is actually behaving like a little tyrant and milking the situation a bit too much. It was very sad to see him in a hospital gown. They were all very nice and NYU has a super children's section with more information, stickers, attention, and kid lingo than you could possibly want. J sat down to watch some Night at the Museum right after taking his initial medication. Two minutes later a nurse came in to tell us to not let him get up because he would be kind of "drunk." I then noticed that J looked stoned and that he was slurring his speech. A few minutes later he was going in with F and then we just waited. I was totally fine. Anxious but fine. I did have a thirty second panic attack at one point and then I was fine. When we went to see him in recovery he was on his side with a sort of pacifier in his mouth, a cap on his head,  bandaged IV, he looked very fragile and small in the bed. After sleeping a while J woke up and he was still ooouut of it. He was also grumpy. Now he is home and well. Super grumpy and very demanding, milking every minute of his gatorade, candy, video grame heaven. Thank you to everyone who sent good waves, nice emails, and love to the midget.

Recent Comments

Just now as he peed post op: If I did not have the bandaid here, would pee come out of this hole?

J on his uncle: G is a metalist. He fixes TVs. I think that is what that means.

J to his father: Why you scream at the babies? They are my true love. They do not know, they need to learn.

J to his grandmother at the toy store yesterday: I know my mother said to buy me one toy. But I want two. Do you want to buy me two? What do you want to do?

M after her abuelo asked her if she liked her father working now at his current or previous job: I would like it more if he worked at FAO Schwartz.

J in the cab going to the hospital: Before there were movies of stuff, there were books.

J when I told him to STOP drumming in the cab: I cannot help myself, it is what my body does.

J on his new backpack: I want to wear this to school to be funky and cool teenagery.

J this am: It is so good to be a kid and have an operation.

Reality Sets In

I have been in semi denial about J's "little operation", "small procedure", or as I am know coming to think of it "they are putting my son to sleep for a 1.5 hour why the fuck does it take so long? operation in 24 hours." I was anxious to get the call yesterday to know what time it is tomorrow. M was fighting over whether o not heaven exists with J in the morning, distraught because he said it didn't.  M also cried a lot in school yesterday and just wanted her teacher to hug her, unable to articulate what was wrong, "bad day" she kept saying. She is anxious I fear, and worried for her best friend. When J was a year old he was anemic and had to have blood regularly drawn (another moronic pediatrician- a tale for another time). One time M was with me, as the doctor, nurse, and myself had to hold him down. M started having a hysterical laughing attack, completely unable to handle seeing her brother suffer. I digress. At 6:30pm I spoke to the nurse. Once I spoke to the nurse, who was very nice, I felt worse instead of better. It all of a sudden became real, immediate, and scary. I know it is a little deal, that there is little risk, and that is very common, but he is little, and I know he is going to hate the IV, and that once he surmises what surgery is (and moves past the "I will get gatorade!), he will freak out. We have to be at the hospital at 8:15am tomorrow (abuelo will take M to school and L the babies- it takes a village for real) his operation is from 9:45-11:15am. I did not enjoy the words "pain", "medication" or "child life specialist" over the phone, but I also know that many parents have to endure real and big medical problems. I am going to be brave. F told J that he was brave. J concurred. Then he asked: "What does brave mean? Does hurting count?" I hate hospitals, I hate kids in hospitals, I am an adult. I am going to deal with this.

Tuesday Rainy Tuesday

Nothing like pushing a heavy stroller in the rain. Tricky part is getting to BT, having to take babies out and cover the stroller back up as I take off my raincoat and pick them both up (otherwise you got a dry baby going onto a wet adult). Sad part this am is that both of them fell asleep (has not happened in months in the stroller going to BT). I am guessing it was the monotony of the baby carwash with the cozy sealed in warmth. Needless to say they were both happy to pop out and get to work. I was exhausted by the time I bumped the stroller down, put my raincoat back on and walked 15 more blocks to work. Got the showers, where are the May (first!) flowers?