When the month slips away.....

And you do not post about your first boy turning 11 (yippee) or your niece being born (meeting you in a few hours!) or the tidal wave that is your life. I alternate between feeling victorious and efficient and flailing and swamped. We are now officially on "spring break" which simply means that 4 out of 5 kids have barely anything to do every day while I am still trying to keep up with school work (paper, quiz, and homework all due in the next week), housework (will the laundry ever be put away? will the fridge ever be full?), sister work (mail packages, keep brother alive), alum work (finally finished 1000 emails for 25th year reunion), volunteer work (not doing so hot on getting donations for the auction), tutor work (finally picking up- financial sigh of relief) and most importantly human work. Oh right, I am a person and should do more than just allow myself to read the NYT a day late on the train as a daily treat. Maybe I should exercise, or shower? The most important part of my human work is the following: finding a way to be a partner and a mother and a person without putting the me at the very bottom. There is nothing better than caring for my family but it is easy to lose myself. I take the outings to CUNY as a legitimate vacation. I may be ridiculous, but I love my 20 something-year-old classmates and my not so challenging classes. Community college is probably all my out of shape mind can handle right now. I enjoy the camaraderie. I like that when I get there I am not Ms. Epstein, or the overpriced tutor, or mamá mamá mamá!, but just a white-haired nerdy woman in the class. I am thankful to my partner who affords me this luxury of fading two evenings a week and other times to just study. What will I do with all of these classes? Can I get into the masters program? Even if I could, could we afford for me not to work? Could I be a full-time student and tutor to help pay bills? Hmm, maybe not while sending 5 kids to private school, fancy daycare, piano, swimming, summer camp and all that jazz. The perennial question is, what do we give up? Where should we move? When I think of what that would entail, especially the losing L part, I get anxious and decide to stick to the madness I know. This life I am leading may be insane to some, but it is all that I know and I am grateful for it. Stay tuned for what I hope will be more regular quotations from the comedy troupe.

Since I am doing an epically poor job documenting little F, I will just say that he is a full-fledged toddler. He talks non-stop, in all three languages. He fights, is funny, naughty, and that you can expect from one of our tribe. He loves his siblings and V and he have a ferociously adorable bond. He gets time outs for throwing food and hitting me but also knows when to come hug and kiss someone. He is a sweet sweet boy, a good friend at school and an obsessive Elmo/Pimpa fan. That's all for now folks.

NYC (Marathon)

Whoa. Who ever thought this would be canceled pre-Sandy? NYC history is now going to have another major separator, pre and post Sandy. While I am very sorry to see the marathon canceled, I understand the public's sentiment. I do feel sorry for the thousands of people who invested hundreds of hours training and for the thousands of people who traveled here to participate in this NYC gem. I know this comment makes some people (a friend almost strangled me over the phone) irate, but I do think you can be an empathetic New Yorker and still be sorry to see the race go. I commend Bloomberg for listening to the mounting opposition and for changing his mind, even if he insists (and I do not see why he would lie) that there was not going to be an issue of diverted personnel. After all, like one of my favorite people always says "only asses (donkeys) never change their minds." The greatest race ever will still be great a year from now. We all hope NYC will be fully recovered from the tragic events of the last week, but we all also know that it cannot ever fully be healed and fixed. We are, however, as New Yorkers, and the citizens of this nation in general, incredibly resourceful (both in means and creativity), generous, and most importantly, teeming with solidarity. This combination makes us stronger and better in times of crises than in regular times. May the power come back on for everyone this weekend, and let the recovery push forward.

Blast From The Past

I just dropped off J at tío D's house for music. His apartment, as most of you know, was originally my father's, then mine, then C's and now his. There are many memories there to say the least. As soon as I got off of the subway with A in the ergo and J holding my hand, it seemed like we were in the middle of a choreographed trip down memory lane. First I saw the deaf man. For years this elderly neighbor entertained me with his mute slapstick communication. All of his stories were about him not being married, not having money, and dying soon. There were pretty much only three gestures involved in his   tales. He was crossing the street and did not see me. The we saw Mehmet, the Turkish fruit stand guy who used to give baby M a free banana every time we passed. When I lived there I began to find ways to avoid that corner, for I felt very guilty taking so many bananas for him and he would not take no for an answer. J wanted to go over to him but not to say hello. I said we were only going if he was going to  say hi. During this tug of war Mehmet noticed us and called us over. One free banana for each kid. He remembered J's name and asked about M and my sister. What a memory! As we proceeded down 94th Street, another neighbor appeared. Our next door neighbor with a hoarding and garbage problem but lots of wigs smiled to me as she hobbled up the street. Remember her? Finally on the stoop was the once handsome and super skinny drug dealer neighbor. His parents were nice, his son so sweet, and he was always up to no good. Skinny dealer is now fat dealer and I imagined how many visits to McDonald's it took to get so heavy so fast. As if on cue, he asked J to give him five and said "what's up little man?" liked he used to say to him four years earlier when he was in a stroller. D's apartment looked pretty good. I opened the closet to get out my wedding albums and found them in three seconds. So many items in those closets. Who knew how good we had it when the walls were plastered with storage space. One day I will have to go over there to deal with my belongings. For now, four years and two kids after moving out, it was nice just to stroll into that previous life, with so many old characters in place, just for a little while.

NYC Day

What a nice NYC morning. Met tía D at 14 st and took the Q to Coney Island. First of all, what a great subway ride, I highly recommend it. The view as you leave Manhattan, the outside travel in Brooklyn, the arrival onto a boardwalk! steps from the beach, your metrocard does not take you anywhere as cool as this. MoJo frolicked in the water before there were really any people on the beach. We explored the aquarium (free with our zoo membership!) and then ate at Nathan's (of course), where I vaguely remembered going as a child. J begged me to take him to the "festable" (ie the nasty amusement park) and we got tickets for two rides each. After ice cream and rides, MoJo was ready for the long ride back to Manhattan. What a fun and inexpensive day. Now we are home, watching some Netflix and waiting for our babies.

First Blood. Boo Hoo.

Yesterday at the playground A bled for the first time. It was very sad and very dramatic. V was already crying after having hit his head and as I consoled him, A fell and bit her tongue (which is perennially out of her mouth). I could not tell what was bleeding at first because she was crying and smearing blood and tears and snot all over her face and my shoulder. The most amazing part of this whole experience was the lack of  help. The playground was FULL of people. Dozens of parents, each with one or two kids, and not a single person approached me as I carried two crying babies, one covered in blood, over to the other side of the playground to get the other two monkeys. Once I had them both in the stroller and had cleaned her face and we were leaving, a man came over to see if I was okay. I think I was pretty unfriendly to him. Thankfully A's tongue bled a lot but only for a little time and it was only a cut and not a lost tooth or something worse. It is comforting to know that should I ever have a bleeding ambulance like emergency in the playground that nobody will care or help. Very nice.

Thursday

Was a full day. Took MoJo to feed Ana the cat, to the market, came home to host twin boy friends of J for a play date. When they left at noon we went to meet tía D for lunch. Yummy greasy grilled cheese. M got picked up by friend. Ran lots of errands, including haircut with J* and then took him to a friend's house. I meant to ask to leave the bags of crap I had with me there but the Asian nanny barely cracked open the door, hardly spoke English (reassuring I know) and I decided to run home to drop stuff off. Train to BT where I finally made some significant progress with the BT auction ceramics. Ran back to get J and then home so I could get M as she was dropped off. Post dinner we went to see our first film at the New Directors New Films Festival. Amazing. Check out http://skipriporplay.blogspot.com/ my other, semi- abandoned blog soon for a review of this incredible film. Long full day. Today brought lots of sun and an impromptu picnic with MoJo. J is off shopping with abuela and M and I are hanging until the bebés return. Mystic here we come tomorrow!
*I took J to a kid's haircutting place, a chain I avoided like the plague since it is a toy store with a hair place nestled inside the marketing nightmare. F complains that the Harlem barber butchers his hair so I spent $32!! (instead of $8) to get an I must admit cute cut. They offered him a video game or a movie while he got his hair cut. Only in NYC, how weird and detached and condescending. J looked at the lady like she was crazy and turned down all 17 of her movie offers. Then the chair, vehicle chair or regular chair? J opted for the regular chair. He was, like me, confused by all of the dumb distractions.

Fun Night!

Last night we went out to dinner at Mermaid Inn and I almost died eating oysters for the first time. They were flat out the most disgusting "thing" I ever put in my mouth. After the first one, which tasted like sea sewage, I almost vomited. We had three different kinds of oysters so I womaned up and tried the second one. Not as garbage-like. Went for number three and it was just as revolting as number one. Who the hell eats these slime ass tasting creatures for fun? We left the restaurant to head over to the MOMA for the New Directors New Films opening reception. Before I tell you about that wild experience, I have a funny bit about F. Mr serious pants, easily embarrassed was peeing in his pants on our way to the party. I suggested we enter a random hotel lobby with conviction (if you look like you know what you are doing you can get away with a lot) and go to the bathroom. Men's room locked. Women's unlocked. I ran in and F ran in after me. It was a good thing that I was over a toilet because I was laughing so hard. I looked at F's feet and suggested he at least turn to pee in a more womanly fashion. He ran out, sprayed some water on his hands and we could not stop laughing. The MOMA reception was amazing. Great DJ (but no dancing), the whole lobby and garden were set up with bars, delicious food, beautiful people everywhere...so this is how the other half lives. Nice to actually get out and see more NY!

One of My Street Squash Kids- Go Go Imani!

Marathon Countdown

in 48 hours I will be hauling ass in Brooklyn. I will have survived the night and morning leading up to the marathon (V woke up at 4:40 and A at 5:30- earlier and earlier) and I will be anxiously looking for familiar faces in the crowds. I do not know if I will walk/crawl the whole race with my mother or jog/walk on my own. I do not know if anybody will be at the finish line, at that point most people will be having dinner after all. I do know that I am lucky as hell to have a coveted spot in the race, to have raised almost 3K for Team For Kids (THANK YOU to all of you who donated any amount), to have full use of my body (4 babies and two back surgeries in 7 years could have taken its toll), and to have both the emotional and physical support of so many friends and family. I could not do it without you. NYC, here I come. I love you NYC Marathon. Let's do it!

PS Is it bad that my big toe is almost sticking out of my sneakers? WTF? I have the same problem with all of my socks.. big toe breaks out. Oh well, a little late to break a new pair in.

So Much To Post, So Little Time

Instated the day wanting to post about the dad and historical nature of the day. The truth is that while I am not sure what just the right amount would be, I found the media's treatment of this day to be too much. Too manipulative, too sensationalist. Anyway, as I walked around the park this am with my parents (yes, my father even came for a while!), I came across a group of runners with 9-11 shirts running with the American flag. I am not a fan of patriotism, nor do I feel particularly American, but when it relates to this earth shattering event, I am moved by the site of the American flag.
I wanted to write to about how nice it was to see my father, how horribly M behaved, how easy the 12 mile walk seemed today, or how nervous MoJo is for school tomorrow.. but that will have to wait. I just put away the strangest and largest order from Fresh Direct (I think I may have been delirious when I ordered enough baby food for two dozen children and a tub of almonds that could feed a small nation) and now I need to deal with my own anxiety about tomorrow- first day of classes for me, for M ("I am nervous"), for J ("I am not ready yet"), going back to PT, coordinating two sitters, F will be in Seattle bla bla you get the picture. A domani!

Harlem Helping Hands

I walked to 125 St in some light drizzle with all 4 kids to get on the elevator to go down to the train. We were late for a theater show. Newsflash! There is no damn elevator at that stop. If you have a stroller or wheelchair you are screwed north of 96St. Thankfully F was still home (did not go to NJ because he had a midday flight to CA) and came to drive us down. Thank you A for taking kiddies to the theater last minute. Once in the 70's, post show and lunch and playground (why the hell do we need Easter Monday off?) I did  what few would do and hopped onto the 2 at 72 St with the train stroller and MoJo knowing that there was no lift at the other end. A cried and got transferred onto me in a carrier. M read, J looked out the window and put his mouth on it (yummy!) and V looked around. Once at our stop, I walked with purpose to the stairs and hoped someone would offer to help. Multiple people did. I snapped V's car seat out and a lady carried him up. Another lady helped me bump up the stroller (child free) and another guy was on hand to help but I did not let him because I felt sort of embarrassed. It was obvious that I expected help when I opted to train it and I felt guilty. Well, not that guilty as I now plan on taking the train more often. I thanked my helpers, one of whom said "no problem, you have your hands full." Word. Were I to have a status label online it could be that "hands full." I am going to try to put down A so I can go to sleep too. Vis down. Thanks A. Thanks strangers.

Snow Day!

I did not think it would happen but it snowed 11 more inches! and Bloomberg wanted to be cautious. Of course you should also thank M, who upon her teacher's instructions slept with her pjs inside out and backwards to obtain a snow day (her look of accomplishment this am was priceless). I actually would rather be in school than trapped at home with tarps and buckets. But, I am hoping that lunch at Lolita's, lots of TV and drawing will get us through the day. It has already snowed over 50 inches this winter (much more than double what it snows on average in a winter). Enough!

Yo Mama!

As I focused on the crunchy snow below my feet walking home from the gym, a huge black man hollered out to me
Yo Mama! Twins?
Yup.
You fucking with me?
Nope.
Last girl I spoke to with a belly like that went into labor.
Please do not say that. I am not ready.
Nah. Congratulations. (big smile)
Never a dull moment in the hood.

Oggi

Today was a good day. Productive at work without getting too tired. Met with my sister to tackle the Smart Board after school (ugh, technology!). Good physical therapy session (my last before labor I ask myself every week?). On the 2 train on the way home I had too many bags and it was too crowded. One stop later seats opened up but were quickly snatched. I now officially look like I am either 9 months pregnant or a sci-fi character but nobody offered me a seat.. A black man (what I often wish I were) asked me if I wanted to sit. He was standing and I said "Oh, I am okay" and just moved over. He then proceeded to tell another young black man to get up and give me his seat. Like an order, but polite. I smiled and thanked both of them (the one who gave up his seat was not amused) and felt grateful for being a New Yorker.