Today's Comments

J asked a boy in the park for his phone number today and waited anxiously to call him. This is some of what I overheard (so cute!): Can I call you in the morning? So I should call you when I am done brushing my teeth and getting dressed?

Then: I can't meet you at the park tomorrow. I am going to the Statue of Liberty. Maybe you can come with me?

After V pooped in his pants in his wet bathing suit at the park (wtf?) he announced that he had to do it again. This of course, after we left the bathroom and 1000 wipes later: This is my last emergency.

J to a group of black kids in the park he was playing basketball with: This, is how you dunk!

V to me on our way back to the park: Why I don't have a cooking class mamá?

Recent Lines...

V said sucker today and I told him that was not a nice word. In typical V fashion, he tried to backpedal and said: I did not say 'sucker'- I said 'fucker.' I told him that was not nice either and succeeded to do so with a straight face. This only got him more heated: FUCK HER I said. FUCK HER. NOT SUCKER. FUCKER! By then, I was cracking up and this only made him louder and more agitated.

M and J are into saying "epic" for anything remotely cool (or not). A has adapted this term, except that she says "effic." Lots of effic things going on.

When A wanted a third dessert I said, you ate enough. You do not want to do this (I puffed my cheeks). V added: Fat. Fat and boring.

J: I would die for any kid younger than me. I mean I have had more life than them.

A trying to convince M to let her sleep on her bed: Are you a cool girl M?
M: Yeah
A: Well cool girls sleep with little girls right? I am coming to your bed.

Boy Banter

J: When I grow up I am going to have a job but on the weekends I am just going to help people who do not have a house or food.

V: Can we buy a different house? This one has no backyard for me to get out (V was obsessed with "backyard" of NC)

Babababanter

V as a woman exited the bathroom at Bettolona, where we had been waiting a few minutes: Did she poop? (Whiff)

V as he accused me of getting soap in his eyes: When papi comes home I am going to tell him to kill you.
Me: What? Do you know what that means?
V: Something bad.

Me to V as he sat by the edge of the pool: What are you doing?
V: There is a little fart waiting at the bottom to come out.

A, to a 12 year old or so boy at the pool: Do you want to be my friend?
Boy: What? Where is your friend?
A, insistent:No, do you want to be my friend?
Boy: Little kids are funny.

V in the car out of the blue: Now I know how to ice skate, I learned at BT.

V after 9 hours in the car heading to the Outerbanks: There is no North Carolina here.

Washington DC a la V: Washington To (2?) See
Washington Dc a la A: Washington See

J: V has man poops.

V: I follow constructions (instructions).

A: Zip it, lock it, put in your pocket.

A: Can we watch Neckfliss in this cab?

J: I love you so much, I would sacrifice myself for you.

V after 11.5 hours in the car as we crossed the bridge to Manhattan: I can't be here, I have to be in New York.

A: Are you seriously?

After I imitated his argumentative "well": I say "well", you do not say "well" mamá.

V to me (for no real reason): You cannot handle the truth!
Me: What? What truth?
V: I know the truth and you cannot know it.

V to F: I want you to break the window (of the car) so mamá can fly outside.

V: I do not know how to help people who are lost.

More Comments

M: Why don't we live in Miami? It is such a great destination!

M to J when he doubted that a girl liked him: If you were not my brother and you were my age, I would have a crush on you.

M: Life is overrated!

M about beating the crap out of J in the car: We were not hitting each other, it was aggressive play.

A as we listened to classical music on the radio: Is that J playing the piano?

M, when I told her my 6 month vegan phase was over: So, did you like get in shape?
Me: No.
M: So being a vegan was just having your mouth water and diarrhea?

J's friend to me: Is it true J is allergic to homework?

V to the ocean: Slow down water, I know you are excited.

V to me: I am totally starving. Trust me.

V: My belly says (makes squeaky voice): No more dinner, dessert please.

V Mania

When I said he could not eat something: What do you mean? You say no but food is for everyone. If you do not give me ice cream then you have to give me pretzels.

If I eat this chicken, then I need to stay in Miami for eva and eva and eva.

to tia S: I am going to put you in a hole and I am going to keep your doggie. I am also going to put your mom in there and throw a piano at you (can you tell we watch Looney Tunes?)

on the beach last night: Figaro! Figaro! Figaro!

I am not in trouble, trouble means you are in jail.

I dreamed about Santa and L.

to abuelo r: Your teeth are green. And grey.

Me: Do you like medialunas or sandwiches de miga or churros better?
V: Both, in my belly.

V to tia C: Do you know you are fat because you eat a lot?

V angry in the pool: This is not my stupid life!

V in the pool: I need to poop. Should I go in the bushes?

V playing on beach with sand: I am putting gay power in it!
Me: What?
V: Cinnamon!

I'm a Swimma!

Torino cracked the code yesterday and finally began to swim on his own! He began by scooping and kicking while vertical and soon overcame his fear and got horizontal. His look of sheer pride and joy after every increasingly extended swim stretch was priceless. Once he put his goggles on, he was ready to swim until he dropped. Every time he cam out to go again he announced "chapter 3" (or 4 or 6) or "on your march, get set, go!" If only I could gain such a cool skill and be so fulfilled in a day. After he got his sundae reward by the pool, A jumped in to try some independent swimming of her own.

¡Torino!

V as I hugged him: Can you stop now, my neck bones are hurting.

Some V Lingo:
Sixties Handles (16 handles- fro yo place)
Can I have sprinklers on it? (sprinkles)
Can I get in the sprinkles? (sprinklers in park)

Me: You are all red, are you hot?
V: No, it is from when we were in the park (2 hours before) and I was frustrated. I get red when I am frustrated.

Me to V this am when I turned the tv off at 7:15am: Let's read a book.
V: I am tried of listening to stories. Sorry. I am on a break, I am going to sit in this chair for my break.

¡¡¡VAMOS ARGENTINA!!!

Last night was AMAZING. As irrational and crazy as fútbol can be, it is equally one of the most beautiful feelings and triumphs to experience. I know that there are still many that do not care for the sport here (although I am impressed with how many more people are into this world cup than when we hosted it here in 1994) and that sadly our neighbors in Brazil are rooting for us to lose (spread the love yo- you have 5 cups!) but I do not care because right now.. my heart is full. The Empire State Building is even celebrating with me. The joy and madness that erupted in Harlem (by which I mean my living room) as Argentina made each penalty kick and Holland did not... was MAGIC. All four of my midgets looked at me like I had LOST my mind and then joined in the chanting and jumping on the couch. V is a big fan (I make him wear his shirt every game for good luck) as is J. The ladies are being converted too as they have had dozens of hours of the sport forced upon them in the last few weeks. When we won in 1978 I lived in Buenos Aires and have a vague recollection of the chanting and the horn honking. My mother says I participated and after screaming Argentina for a while asked her what it meant:) In 1986 I was in Vermont when we won but I remember that the whole camp watched and that I swelled with pride even though I was the only Argentine there. When my (north) american friends express joy and interest in a win for my little country- I love the whole experience even more and I feel (undeserved) pride in what we can accomplish in soccer. Argentina may be riddled with problems and poverty and injustices but we have PASSION and apparently a lot of talent (of the top three players who come to mind Brazil my friend, 2 are ours!). I love you MESSI even if they give you a hard time. There is no equivalent experience to an afternoon at Boca Juniors stadium - you cannot bottle that kind of emotion, cursing, and sheer glee. While I echo V's sentiment when he asked tía C "take me with you to Argentina" as we walked her to the subway to JFK last night during the game... I will be satisfied with a WIN while I sit in NY. If we can win our third cup, it will be 3 I can remember, 3 in my lifetime, and finally something WONDERFUL for a country that deserves it. ¡Vamos carajo!

¡Volveremos volvermos. Volveremos otra vez. Volveremos a ser campeones. Como en el 86!

Back Banter

A to her friend: Shush, let's sing Frozen..
she then proceeds to make a serious face and begins to sing not one, but two different songs from the movie she has never seen! Too much.

V to L when she said they could call an ambulance for his booboo: Your nose is going to grow like Pinochio for telling mentiras!
L: Ay qué lindo.
V: I am not lindo. I am a bad boy!

V to A in hotel as she wailed: I cannot snuggle if you are screaming.

V: What kind of bones are in your penis?

M when I remarked that it was odd that nobody had commented on my purple highlights: I think they were trying to be polite.

V as we got off the elevator: Good job mamá, you did not leave me on there (I have before :()

J to abuela when she told him what (not) to do: You are not my husband!

Me to V at restaurant: I am nervous they are going to yell at you for standing on the seat.
V to Me: I am nervous they are not going to yell at me.

V to Me and F: Why you call each other "puch"?
Me: Why do I call you bubalón?
V: Because I love you!

A: I want to go to Philadelphia (aka tía C's)
Me: We are in Philly.
A: Not the hotel. Philadelphia.

V: Do you know how to drive?
Me: Yes.
V; Do you know how to park?
Me: Not really.
V: You can try. You can learn.

V: Do not stink my bathroom! Only kids can use it.

V in car to PA: Are we going to Remont?

Papá

So I failed to write a birthday post. Apologies. Happy (belated) birthday! To the best dad I have ever had. Seriously, to the one

who always comes to visit, even if it means getting up at 4am
who will sleep anywhere (anytime)
will appreciate and applaud all of his children's accomplishments
will schlep you or your stuff anywhere without complaining
asks for help with electronics 1000 times per day
eats anything with jam and leaves that sticky knife on your counter
enjoys you and your children just as you are
tqtytamfcmc

AleVit Sass

F to A after she hits V: please do not hit. it hurts! It also hurts his feelings.

A: Boys don't have feelings.

Me to A after she hit V: You are hurting his feelings.
A: His earrings? Or his feelings?

V (dressed as Batman): I am Batman!

A: Batman, shut your mouth.

When I told V to relax his butt so I could wipe him: That is what butts do- they stay closed.

V, when I told him he was not going to ride his scooter on the subway platform: I am, and if you do not let me I am going to get on the train and leave you here.

V asked his teacher what a sign said. She responded: No smoking in the park.
V: But I always smoke in the park. My mom and dad always let me smoke in the park.

V after he told me he was a dog: You can pet the dog.
Me: Ok
V: But you need to ask.
I ask A: Can I pet your dog?
A: I rather you not.

Recently

A to me when I am getting frustrated: Do you love me?
Me: Yes.
A: If you love me you should be happy. Are you happy?

Me to A: Soon it is (baby) M's birthday! She is turning one.
A: Do you mean two?

V to baby M in the car (over and over again): My feet are big your feet are little.

V to me when I go out at night: When you leave, stay!

V to me: If you do not listen, booboos will hurt.

V to anyone when he wants more time for something: Let me see your watch. two more minutes.

Back Banter

Me to M this am: Get up- last day of school!
M: No, I have 13 more years!

Abuela to V: Can I give you a kiss?
V: No.
Abuela: Can I give A a kiss?
V: No. You are not in this family and this is not your house.
A: This is not your house but you are in the family.

V to A: You are fivving (fibbing).
A: Kids do not say fivving. Only grown ups.

V when he wants more (unreasonably) of something: My stomach is growling for it mamá.

M after I drove us to camping: Mamá, if I closed my eyes I would have thought papi was driving except for the part when you almost crashed.

First Grade Writers Breakfast- He's a Great ONE!

Today!

We are off to camp! It might be great and it might be terrible, but I am sure it will be memorable. You should see the volume of gear that we have for our under 24 hour trip. We have a brand new 6 person tent. Sleeping bags, rain gear, half our kitchen (F's favorite part is cooking out). I really hope it does not rain.
Now for an update on our lives....Recent happenings include A getting the worst haircut ever (think feathered, layered, mullet from late 70s/early 80s), J getting his yellow belt in karate (hiya!) and playing a great concert Thursday night.
AleVit pumped for camping. Someone mentioned bears and they are slightly petrified at the prospect ("papi has a button to scare the bears right?).
No news on the home front. Cannot find one we like and no takers for ours. The search continues.
Last week I completed the Aids Walk with DB and it was great! My first one was 25 years earlier!! and I raised over $1300 (I calculate at least 25K over my walking career).
Have a great long weekend. Over and out!

Get It While It's Hot!

M to me last night after I told her how lovely her behavior was: I am going to persuade J and A and V to behave as well so even though it seems impossible to believe, you could have some time to yourself.

M: I think females gain weight more easily than males. We have to make an effort to not be chubby (wish this were not true!)

V: I miss mayor Giorgio (i think he meant nonno)

V looking at a woman with lipstick: She has nail polish on her mouth!

V to J in the shower (their new brotherly activity): My penis is bigger than yours. And bigger than papi's.

V to F: I have good news and bad news.
F: What is the bad news.
V: It is the good news.
F: Yes?
V: My penis is bigger than yours.

V to me as I kissed his tush: You know there is poop in there!

J to F: Can you cut my eyelashes? They are too long.

J when asked which was his favorite stuffed animal: Pinguino. But I use the bear to dry my tears :(

V leaving Mannes: This is my favorite place!

V on subway platform: I want to go uptown!
Me: We are going downtown:
V: I love uptown! It is the best.

A to me: You have dark brown skin and I have dark brown skin.
Me: What about papi?
A: Light.
Me: J?
A: Light.
Me: M?
A: Light.
Me: V?
A: Light?
V: So just the two of us have dark skin?
A: No, also R (a black/Indian classmate).

Late But Sweet

This is what I got on Mother's Day from J:
Dear mama,
I love you because you made me! You are speashle because you are the best at being a Mom. Happy Mothers Day, Love (the v is a heart), J

Back Banter

J: I do not even know what the F word means.
Me: Do not worry about it.
J: I do not know what any of the words mean; like nerd, and freak

V, remembering tío G's fabulous fart trick: I am going to pull G's finger!

J to me: I am going to take a shower so fast that before you can say "dictionary" I will be done.

M to J who was taunting V with a toy: You are ruining his childhood!

J: I want to be a superhero. You know, like really talented. Like Godzilla.
Me: Is this for Halloween or real life?
J: (pause). Halloween. For real life I want to be in a rock band and a scientist.

A as we rushed home to the bathroom: If you press my belly too hard I will poop in the street.

V to A: I will buy you a scooter.
A: All by yourself?

M: I hope my kids are not as rude as I am. They will get it from me. That is not fair to you.

M: I just figured out that I am not a morning person.

M: I am tomboy.
Me: Really? But you love make up.
M: Tomboys need to be attractive too. Just not girlie.

V (or A?) to me: If you do not listen to your boo boo, it will hurt.

Me to J after karate test: Why were you nervous?
J: I could lose the test. I had a 50/50 chance.

HAPPY 4-0 Tía D!!!

Thank you for a fun night and for 34 years of unconditional friendship. I cannot wait to share this next decade with you. I love you very very much!