Today!

We are off to camp! It might be great and it might be terrible, but I am sure it will be memorable. You should see the volume of gear that we have for our under 24 hour trip. We have a brand new 6 person tent. Sleeping bags, rain gear, half our kitchen (F's favorite part is cooking out). I really hope it does not rain.
Now for an update on our lives....Recent happenings include A getting the worst haircut ever (think feathered, layered, mullet from late 70s/early 80s), J getting his yellow belt in karate (hiya!) and playing a great concert Thursday night.
AleVit pumped for camping. Someone mentioned bears and they are slightly petrified at the prospect ("papi has a button to scare the bears right?).
No news on the home front. Cannot find one we like and no takers for ours. The search continues.
Last week I completed the Aids Walk with DB and it was great! My first one was 25 years earlier!! and I raised over $1300 (I calculate at least 25K over my walking career).
Have a great long weekend. Over and out!

Get It While It's Hot!

M to me last night after I told her how lovely her behavior was: I am going to persuade J and A and V to behave as well so even though it seems impossible to believe, you could have some time to yourself.

M: I think females gain weight more easily than males. We have to make an effort to not be chubby (wish this were not true!)

V: I miss mayor Giorgio (i think he meant nonno)

V looking at a woman with lipstick: She has nail polish on her mouth!

V to J in the shower (their new brotherly activity): My penis is bigger than yours. And bigger than papi's.

V to F: I have good news and bad news.
F: What is the bad news.
V: It is the good news.
F: Yes?
V: My penis is bigger than yours.

V to me as I kissed his tush: You know there is poop in there!

J to F: Can you cut my eyelashes? They are too long.

J when asked which was his favorite stuffed animal: Pinguino. But I use the bear to dry my tears :(

V leaving Mannes: This is my favorite place!

V on subway platform: I want to go uptown!
Me: We are going downtown:
V: I love uptown! It is the best.

A to me: You have dark brown skin and I have dark brown skin.
Me: What about papi?
A: Light.
Me: J?
A: Light.
Me: M?
A: Light.
Me: V?
A: Light?
V: So just the two of us have dark skin?
A: No, also R (a black/Indian classmate).

Late But Sweet

This is what I got on Mother's Day from J:
Dear mama,
I love you because you made me! You are speashle because you are the best at being a Mom. Happy Mothers Day, Love (the v is a heart), J

Back Banter

J: I do not even know what the F word means.
Me: Do not worry about it.
J: I do not know what any of the words mean; like nerd, and freak

V, remembering tío G's fabulous fart trick: I am going to pull G's finger!

J to me: I am going to take a shower so fast that before you can say "dictionary" I will be done.

M to J who was taunting V with a toy: You are ruining his childhood!

J: I want to be a superhero. You know, like really talented. Like Godzilla.
Me: Is this for Halloween or real life?
J: (pause). Halloween. For real life I want to be in a rock band and a scientist.

A as we rushed home to the bathroom: If you press my belly too hard I will poop in the street.

V to A: I will buy you a scooter.
A: All by yourself?

M: I hope my kids are not as rude as I am. They will get it from me. That is not fair to you.

M: I just figured out that I am not a morning person.

M: I am tomboy.
Me: Really? But you love make up.
M: Tomboys need to be attractive too. Just not girlie.

V (or A?) to me: If you do not listen to your boo boo, it will hurt.

Me to J after karate test: Why were you nervous?
J: I could lose the test. I had a 50/50 chance.

HAPPY 4-0 Tía D!!!

Thank you for a fun night and for 34 years of unconditional friendship. I cannot wait to share this next decade with you. I love you very very much!

Chatter

M to A: Stop trying to be cool.
A: I am not trying to be cool. I am trying to be awesome!

M when she saw me dressed up last night (hair down, black dress, some lipstick): You look beautiful mamá.
V: You look like a witch!

J: I am having a sleepover with (tío) G on June 27! I am going to put it in my calendar. But what if I get confused the year after?
Me: Well, the days of the week fall on different days on different years.
J: June 27. I am going to ask him to make it a tradition!

A, to me, several times a day since I had surgery: Remember mamá- ZERO uppies.

Tidbits

A: Every princess needs high heels.

A's special terms:
ballallay (ballet)
dentist in your mouth (retainer)
alligator (elevator)
sushi (smoothie)
dekilat (delicate)
blond (wand)

J, after F told him that he did not think they needed to kiss on the lips ("boys do not kiss on the lips"): Yes they do. Sons and fathers do and so do gay husbands.

Comments

M to me: Thank you for being generous. I should be in bed now. If you were the horrible mother that I describe you as, I would be in bed.

A while dancing: I have lots of moves!

V, every time he sense me getting irritated/flustered: Mamá, are you happy? Más o menos happy? Do you love me?


M after meeting some adopted African children: Mamá, I am not saying you did a bad thing, but how come we have not adopted any children? I would love a brother or sister from Africa. I would love him extra.

J: Do you start practicing cutting kid nails when you are pregnant? How do you learn to do it?

Funny Guys

Me to J when I saw him after 9 days!: I missed you so much!
J: I almost forgot about you.

Me to A: You are going to have a time out.
A: A time out? (laughing uncontrollably) Holy guacamole!

V to our new found friend/cousin when he broke out in Spanish: Amiga, siéntate aquí. Ya está.

V upon returning to the nursing home where he had freaked out the day before: Is she still viejita?
Me: Yes
V, screaming desperately: No! Not viejita!

J: Why is it "J walking?" It should be C walking for criminal walking!

A after a 10 hour flight: Are we at A (her bff)'s house?

A on the flight back: A is best for me!

A after wetting her underwear: I peed. Don't be feerious mamá.

V when he noticed that I was walking on the outside to protect him: Are you protectoring me?

A to me in a taxi in Bs As: Princesses sit in prince trucks, not in cabs.

A when she saw that cabs were yellow on top but mostly black in Bs As: Why are the taxis all dirty?

A on mosque domes: They look like the circus.

March 31

And it was snowing/raining this morning. Spring, where are you? I have been remiss about posting and there is not way to synthesize the last two weeks now but...
we are back in NYC after our multi-destination escapade. MoJo had a blast and did not think twice about not seeing us for a 9 days (ouch). AleVit got to be "only children" and to feast in Argentina (yes, veganism was abandoned) while yours truly ate everything in site. As usual, seeing family and friends sucked all the time away so that I did not stroll a single street, go to a museum, buy anything or have any true down time. There is something truly special, sad, and nostalgic about going to Argentina. I belong there and I do not. I am sad that I will never live there, yet I could not. I have close friends and my whole extended (ironically small given the size of our nuclear one) family there. We had a lovely host family and it was great to have my boyfriend come down to meet us. He sure is good with the kids. I fell in love with my cousin's daughter, the most enthusiastic child, and therefore person, that I have ever met. I grappled with death and the loss of dignity that comes to all as the end approaches. I reveled in my fatty bombatty chatting in español with his funny accent and expressions. The last leg of the trip was to Miami, where we encountered the duo formerly known as MoJo. This new one, is tan, cool, has friends in the neighborhood, and sails! Food and family were fabulous as always in FLA- thank you for hosting the big monkeys and then all of us!! My only regret is being such a clutz that I re-broke my pinky toe (and fucked up part of my foot) so that I am now walking around in pain, like a gimp. Back to school was decent enough today. We have just over 2 months left, so it is time to kick it into high gear. Thank you spring break. Where are you spring?

Separation

From when you give birth, you literally begin the process known as separation. When babies begin to realize that they are a separate entity that can be separated from you, their mother, they can get separation anxiety. My children, for better or worse, are not that attached to me. Or so I thought. Their father travels regularly. I am the constant presence. When I have had to leave them for a night (surgery or to deliver a sibling) I have fretted. When we went to Paris for a long weekend without MoJo, I counted down the hours until our return (they did not give a crap). Well, it appears that I may have underestimated J's sensitivity. The night before leaving for Disney, J crawled into my bed crying. I thought it was morning (it was actually 4:40am) and entertained his chat. J said he was too scared to go to Disney and preferred to not go and stay with me. I assured him that it would be a blast, that I would send him with daily notes, that he was going to be with his grandparents... when morning did come, neither one of us mentioned the episode. He went off happy, with his stash of notes (and pictures of his parents, upon his request). While I am certain that he will be fine, 9 days is a long time. Especially when the longest you have ever done is 2. Now I see that it is not just long and hard for me, but maybe also a bit for him. I cannot wait to hug that midget in Miami in 8 days!

LInes

A wearing adult red shiny heels (M's from Halloween): When I was born, I was wearing these heels.

A as she continued to be naughty in a time out after I told her she was not even sorry: You are right, I am not sorry.

A: This is my brother and his name is...w(to V) what's your name?
V: Attach!
A: My name is attach too. We both are attach.
Me: Do you know what attach means? Together, connected. Like twins.
A: Of course we are not twins.

J: Moms are importanter than dads in the family.
Me: Why?
J: They have the babies.

V ordered french toast at lunch yesterday. When pizzas started to come, he said he wanted pizza.
Me: You ordered french toast.
V: I was joking!

A; How do you say "mustache" in spanish?

A pointing to a woman at the bus stop: Maybe that woman is a bruja!

M, after I explained, upon her request, social security numbers: Why do I need a number? We are basically like robots!

V: Why did they make the sky blue? It was white!

J I need to pack money for the trip!
Me: No you don't. Abuela S will pay for everything.
J: What about room service?

V oh V

Me to V: Did you hit A?
V: I did not! I slapped her.

Me to V as he spread out the hummus he was supposed to be wiping up: You are not cleaning. You are making a bigger mess!
V: I do not know how to clean :(

V to M as he gobbled up sushi M wanted: This is not good for you M.

V to L: I am getting big. I am strong. I am going to be a grown up!

Charla

V putting one of J's hats on Cleo (aka Chloe), the dog: He's a rock star!

J to me, holding baby M: Are you her grandmother?
Me: Do you think I am old enough to be her grandmother?
J: Yeah.

J: War is like dodgeball but with guns but when you are out, you are in heaven.

J when I asked him why he had ashes on his forehead on Ash Wednesday: I wanted a blessing.

Me: What is a blessing?
J: From G-d. (shit!)

M: Why do so many buildings have security guards?
Me: They are doormen. Nice buildings have them but not all buildings.
M: So papi is our security guard?

M on her Argentine friend: We are like each other's guides. I help her with English and she helps me with Spanish.

J was dying to talk to the two realtors who came over to assess our apt, one had a motorcycle helmet. J to the other guy: Do you ride on the back of his bike?
Guy: No, I ride the subway.
J: So do you guys live together?
A little later... Do you guys want to play minion Monopoly with me when you are done talking to my mom?

31 Days Vegan for What?

Not sure. Do I look and feel a lot better? Not really. Has it been very hard to cut out cheese and butter and eggs etc? I must say that it has been surprisingly easy. While I am certain that nothing bad is going to happen to me for cutting dairy and fish out... nothing great has happened either. I am more impressed with my ability to live without wine (had it once to survive a BORING dinner) and chocolate (yup, you heard it here). So, I am proud of myself for being able to do anything for 30 days (not floss, not avoid yelling, not daily sit ups... nada), this has turned out to be a not particularly successful endeavor. I am going to try to add more physical activity to my mix to see if anything changes. Ideas?

Duo Banter

A: What's going on?
V: I am not telling you!
A: I am talking to myself.

Me: V, why did you pee on the floor?
V: I did not, my penis lifted up with the pee and did it.

Me: ¿Sabés dónde está pinguino?
A: Of course! (She did not)

A: I am a big girl and you are a little boy.
V: No, I am not. I am big.
A: No, I am the queen. You are little.

My mother to V (her favorite game): I am putting you in jail!
V: Grandmas do not put people in jail!

V: Why is the sky so high?

V to F: The day I become A, I will like chocolate!

V when he gave me a paper he scribbled on: This is mami with papi on top of her.

Happy Birthday Ciccione!

J is 7!!! Remember when M being 7 seemed sooo old? It is here. Even though we celebrated his birthday party last week by taking 11! friends to The Lego Movie and lunch, we are in full celebration mode today. J takes his birthday very seriously and is concerned about all of the fanily members who did not make it to NY. We chose some crappy (artificially) flavored cake for me to make last night for his classmates and negotiated a non corn syrup juice (his line trying to convince me to buy a blue liquid that looked fit for a windshield "nobody is allergic to corn syrup- why can't we get that?") to share with his class. In a few minutes I will wake him up to open gifts. We will have to modify our tradition of opening presents in our bed because nonna is still downstairs! We will be pressed for time as MoJo needs to get spiffied up (formal day) for their lower school Spring Concert. After school I will go with MoJo to get the other monkeys at BT and we will come home to celebrate with NYC family. We LOVE you ciccione. Right about this time 7 years ago, I was getting ready to go to the hospital (or maybe I was there already?)- a;; 200 pounds of me. I remember them sending me for a 2 hour walk to the Time Warner Center. I also remember coming back after one and demanding that you be born. I was in the worst pain ever (still can say his labor was the WORST pain ever) and contemplated giving myself a C-section to make it end. Well worth every ounce of suffering. We are so happy to have you Ciccione- the sweetest drummin' boy in the City!

Lines

J to tío G on their sleepover: Do you have a girlfriend?
G: No.
J: Why not? Your younger brother has one. That's just weird.

V: Can I have a sleepover with Cleo and Buster (tía C's dogs)?

M: I want to make memories at a sleep away camp.

When I prompted V to say "Happy (Valentine's) Day to a teacher: Happy New York City!

When J was screaming "Bye" like a maniac to tío G up Lenox Ave I said: You sound crazy. Stop
J: I am crazy about loving him. I miss him already!

M: When I am old I am going to dye my hair and uncrumple my skin with cream.

J (or M? Cannot remember): Is drunk contagious? Can you give it to someone else?

Me to V, trying to get him to share his bowl of fruit: Sharing is caring!
V: I do not want to care.

My Best Valentine EVER

Dear Mom and Dad,
I love you so much because you are so so so so nice to me. You are so patient with me. I dont know wath I wood do when you are ded. I hope you live to your 100s. I wonder wath I wod be like if I wer born with a difrent famally. Love J

Latest...

V to A as she sat on the couch recovering from a meltdown: Are you happy now? Can you dance with me?

V in the tub: I am growing up into papi!

V to my mother in law with A's magic wand: Presto! You are out of my house!

A to me: Does abuela S have feets?

M to me: I am allergic to behaving.

J to me: Can we go to public school so you do not have to spend the money?

V to me: I am drilling to make you cool.
Me: What?
V: I am drilling to make you a pattern shirt!

V called a friend (Jasper) of J's Jazzman and a friend of M's (Nola), Granola:)

Granola to M as we approached our apt: Do you have the goodest room?