When I said he could not eat something: What do you mean? You say no but food is for everyone. If you do not give me ice cream then you have to give me pretzels.
If I eat this chicken, then I need to stay in Miami for eva and eva and eva.
to tia S: I am going to put you in a hole and I am going to keep your doggie. I am also going to put your mom in there and throw a piano at you (can you tell we watch Looney Tunes?)
on the beach last night: Figaro! Figaro! Figaro!
I am not in trouble, trouble means you are in jail.
I dreamed about Santa and L.
to abuelo r: Your teeth are green. And grey.
Me: Do you like medialunas or sandwiches de miga or churros better?
V: Both, in my belly.
V to tia C: Do you know you are fat because you eat a lot?
V angry in the pool: This is not my stupid life!
V in the pool: I need to poop. Should I go in the bushes?
V playing on beach with sand: I am putting gay power in it!
Me: What?
V: Cinnamon!
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Friday, July 25, 2014
I'm a Swimma!
Torino cracked the code yesterday and finally began to swim on his own! He began by scooping and kicking while vertical and soon overcame his fear and got horizontal. His look of sheer pride and joy after every increasingly extended swim stretch was priceless. Once he put his goggles on, he was ready to swim until he dropped. Every time he cam out to go again he announced "chapter 3" (or 4 or 6) or "on your march, get set, go!" If only I could gain such a cool skill and be so fulfilled in a day. After he got his sundae reward by the pool, A jumped in to try some independent swimming of her own.
Saturday, July 12, 2014
¡Torino!
V as I hugged him: Can you stop now, my neck bones are hurting.
Some V Lingo:
Sixties Handles (16 handles- fro yo place)
Can I have sprinklers on it? (sprinkles)
Can I get in the sprinkles? (sprinklers in park)
Me: You are all red, are you hot?
V: No, it is from when we were in the park (2 hours before) and I was frustrated. I get red when I am frustrated.
Me to V this am when I turned the tv off at 7:15am: Let's read a book.
V: I am tried of listening to stories. Sorry. I am on a break, I am going to sit in this chair for my break.
Some V Lingo:
Sixties Handles (16 handles- fro yo place)
Can I have sprinklers on it? (sprinkles)
Can I get in the sprinkles? (sprinklers in park)
Me: You are all red, are you hot?
V: No, it is from when we were in the park (2 hours before) and I was frustrated. I get red when I am frustrated.
Me to V this am when I turned the tv off at 7:15am: Let's read a book.
V: I am tried of listening to stories. Sorry. I am on a break, I am going to sit in this chair for my break.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
¡¡¡VAMOS ARGENTINA!!!
¡Volveremos volvermos. Volveremos otra vez. Volveremos a ser campeones. Como en el 86!
Monday, July 7, 2014
Back Banter
A to her friend: Shush, let's sing Frozen..
she then proceeds to make a serious face and begins to sing not one, but two different songs from the movie she has never seen! Too much.
V to L when she said they could call an ambulance for his booboo: Your nose is going to grow like Pinochio for telling mentiras!
L: Ay qué lindo.
V: I am not lindo. I am a bad boy!
V to A in hotel as she wailed: I cannot snuggle if you are screaming.
V: What kind of bones are in your penis?
M when I remarked that it was odd that nobody had commented on my purple highlights: I think they were trying to be polite.
V as we got off the elevator: Good job mamá, you did not leave me on there (I have before :()
J to abuela when she told him what (not) to do: You are not my husband!
Me to V at restaurant: I am nervous they are going to yell at you for standing on the seat.
V to Me: I am nervous they are not going to yell at me.
V to Me and F: Why you call each other "puch"?
Me: Why do I call you bubalón?
V: Because I love you!
A: I want to go to Philadelphia (aka tía C's)
Me: We are in Philly.
A: Not the hotel. Philadelphia.
V: Do you know how to drive?
Me: Yes.
V; Do you know how to park?
Me: Not really.
V: You can try. You can learn.
V: Do not stink my bathroom! Only kids can use it.
V in car to PA: Are we going to Remont?
she then proceeds to make a serious face and begins to sing not one, but two different songs from the movie she has never seen! Too much.
V to L when she said they could call an ambulance for his booboo: Your nose is going to grow like Pinochio for telling mentiras!
L: Ay qué lindo.
V: I am not lindo. I am a bad boy!
V to A in hotel as she wailed: I cannot snuggle if you are screaming.
V: What kind of bones are in your penis?
M when I remarked that it was odd that nobody had commented on my purple highlights: I think they were trying to be polite.
V as we got off the elevator: Good job mamá, you did not leave me on there (I have before :()
J to abuela when she told him what (not) to do: You are not my husband!
Me to V at restaurant: I am nervous they are going to yell at you for standing on the seat.
V to Me: I am nervous they are not going to yell at me.
V to Me and F: Why you call each other "puch"?
Me: Why do I call you bubalón?
V: Because I love you!
A: I want to go to Philadelphia (aka tía C's)
Me: We are in Philly.
A: Not the hotel. Philadelphia.
V: Do you know how to drive?
Me: Yes.
V; Do you know how to park?
Me: Not really.
V: You can try. You can learn.
V: Do not stink my bathroom! Only kids can use it.
V in car to PA: Are we going to Remont?
Friday, June 27, 2014
Papá
who always comes to visit, even if it means getting up at 4am
who will sleep anywhere (anytime)
will appreciate and applaud all of his children's accomplishments
will schlep you or your stuff anywhere without complaining
asks for help with electronics 1000 times per day
eats anything with jam and leaves that sticky knife on your counter
enjoys you and your children just as you are
tqtytamfcmc
Sunday, June 22, 2014
AleVit Sass
F to A after she hits V: please do not hit. it hurts! It also hurts his feelings.
A: Boys don't have feelings.
Me to A after she hit V: You are hurting his feelings.
A: His earrings? Or his feelings?
Me to A after she hit V: You are hurting his feelings.
A: His earrings? Or his feelings?
V (dressed as Batman): I am Batman!
A: Batman, shut your mouth.
When I told V to relax his butt so I could wipe him: That is what butts do- they stay closed.
V, when I told him he was not going to ride his scooter on the subway platform: I am, and if you do not let me I am going to get on the train and leave you here.
V asked his teacher what a sign said. She responded: No smoking in the park.
V: But I always smoke in the park. My mom and dad always let me smoke in the park.
V after he told me he was a dog: You can pet the dog.
Me: Ok
V: But you need to ask.
I ask A: Can I pet your dog?
A: I rather you not.
When I told V to relax his butt so I could wipe him: That is what butts do- they stay closed.
V, when I told him he was not going to ride his scooter on the subway platform: I am, and if you do not let me I am going to get on the train and leave you here.
V asked his teacher what a sign said. She responded: No smoking in the park.
V: But I always smoke in the park. My mom and dad always let me smoke in the park.
V after he told me he was a dog: You can pet the dog.
Me: Ok
V: But you need to ask.
I ask A: Can I pet your dog?
A: I rather you not.
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Recently
A to me when I am getting frustrated: Do you love me?
Me: Yes.
A: If you love me you should be happy. Are you happy?
Me to A: Soon it is (baby) M's birthday! She is turning one.
A: Do you mean two?
V to baby M in the car (over and over again): My feet are big your feet are little.
V to me when I go out at night: When you leave, stay!
V to me: If you do not listen, booboos will hurt.
V to anyone when he wants more time for something: Let me see your watch. two more minutes.
Me: Yes.
A: If you love me you should be happy. Are you happy?
Me to A: Soon it is (baby) M's birthday! She is turning one.
A: Do you mean two?
V to baby M in the car (over and over again): My feet are big your feet are little.
V to me when I go out at night: When you leave, stay!
V to me: If you do not listen, booboos will hurt.
V to anyone when he wants more time for something: Let me see your watch. two more minutes.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Back Banter
Me to M this am: Get up- last day of school!
M: No, I have 13 more years!
Abuela to V: Can I give you a kiss?
V: No.
Abuela: Can I give A a kiss?
V: No. You are not in this family and this is not your house.
A: This is not your house but you are in the family.
V to A: You are fivving (fibbing).
A: Kids do not say fivving. Only grown ups.
V when he wants more (unreasonably) of something: My stomach is growling for it mamá.
M after I drove us to camping: Mamá, if I closed my eyes I would have thought papi was driving except for the part when you almost crashed.
M: No, I have 13 more years!
Abuela to V: Can I give you a kiss?
V: No.
Abuela: Can I give A a kiss?
V: No. You are not in this family and this is not your house.
A: This is not your house but you are in the family.
V to A: You are fivving (fibbing).
A: Kids do not say fivving. Only grown ups.
V when he wants more (unreasonably) of something: My stomach is growling for it mamá.
M after I drove us to camping: Mamá, if I closed my eyes I would have thought papi was driving except for the part when you almost crashed.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Today!
We are off to camp! It might be great and it might be terrible, but I am sure it will be memorable. You should see the volume of gear that we have for our under 24 hour trip. We have a brand new 6 person tent. Sleeping bags, rain gear, half our kitchen (F's favorite part is cooking out). I really hope it does not rain.
Now for an update on our lives....Recent happenings include A getting the worst haircut ever (think feathered, layered, mullet from late 70s/early 80s), J getting his yellow belt in karate (hiya!) and playing a great concert Thursday night.
AleVit pumped for camping. Someone mentioned bears and they are slightly petrified at the prospect ("papi has a button to scare the bears right?).
No news on the home front. Cannot find one we like and no takers for ours. The search continues.
Last week I completed the Aids Walk with DB and it was great! My first one was 25 years earlier!! and I raised over $1300 (I calculate at least 25K over my walking career).
Have a great long weekend. Over and out!
Now for an update on our lives....Recent happenings include A getting the worst haircut ever (think feathered, layered, mullet from late 70s/early 80s), J getting his yellow belt in karate (hiya!) and playing a great concert Thursday night.
AleVit pumped for camping. Someone mentioned bears and they are slightly petrified at the prospect ("papi has a button to scare the bears right?).
No news on the home front. Cannot find one we like and no takers for ours. The search continues.
Last week I completed the Aids Walk with DB and it was great! My first one was 25 years earlier!! and I raised over $1300 (I calculate at least 25K over my walking career).
Have a great long weekend. Over and out!
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Get It While It's Hot!
M to me last night after I told her how lovely her behavior was: I am going to persuade J and A and V to behave as well so even though it seems impossible to believe, you could have some time to yourself.
M: I think females gain weight more easily than males. We have to make an effort to not be chubby (wish this were not true!)
V: I miss mayor Giorgio (i think he meant nonno)
V looking at a woman with lipstick: She has nail polish on her mouth!
V to J in the shower (their new brotherly activity): My penis is bigger than yours. And bigger than papi's.
V to F: I have good news and bad news.
F: What is the bad news.
V: It is the good news.
F: Yes?
V: My penis is bigger than yours.
V to me as I kissed his tush: You know there is poop in there!
J to F: Can you cut my eyelashes? They are too long.
J when asked which was his favorite stuffed animal: Pinguino. But I use the bear to dry my tears :(
V leaving Mannes: This is my favorite place!
V on subway platform: I want to go uptown!
Me: We are going downtown:
V: I love uptown! It is the best.
A to me: You have dark brown skin and I have dark brown skin.
Me: What about papi?
A: Light.
Me: J?
A: Light.
Me: M?
A: Light.
Me: V?
A: Light?
V: So just the two of us have dark skin?
A: No, also R (a black/Indian classmate).
M: I think females gain weight more easily than males. We have to make an effort to not be chubby (wish this were not true!)
V: I miss mayor Giorgio (i think he meant nonno)
V looking at a woman with lipstick: She has nail polish on her mouth!
V to J in the shower (their new brotherly activity): My penis is bigger than yours. And bigger than papi's.
V to F: I have good news and bad news.
F: What is the bad news.
V: It is the good news.
F: Yes?
V: My penis is bigger than yours.
V to me as I kissed his tush: You know there is poop in there!
J to F: Can you cut my eyelashes? They are too long.
J when asked which was his favorite stuffed animal: Pinguino. But I use the bear to dry my tears :(
V leaving Mannes: This is my favorite place!
V on subway platform: I want to go uptown!
Me: We are going downtown:
V: I love uptown! It is the best.
A to me: You have dark brown skin and I have dark brown skin.
Me: What about papi?
A: Light.
Me: J?
A: Light.
Me: M?
A: Light.
Me: V?
A: Light?
V: So just the two of us have dark skin?
A: No, also R (a black/Indian classmate).
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Late But Sweet
This is what I got on Mother's Day from J:
Dear mama,
I love you because you made me! You are speashle because you are the best at being a Mom. Happy Mothers Day, Love (the v is a heart), J
Dear mama,
I love you because you made me! You are speashle because you are the best at being a Mom. Happy Mothers Day, Love (the v is a heart), J
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Back Banter
J: I do not even know what the F word means.
Me: Do not worry about it.
J: I do not know what any of the words mean; like nerd, and freak
V, remembering tío G's fabulous fart trick: I am going to pull G's finger!
J to me: I am going to take a shower so fast that before you can say "dictionary" I will be done.
M to J who was taunting V with a toy: You are ruining his childhood!
J: I want to be a superhero. You know, like really talented. Like Godzilla.
Me: Is this for Halloween or real life?
J: (pause). Halloween. For real life I want to be in a rock band and a scientist.
A as we rushed home to the bathroom: If you press my belly too hard I will poop in the street.
V to A: I will buy you a scooter.
A: All by yourself?
M: I hope my kids are not as rude as I am. They will get it from me. That is not fair to you.
M: I just figured out that I am not a morning person.
M: I am tomboy.
Me: Really? But you love make up.
M: Tomboys need to be attractive too. Just not girlie.
V (or A?) to me: If you do not listen to your boo boo, it will hurt.
Me to J after karate test: Why were you nervous?
J: I could lose the test. I had a 50/50 chance.
Me: Do not worry about it.
J: I do not know what any of the words mean; like nerd, and freak
V, remembering tío G's fabulous fart trick: I am going to pull G's finger!
J to me: I am going to take a shower so fast that before you can say "dictionary" I will be done.
M to J who was taunting V with a toy: You are ruining his childhood!
J: I want to be a superhero. You know, like really talented. Like Godzilla.
Me: Is this for Halloween or real life?
J: (pause). Halloween. For real life I want to be in a rock band and a scientist.
A as we rushed home to the bathroom: If you press my belly too hard I will poop in the street.
V to A: I will buy you a scooter.
A: All by yourself?
M: I hope my kids are not as rude as I am. They will get it from me. That is not fair to you.
M: I just figured out that I am not a morning person.
M: I am tomboy.
Me: Really? But you love make up.
M: Tomboys need to be attractive too. Just not girlie.
V (or A?) to me: If you do not listen to your boo boo, it will hurt.
Me to J after karate test: Why were you nervous?
J: I could lose the test. I had a 50/50 chance.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
HAPPY 4-0 Tía D!!!
Thank you for a fun night and for 34 years of unconditional friendship. I cannot wait to share this next decade with you. I love you very very much!
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Chatter
M to A: Stop trying to be cool.
A: I am not trying to be cool. I am trying to be awesome!
M when she saw me dressed up last night (hair down, black dress, some lipstick): You look beautiful mamá.
V: You look like a witch!
J: I am having a sleepover with (tío) G on June 27! I am going to put it in my calendar. But what if I get confused the year after?
Me: Well, the days of the week fall on different days on different years.
J: June 27. I am going to ask him to make it a tradition!
A, to me, several times a day since I had surgery: Remember mamá- ZERO uppies.
A: I am not trying to be cool. I am trying to be awesome!
M when she saw me dressed up last night (hair down, black dress, some lipstick): You look beautiful mamá.
V: You look like a witch!
J: I am having a sleepover with (tío) G on June 27! I am going to put it in my calendar. But what if I get confused the year after?
Me: Well, the days of the week fall on different days on different years.
J: June 27. I am going to ask him to make it a tradition!
A, to me, several times a day since I had surgery: Remember mamá- ZERO uppies.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Tidbits
A: Every princess needs high heels.
A's special terms:
ballallay (ballet)
dentist in your mouth (retainer)
alligator (elevator)
sushi (smoothie)
dekilat (delicate)
blond (wand)
J, after F told him that he did not think they needed to kiss on the lips ("boys do not kiss on the lips"): Yes they do. Sons and fathers do and so do gay husbands.
A's special terms:
ballallay (ballet)
dentist in your mouth (retainer)
alligator (elevator)
sushi (smoothie)
dekilat (delicate)
blond (wand)
J, after F told him that he did not think they needed to kiss on the lips ("boys do not kiss on the lips"): Yes they do. Sons and fathers do and so do gay husbands.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Comments
M to me: Thank you for being generous. I should be in bed now. If you were the horrible mother that I describe you as, I would be in bed.
A while dancing: I have lots of moves!
V, every time he sense me getting irritated/flustered: Mamá, are you happy? Más o menos happy? Do you love me?
M after meeting some adopted African children: Mamá, I am not saying you did a bad thing, but how come we have not adopted any children? I would love a brother or sister from Africa. I would love him extra.
J: Do you start practicing cutting kid nails when you are pregnant? How do you learn to do it?
A while dancing: I have lots of moves!
V, every time he sense me getting irritated/flustered: Mamá, are you happy? Más o menos happy? Do you love me?
M after meeting some adopted African children: Mamá, I am not saying you did a bad thing, but how come we have not adopted any children? I would love a brother or sister from Africa. I would love him extra.
J: Do you start practicing cutting kid nails when you are pregnant? How do you learn to do it?
Monday, March 31, 2014
Funny Guys
Me to J when I saw him after 9 days!: I missed you so much!
J: I almost forgot about you.
Me to A: You are going to have a time out.
A: A time out? (laughing uncontrollably) Holy guacamole!
V to our new found friend/cousin when he broke out in Spanish: Amiga, siéntate aquí. Ya está.
V upon returning to the nursing home where he had freaked out the day before: Is she still viejita?
Me: Yes
V, screaming desperately: No! Not viejita!
J: Why is it "J walking?" It should be C walking for criminal walking!
A after a 10 hour flight: Are we at A (her bff)'s house?
A on the flight back: A is best for me!
A after wetting her underwear: I peed. Don't be feerious mamá.
V when he noticed that I was walking on the outside to protect him: Are you protectoring me?
A to me in a taxi in Bs As: Princesses sit in prince trucks, not in cabs.
A when she saw that cabs were yellow on top but mostly black in Bs As: Why are the taxis all dirty?
A on mosque domes: They look like the circus.
J: I almost forgot about you.
Me to A: You are going to have a time out.
A: A time out? (laughing uncontrollably) Holy guacamole!
V to our new found friend/cousin when he broke out in Spanish: Amiga, siéntate aquí. Ya está.
V upon returning to the nursing home where he had freaked out the day before: Is she still viejita?
Me: Yes
V, screaming desperately: No! Not viejita!
J: Why is it "J walking?" It should be C walking for criminal walking!
A after a 10 hour flight: Are we at A (her bff)'s house?
A on the flight back: A is best for me!
A after wetting her underwear: I peed. Don't be feerious mamá.
V when he noticed that I was walking on the outside to protect him: Are you protectoring me?
A to me in a taxi in Bs As: Princesses sit in prince trucks, not in cabs.
A when she saw that cabs were yellow on top but mostly black in Bs As: Why are the taxis all dirty?
A on mosque domes: They look like the circus.
March 31
And it was snowing/raining this morning. Spring, where are you? I have been remiss about posting and there is not way to synthesize the last two weeks now but...
we are back in NYC after our multi-destination escapade. MoJo had a blast and did not think twice about not seeing us for a 9 days (ouch). AleVit got to be "only children" and to feast in Argentina (yes, veganism was abandoned) while yours truly ate everything in site. As usual, seeing family and friends sucked all the time away so that I did not stroll a single street, go to a museum, buy anything or have any true down time. There is something truly special, sad, and nostalgic about going to Argentina. I belong there and I do not. I am sad that I will never live there, yet I could not. I have close friends and my whole extended (ironically small given the size of our nuclear one) family there. We had a lovely host family and it was great to have my boyfriend come down to meet us. He sure is good with the kids. I fell in love with my cousin's daughter, the most enthusiastic child, and therefore person, that I have ever met. I grappled with death and the loss of dignity that comes to all as the end approaches. I reveled in my fatty bombatty chatting in español with his funny accent and expressions. The last leg of the trip was to Miami, where we encountered the duo formerly known as MoJo. This new one, is tan, cool, has friends in the neighborhood, and sails! Food and family were fabulous as always in FLA- thank you for hosting the big monkeys and then all of us!! My only regret is being such a clutz that I re-broke my pinky toe (and fucked up part of my foot) so that I am now walking around in pain, like a gimp. Back to school was decent enough today. We have just over 2 months left, so it is time to kick it into high gear. Thank you spring break. Where are you spring?
we are back in NYC after our multi-destination escapade. MoJo had a blast and did not think twice about not seeing us for a 9 days (ouch). AleVit got to be "only children" and to feast in Argentina (yes, veganism was abandoned) while yours truly ate everything in site. As usual, seeing family and friends sucked all the time away so that I did not stroll a single street, go to a museum, buy anything or have any true down time. There is something truly special, sad, and nostalgic about going to Argentina. I belong there and I do not. I am sad that I will never live there, yet I could not. I have close friends and my whole extended (ironically small given the size of our nuclear one) family there. We had a lovely host family and it was great to have my boyfriend come down to meet us. He sure is good with the kids. I fell in love with my cousin's daughter, the most enthusiastic child, and therefore person, that I have ever met. I grappled with death and the loss of dignity that comes to all as the end approaches. I reveled in my fatty bombatty chatting in español with his funny accent and expressions. The last leg of the trip was to Miami, where we encountered the duo formerly known as MoJo. This new one, is tan, cool, has friends in the neighborhood, and sails! Food and family were fabulous as always in FLA- thank you for hosting the big monkeys and then all of us!! My only regret is being such a clutz that I re-broke my pinky toe (and fucked up part of my foot) so that I am now walking around in pain, like a gimp. Back to school was decent enough today. We have just over 2 months left, so it is time to kick it into high gear. Thank you spring break. Where are you spring?
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