And Now....

almost July.
oops.
MoJo has been dropped off in VT and A, V and I continue to go to St. H every day. 3 more weeks.
It is berry hot and we are off to Sesame today after we (gulp) beat France.

F is a non-stop talking, eating, moving machine. He is funny and naughty and bossy. Surprise!

F, as I carried him out of the car in the rain: Está lloviendo, rápido. My coatrain!

V- Has anyone in our family been in a bar fight?

V, after his teacher told him to wait for his friend's answer before changing the topic: I have short-term memory loss.

A- I don't want to grow up!

V- I love unusual days.

V- If you have one baby in Florida and one in Buenos Aires, are they still siblings?

A- I only eat bacon on special occasions because I love pigs.

V or A? thought cow poop was called "menorah"

V- I am trying to behave, but you are overreacting a little bit.

Me after the 3-0 loss to Croatia- I am so embarassed and sad that we lost.
V- You are not walking around wearing a Messi shirt.


older ones I found:

J- Thank you for working so hard for us.

A- Yeah, when I am older I am going to pay you back with a nice big house.

A, when I tried to get her to give away a black sequined dress-Can I keep it for a special occasion?
Me- Like what?
A- A funeral. I have a wedding dress and a funeral dress.

And Now....

almost July.
oops.
MoJo has been dropped off in VT and A, V and I continue to go to St. H every day. 3 more weeks.
It is berry hot and we are off to Sesame today after we (gulp) beat France.

F is a non-stop talking, eating, moving machine. He is funny and naughty and bossy. Surprise!

F, as I carried him out of the car in the rain: Está lloviendo, rápido. My coatrain!

V- Has anyone in our family been in a bar fight?

V, after his teacher told him to wait for his friend's answer before changing the topic: I have short-term memory loss.

A- I don't want to grow up!

V- I love unusual days.

V- If you have one baby in Florida and one in Buenos Aires, are they still siblings?

A- I only eat bacon on special occasions because I love pigs.

V or A? thought cow poop was called "menorah"

V- I am trying to behave, but you are overreacting a little bit.

Me after the 3-0 loss to Croatia- I am so embarassed and sad that we lost.
V- You are not walking around wearing a Messi shirt.


older ones I found:

J- Thank you for working so hard for us.

A- Yeah, when I am older I am going to pay you back with a nice big house.

Fefe CAMPEON

Our big ball of love is 2! He will tell you "dos" himself. He held it together quite well on his bday, even if he was clearly saturated by the end as this classic photo indicates. . He loved sitting at the head of the table for his bday snack at BT and emulated Cookie Monster to amuse his friends mini muffin after mini muffin. He got offended at the doctor when his blood was drawn and demanded that I remove the bandaid "quita esto, mamá beso." He was no big fan of the shot in his arm either. Most of all though, F is a happy go lucky kid. He is as comfortable in Spanish as he is in Italian and English (which he speaks with a Hispanic accent) and he loves his siblings fiercely. F is bossy (surprise!) and can be naughty too. He loves to read books and gets obsessed with 2-3 books at a time. We love you gordito and could not have asked for a more affectionate and easy fifth. No more growing!!

Did Trump do THAT?

V: Is he trying to breast milk you?
Me: No, he is not nursing. But when he was a baby, he did, just like you.
V: Mamá, do not curse my legendary.

V to A: Have you ever been to cliché?

V to me: Do you know any of papi's secrets?

A: I don't like this new version of the Sesame Street song. Did Trump do that?

A & V Antics

V: Is it racist to say that you want to be black?
Me: No.
V: Okay, I want to be black.
Me: Why?
V: So I can be cool!

A: Some people think F is a regular baby and can't talk but he can talk just in a different way without making full sentences and he has a baby accent.

V: I will never have an occasion with a bully because I will kick him in the nuts.
A: I will slap her in the boobs.

Me to V: You are acting like a starts with a B and ends with a T.
V: Butt?

V when I wouldn't buy him some crap at CVS: Buying that was my dream and you crushed it.

A when I was trying to take a pic of her dolled up: You are trying to make me a big deal and I don't like that. I never did and I never will.

A: Can I change to be fashionable since M's friend is coming over?

V: Does anyone in this family wear a wig?

VVVVVVV

V: A, take away that marker from F! You are such a bad parenter!

V to Me: When you are a nurse can you be my nurse?

When the month slips away.....

And you do not post about your first boy turning 11 (yippee) or your niece being born (meeting you in a few hours!) or the tidal wave that is your life. I alternate between feeling victorious and efficient and flailing and swamped. We are now officially on "spring break" which simply means that 4 out of 5 kids have barely anything to do every day while I am still trying to keep up with school work (paper, quiz, and homework all due in the next week), housework (will the laundry ever be put away? will the fridge ever be full?), sister work (mail packages, keep brother alive), alum work (finally finished 1000 emails for 25th year reunion), volunteer work (not doing so hot on getting donations for the auction), tutor work (finally picking up- financial sigh of relief) and most importantly human work. Oh right, I am a person and should do more than just allow myself to read the NYT a day late on the train as a daily treat. Maybe I should exercise, or shower? The most important part of my human work is the following: finding a way to be a partner and a mother and a person without putting the me at the very bottom. There is nothing better than caring for my family but it is easy to lose myself. I take the outings to CUNY as a legitimate vacation. I may be ridiculous, but I love my 20 something-year-old classmates and my not so challenging classes. Community college is probably all my out of shape mind can handle right now. I enjoy the camaraderie. I like that when I get there I am not Ms. Epstein, or the overpriced tutor, or mamá mamá mamá!, but just a white-haired nerdy woman in the class. I am thankful to my partner who affords me this luxury of fading two evenings a week and other times to just study. What will I do with all of these classes? Can I get into the masters program? Even if I could, could we afford for me not to work? Could I be a full-time student and tutor to help pay bills? Hmm, maybe not while sending 5 kids to private school, fancy daycare, piano, swimming, summer camp and all that jazz. The perennial question is, what do we give up? Where should we move? When I think of what that would entail, especially the losing L part, I get anxious and decide to stick to the madness I know. This life I am leading may be insane to some, but it is all that I know and I am grateful for it. Stay tuned for what I hope will be more regular quotations from the comedy troupe.

Since I am doing an epically poor job documenting little F, I will just say that he is a full-fledged toddler. He talks non-stop, in all three languages. He fights, is funny, naughty, and that you can expect from one of our tribe. He loves his siblings and V and he have a ferociously adorable bond. He gets time outs for throwing food and hitting me but also knows when to come hug and kiss someone. He is a sweet sweet boy, a good friend at school and an obsessive Elmo/Pimpa fan. That's all for now folks.

Latest V

On the Olympics: Yeah, they are good. At the end, she puts her skate in his nuts!

On the hotel: They have the Holly bible here.

Me: You are cheating (at Candyland).
V: I'm not that smart.

V to J: Mamá does not owe you anything but love.

On tutors: If they are specialists, shouldn't they earn a "Dr" in their name?

¡7!

A week ago my double trouble turned 7. I am a bit late, kind of a theme (I am always reading old newspapers as well). It is not official that they are not little. We had a family party with limited attendance, an all-girl party on Friday with 14 guests (plus my 5) and then took 14 boys to a movie and lunch on Saturday. I am so proud of these two first grade monkeys. They are kind and thoughtful hooligans. I love you AleVit. I started this blog when you were in utero when I couldn't imagine how fun you would be.

I leave you with a V thought: Mamá, why does Pepsi always have those colors?
Me: It is the brand, they want you to see the colors and think of Pepsi. What do those colors make you think of? Which flag?
V: The French flag?

Yummy Aromas

J when I told him to find the piece of ceiling that he threw out: Nothing like digging in the trash before breakfast.

V: Something unfair happens every second.

A: Papi reminds me of the beach.
V: Mami reminds of daisies.

When I said a cheese had a bad aftertaste, A added: It tastes like a zoo!

A (I think): When J turns 11, we can stand next to him and take a 7-11 picture!

F is Talkin'

Every day brings new words in any language. Here are some of my favorites...

From his rear facing carseat when we are in traffic: Vai! Ma dai! Vai!

Yesterday as his father tried to nap mid-afternoon as he tugged on him: Siéntate!

I now make him walk up and down the building steps (he crawls up the apartment ones) and he counts: uno, dos, tres, cuatro

F also has an incredible parroting ability so he accurately said: gnocchi and funghi yesterday when I asked him (after telling him) what he was eating.

He also likes to shout "mío!" about whatever he is eating.



A came up with a good name for my anatomy flashcards: Flesh cards:)

End O' January

Me-That's gross (milk).
J-Why?
M-Because it came from a cow's boob
V- Well you came from your mother's Pah-gina

V- Does the F word mean bad Jesus?

V- Why do people buy Camrys for 3K? They are so lame

J on his (not beloved) teacher- When he is trying to be funny he laughs at his own jokes. It's depressing.

After I saw V doing some fake praying after which he asked me for something and I said no- G-d doesn't even work!

Me to F- ¿Dónde está V?
F- In da bus.

V- I am going to get surgery on my face- I do not like it.

V- Why do all black people act cool?

V- Why hasn't Trump gotten fired?

V- If numbers never end, then they are still inventing them!

V- The nurse told me to goggle with salt water.

V- Who is the most famous gluer?
Me- I don't know.
V- Can you look it up right now?

J- If I have a disease I will just eat at 7-11 every day and get a tattoo.

M- Why do Asians wear face masks?
Me- To protect themselves from germs
M- Right, because our air is so toxic and theirs is so fresh!

V's teacher- You do not need to push.
V- Unless you are in Times Square.

V- When I grow up, I am going to make F vice president.

V at Cosstco checkout- Are you spending your money wisely?

A when she saw me with nail polish- Now all of a sudden you are getting fancy.

V oh V

After we ascertained that the lethal gas smell came from V's butt: No wonder I don't make so much farts.

? to V: Be quiet, you are a professional liar.
V: Exactly, I know when people lie!

V to A: You are nice.
A: Thank you.
V: Do you know what sarcasm is?

V to A while they brushed their teeth: Do you ever wonder if demi-g-ds or g-ds exist?

F, the entertainer

Taylor Swift's annoyingly catchy tune is only the latest song to enter the midget's repertoire. I thought I was hallucinating the first time I heard him clearly sing the first three words/notes (and then go on to mumble the rest). Last night, after sleeping half the day at BT, he spent almost 2 hours!! singing on and off to himself. Old McDonald, Cucu cantaba la rana, los pollitos, Taylor Swift... too funny. I listened to him inadvertently serenade me on the bbay monitor as I worked on the computer. He woke up singing "ee-i-ee-i-oh" like he had to continue the song he left off at the night before.

He is the funniest and sweetest child I could hope for. He asked me this morning as I put him in the stroller. BT? He likes to know where we are headed off to. He runs to the computer and says "ciao papi!" when we video chat with F.

I may have to eat his face!!!

Not Sure if I ever posted this one....

V sucking F's arm- I am french kissing him.
Me- What is that?
V- A really long kiss.
Me- Where did you learn that?
V- French class.
Me- No you didn't.
V- No, I didn't.

Card I Just Found (from V)

Dear mom and dad

I wish you have some peace and quiet. for the friste time in your life aslest. I hope you get what you want. if not i will give you a present. i will also behave on christmas I promess. 

A & V Thoughts....

A: I need to talk to you. I do not like the hair on my legs so I want to take most of it off.
Me: No. Humans are hairy and you do not have that much hair on your legs. Come back in six years.

V: We have too much toys. We need a bigger room. Or we can just cover the floor with toys and then you can trip and kill yourself.

V overhearing a conversation: He was a mistake?
F: No kids are mistakes.
V: Except in Twins when one twin is made of leftover crap.

¡Ya está!

F woke up and stated this several times. Too bad it was 6am as he usually sleeps until later. Regardless, he is able to express himself more and more each day. He was done sleeping so he told me "ya está." When we got to BT yesterday morning he yelled "Yay, BT" with arms in the air- A huge difference from a few months earlier when dropping him off at BT was tragic.

He sings the whole way to BT or to his friend's house every morning. He is like a DJ caught in a loop. We alternate between "cucú" and "ee-i-ee-io". When we sing the latter, his repertoire is impressive. He can make the sounds for vaca, caballo, chancho, burro, oveja, gato, pollito, perro and pato.

F plays like a madman with V- running around yelling "attack" and wrestling but he also spends lots of time cooking in his play kitchen and leafing through books.

I wish I had been more regular in chronicling his development or that I filmed him more so remember this golden era. I will try to do more. In the meantime, he is a happy and easy toddler. We cannot imagine what our lives were like before him. We are Fefe fans!

Pow Pow!

F likes to throw "pow pow" into all of his stories. Usually, the words are preceded by "torio" or "ah-ee" which makes me think he is talking about being naughty or in trouble. A few days ago, after I gave him his umpteenth time out for throwing milk on the ground, F ran to his father and looked at me and declared "mamá- pow pow." 19 months and already a hooligan!

F is singing up a storm as well. He sings "ABC" and "Old McDonald" and "Los pollitos" and "Cucú cantaba la rana" to himself all the time!

Deep Thoughts by V..

We should get some security cameras. I want to see if Santa is black or white.

Mamá how much years is first grade?

When you hit your head why do you get a bump instead of it going in?

Why is my shirt so shaky (wrinkled)?

Can I taked my driver's test when I am eight?

I wish I was a lonely (only) child...