F, The Chatter

F to me: Can I say zip it?
Me: Yes.
F to the table of bickering children: Zip it. Be quiet. Be nice.

F to me: Yo quiero comer monstruos con manteca (I want to eat monsters with butter).

F, speaking about our family: Yo no soy una familia.
Me: No, sos parte de una familia. La parte importante.
F. Importante y muy contento (very happy).

When I asked him to keep walking: Se me rompió la pierna (my leg broke).

F, The Hooligan (and V for some good measure)

When I told him to go to sleep: You fired!

When I told him the JCC was closed: ¿Por qué? Caramba!

When we saw a dead pigeon- ¿Puedo pisarlo? (Can I step on it?)

The next day, same pigeon- ¿Puedo comerlo? (Can I eat it?)

As his father read him a story where a dino ate another one: Non si fa, cazzo!


V- I will design cars or play for the Knicks or be a vet or help the poor.

V, when he realized he made a bad pokemon trade- It is sad that a ten year old took advantage of me.

V, impatient at a restaurant- Is there a sloth in the kitchen?

V, impatient at another restaurant- Is the food coming today or next year?

The Eve...

before our active real new lives begin...
Tomorrow I will be sending four kids to two new schools where I do not know a soul. It feels strange for my children's teachers to not be my colleagues and friends. F will be starting at PIH and meeting a real life hero, one of PIH's founders, Paul Farmer, this week. I am so excited. I will need to truly be disciplined to keep Federico engaged, the GRE studying going, to stay on top of my microbiology class, going to the gym etc etc. I am very nervous but excited. To be continued...

F lately..

to his father: Do you want to play or not?

to me: Mamá, yo quiero escuela con chico. Yo triste.

to me: Me gusta mi pitín.

to me: chupete no, es para bebés.

to me: Me gustan tus pies and sometimes... me gustan tus tetas.

V: Is it possible to be too smart?

V: has my life started yet?

Me: A, you leave your stuff all over the place. Pick it up!
A: Yeah, I get that a lot.

?: Rich people are going to hate us.
another ?: We are rich in children and love.

A: I have never been to Boston and I am moving there. Cuckaluku.

A: If we ever move from Boston can we move to NYC?

V: So I am missing second grade?

NEWYork to NEWton... Oy

There are too many things to express in a simple blog post but suffice it to say that we have been turned upside down and inside out as the song says. We are no longer in NY. What we thought could happen for a long time and then were sure would not happen... did. F got a fabulous job in Boston at a wonderful non-profit and we took the leap. I left my job of 19 years, the only profession I have ever known, and told the kids.. we are moving! This all happened (the telling to the doing) in under 3 weeks. It was/is intense and harder than I could have imagined both physically, emotionally, financially... you name it. We are still covered in boxes to unpack and furniture to build. I cannot sign kids up for school for another two weeks. When we told A and V (older kids were at camp) V leaned back at one point and said: "It's a lot." I think that summarizes it well. By far one of the largest losses has been L. Not sure how I will function without her, Working full time and studying and tutoring etc with her seems way easier than being unemployed, taking online classes and having to care for all of the children all of the time without another caregiver in sight. We joined the JCC to balance the decades of Episcopal school. Just kidding, we joined because they have a nice outdoor pool and are a five-minute drive away. Oh yes, while I may never have to look for parking and curse again, I will also not be able to avoid DRIVING every day to every place. There is nothing walking distance. It feels like we are on vacation,  but we cannot leave. When we left the pool today, F asked again "¿La casa nueva? No, No me gusta. Yo quiero otra casa." He seems to be having the hardest time of the three kids I have here now. I have my positive days and my not so hot moments. What I need is for this awful summer to end so we can actually start our lives here (school, work, classes). so I can try to establish some kind of routine and be able to make an informed decision about Newton. Don't think I will ever have that roll off my tongue "I'm from Newton. I live in Newton." How about "I am an Argentine New Yorker in Newton for a few years?" I have to get my always growing ass in motion and study for the GREs, write some kick-ass essays, get good recs, do well in two online classes (gulp) and get into BC. All my (aging) eggs are in that one basket. At this time next year, I will have hopefully completed their three-week program that leads into the intense year of nursing school. Help!

And Now....

almost July.
oops.
MoJo has been dropped off in VT and A, V and I continue to go to St. H every day. 3 more weeks.
It is berry hot and we are off to Sesame today after we (gulp) beat France.

F is a non-stop talking, eating, moving machine. He is funny and naughty and bossy. Surprise!

F, as I carried him out of the car in the rain: Está lloviendo, rápido. My coatrain!

V- Has anyone in our family been in a bar fight?

V, after his teacher told him to wait for his friend's answer before changing the topic: I have short-term memory loss.

A- I don't want to grow up!

V- I love unusual days.

V- If you have one baby in Florida and one in Buenos Aires, are they still siblings?

A- I only eat bacon on special occasions because I love pigs.

V or A? thought cow poop was called "menorah"

V- I am trying to behave, but you are overreacting a little bit.

Me after the 3-0 loss to Croatia- I am so embarassed and sad that we lost.
V- You are not walking around wearing a Messi shirt.


older ones I found:

J- Thank you for working so hard for us.

A- Yeah, when I am older I am going to pay you back with a nice big house.

A, when I tried to get her to give away a black sequined dress-Can I keep it for a special occasion?
Me- Like what?
A- A funeral. I have a wedding dress and a funeral dress.

And Now....

almost July.
oops.
MoJo has been dropped off in VT and A, V and I continue to go to St. H every day. 3 more weeks.
It is berry hot and we are off to Sesame today after we (gulp) beat France.

F is a non-stop talking, eating, moving machine. He is funny and naughty and bossy. Surprise!

F, as I carried him out of the car in the rain: Está lloviendo, rápido. My coatrain!

V- Has anyone in our family been in a bar fight?

V, after his teacher told him to wait for his friend's answer before changing the topic: I have short-term memory loss.

A- I don't want to grow up!

V- I love unusual days.

V- If you have one baby in Florida and one in Buenos Aires, are they still siblings?

A- I only eat bacon on special occasions because I love pigs.

V or A? thought cow poop was called "menorah"

V- I am trying to behave, but you are overreacting a little bit.

Me after the 3-0 loss to Croatia- I am so embarassed and sad that we lost.
V- You are not walking around wearing a Messi shirt.


older ones I found:

J- Thank you for working so hard for us.

A- Yeah, when I am older I am going to pay you back with a nice big house.

Fefe CAMPEON

Our big ball of love is 2! He will tell you "dos" himself. He held it together quite well on his bday, even if he was clearly saturated by the end as this classic photo indicates. . He loved sitting at the head of the table for his bday snack at BT and emulated Cookie Monster to amuse his friends mini muffin after mini muffin. He got offended at the doctor when his blood was drawn and demanded that I remove the bandaid "quita esto, mamá beso." He was no big fan of the shot in his arm either. Most of all though, F is a happy go lucky kid. He is as comfortable in Spanish as he is in Italian and English (which he speaks with a Hispanic accent) and he loves his siblings fiercely. F is bossy (surprise!) and can be naughty too. He loves to read books and gets obsessed with 2-3 books at a time. We love you gordito and could not have asked for a more affectionate and easy fifth. No more growing!!

Did Trump do THAT?

V: Is he trying to breast milk you?
Me: No, he is not nursing. But when he was a baby, he did, just like you.
V: Mamá, do not curse my legendary.

V to A: Have you ever been to cliché?

V to me: Do you know any of papi's secrets?

A: I don't like this new version of the Sesame Street song. Did Trump do that?

A & V Antics

V: Is it racist to say that you want to be black?
Me: No.
V: Okay, I want to be black.
Me: Why?
V: So I can be cool!

A: Some people think F is a regular baby and can't talk but he can talk just in a different way without making full sentences and he has a baby accent.

V: I will never have an occasion with a bully because I will kick him in the nuts.
A: I will slap her in the boobs.

Me to V: You are acting like a starts with a B and ends with a T.
V: Butt?

V when I wouldn't buy him some crap at CVS: Buying that was my dream and you crushed it.

A when I was trying to take a pic of her dolled up: You are trying to make me a big deal and I don't like that. I never did and I never will.

A: Can I change to be fashionable since M's friend is coming over?

V: Does anyone in this family wear a wig?

VVVVVVV

V: A, take away that marker from F! You are such a bad parenter!

V to Me: When you are a nurse can you be my nurse?

When the month slips away.....

And you do not post about your first boy turning 11 (yippee) or your niece being born (meeting you in a few hours!) or the tidal wave that is your life. I alternate between feeling victorious and efficient and flailing and swamped. We are now officially on "spring break" which simply means that 4 out of 5 kids have barely anything to do every day while I am still trying to keep up with school work (paper, quiz, and homework all due in the next week), housework (will the laundry ever be put away? will the fridge ever be full?), sister work (mail packages, keep brother alive), alum work (finally finished 1000 emails for 25th year reunion), volunteer work (not doing so hot on getting donations for the auction), tutor work (finally picking up- financial sigh of relief) and most importantly human work. Oh right, I am a person and should do more than just allow myself to read the NYT a day late on the train as a daily treat. Maybe I should exercise, or shower? The most important part of my human work is the following: finding a way to be a partner and a mother and a person without putting the me at the very bottom. There is nothing better than caring for my family but it is easy to lose myself. I take the outings to CUNY as a legitimate vacation. I may be ridiculous, but I love my 20 something-year-old classmates and my not so challenging classes. Community college is probably all my out of shape mind can handle right now. I enjoy the camaraderie. I like that when I get there I am not Ms. Epstein, or the overpriced tutor, or mamá mamá mamá!, but just a white-haired nerdy woman in the class. I am thankful to my partner who affords me this luxury of fading two evenings a week and other times to just study. What will I do with all of these classes? Can I get into the masters program? Even if I could, could we afford for me not to work? Could I be a full-time student and tutor to help pay bills? Hmm, maybe not while sending 5 kids to private school, fancy daycare, piano, swimming, summer camp and all that jazz. The perennial question is, what do we give up? Where should we move? When I think of what that would entail, especially the losing L part, I get anxious and decide to stick to the madness I know. This life I am leading may be insane to some, but it is all that I know and I am grateful for it. Stay tuned for what I hope will be more regular quotations from the comedy troupe.

Since I am doing an epically poor job documenting little F, I will just say that he is a full-fledged toddler. He talks non-stop, in all three languages. He fights, is funny, naughty, and that you can expect from one of our tribe. He loves his siblings and V and he have a ferociously adorable bond. He gets time outs for throwing food and hitting me but also knows when to come hug and kiss someone. He is a sweet sweet boy, a good friend at school and an obsessive Elmo/Pimpa fan. That's all for now folks.

Latest V

On the Olympics: Yeah, they are good. At the end, she puts her skate in his nuts!

On the hotel: They have the Holly bible here.

Me: You are cheating (at Candyland).
V: I'm not that smart.

V to J: Mamá does not owe you anything but love.

On tutors: If they are specialists, shouldn't they earn a "Dr" in their name?

¡7!

A week ago my double trouble turned 7. I am a bit late, kind of a theme (I am always reading old newspapers as well). It is not official that they are not little. We had a family party with limited attendance, an all-girl party on Friday with 14 guests (plus my 5) and then took 14 boys to a movie and lunch on Saturday. I am so proud of these two first grade monkeys. They are kind and thoughtful hooligans. I love you AleVit. I started this blog when you were in utero when I couldn't imagine how fun you would be.

I leave you with a V thought: Mamá, why does Pepsi always have those colors?
Me: It is the brand, they want you to see the colors and think of Pepsi. What do those colors make you think of? Which flag?
V: The French flag?

Yummy Aromas

J when I told him to find the piece of ceiling that he threw out: Nothing like digging in the trash before breakfast.

V: Something unfair happens every second.

A: Papi reminds me of the beach.
V: Mami reminds of daisies.

When I said a cheese had a bad aftertaste, A added: It tastes like a zoo!

A (I think): When J turns 11, we can stand next to him and take a 7-11 picture!

F is Talkin'

Every day brings new words in any language. Here are some of my favorites...

From his rear facing carseat when we are in traffic: Vai! Ma dai! Vai!

Yesterday as his father tried to nap mid-afternoon as he tugged on him: Siéntate!

I now make him walk up and down the building steps (he crawls up the apartment ones) and he counts: uno, dos, tres, cuatro

F also has an incredible parroting ability so he accurately said: gnocchi and funghi yesterday when I asked him (after telling him) what he was eating.

He also likes to shout "mío!" about whatever he is eating.



A came up with a good name for my anatomy flashcards: Flesh cards:)

End O' January

Me-That's gross (milk).
J-Why?
M-Because it came from a cow's boob
V- Well you came from your mother's Pah-gina

V- Does the F word mean bad Jesus?

V- Why do people buy Camrys for 3K? They are so lame

J on his (not beloved) teacher- When he is trying to be funny he laughs at his own jokes. It's depressing.

After I saw V doing some fake praying after which he asked me for something and I said no- G-d doesn't even work!

Me to F- ¿Dónde está V?
F- In da bus.

V- I am going to get surgery on my face- I do not like it.

V- Why do all black people act cool?

V- Why hasn't Trump gotten fired?

V- If numbers never end, then they are still inventing them!

V- The nurse told me to goggle with salt water.

V- Who is the most famous gluer?
Me- I don't know.
V- Can you look it up right now?

J- If I have a disease I will just eat at 7-11 every day and get a tattoo.

M- Why do Asians wear face masks?
Me- To protect themselves from germs
M- Right, because our air is so toxic and theirs is so fresh!

V's teacher- You do not need to push.
V- Unless you are in Times Square.

V- When I grow up, I am going to make F vice president.

V at Cosstco checkout- Are you spending your money wisely?

A when she saw me with nail polish- Now all of a sudden you are getting fancy.

V oh V

After we ascertained that the lethal gas smell came from V's butt: No wonder I don't make so much farts.

? to V: Be quiet, you are a professional liar.
V: Exactly, I know when people lie!

V to A: You are nice.
A: Thank you.
V: Do you know what sarcasm is?

V to A while they brushed their teeth: Do you ever wonder if demi-g-ds or g-ds exist?

F, the entertainer

Taylor Swift's annoyingly catchy tune is only the latest song to enter the midget's repertoire. I thought I was hallucinating the first time I heard him clearly sing the first three words/notes (and then go on to mumble the rest). Last night, after sleeping half the day at BT, he spent almost 2 hours!! singing on and off to himself. Old McDonald, Cucu cantaba la rana, los pollitos, Taylor Swift... too funny. I listened to him inadvertently serenade me on the bbay monitor as I worked on the computer. He woke up singing "ee-i-ee-i-oh" like he had to continue the song he left off at the night before.

He is the funniest and sweetest child I could hope for. He asked me this morning as I put him in the stroller. BT? He likes to know where we are headed off to. He runs to the computer and says "ciao papi!" when we video chat with F.

I may have to eat his face!!!

Not Sure if I ever posted this one....

V sucking F's arm- I am french kissing him.
Me- What is that?
V- A really long kiss.
Me- Where did you learn that?
V- French class.
Me- No you didn't.
V- No, I didn't.