Toddlers on Trikes

I was going to write "babies on bikes" but then realizes the inaccuracies. We got hand me down plastic tricycles this weekend (because we are always searching for clunky and bulky things to fill up our extra space) from friends with five year old twins. They also brought some clothing, amongst which were two fleece hats with ear flaps that are kind of small for my (very) large headed guys. AleVit associates these hats with the trikes and wear them like helmets. One cannot go without the other. They are hilarious on their bikes, crashing into each other and actually learning how to pedal. When I suggested we show the bikes to our 4 year old neighbor whom they are obsessed with A threw the vehicle over her shoulder to run out the door. I wish I had a picture of them in onesies, barefoot with fleece hats banging on the door. "Simey (not his name but their version of it)! Where ahr you? We have bikes!" He never opened the door but A kept banging her fist. I was standing in our doorway listening to M practice piano. I turned my head into our apartment and when I looked back out V had called the elevator and was pushing his trike in. WTF? Always ready to escape. I look forward to warmer weather when they can really ride in the park!

Catching Up on Funny Lines

The other night when J was crying (weird for him) in bed he said it was for three bad things: He had no water to drink, got a time out in karate, and felt lonely because M was in my bed (everything is relative- being with only two other people in the bedroom is now lonely).

F makes AleVit say "te quiero mucho" to each other when they go to bed. After the usual V; Te quiero mucho A and then a: Te quiero mucho V, he added: Te quiero más!

When I told J we were going to MIA for spring break he said: I want a sleepover with abuelo R. I assured him he was getting that and he said: No, without you. Go on your own vacation.

M on why she thinks being a pediatrician is better than an ER doctor for her: I do not want to be under that pressure. If someone dies it is my fault.

M wants to be a pediatrician and asked: How many years is medical school? How many years do I have to be a resident. Tell me so I can make up my mind about if I can do it. Being a pediatrician
 a better opportunity to save the lives of children who have a longer life than adults.

J to M; I have a new crush.
M: Ooh. Tell me. In your class?
M: Older?
J: No.
M; In JK (junior kindergarten)?
J: No.
Me; In nursery?
J: No, BT.
M: Who?
J: A and V. But they never let me smush enough with them and I love them so much (it is true they are not big smushers).

M to tía D at dinner: It is not easy getting married and having kids.
tía D: Tell me about it.
M: Families go on forever.
Abuela S (always on hand with a random comment): It is not easy. Look at your mother. She had four kids. That is too many.
Me (in front of MoJo): Who should I get rid of?

As I Kissed J Goodnight He Said:

I will never be too cool for you (what a relief!)

AleVit Antics

These two are crazy. They went to their first birthday party today and had cake at 5pm. That was such a horrible idea. A is currently bouncing off the sides of her (sort of still broken) crib. Before that they were doing knee drops and body slamming in the bathtub and laughing maniacally. When F said OMG, V chimed in "mamma mia!" Last night they did a new routine at bedtime. V can push their beds around (hers in on wheels) and he scooted over to the dresser. When I walked in, he had most of its contents in the crib and A was wearing several pairs of M's underwear on her head. They were cracking up, and it was pretty funny. Another new V move is rolling himself up like a burrito in the pack and play. The "mattress" is a thin crappy mat with velcro on the bottom. He likes to pull both sides up or just move the whole thing over and lay on the metal bars. Hope they go to sleep soooon.

I Made It!

I have almost survived this whole week as a single mother of 4, living in an apt with 1000 drafts in sub zero weather, with daily evening events, a broken crib that A likes to break more "cama rota" to get my attention, and lots of mocos. Sure, I went to bed at 8:45pm with 3 out of 4 kids still awake. Okay, I took a shower this morning at 6am and washed my hair (could not remember when the time before was?!) while AleVit kept m company and destroyed the bathroom (V went to BT smelling like Axe, his favorite spray). Yes, I have a pencil holding my hair up because I forgot a hair tie and had my hair down so it would dry. My pants have what look like dried egg yolk on them and my jacket is covered in A's snot. But, life is good yo. I have NOTHING to do after school (besides get food and movies at the library) because Street Squash kids have Regents exams. I look forward to tomorrow am when F can lend a hand (he did do some virtual babysitting this am on Skype). TGIF!

The Pianist

I am so proud of little J! He looked very funny in his blazer and tie with his feet swinging in the air as he played on an amazing grand piano on stage. He had a weird piano class before the concert- he was behaving like he was on drugs- hyper, mocking the teacher sort of. Very erratic. She told me to think nothing of it and to not talk about it with him. We went to Celeste for dinner with tía D and M and sure enough, he returned to the concert hall and played like a champ. The pieces some of the older (but not that much older) kids played blew me away. I kind of felt like I was in one of those documentaries about extraordinary kids and I wondered how much their parents make them practice to be that good. I am very happy this day is over. It was so cold I thought we would freeze. I loaded L into a taxi with AleVit this am (not the easiest maneuver- I felt bad that she would have to unload on her own and redo it at the end of the day). Tutored post school and met L back at Mannes (we are a good team- I am lost without her) and then attended the concert post dinner. MoJo looked like they were falling asleep at the end of the concert. Hurray to my mini Mozart.

AleVit/MoJo Update

These kids are up to so many new things every week that it is hard to remember what I wrote about and what escapes me.  The member of my quartet who is most rapidly changing right now is A. She is talking up a storm and recognizing letters. L taught her a few letters in a book and she can identify a few of them and say whose name they stand for. I was semi-impressed but wondered if she could recognize these letters (A, V, M, P) in another context. To my surprise, she can! It is quite astonishing. I taught her "C for Carne (what they call tía C) and E for "Lee-I." When I showed L that she could recognize a C, A asked me to write an E as well. What an interesting twist in their development. A, the less vocal gal, is an early letter lady! A's other new thing is pockets. She always wants her hands in her pockets. Today she put her jacket on so she could have her hands in her pockets as she walked around the apartment in her onesie. "Hands in my pockets" is her current tagline.
V continues to boss everyone around and make constant announcements. We were at lunch yesterday and he said "I have to go to the bathroom" over and over again with attitude. He did not like my advise to just go in his diaper:)
J has had some attitude adjustment needs. He asked me how to spell "boo-yah!"- which he wanted to write on his homework. He also said "in your face" to me. When he finally got how disappointed I was in him he asked me to "fruitcake" it for the first time in his life. He is currently asleep in my bed. I am hosting a flurry of MoJo sleepovers this week as a special treat while F is away. When I threatened him with a consequence about something today, he quipped "You can't punish me. I'm the chosen one." As we froze our butts off walking M to piano class, J, on his scooter, said: "We could tie a rope from my scooter to the stroller so I could pull them instead of you pushing."
When I asled M if A was sleeping in the stroller today, she said: "She looks like she just had surgery."
The highlight of the weekend was my first solo outing with AleVit sans stroller. We walked to Central Park and they loved it. A thinks that she does not have to old my hand or let me hold her hood or let me carry her across the street, so we had a few confrontations about that. While in the park, she asked V to hold her hand. If only I had caught that on film. Right after they walked hand in hand for a few seconds they stopped and started spontaneously hugging each other cheek to cheek. Too damn cute. That I did capture on film. Off to watch more Oscar nominated films and to bed. This week is going to be a full one.

Better News!

I am going to be an AUNT! Tía more likely. Very exciting. You probably all know this already, but maybe not. It anguishes me to be so far away from Philadelphia and realistically unable (no time no money no car no driving skills too many kids) to go there regularly. I guess this mini Katz will know me mostly by Skype. I can read him/her a story some nights. Congratulations to the mini C & E on the way. Grow big and strong! You are going to have a lot of cousins all over you!

Sunday Wrap Up

This week has been intense. Next week looks even more intense. Too many things to write about. But here are some of the high and low lights. One current low light is me sitting by the buzzer, on the floor, waiting for Fresh Direct to buzz. Not sure why I thought the 6:30-8am slot was a good idea- my neighbors are going to kill me. My phone, my handy dandy sturdy flip phone died inexplicably on Friday. Thursday night, during my crib saga, the screen was all wonky, off center, and I tried hitting it, like one might a TV twenty years ago to jiggle the image. As you may have guessed, this did nothing. The worst part about the phone dying was that ALL of my contacts were on the card (new card new number as of merely weeks ago) so that without a screen all info was irretrievable. I bought a new phone (identical to the dead one). What a royal pain in the ass. Whose number did I have? Whose email did I lack? Who would I not remember that I needed until I did? F spent HOURS fidgeting with the phones, cables, and online tips. After much time wasted (I had already manually reentered about a third of the numbers), F was able to crack the problem. Radioshack sells my phone for $40 (yes, I know I could get an I-phone for 1 cent) and AT&T (another bunch of motherfathers, not as bad as the MTA but close) sells it up the street for $99! Incredible. Another (un)interesting incident involved my son's music school. I felt a little bit like Seinfeld when he goes to rent the car and realizes that they do not have his reservation. I applied for financial aid (labor intensive) in the fall and was denied. Before they sent me another whopping bill for the second part of the year, I emailed to see if I could apply for the spring. They never answered me. I-HATE-that. So I emailed them again. Nada. I went in person and explained my question. I was told that "all the funds had been disbursed" but that I could reapply in the spring for next year. A few days ago I got an answer to my Dec 6 email (apparently they like to use email like one would a courrier on horseback) stating that there was no financial aid for the program J is in. I asked her why the fuck they would accept my forms, entertain my question in person etc. She was unapologetic and told me it says there is no financial aid on some literature somewhere. Apparently I agreed to mortgage my house until he is older when aid becomes available. Lovely. The average person's inability to think or speak logically, to use common sense, common courtesy, is astonishing. Okay, enough of this boring crap. F leaves for Brazil for a week today. Abuela I is back to Buenos Aires today as well. This was her last Christmas here, as she cannot handle the cold weather. And this makes me sad. The end of traditions makes me sad. I also do not know when or how to go to Argentina, which leaves me with the heavy sensation that both of y grandmothers will die before I see them again. Okay okay enough doom and gloom. I am going to write another post about the bambini. This one is a downer. Over and out.

Losing Your Shit on A Thursday Evening

is never fun or a good idea. I do not even recall how I got so pissed off but I do know that while cleaning the kids's room, I struggled with the crib. I could not get the side up, or down and was very rough with it. M informed me that I had broken part of it. When I went to see the damage, I saw that three slats had come out and I stupidly thought I could pop them back in. One bad idea led to another and before you know it I had removed the whole side. Not bad I thought. Especially when I noticed that there were some nails sticking out. I was so frustrated and angry that I broke it. Could not fix it. Totally incompetent. Needed another adult. Preferably a man. Fuck it. A can sleep in a toddler bed. She sleeps on a cot at BT. Nope. She immediately began to jump and celebrate her sudden toddler bed. She climbed out incessantly. This would not work. I was hosting a BT auction meeting and I needed to put the kids to bed. I put the side of the crib back, like shit, and hoped for the best. They all went to sleep. F will have to fix the crib. I am sorry that I broke it. That I cried while I tried and failed to fix it. That this crib, that held all four of my children for the first two years of their lives, will now go to the garbage. the end of an era. I need to control my temper. And buy a new bed. Or two.

Mid Week Update

J is gearing up for his piano concert next Wednesday. I am really impressed with his hard work and concentration. His concert pieces seem too easy now. F has been away since Tuesday. He returns tomorrow night only to head out Sunday night to Brazil (lots of hookers there my mother astutely?! points out) for a week. MoJo seems under control, except for the occasional M bat-shit meltdown- usually about piano. AleVit is in rare form. V has become the hitter and the newly baptized "hall monitor"- constantly tattling and scolding. Today he yelled "cállate" (I kid not) to M as she yelled at me. I am told V was listening to "Little Red Riding Hood" at BT today and lost it and cried when the grandmother got eaten by the wolf. Pobrecito. J walks as slowly as can be and inquired this am "Do you think I have a medical problem? About why my legs move so slowly?" I am trying to watch as many Oscar flicks as possible. BT auction planning is about to kick off. Here we go again yo yo.

Monday Musings

MoJo wore moustaches all morning yesterday (she Mario, he Hulk Hogan) while we walked to and around the Met. It cracked me up to see Tina Fey, one of my idols, sporting one at the Globes last night. Did M inspire her?
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After touring the knights and armor at the Met J inquired (and then made ask a guard): Do they ever give anything away here?
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V's new thing is tattling on A. It is ridiculous. He says, in a singsongy voice "A is on top bunk" (she does climb up there even when you remove the ladder) or "A in trouble." it is very funny and annoying and inappropriate. He also threatens all of his sibling with "time outs." I tried to explain to him that he cannot give anyone a  timeout.
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M is taking ERB's (standard test) in school this week and has no chapel or homework because of it. Her comment: ERB's rock!

Recent Lines

J as we passed Dunkin Donuts: Can I have a sandwich from there?
Me: No, and it is a breakfast sandwich.
J: Can I have an evening sandwich then?
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M:You are definitely the best mom in the continent and you are 95%  sure to be the best in the world. There is no one out there that is better than you. There are two to five people out there that are the same as you.
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J to M as we walked in the apt: I call shower!
M: No I call shower!
V as he headed up the stairs: I call shower!
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M to J over dinner: Did you know that we are very lucky to have the things we have? A lot of people have no family to help them.
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M: When can I watch Hannah Montana?
Me: By the time you can watch those shows you will not care about them.
M: Yeah they just want to like capture us for ads. They are made for people like me to try to sell you stuff.
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L to A: Come el brócoli.
V to A: Come el brócoli o time out!
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J to me: When I grow up do I have to go live in another house? Can I take all of my toys?
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M: How old will I be when I go to college?
Me:18
J: Martin Luther King was 15.
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J: I need to go to Brooks Brothers to buy a bow tie for my concert (fat chance).
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M at the MOMA: Who made this one?
Me: Van Gogh
M: No, I mean this version.
Me: This is the real one. He painted it.
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M: Before you had kids how many did you want to have?
Me: Four
M: Like your mom?

To The Joy of Innocence & Credulity

Found in the recycling pile after M cleaned out her backpack:

Dear Santa, BFF
I would like anything you give me!! I think you are SO friendly & generous. LOL. Love, M
PS just to remind you we're in Vermont

Yogul!

Is A's new obsession. Preferably drinkable and from Trader Joe's. Wow, this girl inhales them. V copies her and begs for yogul (rhymes with Kabul) even though I do not think he particularly likes it. He spilled some at dinner and then took M's yogurt (not liquid), and spilled it ALL diligently all over the chair. When I scolded him, he laughed. So I took him kicking and screaming for a time out in his pack and play. He was desperately crying for the whole minute that I left him there. When I asked him "se hace o  no se hace?", he remorsefully and correctly answered "no se tira yogul." For those of you thinking that I am a witch for giving a not even two-year old a time out, let it be known that V also lovingly emptied a bucket of water from the tub, onto the bathroom floor today. He is in rebellious mode.

Breaking Up Part II

One was birth. Two was last night when we took V out of the crib so he could  try to sleep in peace. Sure they have slept apart in many places in pack and plays while we traveled but they have never been apart at home. V chose the pack and play over the crib and A went crazy when she entered the room and understood that she was not going into the pack and play with V. When F showed her that she could see him and touch him from the crib, she calmed down. I suppose it really is important for them to have space and be able to stretch. It makes me sad to see them not sleep together and to see the room look like a third world orphanage (just beds, no floor space). I guess that is part of growing up, being together less, physically. I laughed when I heard A shouting his name this morning (she says it accurately but with such a funny voice) to wake him up in the crib next door:)

Some Comments From This Week

Me, to J, at Mannes: Do you have to go to the bathroom before class?
J: Yeah, I need to caca.
Me: That is too much information.
J: Oh, yeah, this place is fancy.
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In bathroom:
Me: Are you done?
J: No, I am making some small cacas, like for a doll house man.
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J on how he would run F's 2:30pm work meeting: Good morning Fayzan! Let's all do a booty shake.
Me: What if they ask you questions?
J: Then I will punch them in the nose.
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At the MOMA, J: These pictures were done by children (they did look like that). They should be in the children's section.
J upon looking at a huge piece of paper with a small hand drawn on it and a large piece of debris on the ground in front of it: This is not famous. This is not even finished.
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J: I drew my age!
Me: 5 with three coins?
J: No, not the small coins, the big ones. 5 and three quarters!
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M at random points on two different days: People have diabetes you know! I wish they did not sell so much junk food.
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J when he found school work in the recycling: I quit St. H & H. You do not even care about my work there. I am not going.
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M about our apt hunting: You did not like any of those try outs? We are not moving to any of them?

Bang For Your Metrocard!

Check it:
Skipped taking babies to BT. Subway with J to M's bff house (she had practically moved in there- double sleepover!). M was pissed because I would not let it go triple. Take her and her friend and the other monkey to MOMA. Met tía D who has an awesome card that let us all in for free (yay!). Enjoyed some art (not all). Stay tuned for great comments from MoJo (oh what an art critic J is!) and then had lunch near there. In fact, we ate right in front of tío D's office and he joined us. Bye Bye tía D and I schlepped from Madison & 53 to 50 and 7th with the three monkeys back up to M's friend's house (use number 3 of metrocard). Here I (dumbly) opted to walk home with MoJo. Power piano and reading time. Back out (IV) to 98 and Broadway where they were dropped off at playdate (brother/sister same age as my kids).  Back to Harlem to Street Squash (V). Great session. Back down to get MoJo (VI). Back home (VII) to do showers and make dinner. Hello AleVit! Left to go to Film Forum (check out review later)- use VIII. Wow, what a depressing film. Back home (IX). Good night. Thank you MTA, I hate you, but I love you a little too.

Oggi

M: Bad grammar used to bother me, but now I use it too.
J: Bad grandma?
J: Grammar.
J: Grandma?
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J: There are three versions of us. The silly, the mean, and the perfect. The silly is here, the perfect around the corner, and the mean is in coffee drowning to her death.
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J looking at his toasted bagel with cream cheese: Delightful!
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Me to J: Do you want Z (old bt teacher) to babysit>
M: Tío G and D are cheaper.
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J: How many years until I am dead?
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M: I am reading my all manic.
Me: What?
M- points to almanac.
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J: Mock my words!
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M put gel all over J's hair before they watched Grease. I told her she would be surprised if she saw Travolta today. M: He's not aging well?
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V when I told him "no se hace" about throwing cereal all over the floor: I not funny (with hispanic accent).