Delinquent Religious Chatter & More

V: I know you are not a good mom.

J: Every mom is a good mom because G-d gave that kid that mom.
Me: Can we take a rest from the G-d stuff (fuck!!) Do you think kids whose moms do not give them food and hit them deserve those moms?
J: People make mistakes. G-d makes mistakes too.
Here comes our next evangelist. Fuck!


A to me: Don't interrupt me, I am working in the office.

A to me while I asked V to stop packing "beard" in lunch boxes: Stop annoying him!

V to me: I am warning you, I am going to pee and poop!

V when I asked for kisses: I have no more in my throat.

J to me: Mamá, I am pretending that you are Ms H (head of lower school) or Ms C (head of school) so I respect what you say.

V: BT is my school- it is a wonderful place!

RECENTLY....

When I came home from work on Friday, L had bought, at V's behest, flowers for me :) When I asked him why he got me flowers, he said: To make you happy!

V to L: You are a bad whirl (girl)
L: Why?
V: We can talk about it next morning (next morning= yesterday, tomorrow, anything but now)

V to A while they danced: Do you want me to twirl you (gets on tippy toes)?
When I asked if A could twirl him, he said: No, I am her boyfriend. I twirl her!

J: Can we please plant an apple tree in the park?
Me: I do not think we can just do that.
J: Well, that is why we need a backyard, so we can eat apples for free whenever we want.

M as she watched a woman nursing a rather large baby: When do women stop milking their children in New York City?

J when I told him it was not okay to treat me badly: Well, when I get really mad, I let my anger out on other people.

V: When it rains hard, there is brightening and thunder!

When I told A she already had dessert, an ice pop: That is a fake dessert!

A when I suggested that she wear her cowboy boots: Cowgirls are not awesome. And I am awesome. I need awesome shoes!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY M&T!!

We miss you. Fuck LA. Okay, that was rude. But we really do miss you. And I even allow dogs (which I still strongly dislike) in my humble abode. Two very hairy shedding dogs drop by and they would surely enjoy meeting Maple:) This year will be win win. Either California will be what you hope it is and you will live joyfully there- or it won't be and you can come back here. Yippee! Seriously though, we miss you much and wish you a happy happy Black Keys Concert. When are you going? XOXO

Midget Chatter

Overheard in the tub:
A: My kids are so bad, they do not listen.
V: My kids are good.

V: Do you want to do the ice bucket challenge?
A: No thank you.
V: Are you scared?

Later:

V: Mamá, why you like none of animals?

Sometimes Life Bites You in the Ass

and sometimes.... it is just your other half. I went to a fundraising meeting at BT today that included a story from the day about how A bit! her brother. I did not know it was in the butt... until I saw it. Pobrecito. He apparently cried like crazy (his feelings no doubt more injured than his culito) and A was stoic (but did not cry!) when she was reamed by the head of daycare. She refused to admit anything when I interviewed her at home. V tried to minimize the whole thing and defended her (told me it did not hurt, that she did not get in trouble etc). Ay ay ay. Better his butt than another kid's I suppose. I have never had a biter.

V The Performer

V in the bathtub holding a bucket: I am doing the bucket challenge!

Me to F: He did not finish his dinner.
V: Ladies and gentlemen, I am going to finish my dinner!

While watching tv and eating breakfast: My napkin fell. I do not have a napkin. I cannot live like this!

You are not a smart girl mamá- you are a good girl.

Lines

After I told V that we were out of fruit, A: Why is there no fruit in this house?

V: Why does papi never plant eggplant in the backyard?
Me: We do not have a backyard.
V then took me to the balcony door to show me that we did.

As we talked about possibly getting hurt climbing a jungle gym, V: My butt protects me!

After a serious talk with J about his (deteriorated) attitude and tone: I do not know how I was when I  was little. How can I change back?

J when we were talking about whether his uncles broke up with their girlfriends usually or vice versa, re tío D's latest: That was harsh (what he did to her).

M on a collage project that seemed to have to be about summer (everyone else wrote comments about their feelings on it): Life is a blessing and a curse.

V when I told him to take a time out: I am too old for a time out.
When F began to call him over to take the time out he ignored him and I inquired if he could hear his father calling him. V: I am not going over there, I know why he is calling me.

V when F asked him for a lick of his vanilla ice cream: No, it has peanut butter (it did not but V knows that F hates it). A few minutes later he was done eating and handed F the half eaten ice cream and gestured to the ice cream man: You can return this to the man now.

A as she peed in the woman's bathroom: Where is J? Me: In the boy bathroom. We are in the girl's. A: Where do women pee? Me: Here. A: What about little women? Me: Here. This is for girls and women and little women. A: Oh.

V to me when I asked him how I looked with water balloons in my shirt for augmented boobs: Like a beauty!

A, The Hall Monitor

A to me as I got dressed: I see your petetas. Can you put a brab on?

A to F: Go take a shower, you smell stinky.