J On His Play Date

When we picked his friend up there was a huge flower arrangement in her lobby.
Me- Real or fake?
J-Fake.
Me- The good thing is that they last longer, but they are plastic and that's not so nice
J- yeah. but you can add perfume to them and petals/
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J is obsessed with karate (knows nothing), snapping (he is amazing- better than most adults), and beatboxing (pretty good considering he learned from TV). He assaulted his (female) play date today trying to see if she liked any of those things. Then he demonstrated that he could do all three at the same time.
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When we got to the street with the little girl she suggested that we take a taxi.
J- Uh, no. My mom is a bus girl. If you want a taxi girl, that is my abuela.
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At the museum:
Looking at pictures of astronauts:
J-Where are their weapons?
Me- They do not have any.
J-What if they meet bad aliens?
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When his friend was asking me about the animals (all embalmed):
They did not die. Somebody killed them to put them in this museum.

When I told J to follow his friend down the pole in the playground: I am not as tough as she is.