Some Recent Lines

When J made a face about a dirty diaper:
I am never going to change poop, my wife will do it.
Me- You will never get a wife with that attitude.
F- You should make a deal if you do not want to ever do diapers. Tell your wife that you will wash all of the dishes and do the laundry if she does the diapers.
J- But I cannot wash in between the forks, it is too hard.
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J: What do man grown ups get for their birthdays?
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When I told J he could not have a huge vehicle we saw in the park, I explained that there was nowhere to fit it.
J: Buy a little garage then.
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J had an E sticker and I told him it was for Epstein.
E for Epstein? I am an Epstein. No, wait, I am a Flaviis.
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When I asked J to do some mundane task he growled at me:
You like it when I get angry
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Deep thought by J:
(When babies are sleeping): You can see their eyes but they cannot see you.
He then proceeded to try to open their eyes as they slept.
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M: It was easier in the olden days when the babies were not a thought.
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M: The babies are growing. We need a gate a the top of the stairs and we need a new house.
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J: Beds should be made out of diapers so they can poop in the bed.