Updates

Time is flying by, we are almost at October. Whoa! AleVit and MoJo are up to their usual shenanigans.  V is talking like he is a talk show host, non-stop chatter in multiple languages. He said "gracias mamá" to me (with no prompting today) which was super cute. Every time I sit V in his high chair he asks "carne?" "pasta?" It is never too early for fusilli or some chicken tenders. Even Marcel Marceau is trying to speak. After she yanked a water bottle from her other half, I said "take turns"- tell him "mi turno"- she repeated "mi too-noh" a la deaf. A's new signature move is squinting her eyes like she is a bad ass with an occasional  lower jaw jutting out with her lower teeth over her bottom lip. This little girl is fuh-nee. I am sorry to report that while helping me with laundry today (she actually does help schlep from the dryer to the bed) she opted to get into the dryer (not the first time). As I folded the laundry I heard her calling me, from far away. Yup, V closed the door. She was only in there for 45 seconds but I realize that a 19 month old in a dryer is not a great display of parenting. MoJo on the older end is doing well, uncharacteristically well behaved for the most part. M is taking sewing and loving it, reading like a maniac, and almost turning 8 (aaaahhhh!). J is into Mannes, loves karate, and is in love with his new He-Man action figure. He sleeps with him and brings him to school. He asked us recently if he could save his bicycle for his son. That is all I gots for now. Ate too much (surprise!) and I am watching too much Dexter. More soon. Over and out.

This Evening...

M to J: Who do you like better, M (his bff) or me?
J: You, 'cause you are my sister.
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J: They do not make any more good inventions anymore. I am going to invent a motorcycle that shoots candy.
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M to J: Is there anything weird about my body?
J: One thing. You walk weird, like papi said. You need shoes that support you.
M: Is that it?
J: Yes, you have pimples.
M: Those are freckles. Anything else? This is your last chance to tell me anything weird about my body.
J: That we both have outies, and we are not even identical twins.
M: We do not have outies, we have innies.
M: You missed it, I have a piece of celery in my pj pants.
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Weekend Banter

J: I want to look at myself, but not in the mirror and not in a reflection, I just want to see myself.

J: Can we empty out a room in our house to make a gym for me? We can make it neat and put in the equipment that I need to get muscles.

J to me about A running around with a box of tampons: Mamá, she has your ear wax! (ear cleaners?)

M to me about A who was irking her as she watched tv: Can you cure the crying?
Me (laughing) : Cure it?
M, pissed!: You have four children and she is your fourth. You should know how to handle a baby when it is crying.

J: I do not like G-d. I am not Jewish. But I like that song they sing in chapel with halleliula.

J: This is the worst day of my life.
M: The worst day of your life is the day you die. Or your girlfriend leaves you.
J: I will not have a girlfriend.

J after being sent to bed early for talking about shit in food (classy, I know) : This is the worst day of my life. First I had to wrestle, then I fell off my bike, then they demand me, then they send me to bed without dessert. I hate this day!

Play It Again Sam!

J had his first piano lesson yesterday. He was focused and enthusiastic. That is the good news. The bad news is that I am expected to attend all lessons and to take note so I can help him practice. I am also expected to buy a piano (the teacher talked about this for way too long at the beginning of the lesson). With her chubby arms and thick Russian accent she measured, in the air, the size of a bench. "You do not have this much room in your house to put the piano?" If only she knew. When I asked J if he could understand her (I struggled), he quipped "she is a little British, but I understand her."

I Am In Love

with a very old lady, you may remember her from posts past. She has Alzheimer's among other things and she spends her days at the nursing home where I take my students every Thursday morning. She has a potty mouth, piercing blue eyes, a sad smile and a frail body. I always find her in the hallway, with her coat on, at 10 am, waiting to leave (it is a full day program). When she gives me advice, I listen, and when she smiles at me, even though she has no idea who I am, my hear melts a little. I do not know why I love this little lady so much, but when I found her today, after fearing she might have died over the summer, I felt butterflies in my stomach. She will never know who I am, but she seems to like me every week when she meets me again, for the first time. Please don't die KL.

Curriculum Night- Check

Ooh, glad that is over. Long day. Had to wait until 4:15pm to get kids, M was in her first sewing class ("I got to iron!") and J had karate. Rushed home (cab, damn the m4), made dinner, said hi to babies for 3 seconds, greeted babysitter number 2. Oversaw MoJo shower/bath, showered made myself presentable. Walked back to school (fuck the m4). Did two mini nursery presentations while M and J's class presentations were going on (F was at M's). Went to part of M's (did not learn much about second grade). Went back to my classroom to greet parents and talk about curriculum for 1 plus hours. Came home (thank you m4), about to eat homemade gnocchi (not the best for my fat ass but delicious) and watch some Dexter. Pass out. Go to school and bus it to some island for a field day. OOOh OOOh week 2 of school is almost done!
PS THANK GOODNESS for L, the childcare saint and savior. She put 12 hours in with those monkeys today!

Happy Birthday!

to the bride and groom to be. Your last (unmarried) birthday. Cannot wait for the big day. Love jew both!!

Today's Comments

M to J when he was talking about the google earth they are going to invent that will see in people's houses: I am sorry I have other plans. I need to become a doctor first. Then when I am like 40 I can join this plan to become spys and add a way to go into people's homes with google earth to look at tetas.
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J looking at a muscle magazine: I want two big bumps like that on my arms.

MoVit?

M asked me to give her challenging words to spell and I could not stump her (they have to words she has heard of). Examples:
vehicle
vegetable
dumb
comb
laugh
daughter
spaghetti

any ideas on words I can stump her with?

Clearly V is related to M. He is a talking MACHINE. He looks at pictures and names people and animals (like Chloe? A dog he has not seen in months!) He names people who are not here and says "se fue." He can name all of his BT teachers (some have multisyllabic names!) and likes to tell me what belongs to whom (Bike. Papi Bike). He cracks me up!

J Screaming Out The Window

Excuse me, can you please stop chopping down that tree? It is bad for nature.
Me: I think he is done and probably gone.
Him: I do not want him to cut down somebody else's tress because they could love it more.

J Today

J: Papi you have to stop to say things to me in Italian that I have not even heard of. That goes for mami too.
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J: You are teaching me good manners. Like not to put my feet on the table and how to sit at the table. I am still working on that one.

Just Now

J: Can you stop buying a thousand boxes of tortellini? I like fafalline better. (AleVit addicted to tortellini and I do give MoJo many leftovers. The latter is farfalle.)

M: Forget the neighborhood, that is not hard with all of those rude moms out there,  I think you might be one of the best moms in the S-T-A-T-E. Actually, I think there is a slight chance that you might be one of the nicest. But another is probably Michelle Obama

J: But those moms that let their kids have all the candy, they seem like good moms, but they are the baddest ones.

M: Most rules are for your manners, your health, or so you do not get hurt.
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Me: Did you just pinch your sister?
J: Sorry. I got excited. It was a life moment. (what?!?!?)
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M: Mamá, do you think I will make a good doctor?
Me: Yes, of course. You will be excellent.
M: Well I think I when I am tired of that, or 65 and ready to retire, I think I will become a teacher.

From Today- Hot Off Their Lips!

M: My new French teacher is not strict but she means business.
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Me: Should you show them dangerous stuff?
J: No, not at this age.
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M on a roll: 95% of my meltdowns are caused by J annoying me...

It is unrealistic that I can control myself all of the time when J is annoying me...

Everybody in this family knows when I am going to have a meltdown, even J. I know he is not going to do this because he is him, but it would be nice if he stopped bothering me when he knows that I am about to have a meltdown.

J's answer: There are some good times and there are some bad times.
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Me to J outside his classroom (his second time there): Should I go in with you?  (the room was full of parents)
J: Why don't you  not?  (dagger to the heart)
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J: If you think about it, I am almost fourteen.
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J when I told him we did not have room for a play car (for him to drive): Can we buy a vacation house with a garage?
M: You are insane. we are trying to save up to move.

What M Read This Summer

27 Books.
No Joke.
More Than I have Read in YEARS.
Top is all Dahl, middle Magic Tree House, then Diary of A Wimpy Kid plus many light (Chocolate Fever) and not so light (Alice in Wonderland) others.

T"was The Night Before School

Or the morning before the morning before school I guess. Well, today is the day I finally get to see and be in my new classroom. As exciting and amazing as the renovations are, I was basically a waste of space and time in my school last week. We have not been able to get onto the second floor. Today is the day I need to make it happen- unpack boxes (which I can only hope are there), arrange furniture (which I have never seen), pray for the computer/Smartboard to be connected (although I have been told that I can only use it for display, they are no interactive yet), and wrap my mind around the start of school. J only has 1!! hour of school tomorow so we are still not in the child care clear. Yesterday we had our first swim lesson (all but J) and the babies did not love it. A, who pounded the beach, cried most of the time (cold? bored?) and V enjoyed it until he didn't, and then we had a chorus of crying, with 50% of the class (AleVit) unwilling to be dipped any more, sing any more, and eager to exit the pool. More later. Buona domenica!

Here We Go Again

J got a gash above his eyebrow while playing at home. I did not think much of it but when F came home he deemed it stitch worthy. What a pain! F took him to the ER, our home away from home, Mt Sinai and 2.5 hours later (and *(&#*& $200 copay!) J was back home, glued up and ready to sleep. This means he will miss swimming (we are all six! going to be hitting the pool every Saturday this fall) on Saturday but that his handsome face will have a smaller scar. Never a dull moment!

In!

J got into Mannes. I am not even sure that this indicates any talent but I am thrilled. They apparently let me know last week but I never got the message. It sometimes pays to be persistent (ie a ball buster). Post interview I emailed the head of admissions a song he composed with tío D and then I emailed her today to inquire when we might have a response. J is of course indifferent to having gotten in and already told me he is not going. I am so happy that he has this opportunity!

Recent Lines

J: I have one word for you: Meet-cha-there
Me: That is not one word.
J: Ok, three. Meet-cha-there.
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J: I like my new (converse) sneakers. They are comfortable and cool and teenagerey and they make me dance good.
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J: Do you think I could be president?
Me: Sure, if you want to be.
M: I am not saying it should be me, but I think the next president should be female.
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Me: Sorry I got so angry.
M: It's okay, I would be much worse.
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M as she donned her "Thing 1" Dr. Seuss shirt: I cannot believe I am one of four!
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M: I think Obama should go again.

Blast From The Past

I just dropped off J at tío D's house for music. His apartment, as most of you know, was originally my father's, then mine, then C's and now his. There are many memories there to say the least. As soon as I got off of the subway with A in the ergo and J holding my hand, it seemed like we were in the middle of a choreographed trip down memory lane. First I saw the deaf man. For years this elderly neighbor entertained me with his mute slapstick communication. All of his stories were about him not being married, not having money, and dying soon. There were pretty much only three gestures involved in his   tales. He was crossing the street and did not see me. The we saw Mehmet, the Turkish fruit stand guy who used to give baby M a free banana every time we passed. When I lived there I began to find ways to avoid that corner, for I felt very guilty taking so many bananas for him and he would not take no for an answer. J wanted to go over to him but not to say hello. I said we were only going if he was going to  say hi. During this tug of war Mehmet noticed us and called us over. One free banana for each kid. He remembered J's name and asked about M and my sister. What a memory! As we proceeded down 94th Street, another neighbor appeared. Our next door neighbor with a hoarding and garbage problem but lots of wigs smiled to me as she hobbled up the street. Remember her? Finally on the stoop was the once handsome and super skinny drug dealer neighbor. His parents were nice, his son so sweet, and he was always up to no good. Skinny dealer is now fat dealer and I imagined how many visits to McDonald's it took to get so heavy so fast. As if on cue, he asked J to give him five and said "what's up little man?" liked he used to say to him four years earlier when he was in a stroller. D's apartment looked pretty good. I opened the closet to get out my wedding albums and found them in three seconds. So many items in those closets. Who knew how good we had it when the walls were plastered with storage space. One day I will have to go over there to deal with my belongings. For now, four years and two kids after moving out, it was nice just to stroll into that previous life, with so many old characters in place, just for a little while.

Calando Huevos

Today we thought we would wrap up the summer break with a bike ride! For only $12! we rented two adult bikes with baby seats, all the helmets, and set out with the other monkeys to ride in Central Park. M got angry about the hills and uttered such goodies like "I am going to kill the person who invented family bike rides" and "I rather get stung by fifty bees than do this" or "this is the worst day of my life." The rest of us were having a ball, especially A, riding behind me, who dedicated herself to kicking me and trying to lift my shirt off. At one point in M's meltdown we saw some Spaniards on bikes. The eldest daughter, who could not have been younger than eighteen, was complaining more than M. I tried to give her a tip about the gears, she yelled at her mother "Joder, estoy yendo como cagando huevos (literally shitting eggs, I am assuming referring to her effort because she was in the wrong gear). I had a full throttle laughing attack and turned around to see F was also cracking up. Cagando huevos, very poetic. Moments later J said "let's go mamá, let's catch up to calando huevos!" This summer has been long, it has been impossibly trying, super fun, full of activities... I am not sure I would do it again (not work a single hour and always be with children) but I am lucky to have had the luxury of having it. Goodbye summer 2012 and hello 2012-13 school year. Off to work in the morning!

Old But Good (Found in Drafts- Excuse Any Repeats)

Me to M: Can you be quieter please? A is sleeping.
M: No, I cannot, it is my personality.
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M: Have you ever wanted to kill me?
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Me: Are you done being sneaky?
M? J? I think I am.
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J, The Mafia Man

J: Do me the favor or I will never do you a favor again in your life.
Me: Really?
J: Yes, I can make that happen.