MAMMA!

V definitely says it. I am not sure that he is always calling me but he smiles and looks at me when I respond. He speaks and she moves, it is funny. A has abs of steel and can do many interesting moves. She loved playing with new toys and with another baby girl today at BT. V mostly lay on the ground while Z gave him toys. He better learn to move or use twin telepathic powers to get A to get him toys. Walking home in the downpour was no fun.

Happy Baby!

Thankfully I seem to have two. Tomorrow is a big day as they start BT (only family so far to have 4 kids at this place!) just like MoJo before them. Could we have a normal size apartment or even a country house if we did not have BT tuition times four over the last six years? Sure. But it is worth it! I have my first day of school tomorrow and I need to leave early to meet L at BT to transition them into the Baby Room (BR). What a week this will be, as I try to set up my class room and attend meetings while transitioning AleVit and participating in parent meetings, prep M for Friday, her first day (well two hours) of first grade. Lots of hats, parent to Alevit at BT, teacher at work, parent to a JK and first grade student at school. By the way, V sucks this food down in under a minute. I think he likes the idea of a stream of food, a la bottle, but I am unsure if it is healthy to promote this kind of (me-like) vacuum cleaner-style eating. Off to bed! Another lovely day at the playground/Whole Foods lunch with tía D/picnic with T (& M). Buona notte!

Some Lines From Today...

M- I will be back in a gypsy!

M on the latest series she is reading: (the author) must have some magical powers that she makes these so good, I cannot stop reading these books.

At bedtime today (J)- There is a problem, I do not know how to be a grown up. I do not know what to do when I am one.

Me- Do not worry about that. Just worry about having fun and learning, you are a kid.

J- Okay. And play dates?

Wiped Out II

But I will post a little before I start forgetting some of the delinquent humor I am subjected to on a daily basis. I am tired because I woke up at 5:15am, fed V, changed, pumped, A woke up and I fed her, and then I met my mother for a 12 mile loop, our longest yet. We averaged 15 minute 15 second miles, which is not bad even though it will take us an eternity at that pace to cover 26.2. My goal now is to add 1-2 miles per weekend until race day. I came home and all was quiet on the western front because everyone behaves better when I am not here. AleVit was hungry so I showered, double nursed (very heavy and awkward) and we walked to 100 and cpw to the playground. It was HOT so we only stayed a while with tías S & D and then walked some more to Brother Jimmy's for lunch. Kids eat free, you cannot beat that. We walked up Broadway to the 96 st station and did I mention that it was HOT? We melted on the platform and got into a car with no ac. After carrying the stroller, bogged down with shopping up the subway stairs, we were beat, but we still had more to do. We showered and packed a picnic, switched strollers all within twenty minutes and went back up those Harlem Hills to the Great Lawn to meet friends and family for picnic. So, Central Park was my home today, used it to exercise, play, and socialize.
Some midget speech
V: Mamma (swear to Sting he said it, whether he was calling me or not is another issue but it was crisp!)
J: Shut up. I cannot hear the music and I am trying to drum a beat (nice manners no?)
M: I want your advice. I will tell you things I want to pierce and you tell me if it is a good idea or a bad one (ear, nose, navel to which I said sure, teenager, I do not recommend).
J (while rocking out in the car yesterday): Write down these songs (by Lynyrd Skynyrd, Stones, Billy Idol) so I can play them in my bands when I grow up.
I caught him singing the Idol song with the half upper lip up action.
When he told me he wanted to go to a Lynyrd concert he was surprised that they are not a band anymore: They are not friends anymore?
When I asked to turn the music off in the car: I wish you had stayed home, I need to rock out and you will not let me (he is a sweetheart).
More on the lovely comments tomorrow. Off to la camita. I am done for the day!

Wiped Out

From Sesame Place. Will post funny lines and incidents from our adventure tomorrow ifmI survive the 12 mile walk!

Coming Home

later than I said
to two fed and bathed babies...
priceless.
that has never happened to me before. Ever. In 6.5 years. Not asking and having someone execute the routine.
Thank you.
L!

J On His Play Date

When we picked his friend up there was a huge flower arrangement in her lobby.
Me- Real or fake?
J-Fake.
Me- The good thing is that they last longer, but they are plastic and that's not so nice
J- yeah. but you can add perfume to them and petals/
__
J is obsessed with karate (knows nothing), snapping (he is amazing- better than most adults), and beatboxing (pretty good considering he learned from TV). He assaulted his (female) play date today trying to see if she liked any of those things. Then he demonstrated that he could do all three at the same time.
-----
When we got to the street with the little girl she suggested that we take a taxi.
J- Uh, no. My mom is a bus girl. If you want a taxi girl, that is my abuela.
__
At the museum:
Looking at pictures of astronauts:
J-Where are their weapons?
Me- They do not have any.
J-What if they meet bad aliens?
--
When his friend was asking me about the animals (all embalmed):
They did not die. Somebody killed them to put them in this museum.

When I told J to follow his friend down the pole in the playground: I am not as tough as she is.

Happy Birthday AH!

I love you lots and wish you a year full of love and health. I am so excited that you are going to have J in your class and that I am going to work across the hall from you all year!

To Post or Not To Post?

When you have a blog like this one, I tend to feel like I need to be honest and not just write about the funny  or amusing (to you) parts of my life. Today I fucked up royally, cried, and then wondered if I could hide what I did from you. I could. But it would feel weird. So here you have it... I let ANOTHER BABY FALL. What the fuck is my problem? I understand gravity. I love my children. I just watched A bonk off the couch a few days ago, and I was not alone when my second baby fell. While L gave A her first bath, I confidently put V on the bed and turned to put his onesie in the wash (a few steps away). Why the fuck did I do this? Was it pressing? Am I a moron? I do not know, no, and yes, are the answers. I turned around to make sure he was right where I left him, in the center of the (huge!) bed, but he was no longer in the same frame of my vision and I had not moved. I could see one of his legs and I took two giant steps towards my bed as he fucking fell of it (the bed is high and there is no rug). Do not call child services please. I think I got it this time. NEVER LEAVE A BABY UNATTENDED FOR EVEN TWO SECONDS. This is so basic, but I am apparently in need a refresher course. V screamed. How could he not? The shock of falling coupled with my screaming and cursing. L was sweet and calmed me down (now I really know this will never happen on her clock). V did not get lethargic or vomit or act strangely or have much more than a red mark. But alas, I am an idiot, and now it is confirmed, certifiably ill equipped to keep babies safe. I have to admit that if I did not have so many witnesses both times, I would have considered not telling F. In case you do not know this, he is a safety FREAK and reminds me to "hold the kids hands while crossing" and other cliches that make it seem like I do not know how to keep them safe. And I guess so far I am proving him right. Sensing my distress when I came clean on the phone, F bought me flowers. Very sweet. I do not want to post about this ever again. I will not let babies fall off of high surfaces. I am lucky that mine seem to bounce, but I am a jerk all the same.
PS MoJo behaved like shit today. I am ready for school and routines to begin!

So

Weird when I skip a day of posting. It is also weird to be in a technology training session for seven hours! That was my day yesterday and it iwll be my day today. I leave you with funny things J has said in the last 48 hours:

to V=  I know how you feel. I did the most I could to defend you (against A)
__-
in the park as he put on his bathing suit for the sprinklers: Did you bring my sun shirt? I do not want to show my privates to the park.
Me- Boys do not have privates on the top part of their body
J- What do you call these (pointing to nipples)?
__
Firstable... (rhymes with vegetable but means first of all)

Bad Mamma

So while I good at sharing A's rolling and other acrobatic skills, I am apparently weak on the supervision front. Knowing how fast and feisty she is, I left her on he couch, on a Boppy (c- shaped pillow) next to her little brother. I walked away a few feet to the sink and heard a thump. Crap, she is the third baby to fall (only the second on my watch, abuela let J fall of a high high bed at five months). V is the only fall free baby now. I am sure she is fine, but what the hell is my problem? Poor A, her teary face, full of disbelief, made me feel like a bad Mamma indeed. AleVit is currently napping as J and I watch He-Man ( from 1983!) and M continues her bucolic life with a nicer family. Metro north is totally shut down today due to flooding so F has to drive there after work to pick her up!

WWF Baby Smack Down

I wish you could see the scene on my bed. AleVit is literally wrestling each other, fighting for over ten minutes now, for a baby hair brush. V is stronger but A is way faster. He tries to roll over her to steal the brush but she ninja rolls away. Her moves in the last 24 hours are crazy. She gets on all fours and rocks, takes a crawl or two. That part is normal. Another variation that I think makes her strange (remember that she cannot even sit up unassisted) is that she will get on all fours and 1) do a downward dog like motion where she is on her hands and tippy toes or 2) go from all fours to sitting while holding herself up with one hand to 3) this one was crazy and only happened once but I have a witness: going from downward dog to sitting with a double foot hop (you know how in yoga they say walk or hop you feet to your hands? She chose the latter more advanced option that I steer away from) or 4) She straight out tried to stand from her all fours position but had no balance or real ability to do so. A future gymnast? A is currently biting V's butt.

Champion Sleepers!

I officially declare AleVit sleep trained. I am printing their certificates as I write. V did 12 and A 13 hours straight! Sure there may be some more hiccups along the way, but I know that these babies can go all night long as Lionel says. Some upcoming challenges that could jostle this glorious sleeping include explaining spooning to AleVit (they currently sleep side by side perpendicular to the natural direction a baby sleeps in a crib but they are getting too tall for that), as well as V's tooth coming in and A's crawling (oh the terror of mobility!) Off to watch F & J bake bread, it is a long process, perfect for this soggy day (it has been rising for the last 20 hours).

J J J

Just now..
J- You should brush V's teeth, they smell bad (he doesn't have any, unless you count some teeeny daggers coming up)
Me- He does not have any teeth, I do not think they smell bad.
J- He does and they do.
Me- No he does not.
J- Then how do you get the guy clean?
___
Yesterday in our pre-hurricane Harlem Meer walk..
This is not a short cut, it's a long cut.
I am not walking anymore. I am going backwards.

Oh Come On Already!

SICK of hearing about this hurricane. Hope it is over soon. Media coverage and hysteria absurd. Off to bed!

Alcohol & MoJo

Every time I serve myself a beer M asks me if I am an alcoholic. I tell her that is not a term to use lightly but she insists that if I drink alcohol, I must be one.
----
When I put j to bed tonight, I told him what a good big and little brother he is (he pulls a chair up to the crib and adjusts chupetes when babies cry while saying "what's wrong puppolone/a?"). I asked him if he knew who else was a little brother and told him that F was. J really does not get family relations ever, but this time he looked at me perplexed and inquired: how can a little brother drink beer?

Earthquakes, and Hurricanes, and Kids, Oh My!

First the tremor, then the four kids, wait those came first. I do not want anyone to get hurt or anything but Hurricane Irene is a pain in my ever expanding ass. Did I mention that I had half a sleeve of chocolinas and two waffles with Nutella and dulce de leche (not at the same time,I am an equal opportunity fatty so I alternated)for dinner? I really hope Irene comes and goes just like a big, overhyped storm. Stores will have cashed in on the hysteria, the media will have had their fun, and we van all go on with our weekend. I am down one kid as M is in the country, but if I am trapped with three kids and no electricity for more than two hours... Okay I am a spoiled brat. Of course I can survive without tv, phone, computer, or even worse, no cold food, but I rather not. Here's to an uneventful weekend and a ban on highly caloric spreads.

Three Times The Charm?

Why didn't I move them out before? Babies went ALL NIGHT again. There was some crying (brief) from one and then the other 4amish but with one or two visits from F they went back. I have not slept so much in ages. The ironic thing is that now I feel even more tired and crave naps. I guess it is like when you are hungry, have some snacks, and only further whet your appetite. A is napping. V is rolling around on my bed as I fold laundry, MoJo is watching a movie downstairs. I feel lazy. I am not sure that we will do anything before I need to take M to Grand Central for her three (!) night sleepover in the country for her best friend's birthday. When talking about this sleepover M said: I cannot wait for the sleepover i think it is good to have a break.. m (e's mom) is way calmer than you, not like an insult but she is calmer than you.
When I asked her if she wanted a time out today as she was rude to me.. she snapped "No, I want a better life."
I cannot wait for her to be a teenager (just kidding).

Uncle G Reports That at The Yankee Game...

G- "Does (your) mom let you drink soda?"
6 year old niece: "No, but I think we can make an exception."
__
4 year old nephew 5 innings into the game as Yanks are losing: "They aren't even playing! When are they going to play? They just stand there and do nothing! This is so boring!" 


__


I have to agree with J on that one. Baseball- no me gusta!


Thank you tía D and tío G for taking the midgets to their first game. They will surely remember it. They ate dinner too! J told me about "Just Jeter"- not sure where he got that name.

Team for Kids Fundraising Time!

As you might know by now, I have a few things that I am passionate about. This year, I am walking the NYC marathon with my mother, bringing together my love for this incredible event, my inability to run it (double back surgery will do that to you), my interest in children, charities, and my mother:) That is right, I am walking it with her. This woman has not exercised a day in her life, making this resolution, to walk for TFK, an even more insane one. Many of you have already donated and I thank you. If you have not, I implore you to give, even $5, so that I can reach the minimum goal of $2,620. $100 per mile is sort of ambitious, but with your help I know that I can do it. Without your help, I will personally have to shell it out as well as live with the humiliation of my mother raising more mula. So donate NOW. PLEASE. THANK YOU. Use this link to support me with any amount donation. I only have 1.5 months to collect $2,620!
http://www.runwithtfk.org/Member/PublicPage/3992

Take III

AleVit slept solidly through the night for the second night in a row! Still not convinced it will last, but...Off to CPR training.

J Today

Why do girls have different bodies than boys? (As he walked in on my shower)
__
I am going to work at Delonghi when I am older.
me- Papi does not work there any more.
Well then I am going to work at Moleskine. Will papi still be there?
___
I am not going to JK, or to high school, I am just going to be a grown up.

SSHHH

Both babies slept all night. Too good to be true so let's pretend I did not just write that. MoJo came home at 10:30pm in their pjs, asleep in C and E's arms and babies still did not make a peep. I do not want to claim any victory because who knows what tomorrow will bring. Had I not stayed up until 1am watching Chopped- addictive cooking show I recommend, I might have even slept well. Today is a long day with 4 bambini and no help or activities planned. Let's see how it goes.

Floor Shaking II

The pseudo ersatz Ispica earthquake did not suffice for the summer. Today, as I sat on the toilet to pee, I experienced a real tremor. I thought it was a plumbing problem as the toilet was swaying. WEIRD. L was downstairs with babies freaked out because the shutters were shaking. When I got outside and saw all of Harlem on the sidewalk, I knew it had not been my imagination. Earth tremors. Something new to worry about. Waiting for MoJo to return from Philly (their plans changed 1000 times today) and for A to stop crying so she can start the night. We are trying sleep music tonight. Walked 9 miles in the park post yoga and post tremor. Hoping ferberizing II goes better tonight. Just to make sure I remember how she feels, my mother told me that letting A cry was psychologically damaging to her. Never spares her comments.

Ferberizing Night I

Son of  gun. They guy who always wakes up and eats all night long made it through the WHOLE night (one tiny wake up at 11:45pm). His sis, Ms A. woke up at 3:15 am and cried until 5:45am. Sad, soft crying that she revved up to angry loud crying whenever F went into the room to reassure her. I had told myself that no matter what, after 5/5:30am I would pick them up for feeding. This plan did not work since A had already been crying for two hours by then and I did not want her to think that that is what she has to do in order to get out of the crib. Oy! At 5:45 she fell asleep and woke up happy as a clam at 8:30am. I took a nap 6:30-7:30am but have otherwise also been awake. We went back to yoga today! I had two classes left on the card. What a difference from a few months ago! V would not stop talking and rolling and A almost crawled! I was able to do most of the class, although they got increasingly cranky and tired. V was even a teacher's helper as I fed A, the teacher used him for all of her demonstrations. Off to walk in the park, L has arrived for the bebés and there is training to be done!

Did I Mention Two Bedrooms?

Damn, the crib looks BAD in MoJo's room. I am not sure what I was thinking but now that my room looks normal again, theirs is like a storage room and my babies are in it. I have been waiting to get them out of my room so they can learn to sleep through the night, so I can sleep through the night.. But like all other growth steps, they are hard and I am sad. I am trying brace myself for the night when they wake up, V especially, and I do not go to him, do not feed him, do not take him out. Give me strength!
PS The rest of today was lovely, nap with babies, museum with D, walk in the park. Tomorrow I may revisit yoga!

Monday

Weird day. MoJo on their way to Philly for an overnight complete with Sesame Place tomorrow. Nice break. For all of us. Our first separation of this nature. We be very attached. Left them a few times for a night or two for surgery or to give birth. Went to Paris once for 3.5 days. That is it, only times we have been apart. Did errands in the am while L stayed with bebés. She adores them and they her and she is really sad that they will be starting day care. Did not accomplish much in my morning off but it was good to be free. PT was more like acupressure and other alternative Eastern practices, as my guy is out on paternity leave and I had a Japanese woman. Rather than do exercises and make me work she pressed and stretched and touched. Weird. Hopefully will feel okay tomorrow. Off to do laundry. More later.

M On Sleepovers

When I first sleep at a place for the first time I do not feel safe because I have not been there before, like when I will go to the country (upcoming sleepover at her bf's country house next weekend). When I go to Philly I will feel like of protected and kind of not because I have known C my whole life, but I just met E.

Rolling Rolling Rolling

AleVit's increased rolling and squirming and grabbing makes for a hard bedtime. They wrestle each other, take out their own chupetes, throw lovies at me and get all agitated. I guess I should be grateful that they cannot sit or pull up yet, because then I need to push them into horizontal mode as well to convince them to sleep. Tomorrow is the big day. Their crib will be moved out of our room and they will have to rough it out all night long as F ferberizes them (ie lets them cry and not get out to eat or play during the night). MoJo will get the brunt of it as their room will officially become a dormitory. I will bury my head under a pillow and try to resist the urge to punch F and take them out of the crib to feed. Let the good times roll!

When Objects Do Not Collaborate

I am on the bus. It is, like a miracle that I made it on with MoJo, only twenty minutes late for J's play date. We left the house, loaded down with bags, as usual, in sweltering heat and when we got to the bus stop I realized I did not have my wallet. Curses. The three blocks became nine as we had to trek back home so I could dismantle the stroller and find my wallet. Get on the bus and the unlimited card that I was so proud of borrowing (nothing gets me going like wasting money on the MTA - major transit assholes) was expired. So, I put my bags down and get another card that only has $1.70 on it and I only have two dimes. I owe 35 cents and I refuse to pay another full fare. Their system is so cool, if I dipped another card, it would take out the whole amount again. Some kind strangers offer to exchange a dollar for me (that too was a process because the first woman who offered did not want to part with any of her special quarters and kept giving them to me and taking them away, dropping coins, you get the picture) and I got on. I am now on another bus. We dropped J off and went to buy a drink. But when I went to pay I did not have any money (why would I? I took out $300 a few days ago), so we had to leave the items and go get cash). All items in the universe are against me. Today, it is money related items, other days it is the category of technology or electronics that gang up against me. When we hopped on the subway to go do errands, the metro card would not of course, give me a transfer. So I decided to go all in and buy a damn unlimited. The transit check
credit card was rejected twice before the machine sucked it in, charged me the $29, and here we are. I wonder what else can go wrong in the 45 minutes I have left before getting J. S little time, so much money and spent, so little accomplished.

Happy Birthday MV!

May this year be full of health and love and all things cinema-related. Hope to see you soon!

XO

Feliz Cumple VH!

Que los cumplas feliz. Que descanses de tu viaje. Muchos besos. Love you mucho. See you soon!

NO SLEEP

Horrible night. Each baby woke up 7 or 8 times I think. Every time I looked at my watch less than an hour had gone by. Then I fall asleep while feeding. Or they fall asleep and I am scared to move them. So babies collect on the bed. Then J inevitably comes to get a drink or to cuddle. Before you know it, I am at the foot of my bed like a dog. Once I fell asleep for more than two seconds the police woke us up. Banging on everyone's door and ringing doorbells (at 4am!). Did we hear the shooting? WTF? I live on the inside and cannot hear shit. Also, what kind of a person opens the door to a stranger (if I were a bad guy I would pretend to be the police) and chit chats in the middle of the night? So, I just got V down for a nap and wrestled A for an hour. In the mean time, V woke up, MoJo fought incessantly even though they were each set up with an activity (Ipad, reading) and now I am entertaining A with the mobile and V with the post nap feeding. It is raining. It is only 9:50 am and I honestly feel kind of done for the day. Lucky for me, I have no sitter or activity for the day so I am sure the time will fly by until 7 or 8pm when F comes back.

M At Bedtime

I wish I had met your grandfather. Were you pregnant with me when your grandfather died?
No. He died after I got married. That was the last time I saw him.
Well at least it is a nice memory.

M's Deep Bedtime Thoughts

Sometimes I feel like I am not as happy as I could be.
---
You always want what you do not have and if you had it then you would want what you had.
Me-like what?
Like if you had a kangaroo in your house then you would not want it. It is a good thing all wishes do not come true.

6 Month Check Up

AleVit has grown! They each grew 1. 5 inches since their 4 month visit (wish I could get taller) and V is 16 lbs 12.5 oz and A 14 lbs 4 oz. Not bad. I need to sleep train these babies soon. This requires going to IKEA to buy a tall piece of furniture to replace the various short crappy ones in MoJo's room to make room for the crib, that F has to disassemble to get out of our room. You get the picture as to why we have been procrastinating. At this point the babies should be able to sleep 10 hours in a row. But they don't. I am thinking that if they cannot see, smell, and hear me two inches from their face, this will help. Summer is coming to a roaring halt and there is so much to do still! AleVit is being catapulted into BT life on Sept 7. I am sure I will be able to be at work and transitioning them into daycare at exactly the same time. WTF? Everything always overlaps. I will be coordinating childcare for MoJo and AleVit for a whole other month it looks like. Hope they do not cry too much when F rubs their shot spots. Pobrecitos.

Philly in Torrential Rain

We set out to have lunch with C and E today and this meant that we would go on a road trip and get to see the house as well. Well, the two hour trip took over four on the way there and just under three on the way back. Yes, we were in the car for seven hours and there for 1.5. MoJo was ecstatic (they already have a stash of toys there), AleVit thrilled to get out of their damn car seats (where they spent most of their Italian vacation), and we, adults, were happy to see the new abode. Now I can imagine where my sister is when I miss her. As in always.

J to V- Viewing Commentary

We are watching Spiderman dude.
It's okay, no need to be afraid, Spiderman will win this.
The real Spiderman will win this. He wins every game.

Missing A Baby

When she/he is asleep is a strange phenomenon. It is illogical since a great part of the day is wrestling them to sleep, but it always happens. A slept from 4pm to 12:30 am!, ate and kept sleeping until 5am. I guess it was the right thing to let her sleep. I never believed in waking up a baby. When they sleep, when I win and get them down... I miss them. It makes no sense. I am almost sad that they gave up. J and AleVit are sitting on my bed (propped on pillows) watching Spiderman on the ipad. I am sure they should not watch TV but J has his arm around V and they are all so engaged.. it is too cute.

So..

I sweat for 1.5 hours to get the babies to sleep this pm. V lasted 45 minutes. A is 4 hours in. I guess she thinks it's nighttime. I cannot wake her up. I hope she lets me sleep a little. I LOVE jetlag. She already took a 2 hour nap this am and another 45 min one in the pm. So she is clearly exhausted. I am pretty sure my night sleep will end 2ish when she is up for the beach in Italy. Hope I am wrong. MoJo exhausted. Fell asleep in 2 seconds.

Brotherly Love

J to V: If you want to learn how to walk to places. I will teach you. (Walks). There you go. Easy.
V to A while she cried her brains out... caressed her arm (mimito) across the crib and held out his chupete for her to take (she did not).
Priceless.

MoJo Musings III

M- You are going to be an aunt to my cousin...if I ever get one.
--
M talking about her sleepover at a country house: If you came to the country you would need someone to replace you, and I think that would be hard for papi for two days, because it is hard for just one day.
__
Me to J- You fell because you were running.
J- I was not running. I was galloping.
___
When I told J to order his lunch like a  big boy: I am four, that is not a lot. I am not ready.
__
In the middle of lunch at a diner today, M yelled out with food in her mouth: Where's papi? (he had left 5 hours earlier for work).
__
When J did not say hi to a classmate we saw on the street I asked him why.
J- I do not like girls.
Me- What about me?
J- I like you a little.
__
J recently told us that he wants to work at Delonghi and get a dot tattoo to be like papi. Just a dot because a drawing would hurt too much. Too many needles.

Home Sweet Home

I will be brief because it took us 20 hours door to door and I am wiped. It is 4am for me (10pm in NYC) and I vow to never fly to Europe and then back for an ALL DAY flight any time in the near future. Highlights included a near fistfight with the cutting Italians in Palermo, as well as waiting FOREVER for our luggage. More tomorrow. Happy to sleep in my bed. When you take 4 kids and put them to bed at 11pm and then make them wake up before 6am and make them travel for 20 hours and put them to bed at 8pm (that feels like 2am to them) do they sleep a lot? My guess is no. But we will find out!

Happy Birthday A!

From the hot Sicilian beaches to the muggy Big Apple... Happy Birthday to You! We will celebrate upon our return. Lots of love... V & co.

Beach Highs & Lows

Highs:
J dancing on the boardwalk looking at his reflection in the mirror. I told him he was good and should put a hat out and he did the next day. He was very offended that he did not any money.
Aqua gym for a few minutes a few times. C and I or just I trying to exercise in the water with Italian sexy ladies and old ladies.
Dinner at sunset on the beach. Beautiful place. okay food. At one point J said "let's get out of here, it smells like dog poop."
The one walk/jog I did on the beach with F. Not far or fast but nice to exercise on the beach.
Lows:
Never sunbathing for more than three minutes.
Never swimming alone.
Not having a single bathing suit I like or feel comfortable in.
Eating too much crap on the beach.
Playing Kadima only once.

More Musings

J- You are getting a lot more white hair. Soon you will be an old lady. We do not want an old lady for our parent.
----
As I tried to explain what the word unbearable means, I told J "it would be unbearable for me to be without you for many days."
J- you could adopt another child.
----
M's new expression... I do not mean to break your brian but (request arrives)
---
Her new phrases while melting down include... I wish this were a dream/my life is a nightmare/my life is like a glob of poop.
---
When talking about babies who have formula, M called it "recipe"
--
When worrying about her potential sleepover at nonna's house, M said "I am worried I will have a reaction."

MoJo Musings II

J- when you are forty you will be divorced.
Me- I doubt it.
J- well, one of you mightbbe dead.
----
M- can brothers and sisters get married?
Me- no, it is illegal.
M- why does Bloomberg care?
Me- it is not nAtural and your kids can come out strange.
M- like hunchbacks? They should just write you a ticket you do not need to go to jail for that.

6 Months Baby!

It was six months ago today, that AleVit came out to' play. KA-RAY-ZEE that half a year has gone by. These puppies are big, and cute, and heavy. Nobody has teeth yet. Nobody knows how to sleep all night (although A comes close at times). Both are working on sitting. Lots of good grabbing from both. V's signature move is to take the chupete out of A's mouth and pop it into his own. Both babies can suck their feet, a trait which provides lots of entertainment. Both like to suck on brioches or bread. Both smile and laugh (ands of course cry like babies). V can talk up a storm and A is quieter. I have a feeling this will change as time goes by. Next week they are going in for their six month visit and I will have more hard facts to share. Happy six months AleVit, you have made our lives so sweet!
PS time stamp is wrong on this device, it is August 8th!

MoJo Musings

M asked me how you get a boyfriend today. Ugh
J told C - When I am five and V is four, we will be best friends.
M spent a long time rolling up her bathing suit top to make a bikini. When I told her that she should take advantage of being able to the topless and that I would buy her a bikini hen she had breasts, she asked - Can it be golden? (yes). With peace signs? (yes) and Hannah Montana?

Old School Twin

Yesterday we met a friendly man in his sixties on the beach. V was lunging for him, he took him in his arms, making him the first and only italian man to have held a baby. It turns out this man is a twin and he told us how he was born at home, his mother unaware that she had two babies in her. He and his brother weighed under three pounds each, and the midwife made an incubator out of a bedwarmer and towels. Who knows how long they stayed in there, but it reminded me how powerful nature and humans were, long before Dr. C and all that jazz.

Planking

In addition to all of the cool planking pics, we had the chance to literally walk the plank every time we went to the bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere. Did I mnention that the floor imploded in the middle of they hallway so that it was impossible to go anywhere without stepping on the raised tiles, or after the eighty year old worker came, the planks? We left the worker here in the am and came back seven hours later and he had not finished. I goes without saying that he must have gone home to nap right after we left and come back to look busy right before we cam back from the beach. We could see the dus and grime from the crap Jo he did from the sidewalk. The stairs up to the apartment were filthy as well. In conclusion, the senior brick layer came to pick up his planks on his way to his beach day. He felt no need to check his work (crap) or to clean anything up. Viva l'italia!

Some Odd and Some Charming

Things that have happened that we have seen in the last few days...
1. The restaurant on the water in Siracusa had a bucket on a rope with which they lowered meals to boats -- naval take out. Too bad the food wasn't good.
2. C was changing A's diaper and saw a hair. Given that I shed everywhere this is not interesting. The more she pulled, the more she realized that it was actually IN A. She had swallowed a long hair and C had to gently pull it out of her butt.
3. Only old people seem to live in the building of our rented dilapidated apartment. There is someone above us who also uses to bucket technique to lower his garbage. There are about six different garbage days here, very detailed recycling, and I look to his bucket of trash to see what I need to throw out on a given day. I snuck down and added our "regular garbage" to his, just two minutes before the truck came by. It was delightfully satisfying timing. As I hung out our clothes on the balcony,today, I saw the plastic recycling truck go by, but I thought it might be too aggressive to throw my plastic goods off the balcony.
4. As I got out of the sea holding two babies yesterday, a little Italian girl came up to me and asked to hold A. She could not have been more than six. I was struggling to not trip or drop a greasy baby, and this girl would not let up. She was pulling A and I was looking for her grown up. I proposed bending down so she could hug A, thinking this would appease then little monster. Well, as soon as I bent down, the little shit was trying to pry A out of my arms. I said, we are in the water and you are a little girl and I do not know you and you cannot hold a baby in the water. I basically ha to flee from her. A man came over, who I hoped was her father, but he was just a guy who wanted to make sure that I did not drop two babies as I was assaulted by a midget kidnapper.
Off to get J, who hd a solo sleep over at his nonna's house!

Outeating a Large Man

Yesterday my sister in law's boyfriend, one of the largest men I know, told me that he could not believe how much food I consumed in such a short time. He witnessed one of my eating attacks right before dinner as I ate cheese and bread faster than he could cut it.I am pleasantly surprised that I have been just nursing (no bottles, fruit for lunch and dinner) for the first time since the babies were born. I guess I could take his comment as an insult, but coming from a 250lb man, I think it is a compliment. I can eat him under a table. Is that the expression with drinking?off to bed, I ate too much!

And Then The Floor Opened Up

As we were getting redy for dinner. F and I were in the hallway and there was a rumblimg... a crackling... And tiles are buckling upwards. Weird stuff. I thought it was an earthquake. F thought the house was collapsing... We evacuated. Cut to the next scene. C and I on the sidewalk barefoot. Each with a baby. One is naked. J is barefoot and shirtless. M is with shirt and naked on the bottom (not sure why she was doing her workbook half nude). I grabbed a towel with one of the babies so she put that on as a skirt. We looked weird and more out of place than usual. I am sure the two babies added a surreal touch. We wondered if F would join us or just crash down with the building. Cut to next scene... A muratore, wall guy? Comes over to tell us that it happens in sicily, it's the heat. Oh, of course. Ps we have a great pic of what the floor looks like now but I am unable to add from here. Email me a personal request for the image or wait until we get back to a regular computer.

Tanti Auguri a Te!

Happy birthday C! I hope you do not regret spending the big three oh here in Sicilia with the crazies. You are the best sister and aunt a gal could ask for. Que los cumplas feliz! TQM!,,

No Food For You!

Yesterday we had lunchby the beach at an outdoor place that promised to be fast-ish and yummy.
We went with Nonno G and several very hungry hippos. C ordered the pasta of the day, orechiette with sausage an broccoli. The pasta came and it had red sauce but no sign of anything else. We inquired and the waiter agreed that it the wrong dish. In the meeting time, we all started eating. He came back, confirmed that it was the right pasta. C asked for cheese. By then, most of us had finished our food. We concluded that the pasta was cold, an imposter, not the special of the day, and F told the waiter to bring the real pasta of the day. My meal, a salad, left a lot to be desired, so I ordered some fries. Many many minutes later, we were all done. We called the waiter over and asked, "wtf?". Nonchalantly, he replied, "oh, they didn't tell you? The pasta is not coming." I asked about my fries. "oh, they didn't tell you? The kitchen is closed. There is no more food coming." good technique, blame it on the bad (invisible) cop. Needless to say, I did not need fries, but I think C had earned her lunch.

There We Go

Babies woke up three or four times each and I went to bed super late and woke up super early. C and I drank a 1.5 liter bottle of bubbly supermarket wine before doing that but I am happy to say that I have zero hangover. Off to tend to laundry on the balcony.

August Is Here!

We spent most of the day at the beach. Instead of eating at the buffet expensive place we ate at the bar out back and had a better and way cheaper meal.C and I did a few minutes of water aerobics but it was ending and we also played some Kadima- I am so sporty. The girls went clamming so to speak in the afternoon. The pseudo clamming involves digging in the sand in a competitive fashion, while trying to find mini clam like creatures called telline. M cannot wait to cook them and eat them with pasta tomorrow. We went to visit some family friends in the evening. I sometimes forget how we, in the USA tend to use filters and be more PC. As I got out of the car, the father of the family commented jokingly on my grey hair and said he ws happy that time passed for me as well. A friend of theirs then asked if C was my child too. they were all very nice and we were there forever. The cultural differences are always gh though- like when the same woman asked me if V could eat pineapple, to which I responded no, to which she responded by giving it to him anyway. People were smoking everywhere...you know just like Americans do around small children. Let me stop rambling to share some comments made by the midgets in the last couple of days. In the car ride back, J asked out of the blue - Who is G-d? When I asked him earlier, as I read email, if he wanted a play date with a friend from school, he responded with attitude- I think I am too far away for a play date. Do you want me to take a plane? He also asked me today: Are there ice cream trucks (looks around) in this kind of world? I need to sign off now. More tomorrow! PS M has pink eye too and there are good odds for the babies too.

Violence Anyone?

I know kids have played with guns for ages, that violence is pasty of being a little boy, but what the fuck? My son is into action figures and recently got a Captain America with lots of weapons that speaks (gotta love toys that make fucking noise). I says all sorts of annoying patriotic and threatening things,that along with its huge weapons, make for one fucked up toy. What the he'll kind of message is this supposed to convey to a kid? Dd Marvel make it or the US Defense Dept? A few days ago we saw a gun filled with candy in the supermarket here in Sicily. J begged me to get it and I told him, for the 10000 time, that I would never buy him a gun (thank abuela for the Captain Asshole and his weapons). "please? I will not shoot anyone, I will just shoot the candy int my mouth." What a lovely idea. Wo is the asshole that invented this toy? Do they make plastic penises that shoot candy too? What is wrong with people? What is wrong with parents who buy this crap? I cannot imagine the meeting at which one of these dumb ass (and very successful, so what the fuck do I know?) ideas were pitched. "yeah, so it will be a salon, full of make up and toxic fumes, and we will market it to four to yen year olds for their birthday parties." I am in!

Firsts!!

This vacation has been a collection of firsts for the babies. They had their first real sea immersion today. C and I stripped them down and lathed them up with sunscreen and into the Mediterranean sea they went. V loved and it and A was more apprehensive, grabbing onto C's neck every time she lowered her in. Even without teeth the babies have had their first bread and first cookies and brioches, both seem quite capable of sucking the essence out of a carbohydrate. Being on the beach, not even on the beach, in a town near a beach, is a lot more work than it sounds like. Aren't I a brat? I do not mean to be a spoiled brat, but the loading and unloading of babies into car-seats, the napping and eating is quite labor intensive. Impossible without C's help. Thank goodness for her presence. AleVit will never remember this trip, but they will haves pictures and MoJo to verify, that they did indeed vacation in Sicilia as al oats six month olds, and that their mother was indeed one crazy mammma.

Buona Domenica

Is what italians say to each other all day once a week. Italians know how to take a day off. When I lived in Milano many moons ago F and I would spend half of the day in bed and the other sleeping. Domenica is a day for church, soccer, family, relaxation. August is the equivalent in months. Cities across Italy are emptied as all Italians flock to the beach or the mountains because it is a month to relax, nobody works (well obviously those in the tourist industry do). while it is almost unbearable for an anxious city gal like me, there is something to be said for a whole day or even month in which you are not expected to do much. Everyone is in bed or sleeping, I tried but I had to wrestle babies. Nw that they are both down, I lost my urge to nap. Oh well, buona domenica.

Giu

When j yells at pinto, Nona Ni's dog, it sounds like he is anti-Semite, it is quite funny. I really loathe having dogs barking at me and licking me. We had dinner al fresco last night and the first half was torture thanks to the canine crew that everyone but your truly loves.I just read Tina Fey's last book and her part about animals cracked me up. I could really identify. She writes that shenhas no interest whatsoever in animals and tries to react normally when shown pictures of pets- like an autistic must be taught to react to certain human actions even though they have no feelings about it. I guess I am a bit less sweet. I hate dogs. Nice day at the beach. Lots of food. Off to eat with the Jewish dogs.

The Science of Sleep

Is something I clearly know very little about. For two nights now, the babies have slept. We are sort of on half jet lag. I have been going to bed midnightish (my regular 9ish bedtime) and waking up nineish (6amish). The first night A cried a maniac and F and I disagreed on how to proceed. After lots of crying that broke my heart, she slept all night. V woke up once first night and I brought him onto the bed to feed. I fell asleep and he slept nicely all night with us. Last night was similar, except that nobody went down crying and I know that I did not pick V up but he was in my bed in the am and I felt him doing self service during the night. Skillful midget could almost feed himself. I am thinking that he may have even gotten out of the pack and play alone. So, all is well in Italia sleep wise. M and J are fighting like maniacs. I am eating like one. J's other eye is pink. My hair is horrible now that I can see just how short and frizzy it is. On the up side, the length makes my face look older and fatter so at least I have that. Off to prepare for the beach.

We Made It

Not surer how but weare here. Plane seats are ma for skinny people with no kids and although the babies we're stellar. Not a peep! Mojo slept pretty well. Grown ups hardly. The plus hour drive post flight was th icing on the cake. My neck may nevr be the same again. Did I mention that we figured out that there was or had been a rodent on our carry on? Weird as shit I know, but no other explanation for the bite marks all over my petit beurre cookies the nice detail wS that I had all of the children's sleeping tools (locked, stiffs, blankets etc) in there so I had tools with which to sooth them since I did not not want to let them snuggle and suck where rodent had tread. It was fun dismantling the bag in JFK waiting for the furry guy to jump out. He did not, which mens he is partying with hi cousins a Lenox ave. Cool. Off to sleep even though I am not sure how that will work. Annk goodness for C and her infinite patience. A domain.

Ready Set Go!

Tickets, money, passport (that is what ab fab says). In our case I guess "kids, babies, milk, and ZEN" are what we need. Just had a moronic conversation with Super Shuttle. We booked a private entire blue van but Ms operator warned me "the drive will not wait." I am not sure what that means since we paid $125 already. Empty threat? Off to wrangle children. M has been ready to go with her backpack on for a long time now. She does not accept that it will be about 22 hours before we get where she wants to be. Wish we could be teletransported!

Packing Packing Packing

It is all in two small (roll on) suitcases and one medium one. Plus one canvas for the plane and my pump bag. I may as well be moving houses with all of the crap that 6 people need for two weeks. Mamma mia! Not exactly looking forward to tomorrow, the odyssey to the airport, the 9 hour flight followed by the 3 hour drive...but we will have tía C and hopefully the monsters will collaborate!

Triple Haircut

Took J this am to the barber in the hood. She buzzed it like I asked, but made that line thing across his forehead that hispanic and black boys seem to sport, He hates it and told me that I put a rectangle on his head. So, I will take him back and I hope they can fix it (like everything else, it was not done right the first time- he does look funny).
Step 2 I went to Extreme" to get my and M's hair cut. Hers looks cute, mine not so much. The woman talked me to death about coloring it and layering it and did not mind that I told her that I was not getting anything that required maintenance. This is one of the reasons (besides the fact that I am busy and cheap) that I avoid beauty sessions- I do not want to chat, ie be tortured by the hairdresser. She told me "do not let yourself go, just because you have kids" (she was dressed like an Albanian hooker, so she should know) and when she finished chopping off a foot (literally) added "it is your fault that it does not look better because you would not let me give you layers." I am happy I spent my hard earned money there to be put down by a hairdresser with tons of unsolicited advice.

Incompetence Ineptitude Incomplete Idiocy

My day was comprised of going round in circles sort of but not really accomplishing anything. Got the drops from CVS but they did not use my insurance so I need to go back to get the fortune credited. Spent a year t At& T after wasting time at Metro PCS but I did not conclude my phone bullshit. Lost my water bottle. Did not pack. Or finish most of what I set out to do. Hope today is more productive and has less eye gunk!

Pink Eye!

Never a dull moment here! I could not open J's eye this am, for his eyelashes were so tightly intertwined with GUNK. Vigamoxx, do your wonders please! Other children- do not get pink eye. Happy to add going to CVS (to get non-expired drops) to my list of things to do (sample- get new cell phone, pack, buy sun hats, pay bills, call to fight hospital bills, order car, do laundry etc etc).

Muggy as Molasses

The weather has been UNBEARABLE. The heat and humidity are killer. We opted out of Sesame Place because I thought the babies might melt. We had a nice picnic instead with NJ friends and we will go watch soccer at Tiemann later. So much to do in the next 72 hours!!

J The Jokester Strikes Again..

In the middle of lunch with my mother and stepfather, J put his hand on grandpa's arm and asked "Do you want to buy our car?" My mother said "Grandpa is cheap, he would never buy your car.: J- Okay, then do you want to buy it?
___
During lunch he was trying to take a picture with my phone and asked, "Where is the cheese?" (the button)
____
After lunch on the sidewalk he looked at them and asked, "Do you guys wear diapers?"

Why I Teach...

I had a couple of former students working at July Camp. I wrote to one of their mother's to tell her what a great job her daughter did. This is an excerpt from her answer:

I am very proud of her. Thank you for everything that you have done for her over the years...you have helped her understand the importance of community service and hard work. 


If I teach some kids about cs, or hard work- I am a happy camper!

Chapter II Done!

July Camp is done. Never ceases to amaze me how little some people want to work. Tant pis! It is hotter than hell. I think V is teething. A has abs of steel. She does serious crunches to sit up and I learned that she can flip back to belly now. Off to do more baths. F is back. Woo hoo! Two summer jobs down, one to go.

4 Little Monkeys

Sleeping on the bed. Okay, two are in the crib. F is in San Fran, it is hotter than hell in NYC and I thought it only humane to let MoJo sleep with air. Poor M was leaning on the crib (on wheels) as she slept and as I chatted with Ms T, we heard a thump. My largest monkey fell and could not get up from between the bed and crib. I tried to do damage control in the dark. Every time I asked her if she was okay, J would answer. I do not see any bumps, so I guess she is okay. How the hell will I sleep with so many children and visiting babies? We shall see. Tomorrow is the last day of camp, so anything is possible!

Recent Comments

J to his walking partner: If you squeeze my hand again, you will not be in my rock band.

---

J to me this am: When I have kids, I am not going to do anything to them. I will let them do what they want. 

M's response: Oh yeah? Then your kids will be fat and brats.

---

When J said you could not wait to be a grown up I told it him it would be really fast/soon. J: One. There. That was fast, I am not a grown up.

___

M to F who was frustrated with babies: You should never threaten a baby.

___

J on moving houses: When you move, you need to use your muscles at one point. It is not like a trip. You need to pack all of your stuff.

__

M melting down because J always finds coins on the sidewalk: Now I am just a girl who does not have any money. If you check my piggy bank, you will see that I have two pennies.

___

Later that am, still in her tragic Woody Allen mode, she was complaining non-stop about having to walk, how unfair that she could not go in a stroller. I told her that she could look forward to being old in a wheelchair with diapers. M: Yeah, but then I'll just die when I can enjoy that.

___

Dinner With JKT

Blast from the past. Dinner with my old friends and colleagues. We are all different now but still the same. Sometimes seeing old friends, even if they would not necessarily be your friends were you to meet them today, is really special and unique.

On My Feeding Sheet

M wrote under A's name... is pretty. Under V's...is awesome.

Yup

Bedtime was a dream and nighttime a nightmare. Each baby woke up 17 times. F came home at 9:20pm (I am loving this new job!) and is off to San Fran in the am through Fri pm. 3.5 more days of camp. More later.

Wish I Could

Write more, but I do not have my notes on me and I am too tired/lazy to go get them. Best bedtime ever. Boom boom boom boom (that is the sound of non-resistance and immediate sleep times four). Not a peep from AleVit. Scared for what lies ahead. That was too easy. On a funnier note, as I changed the Cubs (younger group) for the sprinklers, some camper called out to me "J's mom" (even though I taught this child and he knows my name). I said "I am not anybody's mom" and J laughed pointing to my belly "Oh. yeah? Then why do you have that fat belly from all of the babies you had?" What a (delinquent) lad.

Poop Expert

V has been trying to push it out all day. The color of his face and the screech as I placed him in the bath tub let me know that it was coming. Flipped the top of the garbage off and sat him on the side of it. 4 hefty turds (poor guy, soft poop was so much easier) came out. Victory. Flipped them into the toilet. Tummy un-blocked, poop disaster deflected. More later.

SUPER SUNDAY

Got up early and walked/jogged two 5 mile loops. F made bread from scratch. Picnicked with tía D and my two bros and the bambini. In the pm MoJo went to the pool with F. Tired. Nice, full day. Long week lies ahead. Notte.

Hippo Park

Went there today. Missed the good old days. But also noticed that 99% of the park was religious. Weird. MoJo played in the water. AleVit had their first swing rides. A keeps a finger in her mouth that makes her look like the bad guy in Austin Powers. Ate too much Indian. Might puke. Or just go to bed. Want to get up early to walk.

2/3

done with camp after today. relief. forgot the milk I pumped at school so AleVit will have to drink Corona instead today, it's the only other drink in abundance in the fridge. Refrigerator sounds like it is about to collapse- all I need! GE coming tomorrow to rip us off. F got home at 8:15 last night and was out for a work dinner the night before. Feeling like he will be around even less with his new job, but I hope I am wrong. Off to pump some dregs for bebés.

Comments

M asked me why I was wearing men's shorts (my pjs). I told her they were my grandfather's.
M- So you wear them so you can memorize him?
___
M asked me if William and Kate had servants. I said yes.
M- Do they demand them things?
Me- I do not think so, they are polite.
M- But they can demand. Why don't they demand?
__
J to his walking partner for the trip to the fire house:
I do not want to hold your hand, I just want to be independent with you.
__
M- A long time ago nobody littered. The street was sparkling clean.
J- Yeah, then someone said, "let's litter" and now everybody does.
__
J yesterday am- Do me teeth look good? I brushed before I saw you.

Off to a (cool) Bed!

moved the ac up here for the night. hoping we will all sleep better. had two prank calls in the middle of last night to add to the excitement. Camp was beyond hard today with lots of challenges including a camper going to the ER as a result of an injury that happened while I was in a meeting. Ouch. Responsibility is tough. Lovely smooth evening now that I have taken on tío D as my helper for now. He is great with kids and babies and I am lucky to have him. When I apologized to MoJo for losing my shit last night while AleVit went bonkers, J asked "Did you try chupete (I nodded)? Teta (pointing to his nipples)- Again affirmative. What about the dinosaur (their favorite toy). No, I admitted I had not. "Next time try that" he said very matter of factly. Later in the day at camp he said "remember the toy next time." Love that midget!

I CANNOT

unpost what I just posted. F tells me that my brother will get mad, that I am mean. Not sure about the former since he never reads my blog and yes to the latter, but who cares? I can be mean, what's more, I only insult myself in the post and who knows how many of you will read it and perhaps enjoy, my insanity. Maybe nobody will read it, and that is okay too, because I felt great writing it. And I have not felt great since the water in the glass bottle in my fridge exploded leaving shards of ice and glass everywhere, followed by detergent (Dreft no less- costs a fortune) spilling everywhere because there is some microscopic hole in the back, followed by the shitting in the tub when I was done bathing kids, preceded by A vomiting all over the stroller right after eating dinner tonight, which was preceded by AleVit screaming their heads off for about an hour, pre, during and post dinner while MoJo made non-stop demands. Yes, I need to take a chill pill. And get somebody, to help me during the evening. Learned today that F's new job is officially until 6pm, so he will NEVER be home to help me. I feel so much better now. Just to end with some levity, J is obsessed with what is "eagle and an eagle." Can you guess what he means? Here is sentence for context " Is it an eagle to litter?" How cute is his phonetic rendition of the legality of things?

GIVE ME A BREAK

Let me preface this post by telling you, that I am an ASSHOLE. I know this so you do not need to tell me, think it, or comment about it even (although all comments are welcome). I just woke up in the middle of a 30 Rock episode, as I tend to do these days. After having overeaten and not finished an episode I am usually grumpy, haul my ass up to the second floor that feels like an inferno (no ac), make a lames ass attempt to brush my teeth (no flossing sorry) and go to bed. I know regular adults do not go to sleep at 9:40pm, but I cannot get over this hump. It may be the excess sugar and dairy that I consume (think a week's worth per day), the babies that wake me up all night long, the tension of being responsible for 40 plus campers per day, I do not know. But I digress, I woke up in the middle of a 30 Rock episode, enlightened. I had laundry in the washer that had to be transferred to the dryer and I said "fuck that shit, like Twisted Sister, I am not going to take it anymore!" It is not my laundry, it is my brother's laundry. Yes, he is 32, on vacation, not handicap, and I do his laundry. WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with me? What killed me about today's load, is that I already did it, last night. It was a bag of wet, smelly, rotten clothes and despite the soak cycle, the almond soap, the lavender dryer sheets, it still stank post wash. I wrote him an email telling him to come get it because I can hardly move in my apt, there is so much crap... he came. I did not open at first because I was waist high in dinner, bath, bed, V, my 4th bather SHITTING in the bath as he came out (when there is crap in the tub, on the baby and on you, where the fuck do you wash the baby I ask). I incorrectly thought it was F, and thought USE YOUR KEYS. I was wrong, it was my brother, who to be fair was coming to get his crap. But he didn't. Because I, in the midst of solo tending to the demanding quartet, stopped, to REDO his laundry. I deserve a medal. And a monument. More on my horrendous day and adorable kids tomorrow.

No Inspiration

Seems to be going around.
Nice day.
Walk.
Picnic.
No gym:(
Costco.
Target.
Ate too much.
Notte,

Weekend

Nice to have one.
playground and pool.
tomorrow picnic and pool.
trying to dig out of the piles of laundry and objects (many from F's ex office).
Nice dinner at Celeste to celebrate new job.
Off to bed.
Need to walk a lot in the am.
Alone.
Training partner in London.
Notte.

5 MONTHS!

AleVit turns today. F's last day at his job. M said "I hope you go work for FAO Schwartz." When he told her where he was going she said, "that is not even a company." She later told someone her father works for "Mole Hole"- sounds kinky. One week down of camp, two to go. Chugging along. Happy weekend!

Off To Bed!

Hot as Hades in this room. F's penultimate day at his job and he started to fill our living room (help!) with the contents of his office (8 years worth of crap). Long, hard day at camp. Being in charge involves lots of BS, not sure that I am made for that. Nice to have sister on board at camp today. Nice to see both of my brothers today too. Great dinner with great friends. Not enough milk for tomorrow. Damn. Looking forward to that midnight pump. Notte.

Today's Lines

When I kept calling M over to put her shoes on so we could get out the door (first time listening is not her forte), she continued to play with V. She dramatically cried, "You are so stubborn, I was trying to help you and you act like I am scooping poop in your face."
__
M to F: Has A made hard poop yet? Once you go to hard poop, can you ever go back to soft?

___

As MoJo planned their (non-existent) trip to Disney, with tía C, J asked if he could buy ALL of the toys there. M said it was too much money. J said he would take them anyway. M said that if he stole he would go to prison. J said it was fine because you were not sent to your room or smacked on your culito there.
Hmm.

J's Dessert

Wish you could see him rock out to this!

Sweet & Nutty

is the name of the trail mix I got at Publix, and it is good yo yo! Waited forever for Thai food that never came, they are apparently more patriotic than I am. Had ravioli, not what I wanted. I have ZERO milk for tomorrow in the fridge (okay, one bottle that I just pumped) and I need at least another 3 bottles for tomorrow. I think I am going to fall majorly behind and I hardly have anything frozen, I already had to defrost one for V, who freaked the f out when I tried to nurse him (it's okay for him to wake me in the middle of the night to nurse but he wants a stream, like beer to chug, in the evenings) and the prominent veins that he has on the side of his head looked like they were going to burst. I need to go to bed. Not really tired. Miss Miami. Especially the cats. Just kidding. I really do not like animals. But I do miss my sister and VH and my father. Off to burp peanuts and think about mid-night lactating and pumping. Ugh.

Back In NYC

Starving. Waiting for my Thai food to arrive. Trip back was not as smooth as the trip down. J would not stop laying lethal farts (air is limited on the plane as you know) but refused to poop. He also refused to eat his sandwich, which he made me unwrap 4 times. Sandwiches de miga.. yummy! Thank you father & VH. WTF? We forgot the oreo cheesecake in MIA. I want to cry. How could we? Thank you for the two you made and for all of the help with kiddies Amu. My bug bites itch. Poor A projectile vomited as we landed and soaked herself, me, the seat. and J's arm (he was a brat about it). As we took off I heard M tell J, first there is heaven, then outer space, and then Jesus. Aiuto! I am starving. Tomorrow am is my first day as head of July camp. Hope I am ready and that we have fun!

Food Update

AleVit has been loving the food. We have carrots and sweet potato to add to the list. V Ma bis first turd! You may think that is tmi, but you are reading the blog of a half brain dead mother of four who is half brain dead so if you are not interested in poop, you should not be reading this yo yo. My father is insisting that I tell you all that M is a hall monitor, who told on him when he told J that he would make part of his dinner disappear if he ate some of his ravioli. M went running to tell F and my father was shocked at her tattle tell nature. She told him that she had to. My girl has a real sense of duty. Back to NYC demain.

The End of The Holiday

is around the corner. I have lots of bug bites, not a speck of sun, and some pounds to show for it. All of the children have behaved very well, but there is never a real break. I do not know why I do not know this. Unless I go away and leave them behind, I will not have a break. When I went to Paris and left two behind I did not enjoy the break, but rather missed them and counted the hours until I returned. I guess this is the irony for the next 1000 years until they are all in college. AleVit came out into Miami society yesterday with a 5 hour high tea organized by my father and executed by VH. I have tomorrow to mentally shift gears into camp mode, as I will have my first (short thankfully) day as director of July camp. Here we go some more!

M this Am

Who is the world thought up that our heart, means love?

M to J

You've got it all wrong. You cannot do whatever you want when you are a grown up. If you make bad decisions you are all alone. Like if you eat too much candy and you get fat or your teeth fall out, nobody will help you.

Weather Woes

It is raining on and off all day.
Every day.
But I got to go for another nice am walk with VH.
And we got to the beach this am.
With all the bambini.
AleVit slept while MoJo romped about.
Babies have now had semolina, orange squash and pears.
May the eating continue!