J The Delinquent

As I was talking to M two minutes ago, I felt I had plumber's butt and then it felt wet and J was laughing- he licked my butt!

When J asked me for cough drops today and I said no, he responded: Give them to me and don't mess with me!

A few days ago I asked him to do something and he said: I won't, have fun with that!

Who is this child and when will he be taken to JK jail?

Adiós 2011 Hello 2012

Happy new year to all! Stay tuned for more posts soon.

J The Family Tree Master

J-Do we know any people who are married with no kids?
Me- Yes (I give some examples).
J- What about abuela S?
Me- She has kids but they are grown up.
J- Where are they?
Me- Well, I am one of them.
J- (laughs). No, really, who are they?

Feliz Cumple Madre

aunque no leas nunca este blog..te deseo un muy feliz cumple. 65! Officially half priced para casi todo. Te felicito. Un beso grande.

J Lost a Tooth!

And he is not even five yet. He noticed it loose when he was eating an apple and then remained concerned about when it would fall out. He asked a few people "do you want to wait with me on the couch until it falls out?" After a two hour nap (weird) he had a piece of candy and out it came- a tiny tooth, a vestige of his babyhood. J dictated this note to the tooth fairy:

Dear Tooth Fairy,
Can I have money and candy? I hope you a good new year. Please don't take my tooth. J

J Last Night

Before there was water what did people do with glasses after they used them? Did they throw them out or recycle them?
__
J after makng a concoction of melted candy: I am like on Chopped, I am a chef, I do not try the food, just make it.

M The Fairy

Her great grandmother got her a fairy outfit with a wand and she proceeded to turn all of us into...
Me- a duchess
F- a chef
tío D- a beetle
tío G- a baseball player
Grandpa- a rotten egg and then a rock
tía C- a princess
E- a frog
A- a swan
V- a prince
abuela I - a basket of flowers
abuela S- a queen

Feliz Navidad

Me- Is it possible you pooped again?
M- With babies anything is possible!

We are about to sit down to Christmas dinner. All 11 of us (2 babies are asleep). We spent the majority of the day scrambling for last minute gifts and in the car. I look forward to doing nothing tomorrow. M is in her room putting on make up from her make up suitcase. F and J are playing some video game that involves movement, and I am recovering from a dance game during which I almost died. I also discovered that M dances like there is no tomorrow- she danced off against almost everyone in the family- non stop talent. Babies have been divine- calm and collaborative- off to dinner. I hope to film blog tomorrow. Felices Fiestas yo!

Vermont

You know those bus/vans that take tourists to the airport? Well, we got one of those suckers for our trip up to Vt. It was not intentional but they ran out of mini-vans. Why do mini when you can do mega? So we loaded the white truck with children and bags just like a good orthodox family and six hours later.. we got to Vt. There are lots of people here and we are not all even here yet. The uncles will be arriving later today and the mother in law is not coming this year. The house is old and awkward, I mean charming and delightful. Babies slept in separate pack and plays and went almost all night long. MoJo has their own room and fight non-stop. When we droev up there was zero snow on the ground and this morning everything is white and it is snowing as I write. There is no cell phone service but there is internet. There is coffee but no sugar. Okay, you get the picture. My goals of sleeping, blogging, reading, doing PT, walking in the snow...I realize these are ambitious. I will most likely do 10%, but I will take it.

36 Amore!

Happy Birthday to my partner in crime. Almost 16 years after getting together in Roma I can say "te llevo en el alma y cada día te quiero más!
J wrote ih his father's bday card:
Dear Papá,
I hope you like a card. It's your birthday so we gave you a birthday card so you can have a fun birthday. Happy Christmas and new year for the holiday past. I hope you have a good day when you go to Vermont and I hope we behave good. I have a surprise for you in Vt and it starts with a "t" (he is adamant about buying his father a tie). I wish you get some gold to pay for my robot.
I had to cut him off there because there was no moe room on the card. J signed the first three letter of his name and then M added the last ones in parentheses.

Manic Monday

After a late start to BT, I spent too long chatting, packing a donation at school. I learned the hard way that you cannot drink coffee and eat a bagel while in a cab late (ugh- had an unlimited too!) on the phone. Doctor did not tell me anything I did not know. Bussed it home to lunch with A (we miss you already!) and walked her up to the M60. Trained it to 34 St to discover, after meeting D, that the Toys R Us there (yes, I am a dumb ass heading to midtown a few days shy of xmas), that that TRU is a tiny useless store. So, we did what we had to do and went further into hell by going to the TRU in Times Square. After some success, we split up and I schlepped the booty home, hid it, pumped, and went to pick MoJo up. J was sleeping. Winter camp was a hit. Took midgets to see my kids at Street Squash and then came home for the usual rigamarole. Not exactly relaxing but somewhat efficient. Tomorrow is another day.

Today's Lines

M on the actress from the Goonies- Looks like  (abuela) I, with a little more attitude.
__
                                                                J- I need to poop now.

F- We are on our block, you can go at home.
J- I can just go in that garbage can.
__
M to J after declaring her "privilege" of chewing gum- I already had my lifetime of upa  (being carried). Now you can enjoy that and I can enjoy gum.

Updated Santa Letters

Just in case the first ones were not enough.
M came home with a large illustrated scroll- like list on which she wrote:

MEDF Wish List- alphabetical order:
18 amarican girl dolls
bowling aisle (plus 18 bowling balls)
car and licenses (when i asked about this one she said she was ok with not knowing how to drive and crashing but she just did not want to get tickets)
ecessories for hair
80 days worth of candy (in jar)
monster high doll

J:
Dear Santa,
For Christmas can I also get a robot that is R2D2 with a code that gives you whatever you want? And  I will tell you if your elves did a good job or a bad job. Have a good summer. I hope you have a summer. I hope your elves get some light to see in the room. I'll build a structure that they can go in while they are waiting that will have a flashlight for your elves.

Today's Banter

Me- How was the nutcracker?
M- It was terrifingly long.
__
J to M- Do you want to play prove or hurt?
M- He means truth or dare.
__
J- I do not like Freddy Mercury.
F- Why?
J -He smells.
F- How do you know?
J- I can smell it from the computer.

Pageant Day

While tableau style productions and the birth of Jesus ar not my thing, I do have a soft spot for my school's annual pageant, featuring over 300 children (two shows). M is a shepherd for her second and final year and J is a lamb for his second and final year. Traditions are wonderful and in 2.5 hours the 2011 portion of this school year will be over. Amen.
PS Not sure if I should be offended that my 3rd and 4th babies were not chosen to be baby Jesus. We have a younger, but much larger (think 30 lbs) Jesus instead.

MoJo Recent Comments

We were talking about our dentist and I told MoJo that abuela S does not like him (she had an incident with him from which she concluded that she hated him).
M- Dr. K is so nice.
J- Why don't we film him doing nice things so she can see that he is nice?
Me- That will not work He gave her medicine that hurt her stomach and she does not like him.
M- He is not a stomachist, he is a dentist.
____
J when I would not let him have candy but offered chocolate for dessert- All I worked for was chocolate? Really? I ate my dinner for nothing.
__
While fighting over a play date that J is going to have with a girl...
M- If they are going to disclude me I will not let them play with my toys. I am going to supervise you  from my bed (top bunk)
___
M tasted my coffee this am and said it was "delicious and healthy." J said (without trying it): Dirty dump! I call out the routines! (huh?)
__
As they ran down the hill to school (I brought them instead of F): Freedom from papi's rule!
__
M: Can I bring my make-up bag to Vermont?
Me: Yes.
M: Oh good, so I can give myself a make over in the car.
__
M on her magnatile structure: It is an animal motel with bathrooms and a wheelchair ramp for the raccoon.
__
M: I am having a rough day. I  am trying hard to be nice but it is hard.

Lunch Break

In one hour and 20 minutes I went from school to a despicable store on 49th and 5th avenue!!! to buy M's special xmas gift, up tp Tiemann to drop it off/fix tv for abuela I and back to school. Talk about kicking back at lunch. Last frenetic week before my much awaited three day break (mon dec 19-wed dec 21) senza bambini! Goal for then: gym, renew wardrobe, go to a museum, a movie, take a nap?! Off to teach my last period class and then tutor squared.

Am Banter

M to J-Do you want to be a spy? I am one so I can teach you.
Me- How do you know to be a spy?
M- G (her friend) taught me and her master taught her but he was a traitor so she lost some powers.

M to J - Remember what papi said about her birthday present? (to listen to me)
J- To listen to her? Well her birthday present is not going to come true.

Indian Wedding

Last night's event, complete with tía S and F trying to dress me at home (came out okay I think- former Pakistani Prime Minister Musharraf complimented my sari:)) followed by two Pakistani women re-wrapping me in the bathroom of the Crest Hollow Country Club...unforgettable. Have not danced with F since our wedding. Actually we did not even dance that much at our wedding. The dresses were all so beautiful, so many traditions and so much champagne. What do you get a woman with everything on her 36th birthday? An Indian/Pakistani wedding:)

Good bye 35!

11 minutes left to be this age.driving back from Indian wedding. It has been quite a year. 36 here I come. Ouch, now I am closer to forty than thirty.

BT Notes

Bt has a great system of writing notes about your children on an almost daily basis. These notes are written in a notebook that can go home (for the parents, or in this case me to write in) or stay at BT. These notes are entertaining, informative, and just delightful. Here is an example from A's 12/7 entry by Z:

Today in the teacher's lounge A was on a mission to get a spoon out of V's hand. I tried giving her a spoon of her own but that was not good enough, she wanted V's. Crazy enough, every time she succeeded, she was able to overpower V and snatch it our of his hand. V would let out a big scream at an attempt to snatch  it back but he could never get it out of her hand. When I would give V a different spoon he would be happy but then A would just drop the one in her hand and go for his. Siblings are CRAZY!


V's from the same day, also by Z:

Every time we go to the back lounge the first thing V looks for is the pretend plastic play spoon. He crawls around the entire area until he finds it and then once he finds it he puts it straight into his mouth. He spends the whole time in the lounge with the spoon either in his mouth or his hand. He uses it to suck on or bang on everything he can. The one thing he really likes to bang on with it is the piano. But every time he tries to use it to hit the piano I take it away and tell him to use his hand. He gets so upset when I take it away but not not even close to as upset when A takes it away.

Done

with all reports
all but one tutoring session
many gifts but many to go
relief! It is the weekend.
Woo hoo!

10 Months!

Crazy but true.
A has a push toy that she sprints across the living room with. If she falls she keeps pushing while on her knees. When V gets in her way to play with the front of the toy, she tries to run him down.
V can sit (woo hoo) although he still prefers the GI Joe crawl or the lying on his side like he is a bathing beauty position.
When side by side with chupetes in they like to take them out of each other's mouths and even did a switcharoo the other day.
My oh my, these babies are leaving babyhood behind. Only 2 more months, as in sixty days, of pumping. I might just burn that machine.

AAAHHHH

almost done with reports
got mini extension
worked every free minute but could not finish
saw part of J's last karate class after school
very cute in his uniform
trekked to UES in the rain to tutor
trekked further east and south to attend a panel discussion on diversity and community service
bla bla bla
cabbed home
pumped
shoved food in my mouth
missed kids
F not home still (work party)
off to bed
more news domani

Some MoJo Ideas

M to J about V- You are going to give him a bad in-flew-ence (stress on flew)
J- I do not even know what that means.
___

J- For Christmas I want a small safe that I can lock and then a big one that I can go into.
Me- We cannot get a safe that big.
J- No, not that big. Just big enough for the babies so we can put them in the safe.
Me- Put babies in the safe?
J- Yes, but with holes to breathe and robot hands that change their diapers while they are in there.

Countdown

Only 9 school days left. So many projects and reports to finish. Holiday parties to attend, gifts to buy, people to pay. When will there be a moment for air? Dec 19-21 MoJo will attend holiday camp while babies remain at BT and I will be wild and go see an exhibit or a movie and be alone (or with friends) for three days before the Vermont madness. I cannot wait. For now I am going to pump, go to the bank, enter report edits, teach second grade at 2:15, tutor at 3, run home, to Street Squash and then home.

Happy Birthday E!

I am late but it is still your birthday. Sorry for the delay. So nice to see you last week. I am enjoying your daily pictures. If anyone else wants to you can go to: http://eepsteinnn.tumblr.com/ for some real treats. Uh oh. You must be 16 because I am almost 36. Que los cumplas feliz. TQM!

MoJo Chatter

J to me- Are you going to die before us?
Me- Yes.
J- Will we know?
Me- Yes. I will be sick or very old so you will know.It will not be a surprise.
J- Oh, I will be sad.
M- Or someone can kill you. That would be a surprise too. Not like a good one.
___
J to me (he does not believe that I work); When you get a job can I go with your job? I just want to go with you.
_____
J to M (whispering his secret)- I am in love with girls.
M- Who?
J- With you.
___
M as every channel I flipped to had preachers this am- What is it Jesus's birthday already?
--
J- When I am injury can I have a stroller?
___
J to me, again re my job- You do not do anything, you are you.
--
J looking onto the horizon- I see the river in the future.
--
J- When I am rich and famous...what is famous?
Me- When everyone knows who you are because of your talent.
J. Oh. When I am rich and famous, I will have a butler.
__
J on the toilet- It is like fighting lava.
J as he tried harder to poop- If you do not push it out, it will slash you.

Sunday Peaceful Sunday

This past week was very long and arduous. I had to write the first draft of ALL of my reports (grades nursery through third grade) and prepare for a BT benefit on Sat night that sucked the life out of me. Today was a regular park, tutoring, hanging out day. The only annoying part of the day was that I went to bed at midnight and woke up at 4:30am! After an hour of tossing and turning I got up. So I am wiped. Stay tuned for some MoJo lines.

10 Seconds of Blogging

is all I got in me.
Phase I of reports done.
Wine & Cheese tomorrow. Need to do shopping and cook and go set up for it.
Bed, here I come.
Exhausted.

Decembrrrrrr

It sure is cold. How did it get to be December? How many times am I going to mention how fast time is flying by? I have many posts in mind but I am currently drowning in report writing and wine & cheese planning soon to be overtaken by exams/tutoring season. Let the classes floweth for I need the moolah to pay/thank/gift the plethora of people who make up our team of priceless teachers, helpers, family. Holiday shopping is so far away in my mind but the holidays are almost here. Looking forward to Vermont. To movies. To snow. I am done procrastinating, back to reports!

Teeth!

How did we not notice this? I casually stuck my fingers in A's mouth and discovered not one but two teeth! Bugs Bunny's big two bottom teeth are joined by medium top ones. The amount of teeth showing indicates that we missed this for a while. How can we live with her and not see her teeth? I guess it happens the same way that I noticed, just a couple of days ago, the little scrawny A is actually taller! than V. When does it all happen? On just over a week they will be ten months old and in two more blinks a year old. Whoa.

J The Hip Hopster

Today was J's last hip hop class and I got to watch the last ten minutes. While he was not wildly enthusiastic, he completed a whole routine and tried hard. My little hip hopster is growing up. M commented "they did a good job for their age." Oh so wise.

J the Pen Pal

This is the letter that he dictated to me for his friend who is on extended leave from school:

Dear C,
I wish you good luck at the country that you are in. I miss you C. I would like to know when we are going to have the sleepover. I hope the sleepover is soon. My birthday is between when you are coming back (Feb 28). I hope you make it to my birthday party. I think you missed out my hideout but I will show it to you when you come back. I have a present for you- here are the clues: it's something that is a toy and starts with "s" and it is very long and has a tail. I hope you come back soon. I wish you good luck. PS Try to guess what it is.
J

MoJo Lines

M to herself as she read- It would be a pleasure if they had page numbers.

M when I told her that we were going to the park- Finally, some free time with J!

J as we approached security at the museum- But I did not bring my gun.

J when I ignored his boo boo- People who do not care about children getting hurt are bad parents.

M when I told her we would not be having lunch with the friends that we went to the museum with- That is nonsense.

Quality Time

I got up very early and was no longer tired. I decided to come down and try to write in the baby journals and have some coffee. 1.5 minutes into my solo down time plan I heard A calling. I went up to get her out of the crib lest she wake another child. We cuddled, listened to music (she dances!), chatted (she babbles!) and had some am treats (coffee pour moi, cheerios and yogurt for her). One on one time is hard to come by in this household but always special. One hour into our project I hear another baby stirring. Off to get the chunkier monkey. Buona domenica!

MoJo's Letter to Santa

From J:

Dear Santa,

Can I have lots of wrestlers and remote control stuff with doors that open for my wrestlers and skate boards-for me and my wrestlers. Can you give me extra goodies like candy and toys that I like? Thank you. And I want to know if you are allergic to anything or if you have any pets and or can you go down the chimney with fire?

From M-

Dear Santa,

First of   all, I would like  it  if   you    stuffed       my     slippers    as     well     as     my       stockings. I   don’t   know   what   I   want   so   give     me   what     you      please.

The Sleepover Curse

J slept at abuela's house and is apparently sick with a fever. WTF? I had the good/bad idea of emptying a closet to see what I could throw away, recycle, donate. Now I am in chaos. F went to pick J up. M is giving herself a pedicure (she even separated her toes with toilet paper!) and after letting them cry for an hour, I took both babies out of the crib, sat on the floor, double nursed them (possibly for the last time ever) and was able to get up (no hands) put them in the crib and knock them out for a long awaited nap (go physical therapy- try to get up with no hands and two 18lbish babies hanging off of your chest). Off to clean/make more mess. Happy Saturday!
PS I watched A climb up the whole damn set of stairs from living room to upstairs- took under two minutes. V was crying on the bottom step, unable to go up even one step. This girl is fast! On Thursday she finally started "talking"- putting consonants and vowels together so as to avoid speech therapy!

Famiglia

We had Thanksgiving all  together today for the first time.  When I say all, I mean all. All of my siblings (the 7 of us had not been together since my wedding), parents and step-parents, my nucleus of six- tutti. The presentation of the meal was disorganized and lacked enough utensils etc but the food was good and we got many group shots in all sorts of permutations. The sorts of pictures where MoJo's kids will be looking at them in 30 years and ask "who was that again?" Kind of weird that every single man (spouse, sister's fiancé, both brothers, father, and stepfather) has a form of beard/moustache. Off to bed. Took the subway 9! times today, ate too much, saw a bad film (more on that later). Hasta mañana.
PS When counting the guests, M remarked that there were 16 of us (it was 18), 17 with the dog, and 18 with the turkey.

Food Chain!

This is part of the bounty my school collected for our annual Thanksgiving Food Chain. One of my favorite days of the year. Each child in the school lines up in age order (nursery sitting by the altar, followed by JK etc up into the lobby, up the street and into the church, where the 8th graders are) and passes along the food that we gathered for the local pantry and soup kitchen. After I got a Fresh Direct order delivered to school for MoJo's contribution M asked "Can we bring more? If were the people getting the food we would want us to bring more." So we did. More later!

Sleep!!!!

After many nights of torture- being sick always messes up all routines and progress for babies- there was SLEEP. I have been exhausted since last week/weekend, a sort of cumulative pile of rocks slowly being removed from me. Anyway, all you need to know is that they both went down at 5:45pm and I went to bed  at 11pm. I went to my old spot, near the wall, that traps me in and prohibits me from getting up easily (ie F was on duty). He said V did not make a peep until 5am (when I nursed him) and A cried for a few minutes twice and got up at 6:30am. Can I have a WOO WOO WOO HOO. If only we could make this routine. Babies, F and J are currently listening to Queen (not my favorite) on the bed. The crazy part is that A is rocking out, she is literally using her abs, neck, face, to feel the music and keep a beat. V learned a new trick yesterday too (F denies all of these because he never witnesses them). When L asks "Quién tiene hambre?" he raises his hand and makes a "yo" -like sound. Off to the food chain.

Still Wiped

I cannot motivate to blog.. the topics will continue to accumulate until I can focus.

Wiped

I feel like a truck hit me after last weekend. Only 1.5 more days of school until Thanksgiving break. Will blog when I can think. Babies came home in rubber underpants, we are not out of the shit woods yet!

Recent Banter

J- When you die, I will cry.
--
M- When I am old my butt will not be wrinkly because I will use special creams.
__
M on our apt/hospital- It smells like a farm in here.
__
J while we discussed food donations for our annual food chain.
Me- We need healthy foods.
J- Like sausage? Coffee?
__
When I told J to not push ahead of people (as he did it) while we were getting on the bus:
You mean because she is old?
__
As I began to ask J about why his teacher said he had misbehaved:
Skip that.
___
M: You have known me for a long time and you should know that I hate your comments after everything I say.

Survival

We are back. F is weak and A has diarrhea but other than that, I think we are on our road to normalcy. Babies slept NADA yesterday, so I was not surprised when they went to bed at 5:40pm. I was surprised, however, that we were still dealing with babies and bedtime at 8:15pm. Not as surprised and thrilled as when they were up BUSTING MY CHOPS from 1:50am until 4:10 am when F took over. V was the culprit, dedicated 100% to waking A up when he was not eating or crying or kicking the crib. J coughed all night. Let's just say that I am not well rested and that last night was not the night's sleep I was hoping for after my day as head nurse/entertainer. I look forward to the park and Costco today as the possible highlights of the weekend. Sad, I know.

J The Artist

F drew him the cop and motorcycle and J made this (in my opinion incredible) camel around it.
Then he showed me the camel's "contita."
Me- contita?
J- conchicha (more confidently)
Me- Oh, conchicha (word is "conchita")
J- He's a girl.

5 Min

may be all I have and in between folding three load of laundry that I know I will never put away, I thought I would blog for sanity's sake. Had to pick up M from her sleepover, where she puked at 3 am and at 6am. She had been awake since 3 am and is currently in her bed asleep with a garbage can next to her. F is dying in our bed with a garbage can next to him. AleVit asleep after a 1 hour smack down to get them to nap. Poor J, ill with only a cold and cough, had his plans canceled because 1. I cannot in good faith see anyone without warning them of our situation 2. I could not take him/pick him up from his movie plan anyway- it already felt very wrong to leave one baby and one child with F to go get M with V (man is he heavy!). Grandparents are both away, tío D asleep. Nobody should come here anyway I guess. This might be the only "break" of the day. I think I will take the younger 3 to the park later for some air. On the upside I do not have to prepare many meals because nobody can eat. On the downside, M is missing two birthday parties, all of our weekend plans are shot. How wise nature is to have let me be sick first so I can thoroughly enjoy the weekend with everyone else sick. AAAAHHH. I guess I will blog MoJo banter and about the service day at a later date. Need to make progress with laundry.

Back From The Dead

I was in agony yesterday with stomach cramps, nausea. Horrible. You really do not appreciate feeling well until you do not. I stuck it out at school (napping in bt classes in the nurse's office) and almost collapsed when I got home. Fatigue is rough. Especially when kids will not collaborate. Babies are still sick. They have been taking breaks but basically have vomiting or diarrhea every 24-36 hours since Monday. Good system since all schools/day care tell you to be vomit free for 24 hours before coming back. They are, and then they are not. After a night of fever and lots of bad sleep I am 90% better. Hope this bug does not strike the rest of the family but I fear it will. Stay tuned for news on the day of service at my school (my favorite) and recent MoJo banter (they are going to jail soon). Wash your hands and stay clear of this bug!

J's Dream

I had a dream that I was in a cartoon and I was whacking bad guys. V was my little captain and A was a judge. M was the assistant.

The Cherry

Just got home after triple tutoring. I waited for the M1 for so long that I thought I would walk (despite the rain) to the next bus stop. As I walked and talked on the phone a car splashed a huge puddle onto me. Head to toe. Into my mouth. Had not ever experienced that joy. Needless to say I walked and waited for over 20 minutes as the rain came down harder and harder. No FUCKING bus came (M1,2,3, or 4 could have passed) until the dreaded "next bus please" and then by the time I looked like a certifiable drowned rat, the bus came. I got to my third tutee late and she was even later. F texted me that he was running late as I tutored. Took a cab home, put MoJo to bed, he is still not home (8:19pm) and that is how I roll this week. Non-stop bullshit action sprinkled with moments of joy and love. Need to go shower, I am literally covered in dirty NYC water. When I came home to drop items off in between tutoring sessions I found V sitting (yahoo!) and A lying down, legs crossed, drinking a bottle. Who knew she could hold one? Off to bathe and pump and eat so I can go to sleep rinse and repeat.

Vomit Vomit

V puked his guts out on Mon night (I wore a dry river of crusted vomit on my neck all evening before realizing that that was where the smell was coming from). I did a no no and sent him to daycare on Tuesday and guess what? He was fine. He ate, slept, came home and did more of the same. This morning, I had wide open due to a field trip and I planned to finally get to a crap load of items that have been on my to do list for so long that I might as well call it my I will never do list. I turned the stroller seats to face each other and bundled AleVit in. I wondered why V was fussing as we waited for the elevator until SPLAT- he puked a liquid green vomit all over his stroller sleeping bag, his sister's (how nice that they were facing each other right?) and somehow all over the actual stroller (that is under the sleeping bag- seeped through seat belt hole?). Well, I spent the rest of the morning trying to figure out how to get coverage so that I could come to work. I came up with many complicated plans but luckily, in the end L came over. My screaming booger babies (they were literally bonkers non stop until she came at 10:30 minus their 28 minute nap) became smiley happy ones upon her arrival. I felt like I was their hostage (very hard to pee, type or call while holding two big cry babies) all morning, they literally would not let me put them down. Well, I am pumping, on my way to a triple tutoring (private- Street Squash-private). Never a dull moment yo yo.

Recent Comments

M on her new huge make up kit- It is not open to the public.

M on something that I did not allow her to do- I did not know it was abandoned (she meant banned).

J- When the babies are fifteen, can they go skydiving? (Turns to baby) I am not going, are you V? You are? But that is scary.

J to F- When you die will I be alive? (yes). Can I be buried next to you so we can stay together?

J to me- Can you be my math teacher and papi be my John Lemon teacher?

When I told J he needed a haircut- I do not want you to blazor my hair.

M to me- I do not want to bust your bonkers but...

(As we looked at art in a museum)

J- Was abuela S born in 1989?

Me- No.

J- Is papi from the 1600's?

J to F- I do not want you to clean my earwax. It helps the headphones stay in.

M when I turned off the taxi tv screen with the news ticker reading "grandma jailed after..."-
Now we will not be able to see her in the Big Apple Circus.

Me- We do not have tickets to that and it is not that grandma anyway.

M- Why do we need a ticket? Did we do something bad?

Trifecta

Well, what would you say if I told you that arriving to my own daughter's party late was not the worst thing that happened in the last 72 hours. I could be expansive and right you a short play about the last 72 hours, but I am currently gagging from the vomit I just cleaned up from the crib and poor V, who awoke 1.5 hours after bedtime covered in thick vomit. It looked like someone had splattered his baby food jar all over him. Well, Sunday was a real doozy. We planned to meet F's Italian relatives on the 2/3 platform at 34 St to go to the Brooklyn Museum. That would have been dandy if I had checked the damn MTA website. No 2/3 service on the weekend. After taking the same train that we took downtown UP and back, we proceeded to ride the colors of the rainbow to arrive, one hour and 40 minutes, yes the time that you can drive to another city in, to the exhibit. While it was lovely, you have to remember that each line change involves finding an elevator or hauling a humungous double stroller, babies in tow, up and down steps. Suffice it to say that we spent well over three hours on the train yesterday. This am, when I got to work I thought it strange to not have my daily love note on my desk, by where F leaves the pump. Guess what? I ran up to M's classroom thinking maybe he had left it there in a rush. At home? Nope, he took it to work! I spent another 1.5 hours on the train today to go retrieve this fucking artifact on 11th AVENUE and 25th St. No more mishaps. No more bullshit. BASTA. Off to watch a silly movie.

Star Hostess

Who is the hostess with the mostest? NOT me! I was convinced that M's party started at 12pm today. Beyond a reasonable doubt. Guess what? When I got there early, at 11:40am, I was actually dumb ass late because the party, both according to the bowling place and my evite, was at 11am. Some people ask me how I do it, keep up with all of the kids, schedules, activities. Well, here is your answer: like shit. I got to the party ready to cry, the alley full of mothers I do not care for, all of whom seemed happy to see me fuck up. I am thankful that C was there, the only one who was there, to help me with babies, kid and mother management. One mother told me she was scared to call me (ie thinks I am intimidating or a bitch) but also proceeded to tell me that she tried to start the party without me (or M). Isn't that sweet? Had she succeeded M would have missed half of her party and/or I would have been charged more for it. Guess I am not so intimidating. What a horrible mistake. What a long day. How does she do it some ask. Not very well, I say.

Happy Birthday M!

to my first baby love. 7 years ago today, you made me a proud mamma. who knew how big and beautiful you would be? 11/11/11 today. you got a dress down day and an all school 11 minute dance party at 11:11am. Rock on Mo-D!

Longer Fuller Day

Had school (weekly trip to nursing home included) plus filling in for a homeroom teacher at the end of the day. Took the bus with MoJo to the dr where M, and AleVit all had visits (L met me there with babies). Heard weird things from the dr (more on that later) and then met tía D who took MoJo to dinner while I went nearby to tutor (L brought babies home). Post tutoring we cabbed it home and I bathed them. Shortly thereafter F's cousin and aunt came over (fresh off the plane from Italia) and F came home to whip up a meal. Just finished baking brownies for M's class, putting up birthday signs, and wrapping gifts. It feels like only a few months ago that I was in this birthday crunch. Now M will be 7 (WTF?) and there is nothing I can do about it. I LOVE that girl. Her new nick name (coined by her teacher) is Mo-Dee.
PS V weighs 18 lbs 6 oz and A weighs 16lbs 10 oz. He has gained 11lbs and 5 oz since birth and she is catching up at a weight gain of 10lbs!

Long, Full Day

Woke up early with bebés as usual. Got the 4 kids ready for 7:30 (which always ends up being 7:40) departure. Walked to BT. Ran to 96 St subway, but not before stopping at Dunkin' Donuts for some am grub. Ran down subway steps just as number 1 was pulling out and number 2 in. I knew I had to get tot he end of that platform (ie 94 St) fast so as to catch F who had my lunchbox with baby milk (forgotten at school and picked up by him when he took MoJo to school). In a split second I spotted his disappointed expression, sure that I had made him miss his train. Grabbed milk and gave him breakfast. Back to BT. Nursed A, left milk, went to work. Taught 5 classes, went to tutor on the UWS, rushed into toy store to buy M a bday gift. Took train home, dropped off items, made some food for kids, ran to Street Squash Short session is better than one right? Helped kids get polynomial division and multiplication as I re-grasped these old skills. Hopped on train to Chelsea to attend (for 10 minutes)a Moleskine event with F. Met T&M there, came back up for yummy dinner. Saw MoJo for dessert and bedtime, missed AleVit:( Never miss their bedtime. Ate too much. Pumping now, off to bed. Notte.

J's Recent Comments

As I pumped- The pump sounds like it is saying how do I look? How do I look? How do I look?

As we dressed for the marathon- You sure stink, Francesco!

Random- Only kids get diarrhea.

Looking longingly at a bottle- On a lucky day can I drink gatorade?

Looking grossed out at a baby bottle- Your milk looks like dirty sink water.

Showing his friends my marathon medal with engraved skyline- First she went to Brooklyn, then to Mexico...

Happy 9 Months!

9 in and now 9 out.
Where has the time gone?
Thank you V for sleeping last night (not the case pre or post marathon).
V is strong as an ox but still cannot sit or crawl properly (??) and A is going to be on the baby gymnastics team.
They both eat their weight in food every night and they both behaved perfectly in their stroller for HOURS on Sunday so their parents could marathon.
V says "bye bye" and waves, as well as hola, mama, dada and nene. A has nothing to say (yet).
I love you AleVit. Do not grow too fast please.

Marathon Report

I ambitiously thought I could write about it on Sunday, then Monday came and went, and here we are a full 2 days post marathon. It was amazing. Much better than I could have imagined. New Yorkers rule as marathon spectators. I literally interacted with hundreds of people who were cheering, dancing, holding up signs, and yelling my name (it is really clutch to write your name on your shirt to get the extra boost). My mother felt very ill but was wonderful and made it all 26.2 miles without ever having walked more than 14 before Sunday. Incredible. We got along wonderfully (not always the case on our training walks) and enjoyed all of the boroughs (Brooklyn especially). We had support in Bklyn, on first ave, and family thar came to the bronx to walk us back into Manhattan. More family in Harlem. As dark and cold set in at 5pm, we were lucky enough to have our spouses walk many miles with us before we turned into the park for the glorious finish line. The announcer, bleachers, and large screen were all still there, even 7 hours and 11 minutes after we started. The day was long (we met at 6 am and finished past 6pm) but indelible. Thank you to all of those who cared for my kids so I could do this. Congratulations to my brother (4 hours 5 minutes) and spouse (3 hours 49 minutes) who also rocked the marathon. I hope I can do it again. Everyone should do it at least once. Even if you walk it, for a charity. Incredible.

THANK YOU

to all of my family (from NYC, MIA, and PA) and to T&M, K&R (Brooklyn in the house!) as well as tías D and S who came out to show love. I am real real tired now and ate too much Indian and need to keep pumping milk but want to sleep. Will write more on the marathon extravaganza tomorrow. Glad that is done! Good job Mamá!

T'was The Night Before The Marathon...

Jitters have turned into "let's do it now!"- this used to happen to me before finals as well. I just want to get it over with at this point. Nice dinner with most of the family (my partner stayed home but we will have plenty of time together tomorrow!), all of our clothes laid out, instructions for the many children written, milk pumped. One of my only doubts is "what happens if I have too much milk?" When I ran in 2007 I was nursing J and he was about the same age but 1. I was only nursing one, 2. I ran it so my body was much more taxed and focused 3. I was out of the house for 4-5 hours less than I will be tomorrow. We are waking up at 5 (thank goodness for time change), leaving at 6 and catching a 6:12 subway to meet abuela at 96 St, shoot down to South Ferry and catch the 7:15am ferry. Too bad I will not start the actual race until 10:40am (maybe not even cross the start line until 11am?). One other potential downfall is having to finish in the dark. I mean, I am definitely finishing in the dark (sun sets at 4:42pm) but will there even be any cheerers around in the cold dark? Okay, no more doubts. Off to sleep, if I can, if the babies let me (A took almost 3 hours to fall asleep). I will have a report tomorrow night. If you want to track me, go to the ING NYC website- my bib is 66-762 (there are over 66,000 people lining up before me??). Here we come!

J Ce Soir

I wish my parents were blind so I could help them.

When I asked J why the hell there were carrot shreds all over the table and rug- I was banging it to get the bark off.

Marathon Countdown

in 48 hours I will be hauling ass in Brooklyn. I will have survived the night and morning leading up to the marathon (V woke up at 4:40 and A at 5:30- earlier and earlier) and I will be anxiously looking for familiar faces in the crowds. I do not know if I will walk/crawl the whole race with my mother or jog/walk on my own. I do not know if anybody will be at the finish line, at that point most people will be having dinner after all. I do know that I am lucky as hell to have a coveted spot in the race, to have raised almost 3K for Team For Kids (THANK YOU to all of you who donated any amount), to have full use of my body (4 babies and two back surgeries in 7 years could have taken its toll), and to have both the emotional and physical support of so many friends and family. I could not do it without you. NYC, here I come. I love you NYC Marathon. Let's do it!

PS Is it bad that my big toe is almost sticking out of my sneakers? WTF? I have the same problem with all of my socks.. big toe breaks out. Oh well, a little late to break a new pair in.

This Week

has included a night of Halloween, a baby revolution (they switched their bed time from 6:30pm tp 8:30pm), 5 in school celebrations of día de los muertos (me dragging my blender to school to make Mexican hot chocolate, running to bakery for special bread etc) hosted by moi, collecting several hundred Truck or Treat boxes for City Harvest (little paper piggy banks with which kids collect money while trick or treating), and oh yes, remembering that I have the marathon on Sunday. Went to the expo today with MoJo and felt sad that I am not running, that I am unsure how committed my partner is, that we did not train more. Well, at least once I finish that little 13 hour project (7:15am ferry to Staten Island Sun am for a 10:40 am start!) I can come home to babies who will be confused about the time, go to sleep, nurse, rinse repeat. Okay, I can do this. And if I can do this, then I can do almost anything (I think). Off to sleep. I hope.

Happy Birthday H!

Jew may be little but you ain't that little no more yo yo.
Happy Happy birthday.
Qué los cumplas feliz:)

Today's Banter

M to Me- I do not think there is such thing as babies misbehaving.

J as we "read" his Curious George dictionary: Fart and female start with F, (at a picture of a bus): busted bus

M about a Narnia (confirmation) class: You need to be Russian to be in that class.
Me- No, you need to be Catholic.
M- I know, my teacher told me you need to be Russian Catholic.

J to his teacher asking him to identify a 10: A one and a zero
Teacher: Good, do you know what that is called?
J (irritated): Yeah, a one and a zero, that is what it is called.

Some Lines From Today...

Me to J- Who?
J- The kid with the brown eyebrows.
Me- Who is that? Anything else you can tell me about him?
J- No.
__
M- I like traditional traditions like going to Vermont every year.
__

J on his next bday-  I want bolleyball guys on the cake

Crappy Halloween

I mean Happy Halloween! Who is the genius who allows this to fall on a Monday? I have been celebrating this I do not know what the hell I am celebrating for over a week now. At least we can appreciate the effects of sugar on our students and own children for the rest of the school week. Ugh. Well, I did have four cute pirates and two scored lots of candy (the other two just got milk). I can send pictures per your request. For now I am signing off and grateful that this is semi over until next year. Oh yeah, I need to celebrate día de los muertos for the next two days at school, so this is never over!

Blue Hill- The Feast of a Lifetime!

A meal at Blue Hill at Stone Barns involves a 2.5-3 hour feast for the palate as well as all of the other senses. All of the food is from their farm as well as other local farms, with an emphasis on sustainability and local (Hudson Valley) food. The most unique aspect of a meal at Blue Hill is that you can never have the same meal twice, nor did anyone in the restaurant on Friday night, eat exactly what we ate. You let your server know if there is any food you do not eat (I am a ovo-lacto pescatarian and F does not do organs) and sit back as the flurry of delicious arrives. The only decision you need to make (other than wine) is how many courses you would like to have. The choices are 5, 8, and (a new!) 12. We opted for 8 courses (6 savory and 2 sweet) like the other two times we were there. You will be neither hungry nor "full" (I hate this expression) but feel just complete- as your body enjoys being satiated with delectable yet simple and fresh food. While their wine selection is impressive, we left the choosing to the sommelier (we were super lucky to have received a bottle as a gift!) and opted out of the wine pairing, amazing but costly and drunk -inducing. Believe me, you want to be sober to fully bask in the delicious experience. Our feast included (I am surely forgetting details but you will get the gist):
**Crudités and a V9 juice- A delightful wooden tray with little spikes upon which there perched were several mini raw vegetables. They had nothing or just salt or lemon on them, but eating this mini produce feels like a great way to whet your appetite and begin to taste food for the first time. The mini smoothie was comprised of 9 ( I guess) veggies. Note that the very small portions as well as the ingenious simple vessels in which the food is presented is part of the charm.
**Mini Tomato Burger- This adorable treat was the size of a quarter and had some goat cheese on it, but its flavor was so rich and delicious that you kind of wanted a regular sized one but also felt like you had eaten a larger one because it was so flavorful.
**Trio of kale chips, red potato chips, and white bean tempura- these were on a tree like structure- just two of each but full of flavor and a touch of grease (yum and almost totally absent in any BH dish0
** Tempura Squash- simple and flavorful (F's had bacon in it too)
**Mini mini radish in a shot glass with a buttery (think pinky nail amount) sauce placed in a bowl of dirt (again, simple but genius presentation) for me and two mini slices of charcuterie for F (pistachio something?)
**Smoked tomato soup that was poured on the spot into a bowl with mushrooms, that acted as a sort of barrier so that not the whole bowl was full. There was some caviar in this which was not interesting to me.
**Seared wahu (fish) with a cauliflower cream. This did not appeal to me visually (looked like raw fish) but was so damn delicious- three small melt in your mouth rich pieces of fish.
**Bowl with mushrooms (mushrooms and tomatoes were clearly the theme) with a lettuce foam (weird but good) and an egg that looked hard boiled but was in batter and actually poached when you sliced into it. How do they think of these flavor combinations?
**Purple potato gnocchi- soft and saporous
**Scone (not sweet made of some grain I cannot remember) with a swiss chard marmalade and a bowl of warm, scrumptious ricotta (apparently this is when cows fatten up for the winter and make their yummiest milk)
**Lobster with ?? I cannot remember (me) and lamb and pork cheek F
**Bamango sorbet (this fruit has another name, it is tropical-like but local and spoils easily so not popular but creamy like a banana) with chocolate cookie (tiny but rich) and chocolate covered hazelnuts
**Pastry filled with a creamy honey on warm pears and some grape thing (this was the only part I did not love). The pastry was the most perfect one I ever tasted- crunchy bottom and fluffy top while crispy and creamy and puffy. Whoa!
**Plate of fruit with some chocolate something
Are you hungry? Do you get the picture?
The service is impeccable and almost eerie in its precision (we were very entertained in watching the synchronized choreography involved in serving of a table of six nearby) and the food is the most flavorful you could imagine. You actually cannot imagine it, you need to save up and go!

I Found This in M's Backpack

Dear Mary Pope Osborne (the author of the series she is reading- she is on book 26!),
I M D. (she wrote her name and just her initial) wait stop right there. You are gonna be weirded out but I want you to stop writing your books. P.S. I mean the Magic Tree House Books. signed your friend and fan. PPS Please write back to me

When I asked her why she wanted to her stop, she told me she wanted to catch up (there are 46 of them) before the author continued writing. I wonder if Mary will listen.

In One of My Cards

F included an Apache blessing. It reads:

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all of the years. May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth.

Perfect 15 Hours

Last night F and I dressed up and headed out to Blue Hill. This place is AMAZING and everyone should eat there once before dying. Tía D was kind enough to stay with the crazy babies (they now stand in the crib and laugh, A raspberrying me to boot) while MoJo went to Tiemann. Tía C relieved Tía D later in the night while we were in for the meal of a lifetime. Not only was the meal incredible (I will do a play by play of that tomorrow), but our dear friends bought us a bottle of wine (surprise!) as an anniversary gift. Abuela S gave us cash as well helping to defray the amazing meal followed by a lovely stay at an Inn on a huge estate in Tarrytown. The meal was punctuated by beautiful cards (and gifts) from F, who does not understand the concept of saving money, skipping fancy gifts etc. We got to the inn late, pleasantly satisfied from the delicious wine and incredible food. We slept with no children nearby (M told my mother "finally my parents can have a night alone!") and even though I woke up really early (and had to pump or die), I went back to sleep and woke up at 8:51am! This time is like saying 2pm for normal people. Amazing. We were only gone for 15 hours, but it was an amazing parenthesis to our fast paced life. I am very grateful to all of the people who helped make this break possible and even more indebted to the forces that brought F and I together. Thank you Sam I am. Ti amo!

You Name It, We Got It

said the bus driver as I got on with A in a carrier, the two of us looking like drowned rats after waiting for the M4 for a while. It rained and snowed A LOT today. It was also thundering as I got soaked in snow. Hmm. Very weird for October. J referred to the babies as "monster twin babies" today. When M bragged that she was going to the Nutcracker without him for her birthday he retorted "Oh yeah? I am going to the Buttcracker." He is funny. And this weather feels like we are all in the butt cracker. Let's cross our fingers for marathon Sunday...a mere hours away, as I poop my pants thinking about it!

MoJo Quotations From This Week

As M explained the world map on her placemat to J, J inquired: Where is hippo Park?

M on her last sleepover at her best friend's house: It was extraordinary and awful

M when I asked her how she knew that Mt Everest was in Nepal: It is from research stored in my brain.

When I glanced at J on the bus and told him how grown up he looked: Do I have grey hair like you?

J to F: If you knew you were going to get married why didn't you save your HeMan Castle for me?

Me to M: Why are you talking like that?
M to Me: It is one of the many voices I have.

M to J In The Shower...

(As they sat together on the floor in my shower.. they do not usually bathe together anymore): For this program you need to sit. It is a foot massage not a toe massage.

X

Happy 10th Anniversary!
To celebrate, tomorrow we are having dinner in the country and sleeping there.

M commented: You are sleeping at a hotel so you can smoosh all night and forget you have kids.

My mother's happy anniversary email this am reads:
Look at the mess you organized for yourselves in 10 years!! A HUGE FAMILY (Ha!).

Take it easy and celebrate tomorrow, as planned.
A hug, Mom/S

Have a great day and see if you can hang in there for 10 more F!

A Game

The are many days that do not feel smooth, that do not flow. Today was a great day for no particular reason. All of the kids are behaving, both at home and at school. M is obsessed with the Magic Tree House Series and devouring one to two books a day! J wants M to tell him about the "silver war." M and J made sure to tell everyone at school about the mouse incident. A and V ate so much at dinner that I thought they might explode. Babies have also been doing well. V might be slow on the physical front (still no signs of sitting and he hardly does any real crawling) but he might be a linguistic genius. He randomly says words and no, I am not hallucinating. L told me that as they entered our building today, V said "hola" to a much surprised neighbor. I have witnessed him say is word one other time as an echo to J saying it. I am tired and Fresh Direct is almost an hour late. Aaaah

Mouse!

Holy shit am I terrified of them. M came screaming up (but did not wake up babies thankfully) that there were two mice by the fridge. FUUUUUCK. I sent the bravest person home (yes, it was J, a 4 year old but the tallest man available) to go peek and tell me what the mice were doing. Good news was that there was one mouse and another was a lint ball that the mouse kicked out from under the fridge. He was on his side and dying (I guess) but petrifying all the same. That breathing, the tail, why can't I just have roaches like the good old days? With coaching from tía D who I was on the phone with, I lowered a tupper ware onto him as I freaked the fuck out. J said the mouse looked like a teenager. M said "this is why I want to move to another country." I said "now we know who ate our cookies for Italia." J said it was probably his cousins. He is now in the bathroom musing: Mouses are creatures. They are made to be disgusting. You do not need to kill them.
Holy shit are they gross. I could not think of anything more repulsive now that we have not one, but two babies crawling on the floor. Ugh.

The Perfect Drop Off

You can only truly appreciate this if you know the layout of BT. A was falling asleep as we approached day care this am. I learned that even if it is for 5 minutes, if they sleep on their way to BT they will skip their am nap. Determined to continue the nap, I asked lovely TR (toddler room) teacher J if I could pass V to her through the side door so as to carry A in asleep. She gave me an even better idea and said "Why don't you walk straight into the sleep room (which connects the TR room to the BR). I went in, they closed the door behind me. Pitch black, no wonder they sleep so much in there! I put A down and came out the other way into the BR, where they wondered why the hell I was coming in that way and where the babies were. She slept for over an hour and a half I hear. Boom! What a smooth choreography.

M The Author

M recently visited the farmer's market and came back with a pamphlet about farming and sustainability etc. Here is her own:
cover: drawing of some animale and people with recycle sign
chapter 1 lovers: A.D. (she wrote their names plus the "D"); recycleing is good. M.D. I love recycleing
V.D. re-recycle J.D.re-ducere-use-recycle
next page: big arrow drawing and it reads; check for (that) simbole
chapter 2: sybols (symbols?) and there are drawings of many- one says wine
chapter 3: how to recycle earth 1. colect plats and weeds 2. use weeds to sew paper 3. show an adult
chapter 4: epologe (wtf?) all about the auther auther: MD Facts: brown hair brown eyes peach skin (sassy/sexy)

AAAHHHH

TGIF

Was in school until 9pm last night (open house). Babies sleeping like crappola all week. Ate piles of chocolate and sugar for dinner (hmm maybe not a great idea). I do have to do one more very long walk this weekend for sanity's sake. The marathon is in 15 days. AAAAHHHHH.

Crib Wars

Now that these puppies can move, it is like WW Wrestling in the crib. V's signature move is to wait for A to be almost asleep (or fully out) and to yank her chupete out of her mouth. For extra giggles he bangs it on the side of the crib and then launches it out. A's move it to climb onto her brother, to sit up, or just stand, as in to protest bed time. They were in bed at 6:30pm and she did not go to sleep until 8:30 pm! I was listening to her playing, crying etc on the baby monitor and then we heard.... music and her giggle. The music is from the mobile on V's side. I went up and she was sitting on him (he stayed asleep) and enjoying her trip to his side and her ability to turn a toy on. If I could I would split them up, but they are going to have to work it our for another year or so.

Todays' Comments

J- Why do I need to go to school? Why can't parents teach kids?
Me- Well, they do and they can but you cannot learn anything from your parents and you need to see friends and there are some things I could not teach you, like math.
J- Yes you can. Remember? Cinco? Seis?
__
J Can I have my birthday on an airplane? I want two parts, one on a plane and one Chuck and Cheese but not at Chuck and Cheese's.
___
M to me as she read her book- Why don't you know anything about Ancient China?
__
M- When I am grown up I want to be just like you. I want to teach Spanish and have four kids and name them M, J, A, and V. But I  do not want my kids to be rude to me like we are to you.

This Am

As I dressed J for picture day - Why do I have to dress gelegant?
___
M to me- You are so nice to J and to my friends but you are a witch to me.
_
M on babies- I wish they could stay babies forever.

J to M

Can you surprise me on my birthday and tell me right when it is my birthday? I will ask you like a thousand times if it is my birthday and you will say no and I will be like "aww" and then one day you will tell me "yes!"

Some Lines From This Week...

J- I like to play with my hair. I like to twizzle it up.
__
M (in a fit)- All of a sudden J is the favorite one. Why don't why make him number one?
__
M (in another meltdown against her friend)- I had a lot of patience and you used it up! There is a line and you crossed it. Now get out of my house! (nice huh?)
_
M (at dinner). I do not like peas. It is a classic mamá- kids do not like peas.

V Takes Charge!

Maybe he heard M say this morning "she does the rockin' and he does the talkin'" or maybe he has been reading my blog, but V has decided in the last 48 hours, that he too can move it move it. His drag crawl is super speedy and he is playing with the downward dog poses that A toyed with a few weeks ago. In addition, Fatty Bombatty also pulled up to stand by the mini rocking chair. Holy cow am I screwed with two mobile monsters! Go V go, burn some calories!

Chapel

Is a daily event at my school. While I am not a big fan of the religious element, it is nice to have a quiet special place where all of the students gather every day. Yesterday it was my turn to run chapel, and as usual, I chose to showcase a grades work rather than give a talk. I was so proud of my second graders! They all read their three sentences and did beautifully. Today, M's teacher had chapel and she chose to have the children act out a Leo Leonni book, Swimmy. Nobody had lines, but M was proud to dress up and hold up her painting when the time came. There is something special about that space and rituals, and traditions!

J

Me- Why do you come to my bed every night?
J-I get bored and a little bit worried that M is going to be in your bed.
__

J asked me to help him do math with this toy today (not this one but one like it). How smart I thought!

Anxiety

Is what V had been diagnosed with. Apparently separation, stranger anxiety set in at this age (not for A though). He has been torturing us for many nights, waking up PISSED off and last night even refusing to go to sleep for the first time in a long time. His teeth are clearly bothering him as well as he is constantly sucking on his hand and pulling on his ear. AleVit went to the doctor to get their flu shots today (weighing in at 17 lbs 8 oz him, 15 lbs 1oz her) and the doctor suggested that I give him some tylenol or something to help with the tooth pain and to restart ferberizing from scratch (what F has been saying and I have been resisting). Well, I gave him the tylenol once he was in the crib because I had forgotten, he rollled over, and went to sleep. How comical. A has been fussing (why not?) and I can only hope that they surprise me (in a good way) and sleep all the friggin' night through, just like 8 month olds can!
PS They had eggs and cheese (one scrambled egg with mozzarella) for dinner- two firsts. They liked!

Here We Go Again

Monster Baby is back. V crying angrily for over an hour now. Is it too much to ask to sleep? I got a solid 5 hours last night thanks to his hiatus from monster status last night and now, after my 18 mile walk and a long week, it looks like we are just in for crying. No fever. Clean diaper. Fed. What????

8 Months!

Today. Whoa. Time sure flies when you are wrangling children at home and at work. A is out of control in her mobility, dexterity, and confidence. I watched her crawl up to our little rocking chair, hold onto it to stand, lift herself to kneel on it, rock, try to stand on the chair, change her mind, and end up sitting in it properly. V is all about the fast drag "crawl" and the rolling. Today we saw another (bad) film at the NYFF and we had the kids be cared for by gender rather than age. J was super excited to go off with V and Z (from BT) and M and A ventured off with tía D (thank you!). I walked/jogged 18 miles solo before the brunch and movie and I am sooo happy to have nothing else to do today. Stop growing babies, no rush for you to walk A (she is side cruising already) or to talk too much V:)

J Today

Me- Why is there a mess of shirts on your bed?
J - I was looking for an appropriate rock shirt
__
Me- Why do you come to our bed every night?
J- It is too much boring on my bed. Yours is funner.

MoJo Quotations From This Week

M- You made me because of your first kiss.
__
M about J- He is having a dramatery moment!
__
J on mosquitos- They are taking their time to leave so they take some blood while they can.
__
J- We start behaving in the fall. I can't be good when there is too much sunlight in my face, it makes me think of bad things
_
J on the subway out of the blue- Did Guns 'N Roses die?
No, they are just old.
J- Like old men?
No, just not young anymore.
J- So are they teenagers?
Proceeds with "take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.."
__
J as a group of Hasidic men walked by - Hey, those are guitar players! (not sure what the hell he was talking about).

Too Many Ideas, Not Enough Time

I have about half a dozen posts I would like to write for this blog and the film one, but as it is, I barely have enough time to bathe, much less reflect. I am constantly rushing and stressing on and off. I look at my relationship with the damn breast pump as a symbol of my current schedule. I am always behind, hooking myself up to it. I hate but I need it. There is never enough milk or maybe there is but I do not have the patience or time to let it be pumped out. Last night's outing to my second torturous film at the NYFF was the cake, V screaming on and off ALL NIGHT LONG was the icing. What the hell is wrong with this baby, who turns into monster baby at night? While I do not want there to be something wrong with him, I hope there is a brewing ear infection or something to explain why he no longer sleeps at night. I have another movie tonight and I need to go walk at 5:45am at the latest in order to get the miles in before brunch before a 12:30pm festival screening... you can see why I am pressed for time. Some of it is my own doing and some of it inevitable. I am happy that Monday is a holiday!

Tía C Is Going To The Chapel...

and she's gonna get married!
Here's to a long and adventurous engagement and to a very long and joyous marriage!
Congratulations to the future groom and bride!

PS Not sure about the chapel part. Beach? Temple? Restaurant?

M's Email (she called "text") to T- spacing and all

i      hope       you          stay             until       november       11th.                                          so        we        can       celabrate.

p.s.         answer       with    a      stunning       surpise!!!!!!!

p.p.s.the           prize            is    $    50.

Baby Update

I am having two more. Just kidding. Really. A is standing like a pro. She pulls up anywhere. The only problem is that she has no idea what to do or how to get down. V is talking! For real. In addition to "mamma" and "dada", which he seems to use appropriately, he has said (I have a witness!) "la teta" on two different occasions while nursing. Note the use of the right article. Could this be a fluke? Probably. I mean I do not talk about my breasts to him or label them as I feed, but the boy can chatter. He had a 15 minute monologue at 5:30am today when he decided that he was done sleeping and ready to chat. He does some serious commando "crawling" but does not crawl. With their combined skills and lack thereof, AleVit makes for a solid able baby team.

The Rhythm, the Groove, the je ne sais quoi

Was missing last week but I feel like I am emerging from the funk. Sure, I am still sleep deprived, a bit overbooked, and in a two bedroom, but I am looking at the glass very full, whereas last week there was shit (literally) overflowing from it. The smartboard has been working, the students have been learning, MoJo has been in a great mood. We did spend money on a bad, long film on Monday that made us get to bed way too late, but... we have three more films this week, so there is hope. I have Street Squash every Wednesday and a nursing home trip every Thurs am with a homeroom that gets to skip eucharist, so I am grateful for this regular, built in community service. In addition, I have one fourth grade homeroom for cs class, every Friday afternoon, so we are busy! The high note for this group for me, was a couple of weeks ago at he nursing home. We had split into two groups and I had one downstairs exercising with the seniors and the homeroom teacher was upstairs with more kids. When I went to get her to tell her we had to leave, I witnessed one of my former Spanish students (not a particularly vocal or confident one) reading the horoscope to a bunch of Hispanic old ladies. How friggin' sweet is that? It was like the pinnacle of satisfaction for me.

Today

When I told M she could not do Daisy Scouts she complained: "I have such a straight life. It is always the same thing every day. Go to school. Take a bath. I always know the future. It is so predictable."
--
When I asked J how he was so cute and funny: "I learned watching people."

I Forgot..

M- What is your chin for? (not sure)
--
J - I wish we lived n candy land. Then I could eat the garbage.
__
J on his flu shot bandaid: First mostable it hurts to rip it off and secondable it is not comfortable in hot water.

Standing!

A  can pull up to standing! Crazy but true. I put her down on the bath mat while I turned to grab the baby tub and when I turned around she was holding the tub and standing!

M

Some Banter

J - When babies are crying, they are trying to talk to you. So why put chupetes in and try to stop them?


M while we shopped online for costumes- They have a technique that always fail with you.
Me- What is that?
M- That if we ask you a lot for something you will buy it.

J when I showed him a costume for F- That is awkward.
Me- Why?
J- It is for a boy but a man is in it.

This Takes It

As the worst fucking week in a long time. Let's just say that almost killing myself on a pile of shit on Monday was one of the better parts. I will spare you. I did not post because I was too tired and/or grumpy and then the days slipped away. Just like when you get out of your gym routine. Not sure I should even say that word I have not been there in so long. I just cleaned up a LAKE of milk, the third consecutive night of spilling. Let's just hope that the shit and the milk were the bookends and that we are now closed with the extremely challenging and frustrating week. On a more upbeat note, I am walking a half marathon tomorrow, most likely in the rain. Kid quotations coming soon.

J This Am

J to V: You look fantastic, you look just the same, as yesterday.

J to me: You do not let the fierce out when you get angry. (I am pretty f%^&%^&g nuts when I am mad, happy he sees it as not fierce:)

J to me when V grabbed a note: He is scrambling it!

Feet First!

As you may or may not know, A was born feet first. It was easy and fast (for me and for her, not the doctors) and it seemed like the most natural way to dismount and enter the world. I watched A try to get off my bed like that today, her tiny body dangling off the high bed until she put her feet on the top of the spring box. I also noticed that she is trying to climb- out of the crib, onto the couch.. who is this gymnast and how will I stop her? It seems like she may walk earlier than anyone else. I chuckle when I think of how worried I was a few months ago about her rigidity and lack of grace when moving. Like all matters baby, what you worry about ends up being fine and there are always new challenges on the horizon.

Shitty Comedy

After my muggy, sweaty, sticky walk to BT, I flew down 99 St to get to Broadway. I slipped (but did not fall) cartoon style and was sure that I had stepped on a banana peel. Nope. A big, wet , pile of shit. Oh, how I would love to make that dog owner eat shit. I was revolted but thankful that it did not get on my pants (almost). I dragged my foot to work, stepping in as many puddles as possible but alas, my keens have lots of grooves in them and they were, like most people, full of shit. F had dropped MoJo off as I did AleVit and he was for once, not rushing, because he has a mid pm flight and planned to work from home, I got to my carpeted classroom and decided I had to take the sandal off. I bumped into F and told him he had to help me with my crappy shoe. I limped half shod to make copies while F took various tools and liquids with him to the bathroom. Five minutes later I had a spotless sandal and a smile. True love and dedication. Would you clean dog shit out of thin grooves on someone else's shoes?

Some Lines From This Week...

M to me- You are walking the marathon? You are never going to win like that.
----
J (telling a story)- And then they shot guns.
Me- Wait. Why are we talking about guns? I do not like them.
J- They had to shoot bullet guns because they were allergic to water guns.
-----
M after noticing that eating alphabet soup was not making the babies talk- Are they getting only M's?
__
We were getting off the train and M was lagging so I reviewed what to do in the rare instance that we got separated (fyi- get off at next stop, look for police or old lady)
M: I do not want to risk it, what if the old lady is crazy?
J: What if the police is crazy?
___
When I told J he was heading out to music class: It's important, music.
__
me: Did you finish your omelette?
J: I could not stab one (spanish is pinchar, for getting stuff on fork, more colorful than English)
__
J observing garbage on the sidewalk: I am thinking they are treating the world like they do not like it.
__
J: I do not like myself. I am too little.
__
J: The most important thing is to not fall off of a cliff. Or a building.

New Ride

AleVit got their first not hand me down ride (or anything from us for that matter). We bought a cool new purple double (vertical not side by side) stroller that will allow them to face each other, out, me, any which way. I am not sure why, but I was obsessed with having this feature so that I could choose to see them or have them see each other. Now I need to sell/donate/give away one but most likely both, of the other two clunkers so that we can actually walk in our living room. The double snap and go, intended to take car seats across parking lots and on short walks, was so used that it now has rectangular wheels. The babies  are also too long and too heavy for that vehicle, that I calculate has 1,000 miles on it (no joke). V seems well. A hardly napped. But hey, both of them slept great since I have been off duty. Apparently F does not inspire night time crying. They woke up once at their signature time and he popped a paci in and it was done. Wtf? Off to bed. 14 miles with mother and all day with all four has me wiped. Tomorrow is the start of another week!
PS I got so many donations in the last week that I am basically there. THANK YOU!

Tired Willing & Able

I am very tired. F is back! We put all of the kids in bed at 6. It is 6:42 and two are still awake. M went to bed at midnight on her sleepover! One day I will gather the quotations from recent days and jot them down. Now I would just like to have a conversation with the main guy on my team, before he collapses from jet lag or I do from sleep deprivation. I need to be up at 5am to go for a 14-16 mile walk with my maternal unit. She better not poop out! Went to the pediatrician today to make sure V did not have an ear infection (he had been tugging at his ear) and he has some viral throat crap for which I can do nothing but give him tylenol. Just did. Hope it works. I am not on duty tonight though. V weighs 17.4 lbs and has a top tooth too now (3 for him and 2 for A).

3:44

Is the time A started crying, followed by V. The night before it was 3:45 and the one before 2:45. What the  hell is going on here? I am trying to do everything right (light intervention, check that they are not wet, no fever etc) but everything comes out wrong and there are lots of pacifiers flying. Looks like a binky cemetery under their bed. I refuse to accept anything before 5am as a wake up time. Unfortunately, once they are up, it goes on and on and I never go back to sleep, so I am not sure what the hell I am gaining by doing this. 4:51 am now. I should not take either out until they go back to sleep for at least a while. But I would love to knock them out with some milk. The one cool, read insane, thing about this is how as soon as one stops the other starts, interspersed with cacophonous synchronicity, followed by artificially reassuring periods (10 seconds to 3 minutes) of silence, where I believe that there will be sleep. Ay ay ay.
Silence from A. V is crying. A is at it again. Okay, you get the picture, I get the concert.

Update

I did not quite die yesterday, but I came close. Lots of lines to post but J is asleep in my room and I have no other place to write. M is at a friend's so we are having a special sleepover. F is back tomorrow. Thursday was hell and I woke up at 3:45 to screaming babies last night and it went on.... for a while. By the time they went back I did not so I am running on very little sleep. I am going to try to watch a movie and eat some junk and do laundry before the party continues tomorrow. F is back (for 48 hours) tomorrow and I will get off the night shift. A domani!

Thursday Madness

So we have a rhythm going. L comes in the am and the pm (she is a saint) and I feel like I can handle all of the bags and milk and schlepping with this one parent one helper system. Tomorrow L cannot make it (I got her another job on Thursdays which I am sure she would skip to come help me for 1.5 hours in the am but that is silly) so I have an old (unemployed) sitter taking MoJo to school and I am taking the babies. After this brisk walk and insane dash to school (BT opens at 8 and there are NO buses or cabs at that time- I have class at 8:40am!) I will have a full full day (first trip to nursing home, pre-emptive make up Spanish class for Friday because we have a picnic, which I bet will be canceled) and then take MoJo to get AleVit so we can all get home early. Why? 5pm L will come and 5:30 tío D because I have curriculum night! How will I attend the JK and first grade presentations as a parent while giving my Nursery ones and being available in my classroom for questions from JK to third grade parents? I will not, unless Michael Keaton has some cloning tips for me. Once this is all done at 8:30pm I think I will get a big bucket of wine before I come home. A la camita for me now!

And She Is Off!

A can crawl so fast and dexterously that I wonder if she is mine. I look at V, immobile in his chunk, and I know that he is mine! Neither baby sits but A is trying to stand! She goes into downward dog and then lifts one hand up like she is about to wrap up a yoga session and go. A also jumps with two feet while down in the downward dog pose. What? V's naps are shrinking and shrinking. BT is confused. Both babies went to sleep and stayed asleep in a quasi normal fashion so I will not ask any questions!

J to V

Yo Bro, Wha's up yo yo?
Harlem influence?

J As I Threatened Him..

It comes to me every time, that I do not really care about the things that you say you are not going to give me.

Happy Birthday T!

We celebrated in Brooklyn on Saturday but I hope you really enjoy your day today. I am so grateful to have you as a friend (thank you C!) and I cannot wait to see what you do in your 30's:) You are a wonderful writer, thinker, tía, and friend. Happy Happy Birthday to you. Lots of Love!

J's Afternoon Comments

Why do robbers rob? I do not get it.
--
Me- Your nails are scary, we need to cut them.
J- They are not scary. They do not have hair or anything like that on them.

No Sleep in Harlem

It could be that they do not fit comfortably in the direction that they are currently sharing the crib, or it could be teething or colds or their new erratic sleeping schedule or that they know that I am weaker than F... all I know is that the ferberized babies are quickly becoming candidates for referberizing, once F returns in 5400 days!

Recent Banter

J to V on the bed: You are impressing to me. You are only two feet tall.

J to V on why he needs a diaper: One: you are too small. Two: you would fall in the toilet. Three: You do not know how to crawl. Four: You do not know how to zipper. Seven: You are a baby.

J as he sipped a new bottle of juice: In the beginning you need to drink carefully and then you can drink roughly.

M to my mother: You are my mom's boss right? So if she says that I cannot do something but you say that I can then you are right because she is my boss but you are hers.

M to me when I complained about getting on her bunk bed: I know it is hard because you were recently pregnant and you have had some back problems.

J to me when he was angry about sharing something with M: We are not identical, we are not twins. We have different germs.

M on medicine she had to take: This tastes like poop mixed with poop.

M to me before a sleepover with abuela S: Can I have some information? Does abuela make noise at night while she sleeps?

M to J: Abuela S is the bestest grandmother in the world. She is my favorite!
J to M: She is just más o menos for me.

M to me when she did not want to put on her shoes: I am only doing it for Ms K (her teacher). I would not do this if I did not get to see her for doing it.

J to M when she tried to hold his hand to cross the street: I am not a handle.

M to J as she bought school shoes: I cannot be free style anymore, I have a uniform.

J to M as she yelled at him: I am saying bad words to you in my mind. (good technique to try I think).

14 Down 12.2 To Go

Walked 14 with ease. Let's see how I feel tomorrow. And on November 6th. Under $400 left to raise!

Here We Go!

F is out running 20 miles. I have to walk at least 14 tomorrow. Small catch. He is leaving for Milan this afternoon and I will embark on the first week of full time work (curriculum night is Thursday!) plus caring for the four monkeys. L is amazing enough to come most mornings and evenings to help me (how nice of her to travel from the Bronx for under two hours of work two times per day at opposite ends of the day!) Stay tuned for MoJo quotations that I have been accumulating.

AleVit

is growing and growing. They each have two teeth (on the bottom) and now A, who is very quiet, says "mamma" as well. It is not always as crisp as V's mamma but I will take it. A still does not crawl but does lots of fancy moves. V still rolls as a mode of transportation like all large babies do. They seem to love BT and BT loves them back. My only current problem is that one or both babies wakes up at 4:15 every day and I cannot get back to sleep!