Some Comments From This Week

Me, to J, at Mannes: Do you have to go to the bathroom before class?
J: Yeah, I need to caca.
Me: That is too much information.
J: Oh, yeah, this place is fancy.
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In bathroom:
Me: Are you done?
J: No, I am making some small cacas, like for a doll house man.
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J on how he would run F's 2:30pm work meeting: Good morning Fayzan! Let's all do a booty shake.
Me: What if they ask you questions?
J: Then I will punch them in the nose.
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At the MOMA, J: These pictures were done by children (they did look like that). They should be in the children's section.
J upon looking at a huge piece of paper with a small hand drawn on it and a large piece of debris on the ground in front of it: This is not famous. This is not even finished.
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J: I drew my age!
Me: 5 with three coins?
J: No, not the small coins, the big ones. 5 and three quarters!
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M at random points on two different days: People have diabetes you know! I wish they did not sell so much junk food.
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J when he found school work in the recycling: I quit St. H & H. You do not even care about my work there. I am not going.
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M about our apt hunting: You did not like any of those try outs? We are not moving to any of them?

Bang For Your Metrocard!

Check it:
Skipped taking babies to BT. Subway with J to M's bff house (she had practically moved in there- double sleepover!). M was pissed because I would not let it go triple. Take her and her friend and the other monkey to MOMA. Met tía D who has an awesome card that let us all in for free (yay!). Enjoyed some art (not all). Stay tuned for great comments from MoJo (oh what an art critic J is!) and then had lunch near there. In fact, we ate right in front of tío D's office and he joined us. Bye Bye tía D and I schlepped from Madison & 53 to 50 and 7th with the three monkeys back up to M's friend's house (use number 3 of metrocard). Here I (dumbly) opted to walk home with MoJo. Power piano and reading time. Back out (IV) to 98 and Broadway where they were dropped off at playdate (brother/sister same age as my kids).  Back to Harlem to Street Squash (V). Great session. Back down to get MoJo (VI). Back home (VII) to do showers and make dinner. Hello AleVit! Left to go to Film Forum (check out review later)- use VIII. Wow, what a depressing film. Back home (IX). Good night. Thank you MTA, I hate you, but I love you a little too.

Oggi

M: Bad grammar used to bother me, but now I use it too.
J: Bad grandma?
J: Grammar.
J: Grandma?
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J: There are three versions of us. The silly, the mean, and the perfect. The silly is here, the perfect around the corner, and the mean is in coffee drowning to her death.
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J looking at his toasted bagel with cream cheese: Delightful!
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Me to J: Do you want Z (old bt teacher) to babysit>
M: Tío G and D are cheaper.
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J: How many years until I am dead?
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M: I am reading my all manic.
Me: What?
M- points to almanac.
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J: Mock my words!
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M put gel all over J's hair before they watched Grease. I told her she would be surprised if she saw Travolta today. M: He's not aging well?
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V when I told him "no se hace" about throwing cereal all over the floor: I not funny (with hispanic accent).

Happy New Year (aka Felicia me muero)!

Whoa 2013. Barely got used to 2012. Remember when 1999 seemed futuristic in Prince's song. We will party like it is 2013 this year. F and I will pace ourselves as we eat into the night. F has been cooking up a storm! Food and 10 episodes of Homeland as we battle to make it to midnight. May this year be full of good health and much peace and patience for all of those who need it. I am grateful for another year full of work, love, family, good health, and many opportunities. If you are a reader and not a commenter, please make a comment once in a while in the new year so I know you be there. Felicia, me muero!

Today's Lines

Me: Dejate de joder.
M: Yeah, stop joderering.
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When I picked up a baby item at a store. J: Who is that for?
Me: Guess.
J: Our babies?
Me: We do not have babies, we have toddlers. Someone else in our family.
J: Did you forget our babies? A and V?
Me: Yes, I know them but this is for a new baby that is not born yet.
J: Ms M? (60 year old piano teacher)
Me: Nope. IN OUR FAMILY.
J: Oh, her name starts with a K! Or a C. I know who.
(thank goodness).
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J: I want a new family.
Me; Ok, go to CVS, they are on sale there.
M: You are hurting everyone's feelings.
J: The babies do not understand.
M: Someone could be recording this and they will see it when they are older. You never know.
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J while watching Albero degli Zoccali: But there are no poor people like that in real life right?
Me: There are people much poorer than that in most of the world.
J: Now? I want to give them my money (goes to piggy bank and takes out a third)
J: I feel happy and sad. Sad that I am losing my money but happy that I am giving to people that need it. But I want to give it to people in another country.
Me: Haiti? Somewhere in Africa? Nicaragua?
J: Nicaragua. Because I do not know what that is. I know that M did Haiti and I want to do a different country.

MoJo & AleVit Banter

V after I told him that he hurt my hand when he stepped on it: Sorry mano.

J: can you build my scooter so I can go out for a test drive?

V with shoe lace in hand: Oh no, I rompe (italian accent) the shoe!

Me to F: The good news is that I love you.
M: That is old news!

M to V: Torino!
V, irritated: What? (back talk from a midget!!)

Home Sweet Home

There is nothing like being back home. No matter where you have been or how much fun you could have had, it is amazing to be back home. I would not mind skipping the unpacking, however. Sheer physics suggests that I need to gather up many bags of items to give away if we are not fit in this apartment. AAAAHHH too many objects everywhere!

High & Low Lights

Somebody found little balls of poop on the couch after abuela I changed a diaper. Oops. She commented "no wonder I was smelling caca."
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A flew down an ENTIRE (short) flight of stairs while playing with grandpa. I literally stopped breathing for a few seconds. I am not sure how toddler anatomy works, but it apparently allows you to fly face down, with a running start, hit your twin on the way down and still not get hurt. Hallelujah to them rubbery bones.
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V sang "Happy birthday" all day long to his abuela (it is her bday), to A, and to grandpa.
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V screaming "I want pasta" in the car and "We are all done" (first use of "we") when they were done eating at the restaurant.

SNOW!

It has been snowing all night and it is still snowing. I hope to take the midgets out later today. Hard to believe that we only have two days left here. I failed to exercise yesterday but I did bowl. MoJo skied for me. They liked it and will be back next year. AleVit continue to enjoy traipsing around the house repeating what everything says to them in three languages and enjoying different games over and over again with different grandparents (nonni nonni with abuela I, cuckoo with nonna M). Off to eat more and hopefully read!

Feliz Navidad

Hope y'all had a good holiday. I just ate way too many burned turnips or some root vegetable that I charred. Vermont has been nice. I have failed completely at reading but I have been dancing and/or walking and running every day and throwing in some planking and back exercises. Good flossing. So overall I am doing okay with my 30 day challenge. We have not seen much film-wise. Babies have mixed feelings about the snow. They are talking up a storm in all three languages. Today A said "I want silla." When I gave it to her she added, "I want tutto." My favorite line from this holiday came from J. While opening a remote helicopter F told him he would need "supervision" to use it. J held his eyes wide open and said "Okay, super vision." MoJo is off for their first ski lesson EVER tomorrow with the grandparents. Off to burp an excess of roasted greasy burnt veggies. Yummm.

DELAY

Happy happy birthday to my partner (Dec 21 if you missed it). We are in Vermont. School is over. Christmas pageant number XIV done. We are in baby control mode trying to control the damage they are inflicting on this house full of chachkas (sp?) MoJo is out buying a tree. AleVit is down for their first nap in this house. V screamed like he was being decapitated last night. Not much sleep. Will work on not eating my weight in holiday junk. Patience and self control are key in these quarters. Happy almost Christmas.

Mamma Mia!

Xmas pageant is tomorrow and the week has flown by with no posts! It is actually very hard to believe that we are here again. Many family members sick, Connecticut, general business, all of this prevented me from posting. But here we are, like I said. Happy to be going on break, even if the family seems crazier than ever. My best gift has already arrived. It was yesterday. I went with the third graders to the nursing home to deliver some pots they had painted with plants in them. I asked them if they could sing their pageant song, "Silent Night" before we left. Even though they do not sing well. There was something about so many children singing, their little voices reaching for the notes, that moved everyone. One old man, Mr. A, raised his hand to speak before we left. He said he thought the performance was so good that they should record it and that the music made him feel warm inside. The tears were strolling down my face. It is so easy to be nice to each other. What the fuck is wrong with people? I saw my true (senior) love on the way out. She was sitting in the lobby, with her coat on, as always. She had no idea who I was (It is like the movie "50 First Dates") but smiled when I wished her a happy holiday. I kind of wanted to take her with me. One day soon I will go to the nursing home and she will be gone. Sweet KL. On a baby note, V was sent home sick yesterday. He has a fever. Again. Mercy. On the birthday front, F is catching up to me, 37 tomorrow. Off to stretch!

Pee Pee Time- Yahoo!

She may have come out last and not talk up a storm, but A has emerged as the potty queen. They have each had their own potty for a few months. They like to sit on it for a microsecond and say "all done" or "ya está" but they have never even accidentally left pee in there. A has asked me eagerly to sit on the potty in the last two days. This morning I said sure but proceeded to dress her and she yelled "potty!" I let her go and after running around naked, F went to dress her and asked me why she was wet. I went to check the potty, cover down, and it was FULL of pee. Go A! As we celebrated, V went up to her and hit her (jealous midget). Slowly but surely we will move away from ruining our planet with diapers!

Bodily Functions

V exploded in diarrhea yesterday. Think geyser. As he sat in his hi chair eating a banana, he said "caca."By the time I looked, he had yellow SHIT all over. His t-shirt was wet up to the armpits and he had poop on his forehead. I have seen kids with dinner in the form of vomit on their faces or in their hair, but never have I identified food in the form of shit on a child's face. Holy moly. Thank goodness F took over the cleaning of the blonde poop midget.
Then to add some fun to the weekend, J's front teeth have been super loose and hill billy like. While roughhousing with grandpa, his mouth started bleeding and he was able to take one out. The tooth fairy is such a prescient genius, that she left two dollars, At some point in the morning, J lost his second tooth, and more than likely swallowed it.
No more bodily functions for now.

J!

slept on the floor last night. When I asked him why (his comforter weighs 20 lbs as he stuffed it with all of his stuffed animals) he said he was helping V fall asleep.
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I went up late to the Kwanzaa celebration to find my midget drumming with another kid and two African drummers in front of the whole early childhood program. The serious look of pride on his face as he kept up with the African beat was too much! I am hoping some teachers got footage/pictures that I can have.
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A man of many trades, J also had his karate demonstration yesterday and the midget is good! Fast clean kicks, falls. Also performs karate with a very serious expression. He is not even six! I hate to boast, but I am very proud of this little swimming/drumming/piano playing/karate kicking delinquent!

30 Day Check In

How is everyone doing with their challenges? Be honest. I forgot to do my back exercises yesterday. I have read and flossed every day but some days only for 5 min (reading). I am doing well with the not yelling for the most part. I did the "click a day" to support a Miami art project.
How about you guys?

Latest MoJo

M while playing with play-doh: Is this named after the guy?
Me: Plato? The thinker?
M: Yeah.
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J when I read him "Merry Christmas. I love you. M" from his best friend: That is all she wrote? I write longer things in my cards!

Midget Tales

V to J while he practiced drumming: Stop banging!

V to A, who would not eat: Es bueno.

V to L when his twin yawned: Tiene sueño.

A when F asked "cosa dice la scimmia?" (what do monkeys say): raspberry sound.
F: ooh ooh ah ah
A, with tude: mono!

J when I asked him why he was so cute: Cute kids come from cute parents.

J when I told him he was not going to the Lion King now, but later with grandpa: I am never going to go. Grandpa doesn't pay for big things.

M to J: Stop it, mamá is not in the fun zone.

J: I have a lot of salima in my mouth.

M this am: We are lucky we have three meals a day and toys and a good school. Some schools have police and metal detectors because teenagers go to school to shoot other teenagers. The luckiest thing you could basically have, is a family.

Goodbye 37! Hello 37!

Yay! I am only 37. My savvy math skills made me think 1975-2012 is 37 years and I have been convinced that I was already 37, turning 38. How nice to still only be 37. How nice to eat a 900 calorie almond croissant a colleague brought me. How very nice to have F make me breakfast and get me a very funny card (will show to those who care to see). How great to be healthy. To have a job. A mother who brought me flowers to work before I got here. Parents who call and write before 9am (so I know they remembered right away- late night birthday calls are disappointing to me). Friends and family abroad who emailed me while I slept. How nice. Now if A's fever went away, it would be perfect! Off to teach. Thank you Sam I am. For all that I have.

Water Agua Everywhere

This was the theme yesterday. MoJo competed in their first swim race (so fun!) and did really well. Washer broken at come and it was RAINING in our living room. Literally. I was standing holding a bucket and a tupper ware watching it rain into various other containers, while F fiddled with the washer cursing like a madman (AleVit cried like maniacs in the meantime, from their cribs, for added effect). When I saw the light fixture full of water and dripping (lights on), I knew we were fucked. We are sort of fucked as I now have no washer, more damage in the apartment etc etc but I do not even care that much. We have each other, a place to live and we have our health. You cannot beat that.

F is Coming Home!

In the middle of the night tonight.
After a loooong week away.
Yay!

The Pasta Lover

He may look like a Russian midget with his stout mini body and his blond locks, but V cannot LIVE without pasta. He asks for it ("pasta?" he inquires every morning "carne"? "apple sauce?") at every meal and I think he has it for most meals at home. I made potatoes and broccoli and a slew of other foods for dinner tonight. But V cried. Desperately. For ten minutes. For his true love. "Pasta!" he wailed. I did not give in. But he barely ate. Pobre gordo.

M This Am

You are three quarters the best mom in the world. Actually, some moms are too mean and some are too nice and their kids are bratty. You are in the middle. Perfect. (my ratings are up today)
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on empanadas I made for her class yesterday: The teachers came in to scoop them up like their lives depended on it.

Happy Birthday Espinaca!

Hope you had a great one. How can you be 17? How did that happen? I guess I am about to turn 37 then. Que los cumplas feliz! TQM!

Sweetness In A Crib

A was complaining in her crib. I just put them to bed and say good night. L, aka "Cici" massages them until they are asleep (or trick her into thinking they are). A called out for Cici (dagger to my heart) and I began to hush her and rub her back. After a minute I was just hushing but not touching her and I saw V was rubbing her back. She eventually noticed but was happy anyway. I cannot think of anything sweeter than that. My feisty rough A being soothed by her chatterbox other half. Who says they cannot sleep in the same bed until college?

Mini Thems

A grabbed J's drumsticks and was actually playing with some rhythm against the pillow and then hitting the sticks together. J commented "pretty good for a little kid." Another drummer? She then proceeded to whack him with the sticks- that violence is all her.

V NEVER stops talking and now he is bossy too! He was yelling at A who was playing with a dirty sponge, "no en el pelo. no en la boca" What a little bossy pants.

It is actually very cute that I catch them have "conversations' sometimes- spontaneous back and forths mostly about "mi toonoh" (my turn).

PS V just pooped on the floor and told me. I swooped him up and while putting a diaper on him noticed that he had already slipped in it and that his foot, and subsequently my clean bed, were covered in shit. Lovely. "No caca en piso" he diligently agreed with me.

PPS They call toothpaste "pasta" (it is also called pasta de dientes) and as V asked me for more I wondered what he must think having his toothpaste and favorite food share a moniker. As if he could read my thoughts, he said "más pasta for tooth."




cac clip
conversation

MoJo's Deep Thought

I think you and papi will have another kid
Me: I think five is a lot. Do you know a lot of families with five?
M: You can wait until the babies are like two.
Me: That is in two months.
M: The Bs (family in our school) have five kids (they are gazillionaires) and so do Mexicans.
Me: Who?
M: I do not know them, but I see them on the street.

Monday, And We Are Off!

F is gone until Saturday. I am in turbo mode. Need to wrap up reports, my conference report, make empanadas for two second grade classes, shuffle back and forth to music classes blah blah blah. So far so good with my challenge but I am not impressed with myself yet, only day two. How you jews doing on your challenges? Anyone else up for a 30 day challenge?
PS V is trying to eat the lights on the xmas tree (¡fruta!) he yells as he mouths the electrical pine shaped death hazard. He is also convinced that a picture of M, as a two year old (with long brown hair), is him. "Torio!" he declares. He also yelled at me for wearing F's pj pants "papi pantalones!" Another bossy pants, we were short those in the fam.

Boy Humor

When J went to the bathroom for a looong time at Columbus Circle, I said "What were you doing for so long?"
J- Number 3. (pause) 1 and 2 (good math!)
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This am when I told AleVit "ahora traigo la leche", V yelled "Bring apple sauce!"

30 Days Part II

I am sorry to have disappeared. I was not very successful with doing anything challenging yesterday, so I will attempt to start today, Dec 2, which will bring me to Dec 31. For 30 days I will:

1. do my back exercises
2. floss
3. try to not yell at kids (and make sure to apologize if I do)
4. read every day (I am in the middle of two good books)
5. no carbs in the evening
6. no fried food
7. support this cause 

that's all I got.

wish me luck and do share your own challenges...

30 Days

Seems to be a magic number. Morgan Spurlock made a whole series that places people in new and challenging situations (think homophobe living with a gay couple) for 30 days. One of J's piano teachers just challenged his class to practice every day without fail for 30 days. I like challenges. On December 1 I will start a 30 day challenge of my own. I think it will be multifaceted and have some more and less important parts. What can you try to do for a month? So far I am thinking daily flossing, downward dogs, no yelling at children. Any ideas?

Life Is Good

After some bumpy times and lots of stress, I have taken a chill pill and I can say that life is good. Sometimes shutting the fuck up and not listening to your own litany of complaints and anxieties is good.Told a tutoring mother to go f*&*^&% herself.  F is away, back tomorrow. F is gone all of next week. Kids are all well. MoJo is behaving well. AleVit is crazy funny. Reports are half way done. I am very behind with both blogs. Looking forward to December. Traditions. Family. Lots of piano practice.

On the what are the babies doing now front...
V does not EVER stop talking. He is constantly mimicking everyone, repeating, scolding, and narrating what he does. "No toques" as he touches. "Baby crying" when anyone cries. "Close it." "Saca." He is exhaustingly funny. A is also talking a lot more but her verbal skills are eclipsed by V's chatterbox mania. Más mañana.

In Cahoots!

J's mouth looks like he is missing teeth because his baby teeth are so small and moving around in there. His top row looks awful. I found a note under his pillow (M's handwriting bien sur) asking the tooth fairy to knock out his top two teeth.  Should I punch them out while he sleeps? I know they want to share the fairy loot!

Mikisa!

Is what V calls música. He likes to point out "canta! baila!" whenever he sees someone (animated or not) doing any of the above. Not only is J loving Mannes and adoring his drumming lessons (I am basically working to pay for music lessons) but M is starting piano lessons today too (not at Mannes). Tío G lent us his huge keyboard (because the living room felt too empty) and now we can practice away. Hurray for music!

A The Brainiac

Every time you ask V if he has pooped he give s short funny "no" that means exactly the opposite. A, being his total opposite, has been telling me that she has caca when she's got nada. She has actually been taking her clothes off and she wanted my help to take her diaper off. A was excited to sit on the potty several times today but has never (neither has V) put anything in the potty. After running around naked for a while, A went to my underwear drawer, grabbed two pairs, and tried to put one on! I offered her some training underwear and she was thrilled. When F took them off and put her diaper on, A was pissed! The underwear over the diapers appeased her and she proudly wore both for the rest of the day!

Back Banter

M watching Moby Dick: There is never nothing to do on a whaling ship!

M to me: How long do you want to live?

Me to J: I don't want to punish you but I will.
J to me: Well, I don't want to be rude but I will.

M watching a dog show on tv: That's a shit-zoo.
Me; Shitsu.
M: Shit-zoo!

J to M touching the digital piano on loan: Get off my piano!
Me: That is not yours.
J: Get off my and (tío) G's piano!

J to grandpa: If you go to a party you will never get a girlfriend because you have little hair.

M to me: You have the given up voice.

J: It is great to be a kid like me. I can get whatever I want when I kiss you.

Learning about careers on Sesame Street J commented: Like karate, that is a career.

M to J: You have a horrible habit of being clumsy on purpose.

Bye Bye Bottles!

While some may say I am almost a year behind, I never listen to the hype about when you HAVE to do something with babies, especially because the advice is constantly changing. My babies loved their bottles and really only used them for morning leche and traveling. So I let them keep them. As with most changes a mother can fret about, they did not care at all when I told them it was bye bye bottles. I proceeded to throw dozens of bottle parts in the garbage (they were all pretty nasty since they are the same ones from birth- I also do not follow the prescription to change the nipples every five minutes). While they could not care less, I felt a twinge of sadness. Chupetes and diapers, both on their way out as well, are all that is left of my babies. I am left with hardly a vestige of babyhood. I hate saying "the twins" so now I am trying "the toddlers" but it may just be AleVit from now on. I think these were the last babies I ever had. In fact, I am pretty sure of it. While having real small babies is a LOT of work, it is also a special special time and I mourn its permanent absence from my life. For those of you with no kids, one kid, two kids, or grown up kids. you probably think I am nuts. I may be. Hence the original blog name 4321crazymamma.Off to teach!

And We're Back!

Feels like I was in a time warp in Philly. I have about a dozen posts in mind but I will keep it snappy and continue to perpetually fall behind with my postings. Philly was perfect. A combination of professional development (for the three cool ice), sport (just the "I do not train but run annual marathons one), and family (we even got to see tía A!!). Kids were well behaved for the most part. MoJo stayed with tía C and AleVit with us. Saturday night they all went to bed late and AleVit was singing!! and laughing like crazy in the car and then in the side by side pack and plays. It was very funny. V can count (or it was a fluke). Looking out the window he said "un carro, otro carro, tres carro." He also said "wakala!" when I changed his diaper and I laughed and explained to F that L, says that for "yuck"- it is a Puerto Rican expression. A day later he said "wakala" again followed by "L dice wakala"- this kid can talk! V projectile vomited on the way there and F and tío G had to deal with that. M groaned and whined liked a maniac for the last 20 minutes of the trip back (V whined almost the entire time- he has a damn whining siren as of late) and later projectile vomited the Naked green machine juice (what could be better?) that she had drunk in the car. Hoping it is just MoVi car sickness and not some other crap (btw M has an ear infection that she self diagnosed last Thursday on the way to the pediatrician). Off to my 2.5 days of school pre Turkey day. Here comes December. Wild!!

Philly

here for a conference. lots to write but oh so tired. this week was hell. happy to be doing something different this weekend. excited to see the famiglia tomorrow. pediatrician yesterday confirmed what we know. v is heavier and shorter (25% for height) than a who is 1.5 inches taller and 1.5 lbs lighter (75% for height). more tomorrow or sunday.

Oh What A Day!

Tuesdays are not that bad. I teach at school. Practice a little piano with J after school and then come home with MoJo. I have a chunk of the afternoon alone with the four kids and then does not happen on any other day. When F comes home on Tuesdays, it's tag, he's it and I am off to tutor. But today was full of glitches and snafus and I wondered if I was on candid camera. During my first period class I went to the computer to turn music on. My email was open and there was a message from the head of school's assistant. The message was in the subject line: WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU IN VC's OFFICE. Apparently there was a meeting to discuss the distribution of the 30K we raised for Hurricane Sandy victims. I am the head of community service but I was not told about it. I was teaching anyway, but looked and felt like an asshole. A little while later the same woman wrote to me to ask if I had/could send the information about the Thanksgiving food chain to the communications woman. This woman started work a few days ago as a maternity sub and I know the real woman in charge left all of the info ready. Why didn't this person contact me directly? Once again, I was doing/had done my job but looked like a dingbat. I decided to do some manual labor. We collected thousands (no joke) of articles of clothing for the hurricane victims that nobody wanted. I thought I would continue my schlep of human size garbage bags to the church up the street. For good measure I took a bag with a million coins as well so I could stop at the bank to make our penultimate deposit for City Harvest. I am already tired just writing this. Well, let's just day that it began to rain, I dropped many coins in a putrid corner and the day only got worse.
Today: finished school 2:30pm, 3-4 tutor on 73 St. back to school to get MoJo. 5pm piano lesson Mannes (85St.). home. bye L. double dinner (babies had eaten), quadruple bath. f home. Tag, he was it. Off to 87 St East to tutor. Need to fold laundry. Need to pack for Philly. Need to sleep. More tomorrow.

Today

M on her earrings: I look totally different now.

J on a sheet entitled: Happiness is (for H week)

swimming, learning new things like science, movie night, driving to Philadelphia!

V's Skills

He is currently serenading himself in the crib with "happy birthday to you." L taught it to him while we took M out for her birthday on Sunday. He counts to three in Spanish, sings "CDE" no matter what part of the ABC's song you are on, and can make about eight different animal noises. He is very funny. And fat. And blonde. You gotta love this guy.

Today's Banter

M on her party: I was feeling very nervous and tense because everyone wanted to sit next to me.

J, as I rinsed him in the shower: I can tell when you are angry because you do things very fast when you are. There is still soap all over me.

J: Does conchita start with a '"c" or a "k"?

M looking at an ad for some crap show entitled "Beauty & The Beast": Why do they take a really good kids movie and turn it into a horror movie?

Me to J: Let's get your swimming teacher a gift. He is so nice to you.
J: No, we get him a gift when it is his birthday.

Me to M: My stomach hurts (I had had Indian)
M: Maybe you are having another baby.
Me: No, but thanks for thinking that. I think the next baby you have will be a cousin.
M: Tía C is too young to have babies. You have to be in your thirties.

And Then She Was Eight...

Today was a whirlwind! We left Alevit at home at 9:30am and headed to the movie theater. 9 wild children, 4 chaperones, 150 lbs of popcorn and a cute flick (Wreck it Ralph - check skipripoplay later for a review). More family and way too long a wait at Brother Jimmy's. 1.5 hours of waiting (no joke) at Claire's to get M's ears pierced (still not sure how I feel about that). Mora family, friends, pizza, chocolate cake. Too many presents. One happy eight year old. Two tired parents.

Don't Grow Anymore!!!

M is asleep in her bed. She put a teddy bear by her head to see if it moves by the time she wakes up (which would indicate that she has grown). She is turning eight and I remember her being born like it was a few months ago. The worst part about eight is that nine comes next and then the double digits. I know she cannot stay little forever but could she try? Could she slow down? Happy (early) birthday Morita Bonita, my first true love!

Recent Banter

M watching Grease: They do not make good movies like this anymore!

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J on the half naked lady in the ad in the cab (wtf with those??): Why is she showing her privates to all of New York City?

___

M (still in taxi tv mode): That is the best store.

J: No, they have the best ads, it is not the best store.

____

J: Sometimes you are "qué asco".

___

M: It's actually upsetting that I have been to see Ms H (lower division director) five times already (in her life).

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J on whether AleVit would go to his school: It is our decision- they are going!

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J: Not (tío) D's age- a grown up!

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J when I asked him to STOP DRUMMINGQ!: I told you 100 times, I will tell you 101 times- I was born this way!

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M or J?: Do magicians tell other magicians their secrets?

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M: Food should be free (I agree).

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M on her party: I want it to be pleasant for everybody.

Wiped!

Wed: school. 73 & Broadway to tutor. Met L & MoJo in the SNOW at Mannes. Piano lesson. Back home (soaked) to see AleVit, make dinner and sauna for babies (so congested). F back, me back out to 87 St & Park to tutor. Walked through a blizzard! Crazy. Today: school, decorated sugar skulls (huge mess!), went to run errands, teach first Spanish class to toddlers at BT. Back up to school. Got farm share and MoJo. Cab home. Steamed babies. A has a fever again. Crap! Out to hurricane benefit at my school. Back home. Tired. Both midgets will stay home. Expensive week of child care. Poor A!

A oh A

Poor A! She had a fever and coxsackie or some shit on Sunday. Stayed home Monday. Could not really eat (sores in mouth). She seemed well (energy back, hitting her brother) and went back to BT today. She was apparently a droopy rag and came back with no voice. Her breathing is labored. I steamed her for 10 minutes, whacking her in the back, but it seems like she has a blob of phlegm in her chest, throat that is hindering her talking and breathing. Where is my feisty lady?

J's Super Taped Note

that he gave me. was for me to mail. to G-d. He told me it was about hurricane Sandy:
G-d. Help New York. J.
Oy. Collateral damage of going to a St. school. Letters to G-d. Then he said:
Add his son too.
His son?
Yeah, Jesus.
Mamma mia!

J Rockin' The Vote!

Election Day Jitters

Did not get to vote yet.
Harlem machines mostly broken. People voting on paper as an "emergency ballot."
What century are we in?
Nervous.
Voting after school.
4 more years!
Please.

J's Mani-Pedi

Me: Come here, your nails are disgusting.
J: Of course they are, I am a vampire.

J: Don't do the pinky (toe), I will not be relaxed.

J: Do not cut my toe nails if they are sharp.
Me: Of course I am going to cut them.
J: I promise I will not do anything with them at school.

You Can Cancel the Marathon But You Cannot Take It Away!

This is how we do it!
Amazing 2.5 hours cheering, giving out food and water and love with Mo, AleVit and tío G! Congratulations to all those who tenaciously ran for a charity, for any cause, for the love of running.

Marathon Nostalgia

If you are looking for some marathon action on this non-marathon Sunday, you can check this out. It was very special, despite the struggles, and I can say (notice the night around us) that we were among the LAST people to run this puppy. Looking forward to cheering next year!

NYC (Marathon)

Whoa. Who ever thought this would be canceled pre-Sandy? NYC history is now going to have another major separator, pre and post Sandy. While I am very sorry to see the marathon canceled, I understand the public's sentiment. I do feel sorry for the thousands of people who invested hundreds of hours training and for the thousands of people who traveled here to participate in this NYC gem. I know this comment makes some people (a friend almost strangled me over the phone) irate, but I do think you can be an empathetic New Yorker and still be sorry to see the race go. I commend Bloomberg for listening to the mounting opposition and for changing his mind, even if he insists (and I do not see why he would lie) that there was not going to be an issue of diverted personnel. After all, like one of my favorite people always says "only asses (donkeys) never change their minds." The greatest race ever will still be great a year from now. We all hope NYC will be fully recovered from the tragic events of the last week, but we all also know that it cannot ever fully be healed and fixed. We are, however, as New Yorkers, and the citizens of this nation in general, incredibly resourceful (both in means and creativity), generous, and most importantly, teeming with solidarity. This combination makes us stronger and better in times of crises than in regular times. May the power come back on for everyone this weekend, and let the recovery push forward.

And We're Back!

Bloomberg may have closed schools for the rest of the week but my boss said "uh uh." This has to be the strangest week ever. Halloween has come and gone. M was a (half naked) flamenco dancer and J zorro (with a burnt cork drawn on moustache). The babies refused to wear their monkey costumes, but hey, at least I wasted some money on those. I will get a damn picture in those outfits before I donate them! My thoughts are with all of Sandy's victims. Damn nature. Relentless sometimes.

Recent Lines, Occurrences

M: We have to observe energy

J on the floor with a pillow: I am waiting for a romantic smoosh with you.

M: You are the best mom in this content.
Me: Content? Continent?
M: Yeah, there is nobody that is more comforting.

V would not come into the apt so I closed the door. I put my ear to the door and did not hear anything. I opened the door and he was on his toes pressing the elevator button!

Me: I am so tired I am going to go to sleep right there (point to sidewalk).
M: No, then homeless cannon balls will eat you.

A wore goggles all the way back from swimming on Saturday. She looks like a bad ass in them!
She tries to do a backbend in the umbrella stroller, arching her back and grabbing the handles (where my hands go). This girl is cuckoo!

Damn You Sandy!

I hear the wind. I read and watch the news. I cannot believe this storm will be as bad as they say. I hope not. But I do hope for something. Some strong rain at least. I have two actual living breathing mini hurricanes in this apartment. I cannot describe the damage they wreak on our small space. They climb and spill, bang and clatter, hit and open and break and close and... tío G was over here for an hour and left exhausted. They NEVER stop moving, exploring. No outside time, no stroller, no fresh air. I might have to go stand in the storm later to take a little break. No school tomorrow either. Damn! No MTA. No nada. Thank G-d F did not make it to Canada!

Beautiful Wedding!

T & M finally did it! C's song performance was fabulous. The bride and groom looked gorgeous and the ceremony was short and original. Dancing on my 11th anniversary was a blast and seeing my mother and I tear up the dance floor cracked me up!  I hope they dance like that at my next party! I feel like I got married more than 11 years ago, but I also love F as if I were a crazy teenager. Cannot wait for our 40/20 party (remember 30/10)? To love!

Recent Chatter

M: Mamá's butt smells beautiful, aka like roses.

J's teacher trying to teach him to make his lower case "q" in his name not look like a "g": Does your name end in "gin"- there is no g sound in your name.
J: There is no "w" in it either but you call me "wah-keen."

J when he found a drawing of his in the recycling and out it back on the fridge: Is that how you treat love? In the recycling?

My Answers to A's Questions- You Can Answer Too!

1. If you could choose any president, past or present, that you could date, who would it be? (men can answer too)

Sadly I used to be an US History geek and can barely remember the presidents at this point. I like Barack yo, I think I might choose him.

2. What collective year has been the best of your life/why?

Cannot choose. The best moments were those with family for sure and the three days my kids were born were amazing moments but I do not know about "best."

3. If you had to dress in just one color for the rest of your life, which would it be?

Easy. Black.

4. Which is the best holiday?

Christmas because of Christ. Actually, it is because of VT.

5. What worries you most (on a daily basis)?

Doing a good job at school and at home.

6. What’s your dream job?

I think it would be impossible to have. I would have to use my mind a lot, contribute to society, make money, and have a great schedule. I do have some of the above so I cannot complain.

7. If you were an inanimate object, what would you be?

Not a napkin. Maybe a car, they see a lot of action.

8. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?

Buenos Aires

9. What’s your favorite word? (any language)

bruja, pepino, bugiarda (liar in italiano), liublu (love in russian)

10. What single item would you need to have somewhere to call that place home?

nothing. my kids. and i need a digital watch at all times.

11. How long do you brush your teeth for, on average?

too short. 30-45 seconds?

La Vida Loca

The last many days have been so busy that I have not been able to write much. Thank you to my good friends who helped me with childcare and to my brother D and of course, the irreplaceable L, without whom, our whole life would be in disarray. Last week was rough, as F was away all week. Last weekend we celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary (one week early) in a lovely B&B in Hudson, NY. What a difference a 22 hour get away can make. Lovely. On our actual anniversary we will be celebrating M& T's wedding. Yahoo! Next weekend is the marathon, the one after M's bday, then Philly for a conference and a few days later it is Thanksgiving. The fall is flying by! More later skater(s).

Evening Comments

M as she saw the FBI warning at the beginning of the video: Don't you think five years is an exaggeration?
J: No, it is illegal to copy movies.
M: J, your whole life has only been five years.
_________
J chewing his chicken cutlet (milanesa): There is like a bone in here (unlikely).
Me: A bone?
J: Yeah, like a rib.

Am Comments

J: Why did the cow moo?
Because she liked the blues.

M: Someone is going to have to tickle me for picture day so I can smile good.

From Our Building Manager- Now I Get It?!%!&^!#

This is the note from Elevator technician for your information only:
 
I was on site at 6 am this morning. Lady in 1A gave me access. Upon further investigation an intermittent control problem was noted. When the car would go to run the motor control would hesitate run signal to motor. This condition was not apparent with old motor due to binding caused by the misalignment and bad bearings. When new motor was installed it allowed the elevator to "roll back" on occasion when starting causing the car to go on the final limit at the top landing shutting it down on the 5th floor. This problem pretty much goes unnoticed at other floors because roll back is always up and no other safety device can be tripped.
Further investigatin showed there has been motor control issues before we acquired job. Motor drive had been replaced. Motor encoder had been removed. And other boards have been replaced. Also the controller prints that were on site from previous company were missing the pages that specifically relate to this problem. New prints need to be acquired for continued troubleshooting. Tricon controller. OT173993/MCE2005048287
This problem will be addressed and corrected in a timely fashion.

HOW ABOUT WHY THE FUCK DOES THE ELEVATOR KEEP BREAKING WHEN I AM ALONE WITH 4 KIDS, RUSHING OUT THE DOOR WITH A STROLLER AS BIG AS A MACK TRUCK???

Recently...

M, when I asked her why I found children's Pepto in the washing machine: When I was six, I used to put things in my pocket just in case I needed them and I guess it just made it through the wash the first few times

M: Will AleVit go to St H & H?
Me: I am not sure.
J: Yes, they are going. It is our decision.

J and I went to pee together and after he went, I squatted to pee, J: Why don't you sit?
Me: Because I do not want to touch the toilet seat and I am lazy.
J: I will put the paper down for you.

Me to M: What are you going to do during J's piano lesson now that your homework is done?
M: Oh, I have so many activities I can do. I like to look at people, organize my bag....

J: Do you know that when people are old they shrink?

Me to M about a TV show: How did you watch that? Isn't it about teenagers and inappropriate?
M: I was looking at the bright side and thinking "mamá does not know this show. maybe it is appropriate."

J to me: How many days until I am your age?
Me: I do not know.
M: Just count the years and multiply by 365.

J The Mobster

I tried taking off the damn glue from his eyebrow and made it worse as for two days he had a strip of glue with a piece of eyebrow just dangling from his face. Yesterday I said "this is it" and decided to bribe him. He is a funny guy. He asked for gum, candy, a dollar, 4 quarters, a movie night and a toy. Any time I offered something he would go in the opposite direction and add to his requests. I explained that this is not how one bargains. In the end, he got the money (well he does not have it yet but it will go into his Truck or Treat box for City Harvest), a movie night (which he would get anyway) and gum. What a scammer. It took one second to rip off that damn glue and now he does not look like a "freakin' freak." Remember that this is the kid, when we almost got run over by a motorcycle on the sidewalk (two years ago so he was three and change!) that said: When I grow up, I am going to run over him and his family. Mafia blood?

Thank Goodness for Binders!

Without these, Romney would have never met any intelligent women to hire. So hard to come by and foreign that he had to look in binders!

I Type as I Hear (Ay Ay Ay)

M to J: Adam is a myth. Like they think that G-d put Adam and Eve on earth and they had kids and so on and so on, but I do not believe that because there are more than two families on earth.

J: The people who are Jewish think it was nature and G-d

M: I think it was revolutions of nature. Some people think G-d and Mother Nature were the first people alive
J : Yeah,  some think they are married. And then they think he got divorced and married to another lady and had Jesus.
M: No Jesus is from Mary and the other man. No Joseph and Mary were longing for a child and G-d gave them a child.
Me; I do not believe that
M: Either do I. Jesus is for sure real right?
J: D said that some religious people say that G-d went down to earth like 90 years ago and because people were mean, he and Jesus thought that if he killed someone, people would be good. So they put Jesus on a stack with stuff in his hands (shows being on the cross) and he died like 49 years ago Before papi was born. Actually right before D(elia) was born.

M: The reason X resembles religion, is that Jesus was put in an X and he had no food and no water.

J: No, nails were stapled into him and that is why he died. But his head wasn't stapled.

Weekend Survived

We went to swim, we made it to family festival, back in time for F to return the car to the airport and to leave for Italia. M slept at her friend's house. I snuggled with J. I hung with the younger three at home until tía D came for bagels (yum) and then L came to take over. Gave J to tía S, tutored east, tutored west, got M at the playground from her friend (26 hour play date?) and came home. All are fed and bathed. Two are asleep. Two are reading. I am ready for adult time! J has glue and eyebrow hanging off of his face and is furious at me (oops). This week is going to be looooong without F but we have an anniversary (one week early ) getaway on Sat night so woo hoo!

J J J

With his arms outstretched: I am using my special force to make the toys come to me

to me: Why don't you have work?
I do.
Where?
Oh right.
But you do not have a big Spanish room (I do). I want you to have a better one.

Me: Can you not day damn at school please?
I don't.
I heard you put it on the list.
Damn is a d word. I put it on the list. I did not use it.

I have seen some funky cool teenagers, and even adults spit on the street.

J and I have been wrestling and negotiating for weeks to remove the glue from his face (from a cut in early Sept). He would not stay still, i was trying to remove it and part of his eyebrow came with it. It is dangling and he will not let me remove it and screamed: Now I look like a freaking freak.

Email From J's Teacher

For some added humor, I thought you would like to know the words that J has attempted to add to our word list this week (coupled with the definition of the word.) 

'Damn'-not the things beavers do. The word. You know "Damn it"

'Dick'- "No, not Dip, Dick. The word my sister says. It's a mean word.

I had to turn around for both words because he was straight-faced I was laughing so hard.

Go Go Go!

As V would say. His new obsession is CLEAN! He runs around gleefully with his plastic broom set, cleaning the whole house (the toy looks putrid already). Conversely, if he even glances at the closet with the vacuum in it, he starts to cry. I digress. Yesterday was exploding with activity but also with weird tidbits. See how many you can point out. I went to school and had a light day (one class was away on a trip). I took the train to tutee number one (73 St and Broadway) and had this weird feeling that school would need me. I uncharacteristically bought an ice cream from a food truck outside the subway. I asked for the smallest size. $5. Interesting. I tutored and thought "is my phone off?" A split second later my boss was calling me to ask something about my rug (renovation still not done!) I tutored when I got into the elevator I was in the biggest fart bubble of my life. I could not breather and then wondered if I would have the pleasure of trying to convey that it was not me. Thankfully nobody joined me. On my way to Mannes to meet MoJo (L picked them up), I stopped at the movie theater for my third attempt to get credit for stubs I got without my cool AMC rewards card. As I waited, I noted that a large soda is 52 oz, 1020 calories and $5.75. A large popcorn will set you pack 950 calories and $8. Fascinating. Once at Mannes, where the elevator was broken, I thought it weird that they were not downstairs. I went down, no kids. Up, no kids. Called. They were on the wrong floor. Winded. During class, I went down to buy a Suzuki book they did not have. More stairs. We headed home on the subway. Got home. Long wait for elevator. Broken. Stairs. Met babies and L. Dinner. Baths/showers. Tío D came. I asked him to give F his unlimited. I texted F to take D's unlimited. I went to tutor. Walked from home to 96 and 5th before a bus came. Love the MTA!! Finished tutoring on Park and 87 St. Splitting headache. Asked my mother to text F to bring Alleve. Met at theater. He brought me food (another request but no Alleve). $14 greasy grilled cheese with nasty tomato soup (easy to eat in the dark!). He did not bring the unlimited. How much money can we waste in one day? Long film. Sad. Slow. Piercing headache made me want to cry on the subway. Can I pay you to stop fucking playing the sax like crap? Held my head all the way home while F lamented a deep pain in his hand. Came home and fell asleep holding my head, while F rubbed his hand with tiger balm. Weird Wednesday. Here comes Thursday!        

J's Aphorism

You had your ship ready but it sailed away.

Weekend MoJo

J, holding a broken piece of his scooter - Can I have a rememory box? I will put all the things that were important to me in the rememory box.

M on what a popular (read mean) girl told her on a dress down day- She said I should have a bit more fashion and wear a suit because that is what the boys like. I should dress more practical (formal?) to get the boys.

F while out skateboarding with J- This is a crappy helmet
J- What do you expect? Santa probably does not know anything about skateboarding. He probably has like fifty or sixty elves helping him. I bet they are dumb, they probably have no brain.

M with Gatorade in her hand- This stuff is for real hydrating.

J on his five mile bike ride, exhilarated- Cause I was born in New York, I live in New York, and I will stay forever in New York!

J to M, his skateboard master- I want you to come every Saturday and every Whenday for four hours.

M- When you get pregnant you lose the joy of the belly button ring.

How Booked Is Too Booked?

I just looked at my planner and I want to cry. On Wednesday afternoon, I have to be in four different places at the same time. I (stupidly) got NYFF tickets for every night of the week except for Tuesday. That night I am tutoring. Oh and I am tutoring Wed afternoon and evening before the film. Oh, and Friday is a doubleheader. Saturday morning we rented a car. We will all go to swimming class, drive to family festival (school event on Travers Island), and then come home in time for F to catch a flight to Italia. From Sat afternoon to Friday afternoon I will be on my own for evenings and mornings. Thank goodness for L, without whom I could not live! Better go take a nap now while AleVit sleeps, father and son bike, and M melts her brain with TV.

MoJo Banter

J when he found $1 on the subway platform: This has been my dream for a long time. All of the bills I have are from abuelo L.
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J: M says she is going to run away but I am going to stay with my parents to have the chance for them to protect me.
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J on the subway out of the blue: I am the luckiest boy in the world!
__
M: Do you know that men eat men?
Me: Yes, they are called cannibals.
J: Do girls eat girls?
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J's Chinese piano teacher: The day you eat is the day you practice.
J, a couple of days later: I guess I am not eating today.

J's Am Thought

I am awake but I cannot open my eyes because of the eye buggers next to them.
__
Can you put more milk in the (finished cereal) bowl so I can Scottish it?
(apparently means drink out of the bowl to him?!$@)

Updates

Time is flying by, we are almost at October. Whoa! AleVit and MoJo are up to their usual shenanigans.  V is talking like he is a talk show host, non-stop chatter in multiple languages. He said "gracias mamá" to me (with no prompting today) which was super cute. Every time I sit V in his high chair he asks "carne?" "pasta?" It is never too early for fusilli or some chicken tenders. Even Marcel Marceau is trying to speak. After she yanked a water bottle from her other half, I said "take turns"- tell him "mi turno"- she repeated "mi too-noh" a la deaf. A's new signature move is squinting her eyes like she is a bad ass with an occasional  lower jaw jutting out with her lower teeth over her bottom lip. This little girl is fuh-nee. I am sorry to report that while helping me with laundry today (she actually does help schlep from the dryer to the bed) she opted to get into the dryer (not the first time). As I folded the laundry I heard her calling me, from far away. Yup, V closed the door. She was only in there for 45 seconds but I realize that a 19 month old in a dryer is not a great display of parenting. MoJo on the older end is doing well, uncharacteristically well behaved for the most part. M is taking sewing and loving it, reading like a maniac, and almost turning 8 (aaaahhhh!). J is into Mannes, loves karate, and is in love with his new He-Man action figure. He sleeps with him and brings him to school. He asked us recently if he could save his bicycle for his son. That is all I gots for now. Ate too much (surprise!) and I am watching too much Dexter. More soon. Over and out.

This Evening...

M to J: Who do you like better, M (his bff) or me?
J: You, 'cause you are my sister.
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J: They do not make any more good inventions anymore. I am going to invent a motorcycle that shoots candy.
______
M to J: Is there anything weird about my body?
J: One thing. You walk weird, like papi said. You need shoes that support you.
M: Is that it?
J: Yes, you have pimples.
M: Those are freckles. Anything else? This is your last chance to tell me anything weird about my body.
J: That we both have outies, and we are not even identical twins.
M: We do not have outies, we have innies.
M: You missed it, I have a piece of celery in my pj pants.
____

Weekend Banter

J: I want to look at myself, but not in the mirror and not in a reflection, I just want to see myself.

J: Can we empty out a room in our house to make a gym for me? We can make it neat and put in the equipment that I need to get muscles.

J to me about A running around with a box of tampons: Mamá, she has your ear wax! (ear cleaners?)

M to me about A who was irking her as she watched tv: Can you cure the crying?
Me (laughing) : Cure it?
M, pissed!: You have four children and she is your fourth. You should know how to handle a baby when it is crying.

J: I do not like G-d. I am not Jewish. But I like that song they sing in chapel with halleliula.

J: This is the worst day of my life.
M: The worst day of your life is the day you die. Or your girlfriend leaves you.
J: I will not have a girlfriend.

J after being sent to bed early for talking about shit in food (classy, I know) : This is the worst day of my life. First I had to wrestle, then I fell off my bike, then they demand me, then they send me to bed without dessert. I hate this day!

Play It Again Sam!

J had his first piano lesson yesterday. He was focused and enthusiastic. That is the good news. The bad news is that I am expected to attend all lessons and to take note so I can help him practice. I am also expected to buy a piano (the teacher talked about this for way too long at the beginning of the lesson). With her chubby arms and thick Russian accent she measured, in the air, the size of a bench. "You do not have this much room in your house to put the piano?" If only she knew. When I asked J if he could understand her (I struggled), he quipped "she is a little British, but I understand her."

I Am In Love

with a very old lady, you may remember her from posts past. She has Alzheimer's among other things and she spends her days at the nursing home where I take my students every Thursday morning. She has a potty mouth, piercing blue eyes, a sad smile and a frail body. I always find her in the hallway, with her coat on, at 10 am, waiting to leave (it is a full day program). When she gives me advice, I listen, and when she smiles at me, even though she has no idea who I am, my hear melts a little. I do not know why I love this little lady so much, but when I found her today, after fearing she might have died over the summer, I felt butterflies in my stomach. She will never know who I am, but she seems to like me every week when she meets me again, for the first time. Please don't die KL.

Curriculum Night- Check

Ooh, glad that is over. Long day. Had to wait until 4:15pm to get kids, M was in her first sewing class ("I got to iron!") and J had karate. Rushed home (cab, damn the m4), made dinner, said hi to babies for 3 seconds, greeted babysitter number 2. Oversaw MoJo shower/bath, showered made myself presentable. Walked back to school (fuck the m4). Did two mini nursery presentations while M and J's class presentations were going on (F was at M's). Went to part of M's (did not learn much about second grade). Went back to my classroom to greet parents and talk about curriculum for 1 plus hours. Came home (thank you m4), about to eat homemade gnocchi (not the best for my fat ass but delicious) and watch some Dexter. Pass out. Go to school and bus it to some island for a field day. OOOh OOOh week 2 of school is almost done!
PS THANK GOODNESS for L, the childcare saint and savior. She put 12 hours in with those monkeys today!

Happy Birthday!

to the bride and groom to be. Your last (unmarried) birthday. Cannot wait for the big day. Love jew both!!

Today's Comments

M to J when he was talking about the google earth they are going to invent that will see in people's houses: I am sorry I have other plans. I need to become a doctor first. Then when I am like 40 I can join this plan to become spys and add a way to go into people's homes with google earth to look at tetas.
___
J looking at a muscle magazine: I want two big bumps like that on my arms.

MoVit?

M asked me to give her challenging words to spell and I could not stump her (they have to words she has heard of). Examples:
vehicle
vegetable
dumb
comb
laugh
daughter
spaghetti

any ideas on words I can stump her with?

Clearly V is related to M. He is a talking MACHINE. He looks at pictures and names people and animals (like Chloe? A dog he has not seen in months!) He names people who are not here and says "se fue." He can name all of his BT teachers (some have multisyllabic names!) and likes to tell me what belongs to whom (Bike. Papi Bike). He cracks me up!

J Screaming Out The Window

Excuse me, can you please stop chopping down that tree? It is bad for nature.
Me: I think he is done and probably gone.
Him: I do not want him to cut down somebody else's tress because they could love it more.

J Today

J: Papi you have to stop to say things to me in Italian that I have not even heard of. That goes for mami too.
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J: You are teaching me good manners. Like not to put my feet on the table and how to sit at the table. I am still working on that one.

Just Now

J: Can you stop buying a thousand boxes of tortellini? I like fafalline better. (AleVit addicted to tortellini and I do give MoJo many leftovers. The latter is farfalle.)

M: Forget the neighborhood, that is not hard with all of those rude moms out there,  I think you might be one of the best moms in the S-T-A-T-E. Actually, I think there is a slight chance that you might be one of the nicest. But another is probably Michelle Obama

J: But those moms that let their kids have all the candy, they seem like good moms, but they are the baddest ones.

M: Most rules are for your manners, your health, or so you do not get hurt.
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Me: Did you just pinch your sister?
J: Sorry. I got excited. It was a life moment. (what?!?!?)
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M: Mamá, do you think I will make a good doctor?
Me: Yes, of course. You will be excellent.
M: Well I think I when I am tired of that, or 65 and ready to retire, I think I will become a teacher.

From Today- Hot Off Their Lips!

M: My new French teacher is not strict but she means business.
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Me: Should you show them dangerous stuff?
J: No, not at this age.
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M on a roll: 95% of my meltdowns are caused by J annoying me...

It is unrealistic that I can control myself all of the time when J is annoying me...

Everybody in this family knows when I am going to have a meltdown, even J. I know he is not going to do this because he is him, but it would be nice if he stopped bothering me when he knows that I am about to have a meltdown.

J's answer: There are some good times and there are some bad times.
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Me to J outside his classroom (his second time there): Should I go in with you?  (the room was full of parents)
J: Why don't you  not?  (dagger to the heart)
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J: If you think about it, I am almost fourteen.
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J when I told him we did not have room for a play car (for him to drive): Can we buy a vacation house with a garage?
M: You are insane. we are trying to save up to move.

What M Read This Summer

27 Books.
No Joke.
More Than I have Read in YEARS.
Top is all Dahl, middle Magic Tree House, then Diary of A Wimpy Kid plus many light (Chocolate Fever) and not so light (Alice in Wonderland) others.

T"was The Night Before School

Or the morning before the morning before school I guess. Well, today is the day I finally get to see and be in my new classroom. As exciting and amazing as the renovations are, I was basically a waste of space and time in my school last week. We have not been able to get onto the second floor. Today is the day I need to make it happen- unpack boxes (which I can only hope are there), arrange furniture (which I have never seen), pray for the computer/Smartboard to be connected (although I have been told that I can only use it for display, they are no interactive yet), and wrap my mind around the start of school. J only has 1!! hour of school tomorow so we are still not in the child care clear. Yesterday we had our first swim lesson (all but J) and the babies did not love it. A, who pounded the beach, cried most of the time (cold? bored?) and V enjoyed it until he didn't, and then we had a chorus of crying, with 50% of the class (AleVit) unwilling to be dipped any more, sing any more, and eager to exit the pool. More later. Buona domenica!

Here We Go Again

J got a gash above his eyebrow while playing at home. I did not think much of it but when F came home he deemed it stitch worthy. What a pain! F took him to the ER, our home away from home, Mt Sinai and 2.5 hours later (and *(&#*& $200 copay!) J was back home, glued up and ready to sleep. This means he will miss swimming (we are all six! going to be hitting the pool every Saturday this fall) on Saturday but that his handsome face will have a smaller scar. Never a dull moment!

In!

J got into Mannes. I am not even sure that this indicates any talent but I am thrilled. They apparently let me know last week but I never got the message. It sometimes pays to be persistent (ie a ball buster). Post interview I emailed the head of admissions a song he composed with tío D and then I emailed her today to inquire when we might have a response. J is of course indifferent to having gotten in and already told me he is not going. I am so happy that he has this opportunity!

Recent Lines

J: I have one word for you: Meet-cha-there
Me: That is not one word.
J: Ok, three. Meet-cha-there.
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J: I like my new (converse) sneakers. They are comfortable and cool and teenagerey and they make me dance good.
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J: Do you think I could be president?
Me: Sure, if you want to be.
M: I am not saying it should be me, but I think the next president should be female.
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Me: Sorry I got so angry.
M: It's okay, I would be much worse.
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M as she donned her "Thing 1" Dr. Seuss shirt: I cannot believe I am one of four!
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M: I think Obama should go again.

Blast From The Past

I just dropped off J at tío D's house for music. His apartment, as most of you know, was originally my father's, then mine, then C's and now his. There are many memories there to say the least. As soon as I got off of the subway with A in the ergo and J holding my hand, it seemed like we were in the middle of a choreographed trip down memory lane. First I saw the deaf man. For years this elderly neighbor entertained me with his mute slapstick communication. All of his stories were about him not being married, not having money, and dying soon. There were pretty much only three gestures involved in his   tales. He was crossing the street and did not see me. The we saw Mehmet, the Turkish fruit stand guy who used to give baby M a free banana every time we passed. When I lived there I began to find ways to avoid that corner, for I felt very guilty taking so many bananas for him and he would not take no for an answer. J wanted to go over to him but not to say hello. I said we were only going if he was going to  say hi. During this tug of war Mehmet noticed us and called us over. One free banana for each kid. He remembered J's name and asked about M and my sister. What a memory! As we proceeded down 94th Street, another neighbor appeared. Our next door neighbor with a hoarding and garbage problem but lots of wigs smiled to me as she hobbled up the street. Remember her? Finally on the stoop was the once handsome and super skinny drug dealer neighbor. His parents were nice, his son so sweet, and he was always up to no good. Skinny dealer is now fat dealer and I imagined how many visits to McDonald's it took to get so heavy so fast. As if on cue, he asked J to give him five and said "what's up little man?" liked he used to say to him four years earlier when he was in a stroller. D's apartment looked pretty good. I opened the closet to get out my wedding albums and found them in three seconds. So many items in those closets. Who knew how good we had it when the walls were plastered with storage space. One day I will have to go over there to deal with my belongings. For now, four years and two kids after moving out, it was nice just to stroll into that previous life, with so many old characters in place, just for a little while.

Calando Huevos

Today we thought we would wrap up the summer break with a bike ride! For only $12! we rented two adult bikes with baby seats, all the helmets, and set out with the other monkeys to ride in Central Park. M got angry about the hills and uttered such goodies like "I am going to kill the person who invented family bike rides" and "I rather get stung by fifty bees than do this" or "this is the worst day of my life." The rest of us were having a ball, especially A, riding behind me, who dedicated herself to kicking me and trying to lift my shirt off. At one point in M's meltdown we saw some Spaniards on bikes. The eldest daughter, who could not have been younger than eighteen, was complaining more than M. I tried to give her a tip about the gears, she yelled at her mother "Joder, estoy yendo como cagando huevos (literally shitting eggs, I am assuming referring to her effort because she was in the wrong gear). I had a full throttle laughing attack and turned around to see F was also cracking up. Cagando huevos, very poetic. Moments later J said "let's go mamá, let's catch up to calando huevos!" This summer has been long, it has been impossibly trying, super fun, full of activities... I am not sure I would do it again (not work a single hour and always be with children) but I am lucky to have had the luxury of having it. Goodbye summer 2012 and hello 2012-13 school year. Off to work in the morning!

Old But Good (Found in Drafts- Excuse Any Repeats)

Me to M: Can you be quieter please? A is sleeping.
M: No, I cannot, it is my personality.
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M: Have you ever wanted to kill me?
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Me: Are you done being sneaky?
M? J? I think I am.
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J, The Mafia Man

J: Do me the favor or I will never do you a favor again in your life.
Me: Really?
J: Yes, I can make that happen.