Oh What a Twodler Day!

AleVit started their day by taking the subway, with their 9 month pregnant aunt to BT (brave on both of our parts). They were apparently impeccably behaved at 7am as they headed for a special (auction won) breakfast pre BT hours. V later reported:I have pancakes with sauce in the toddler room. The sauce is sticky in BT.

As if there were not enough of an aberration from our schedule, A went for a special play date with a classmate after BT. She got picked up by the mother, went to their house, had dinner and ice cream, played, and came home at 6:30pm (what a curfew!!) on a bicycle (with a helmet), with her friend's dad. If that is not a kicking social life for a 2.4 year old, I do not know what is!

Little Talk

V, as F cursed looking for his keys : Papi- you don't have your keys? Use your hand to close the door!

A, whispering to her teacher at BT: I drink mamá's coffee.

V: Abuelo L not do a sorpresa to me in playground today.

Me: Querés que me enoje (do you want me to get mad)?
V, smiling: Yeah.

Me: Sit down and finish your dinner.
J: I am sick and tired of you bossing me around.

Busy Bees

This weekend has been bursting with MoJo activity. We had M's first piano recital on Friday (she did very well and the whole event was only 15 min long!). Sat am brought the usual triple swim, followed by the unusual schlep to midtown for J (from swimsuit to tie and jacket), who participated in a special piano concert with his piano teacher. Playground in the pm rounded out the day followed by 7!! 45 min episodes of The Killing (I recommend this show) that kept us up until 1:40am. Poor choice. J began to cry (as did A) and the am brought a dr's appt (J has an ear infection) and a swim meet for M (J abstained). Duo behaved like maniacs at the pool (A stripped down to her diaper, wore goggles and insisted she was swimming, V threw a croc in the pool) and I took them home once F arrived with our mohawked ear infected J. M got a first (breast stroke) and two third (freestyle and backstroke) ribbons. Yay! Off to Costco & Target before we go do a family father's day celebration. Camp begins tomorrow!

Yesterday/Today

J: When I die can you bury me with all of my stuffed animals?

V: I fight a big doggie.
teacher: Kids do not fight doggies. It is dangerous. You need to be gentle.
V: I fight a little doggie?

V when he could not make the park water fountain work: No tiene baterías?

V to an intern at BT who was about to change him: You need blubs (gloves)!

Me: Hoy viene papá!
A: I'm going to kiss him!

J after listening to a conversation about labor: It is like poop. You have to push!

J (while pooping): I am about to get very hungry because food is coming out of me. I am undigesting. Is that a word?

These Kids...

J to F as we walked up Lenox Ave; Let's have some me and you time when we get home and play with my action figures okay?

J when I told M that she looked like a young lady, gesturing breasts: This process already started.

J when he saw two dead bees: Please can I have them? I have been alive for six years and I have never seen a dead bee!

V to himself in the car: Don't throw up!

Me to M re Harry Styles (her celebrity crush) and Taylor Swift: You are more interesting than Taylor Swift but you are a little young for Harry Styles.
J: And he would not like you because you do not have boobs or hair on your butt or your conchita

Things To Remember, Be Thankful For, Record

Abuelo L flying from MIA to NYC for 29 hours to take MoJo to see Paul McCartney! Once in a lifetime experience!

J's first mohawk- hours before the concert. Rock it!

Leaving the house without a stroller recently and seeing the parade of little people going down the ramp, all mine, all talking and walking. Crazy.

Seeing tía C, about to become a mother, maybe for the last time sans bebé- in for the ride of her life. About to become an aunt for the first time!! Will any other sibling give me sobrinos before I am in a wheel chair??

Attending my 20th (WTF?) high school reunion and remembering who all the asshole were/are- some things never change!

One more day of school and then moving up, graduation, camp prep.... each school year goes by increasingly fast. By fall I will have a first grader, a third grader and two kids in the Big Kids Room! How did this happen?

Midget Talks

V: I threw my babero. Mamá's gonna scream. Are you watching "Good Luck Charlie"? I am.
(he narrates his every thought like this very often)

J to me: Your hair is dull.
Me: Boring or not shiny?
J: It is not fresh.

A, every time I drink coffee: Mamá, mamá, I try jew coffee? A sip?

A & V every time we leave without the stroller: I run ahead?

J: I am going to be a robber when I grow up.
Me: What?
J: If I cannot get a job.

V: L se porta mal. She jump on my bed. She was bleebing (yes with a b). She write on the wall with a lápiz. She throw food.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

one day late but still heartfelt- happy anniversary to E & C who next time this year will celebrate as 3!!

Más

V to A as he pushed his stroller: Excuse me dalring!

M to V showing him pictures of One Direction: Who do you like the best?
V: I like the Beatles!

V to anyone who will listen: My little doggy is going to bite you!

V to A: Is your oatmeal hot?
A: No.
V: Is it bueno?
A: Yeah
V: Oh, ok (I love hearing their random conversations)

A this am: Mama, mama, mama (the more excited we are the more we stutter), do you want to play a game?

V, who clearly has the memory of an elephant like his sister M: I want to go to Miami.
Me: Qué hay en Miami?
V: I wanna see the flowers in the pool.
Me: Qué más?
V: Churros!
Me: Qué más?
V: Some buckets.

V: I am going to make the music (bangs) and you can dance A!
A: No!
V: Dance! When I stop the music you stop. I need a guitar.

I wish there were a baby memory competition. V would kick baby butt. He could also make us rich as a voiceover actor for cartoons, if he would just learn his lines.

Recently

Me: Why do you have a lunch box?
J: I put my little stuffed animals there for a time out, or to carry them.

J: When they invented the word "computer", did it take like 100 years for computers to then be invented?

V running to tío D with a stethoscope: I am a doctah foh youuuuu Daybihd!

M: Jackson is on the $20 bill.
J: Michael Jackson or Jackson Pollock?

J: Can we get puppets like in What About Bob? to talk to each other?

J: I do not want to change presidents. I do not want a world without Arock Obama.

Lines

V-I want pasta. More pasta.
F- There is no more pasta.
V- I want potatoes. Two big potatoes.
F- We do not have any.
V- I want pretzels. Big pretzels

J to F- There is a line in your armpit. Probably a mimp (convinced this is the word for pimple) or something. Why did you get a permanent tattoo? Why does it hurt?

J to F- You cannot sword fight like that with a bald head. You need a hoodie or a hat. You cannot be cool with a bald head.

J- I want my birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. There are games and there is Chuck and you get a crown. What would you want more?

J to me- They are playing with an ear cleaner again (tampon)!

J at hip hop show- I am going to dye my skin brown.

V at 9:30pm at night after having taken dramamine- I like the car!

J- The importantest things in the world are trees and money. Trees give you oxygen and money gets you food and toys.

M, about to cry in the bathroom right after our return from PA- I miss (tía) C. Why does she have to live in stupid Philadelphia? (I second that emotion/question)

Whirlwind

The last few days have been. I had a dear friend here from out of town so lots of meals. I had to finish over 90 reports. I did the Aids Walk in the rain (thank you for your support!) and I am tutoring up the whazoo as  my kids are prepping for exams.  Tired. Will blog good lines soon. Night night.

Excerpts from M's Sentence Notebook (Sentences with Spelling Words)

Being strong is something excellent.
I like writing but, it's not my favorite.
Four is more than 1 (Duh).
Golden is my second least favorite color.
I can be unkind when I am mad.
My baby brother smashed our radio to pieces.
I always like to finish an argument.
My dad has a hairy chest.
I have never seen anything hatch.
I drink all drinkable liquids.
I'm not the only kid in my family, there are others.
I am very bad at digging.
My parents say my body is perfect, not fat, not skinny.
My aunt S' dog is fuzzy.
I am not that lazy.
I can be very silly or very mature.
My brother is SO good at waking me up.

Big Boy Bed (BBB)

V got a hand me down toddler bed yesterday. He was very excited to go to bed. He looked so big sleeping in a real (mini) bed. In the middle of the night he woke up calling for F, who found him sitting on the floor, confused, by the bed. A is getting hers tomorrow ( a bed that we got third generation handed down, gave to a friend who passed it to a neighbor, who is giving it back to us) and then bedtime will really get interesting. Another vestige of babyhood out the door.

Some Lines

J: If you do not let me quit swimming I am going to get adopted.

V to A as they fought about whose motorbike a motorbike on the street was: That my motorbike. A, relax. I get you a motorbike purple.

J: I want to make a law that dogs wear a leash on their belly so it does not hurt their neck.

J: Can I one day have drum lessons with Ringo?

J's Arguments for Getting a Pet Turtle

1. I want something to love me besides my family
2. I want to see turtle poop.
3. I want to see what they can survive and can't.
4. I want to have something to teach.
5. I want something to shop for.
6. I want something that I can love.
7. I want something to show off.
8. I want to teach him how to be a ninja turtle.
9. I want to teach him how to skateboard.
10. I want him to be a test turtle. If I want to know if the zucchini is good I will make him try it.
11

. I am going to feel happy when I set him free.

Delinquents & Fiddlers

This weekend M was a Jewish village child in our school's production of Fiddler on the Roof. She was beaming and so cute. She sang in many songs and reminded me so much of how I adored acting in musicals as a kid.

J's teacher confiscated (and gave me) his Lego Moleskine notebook. On the bright side, he began to write (inventive spelling) and draw. On the not so hot side, most of his drawings were porn (very clear genitalia for a not so sophisticated artist) and he enjoyed narrating the scenes to his classmates.

AleVit's new thing is to ask me to sing "arrorró" to them at bed/naptime. While that sounds sweet, they proceed to belt it out like a show tune, undermining the point of a lullaby. They crack each other up!

Más Chatter

Kindergarten boy while making a self portrait: Girls have longer eyelashes because they are more sensitive-y

J to V: You are really busting my nerds.

M on a large piece of rolled up paper: From Anonymous to A.F. (8th grade boy): I LOVE YOU.

J, disgusted at the littering on the street: When I grow up  I am not going to be a scientist, I am going to be a garbage man!

J: I have a feeling that at some point in my life I will go to jail.

M to me: Why are you so interested in us behaving well?

J massaging a chicken at the supermarket: Can I admire him since he was killed for us to eat?

J when I beat him in a race in which I was pushing a stroller: You won because you have six legs and four are wheels.

J: Can I officially grow up to have no job?

J: Can we get a pet?
Me: No.
J: A pet bee?

J: Can you get me sparkling white pants and a shirt? Shiny.

V when I bumped into him by BT: Mamá, go cook!

A, thrashing outside our neighbor's home (they were out): Mom! Mom! I want to see mom! (Not me)

Good Times

for real. Had a great last two weeks or so. Auction is over. Was not as lucrative as I hoped but it was fine. Work with filmmaker and subsequent writing and correspondence has been exciting. More on that later. Watching Central Park Five and it is outrageous- never give in to pressure when you are on a jury- you may ruin MANY lives. Depressing shit- hope to blog on that later. MoJo and AleVit lines coming tomorrow too I hope. BT Spanish was phenomenal last week. My group of 2 two and three year olds played animal charades; it was incredible! I am off to sleep before the new week begins. Notte!

More Backlog of Lines

J to F: You guys love me less because I am different than you.
F: Why?
J: Because I believe in G-d and you do not. I am Jewish and you are not.
____
J: Do not tell people the funny things I say. I want it to be personal.
___
J: Can we move to Singapore? I am sick of all of the gum on the sidewalk. It is disgusitng.
___
M: Would you have married papi if he looked like how he does now?
__
J: Can you make me spinach and carrots and milk every day so I can have strong bones and eyes?
__
J: Girls have three privates and boys have two. Actually girls have four, six if you count the niblets.
___
Me: We are going to ask the restaurant for a gift certificate for the auction.
J: They will give it you if they think you are pretty.
__
J: Were you born in the 1880's?
__
M to J : You should put less pressure on mamá and appreciate her more. Lots of kids do not even get to leave the country like we do.
__
J: I would kill myself to save you.
__
J: Can you punish me so I cannot watch tv? While M watches tv, I want to learn to read. So please punish me so I can learn to read.

I Am

Sitting in my living room after a day at school followed by music school, picking M up with J, coming home for dinner etc and jetting out to tutor. Fresh direct is coming between 10-11:30pm. Opted to not watch crap TV and eat but rather sit down (avec du vin) to transcribe my interview with Shannon. I feel invigorated. What an honor to have met such a cool woman, filmmaker. Now I need to get my rusty intellectual and writing wheels going to bang out a decent piece to post and hopefully promote her film. If you see it playing ANYWHERE, make sure to see Towheads (2013). I will be sharing my interview and review of the film on skipriporplay.com soon! Here's to using my brain for film this evening!

Backlog of Lines...

J: For Halloween, can we dress up at Family Times?

J: Tomorrow night I am going to escape

J, during an episode of Family Times where the mother is in labor: Why don't they show her pa-china?

J: So many things happen in life.

J, rubbing my back: Wax on, wax off.

J: When I am a grown up I am going to be like MLK and defend animals.

V, as I stood on the window sill yelling at M for breaking the blinds: Do you need help?

V, looking down at his worn down "new" hand me down boots: My shoes are cool. My shoes are dirty.

V & A every 15 minutes, toddler 1: I don't like it!
toddler 2 (they alternate roles) : I don't like it either!
Note that is A is saying this overused line, she pauses in between each word, jutting her chin out for emphasis.

M: Are you the tooth fairy and Santa and all of those characters? Do not tell me because I do not want you to spoil it for me but please tell me when I am older.

J: I am too busy. I do not want to go swimming any more. I need the whole weekend to relax.

J: This family is having a real rough time today.

Me to J: You cannot say "fucking asshole to your sister."
J: I did not. My action figure called another action figure "fuck ass"
( I feel better now).

V Oh V

V is a maniac at bed time. He is like a one man show. He knows I will close the door if he does not at least try to go to sleep. As he jumped in the pack and play making it move all over the room at bedtime, he chanted "Close the door. Hurry up! Close the door." When he subsequently got out of his crib again, I asked M to tell him to go back in or I would be angry. He came running into my room with a big grin and said "I am happy." The last time I went into his room (I passed the task along to tío D as I was leaving to tutor), I found him on the top bunk. The glitter in his eye and the smirk on his face as he waits for my reaction in these situations is priceless. He said laughing as I hoisted him down: You are leaving? I am leaving!

As I got A to wear her first nightgown, V asked me to put a (tiny- it was in a pile to give away) Asian dress on him. I asked him if he was sure (he is a very cute girl too). As soon as he was in it he twirled! He looked like a sausage in it but it seemed like the thing to do.

Images to Remember

In the midst of being a NYSAIS prisoner in school, tutoring like a maniac and the MTA sucking on the same day as there was some fucking parade that paralyzed the city, here are some images/stories I want to remember:

Last night I turned around as I was watching dishes, MoJo was on the couch finishing a movie, it was past bed time. What do I see? V, in his Superman pajamas (his belly is so large and his blonde hair so long that he looks hilarious in it!) just standing in the middle of the living room. He got out of the crib, came down the stairs, and thought he would watch some Grease with the big kids.

Yesterday at nap, I left the room (mistake- need to stand guard from the get go) and came back to V on the top bunk. He was waiting for me to yell, but I did not (I am practicing self control) and he did a little shake and said "Yeah!" to me. He fell asleep right away while A, drove me crazy for an hour until I canceled her nap.

J woke up with his tooth, which has been loose for a while now, in a horizontal position. So gross! He did not really brush his teeth or eat but refused to try to take it out. A friend of his told me "his tooth is wiggling hard." I tried to bribe him, no dice. His teacher convinced him (also with a bribe) and when she went to put her hand in his mouth, he jerked away and the tooth fell out. Glad I missed that one!

I realized that I lost many funny lines that I thought I posted yesterday. Not posted. Or saved. Sad. Will try to reconstruct, but very frustrating! Good night. One day of NYSAIS and two of F in Brazil- done!!

Coming to a Head!

Everything that could be at a "I need your attention now" point is there. My school is having their 10 year accreditation visit starting Sunday (so I need to prepare lesson plans, make my room look impeccable, dress better etc), F is leaving for Brazil on Saturday. I need to churn out the auction catalog NOW- it is in a little over two weeks. I have the chance to interview a filmmaker whose film I loved (first time I have asked someone for an interview of this sort) and she said yes! (but when?) and the chance of buying a three bedroom may be real. Oh yes, that would involve me cleaning out our current home and painting it to show it to sell it first. Do you see what I mean? WTF? I need to make it through the next two weeks and then I can make it through anything I guess. Did I mention that A and V no longer follow a bedtime routine? They get out (V instigates) or V screams and demands that I, or someone stay there. It is a horrible regression and puts a big crimp in my tutoring style, which assumes that I can leave the quartet with ONE sitter so that I can tutor at a normal hour. If that person needs to wrestle the duo, it is unlikely that the other two can go to bed normally.... a disaster. F put the side back on A's crib, which covered in black duct tape, just makes the room even more orphanage like than it was before. Hey, at least I paid my taxes- that was on my to do list for weeks! Off to make dinner and to tutor. May the force be with me.

Lines

As J spoke disparagingly of an old babysitter I asked what was wrong with her: She had tone. She only babysat us for money.
__
A and V whenever they see our neighbor (her son is their friend): Mom! Mom! Look mom! (no matter how many times I tell them her name they insist).
__
A to V this am: V, are you crazy? (this sentence was uttered at least 6 times by my mother yesterday when we went over to her house for the first time since V's new turbo mode)

Long Time No Post

Miami is now a distant memory, even if a fun one. Family was fab, food delicious, park and beach great, and everyone was very patient with the hurricane that our presence is in anyone's home.

Here are some recent lines:

J on his snails to abuelo: Take care of them. They are part of our family now.

J to me as I woke him up very early to leave for the airport: I love you mamá. Sorry I said those mean things (referring to an incident the day before- too sweet).

V: I want to go home! I need to go home. (was not sure what he meant when we are in Miami and I am even less sure now that we are home).

J at the airpot: I take back everything mean I said. This is the best family!

J in the car: I get it now. Abuelo R is your father and Abuela S is your mother. Grandpa and VH are your stepparents (hallelujah!)

Me to J: Abuelo R did not make me a sandwich, I am jealous.
J: That is because he is an old man now, he takes care of us.

J looking at the American flag in Miami: Why do they have our flag here? This is not America.

Me taking to tía C: I do not care.
V, chiming in: I do not care either!

J to M: Is Billy Joel still married to the lady from the (Uptown Girl) video?
M: No, they are divorced.
J: It is a shame, she was a sexy lady.

J to tía E:You know what's not normal? We are in the same family and we never see you guys naked. Me: J. she is a girl and you are a boy, so that is pretty normal that you do not see her naked. Do you want to see abuelo naked?
J: No thank you. He is rusty and hairy. Disgusting. Revolting.
Me: You will be hairy and rusty too one day.
J: No. Yuck!

Mini Banter

V: I salgo cama. Awesome.

V, as he shoved pasta into his mouth with his fist: A, use your fork!

A now loves grabbing coins from a big vat my father has. She rubs her fingers together on both hands  and says: mama, my money. Mucho money. This evening she showed me a window sill where she was collecting pennies. She proudly counted them for me and also showed me the cat food she was eating.

Getting Into The Groove

Yesterday was a good day. We beached it up in the morning and spent the afternoon in a playground with a friend with kids. Oh yes, on the way to the playground the car started making weird noises until it began to smell and smoke and come to a full and complete stop. On the side of the road. With the heat. And the four kids. Another reason I could never be a driver. Luckily for us, our friends were near by and came to pick me and the four kids up. Just like with the lock, F was out of commission as he waited for AAA to come tow the truck. After the triumvirate of vomit, lock and car, I am hoping for a respite. Why oh why didn't I borrow some high chairs? Some little prison like system for these two tornadoes. Today's highlights include A and V opening neighbor's door only to be met by their dogs. V also emptied a bottle of Alleve, sprayed bug spray onto a toothbrush, spilled a wheel barrow's worth of water onto the floor... You get the idea. We are one third of the way through the day. I hope a nap and some fun in the sun awaits today.

Más Miami

J- When I am a teenager I am moving to Miami.

Me to A: si no te calmas te voy a tirar por la ventana (if you do not calm down I am Ingrid to throw you out the window).
A: la ventana se rompe.

J to abuelo: When I die do you think I will go to heaven and meet G-d or just lay there like the (imitates a roach in its back)?

M to me: Good news, I lost a pound in the last hour!

Vacation From My Vacation

I forgot that being n vacation actually involves double the work, but in an unfamiliar environment. These kids are in rare form. They did not nap and they are currently getting out of their pack and plays over and over again cracking themselves up. The last time I left the room I opened the door to find V in the suitcase and A running amok. V just threw his pacifier and lovvie at me and is dismantling the crappy pack and play. Did I mention that it is bright as day in the room they are in? Bedtime is going to be a daily issue. F  Has been working on a lock problem or my father, who is at work, for the past 2.5 hours. Ad he is not done. He just told me that he is going to a hardware store. Okay, I convinced him to go later. I am exhausted and we have been here less than a day. The plane ride was pretty rough as A never stayed still, she was on me of course, and constantly tried to put boogers on me, take my shirt off, head butt me, twist my neck skin into my chain. You get the idea, sheer relaxation. The only cool thing I did was get both kids on the plane without paying for their tickets. If we manage to do it again, we will have saved $900. We could of course, get caught not he way back. Other highlights of the day include V moaning  the whole way on the cab, only to have  A, what tricksters, vomit her brains out a few feet, literally, from the airport. I am off to do some major vomit laundry. May the little ones go to sleep at some point soon. The weather is nice...

J Lines

J, to nobody in particular in the tub with V: Don't mess with my brother or you are messing with the big guy!

Me; Who are you talking to ?

J : practicing for when he gets bullied

By the way, the plant is not stable. If it tips over, the roots can get uncomfortable.

Look at my belly. I am not going to grow up to be a strong man. I am going to grow up to be a fat man.

Mamá- trust us, we are your kids.

Back From The Dead

This has been quite a week. J began to get droopy and lethargic on Saturday. Without going on and on, I can tell you that the last five days were crazy. Each day he seemed weaker and would just sit or lay down everywhere. He spent most of Tuesday at the nurse. When he was awake he was catatonic-like most of the time. I took him to the doctor on Tues. Doctors, it turns out, do not have many answers. He did not have strep, he was not anemic. Instant depression? A rare disease? The weirdest part was no other symptom. No pain, no fever, no cold, no diarrhea, no nada. Yesterday he stayed home and slept almost entire day. Napped from 8-11am from 2-5 pm and was in bed at 6:45pm. At 3:30 am he came to my bed full of energy to say "I have two pillows, do you want to sleep in my bed?" To make him be quiet, I went to his bed. He continued: "Do you think Papi is lonely now?" Me: I don't know. You can go back to my bed, I am staying here in yours. J: "I know. I was just thinking." Thankfully he went back to sleep and when he awoke at 7am, he was back to his usual whistling, karate chopping self. It was very strange and sudden. A virus? A growth spurt? Sudden and acute depression? All I know, is that I am happy he is back. V is now high on the radar, the worst behaved two year old I ever had. More on that later. Never. A. Dull. Moment. NADM!

New Ones

J watching F write the check for $100 for the BS fine; $100 for vacation? Are you serious? He should be fired!
____
J; Can you do that? A big favor for your son. Ice cold water. A little deal. Would you do that for your greatest son? Yeah! yeah!
____
Me to V: Mi gordito
V: Mi panza.
Me: Dónde está la panza?V: Se fue.
_____
V to A, crib side is finally dead and she now sleeps in it with no side: A-lita, sale cama! (she did a few times but for the most part basks in the beauty of her big girl bed)
____
J: What does the sign say? No What?
Me: No smoking. You need to smoke outside.
Once outside, J: I am smoking a party (pretending to smoke).
Me: What?
J: Papi told me. Smokin' a party. It is fun!

Recent Lines

M: Were you born in 1987?

Me: No.

M: 1997?

_____

On J's four leaf clover that featured 4 things he is lucky to have: Shoes, our president, my family, my house.

___
V, holding a stethoscope, to M when she hurt her foot: Do you need a doctor?
__
Me to A: Quién es mi princesa?
A: V!
__
J: Why is it weird if I want to be friends with him (the drunkard who sells crap on the sidewalk)? I am weird
Me: How?
J: I twizzle my hair.

Whoo EEEh

I have had many a busy day in my life,  but today may take the cake. While the day was crazy and isn't yet over, it was a totally satisfying day. The only sad part is that I will not be home in time to see the midgets. I am currently at City College doing a make up swim class with MoJo. The day began with a ridiculous walk to BT. Nothing like pushing that mother load of a stroller in the middle of a snow storm. The plastic would not stay on, my hands we frozen... Well we made it and I even walked all the way to damn school because there were no buses available. I did not teach my first period class because most of the kids were in the gym watching the gym show. So I canceled class and went to see M rock it at her gym show ( think push ups as well as a dance to Gengham Style).  I spent the rest of the morning working on curriculum and packing hundreds of books for a book drive that ended today. After teaching I had my first class with the fourth grade for our community service trimester. I love this group! They are so little and it is their first foray into service.  I took them to the nursing home to do nail care. Yup, 9 and 10 year olds giving old women manicures. My favorite lady was there and she was in rare form, kissing all of the kids and being a ham. The kids were great and sweet and did not make any faces as a strange and confused woman continued to kiss and hug them. I was then called into a meeting with my headmistress where she proposed a super exciting and new task for me to develop with another colleague.  I am flattered. I cabbed it home to drop off and pick up crap and ran to Street Squash. After an hour of college prep I walked (again no bus) with a big bag of swimming gear to school. Got MoJo. They whined the whole way about having to swim at night. That brings us to now. How lucky am I to be able to squeeze so many gratifying activities
into one day? I cannot wait to order some Asian food and watch some flick with F tonight. Life is good. Stay tuned for my new 30 day challenge, I realized as I struggled with the stroller this am that I am COMPLETELY out of shape and may want to consider adding some minimal exercise into my life! Happy weekend!

Recent Lines

M: These icies are so good. Can you consider buying them again? They are so realistic. Coconut tastes exactly like coconut, pineapple exactly like pineapple.

J: Every time I sneeze I fart.

J in the storm today: Nature is all water and spirit.

J: I do not want if I want to be in art or science when I grow up. My other thing I want to be is an overachiever.

M: I got a new plan today. When I retire from being a pediatrician I am going to be a dancer.

J about his birthday cake: I want it to have a picture of me on it.

J: You know who abuelo R is so generous but he is junky? Do you think he would buy me a grand piano?
Me: Junky?
J: Yeah, he lets me eat junk.

J: What would you do if I littered?

Two Too To?

To drip snot to death or not to? All of a sudden I have one of those deadly colds that challenges your ability to function. My nose drips, I sneeze, my head hurts. A 3.5 hour meeting to kick off our day of professional development in lieu of school, is just what I did not need. It was hard for me to be productive after this insanely long meeting but I did try. Did I mention that I went through two entire boxes of tissues today? I feel bad for them trees. After M's piano class we schlepped home (always attractive to have a box of tissues, as well as a mountain of discarded ones flowing out of your bag) and I did the usual dinner and bath routine. I then left L with the 4 monkeys to go do a double header of tutoring (why? why? because when I agreed to this cockamamie plan I was not sick and thought I would capitalize on F's absence and L's presence). I could not even deal with lacing up my converse and left with my slippers on, a water bottle full of Emergen-C flavored water (note to self, this overdose of vitamin C is most likely not retroactive), a box of tissues and some Selby (essentially diaper cream) for my raw nose. I am now back. I misplaced an envelope today with M's piano lesson fee. I fear that I either shredded it or recycled it in two piles of papers that I unloaded today. I hope to find the money in my recycling bin and to avoid taping together shredded money. This is what happens when you move too fast and are distracted. Two classes down (yay, no tutoring tomorrow!) and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Recent Lines...

M- Duh! Everyone knows Italians are the masters at making pasta.

A to V: Scemotto (dummy loosely in Italian)
V to A: Scemotta tu!

J's Deep Thought

Not to be rude, but I do not think the person who invented toilets had such a good idea. I do not like butts touching butts. When guests come to our house, then I have to use the toilet and I do not like their butts touching mine.

Tanti Auguri

Feliz 6 enano! Long day filled with phone calls from many places, lots of gifts and a lovely evening celebration. Thank you for coming or calling or just remembering this little guy's birthday. TQMYTAMFCMC.

Hmmm

Nothing like getting soaked in a 30 minute walk under violent wind and rain while pushing a 150 lb stroller through swamps to BT. Glad I have extra shoes at work but I forgot to bring extra pants!

Also exciting on the random front, a call from a collection agency (!) alerting me that the twin medical services provided on 2/8/11 (yes they move fast!) were not covered by insurance. Guess they will have to crawl back into the womb.

A and V fight in Spanish and in English (A to V: I don't like it!, V: I don't like it either!) whereas M and J fight exclusively in English (M to J: You are the worst brother ever!)

Gearing up for better weather, the best auction ever, and maybe I should consider incorporating exercise into my life. My fat belly and aching body do not seem to equal my age. I was in better shape two years ago despite the two humans who lived in my belly.

Off to teach! Have a dry day.

Recent Lines

J waiting for his friend, who was late, after asking 1000 times when he was coming: I am getting old here. Where is he?
___
Me to A/V this am: Vamos a tomar la leche.
V: No, let's go eat pasta.
___
A to V during Sesame (as Grover introduced the letter of the day): Grover tiene V!
__
L to A: Tu mamá dice que no podes tomar jugo (Your mom says you cannot drink juice).
A: Mamá dice time out L!
__
J: Why do they always shoot special people like John Lemon and Martin Luther King?

Bouncing Back

from splatter vomit on the stairs. J was green when I picked him up from school and I canceled piano (ouch) a few minutes before J decorated the school stairs (at dismissal time mind you!) with hotdog vomit. J stayed home with the midgets and L while I had a (not) fun filled day at school. Tomorrow is Friday already and the weekend is already kicking my ass (tutoring and then dinner party tomorrow, swimming and dinner party on Saturday and J's 6th!! birthday party plus Oscar party on Sunday. Whoa. F is gone Mon/Tues and that brings us almost up to mid week next week. Why did I eat so much for dinner? Because I love Trader Joe's (or Brooks Brothers as J calls it). Hasta mañana.

Screwed!

Just got back. Tried to out AleVit down for nap since they only micro-napped in car. After one minute V was out of hte pack and play (shit!) and after I put him back and went to check in, A was straddling the bars, too far in to get out or jump out. If these kids can get out, and they can, I am F@*(^%&*#d! I may have to build a moat with robot crocodiles around the sleeping area.

Ta-Da!

Day 3 in the countryside and we have made some interesting discoveries. Never go look at a damn with 6 children and think that a sign that reads "recreational activities by permit only" is a joke. More on that later. Never underestimate the peace of mind that you used to have when neither twodler knew how to get out of their pack and play. I really hope V cannot replicate that skill at home. A, who never needs to sleep, thinks it is hilarious to get out of the crib and to try to rouse V to join her in the rebellion. Last night he yelled "silencio" to her which was pretty amusing. We can also confirm that V has major motion sickness and he projectile vomited at the two hour mark once again!

Mayhem

MoJo & AleVit have been in rare form. Yesterday M gave V a pen (bad idea) and he drew all over the wall (worse idea) and I cannot clean it. I guess it blends in the with rest of the destroyed wall.

At bath time V threw my (new) cellphone in the full bathtub while I undressed A. He thoroughly enjoyed how mad I got and did not mind his time out either. Crap, he is already over time outs. He laughed and responded "yeah, se tira teléfono en el agua" when I asked him it was something we do (se hace) or not (no se hace).

He must have been drunk or high on sugar (even though they did not have any) because by the time F came home he was crashing into A, laughing like crazy. When F said sternly "we are going to sleep" V  just mocked him and keep laughing.

In the afternoon (yes, all this in one day) while MoJO watched TV...
M: Clifford is over
J (with his penis out): No, it is not. He is not done watching TV.
He seemed un-phased and apologized when prompted. I told him to not do that in school lest he get in big trouble. He reminded me that a friend of his recently showed him his "front and back privates" and that nothing happened.

AleVit melted down at the pediatrician as soon as they remembered the pain associated with the place. When the doctor walked in, V yelled "I don't want it" to her. They were spared shots this time. Yay!

Today was another cuckoo day with piano, tutoring, home and back out to tutoring. Looking forward to the looong weekend.

F Week

J: I know an F word!
Me; No, we are not putting it on the list.
J: But it is an F word!
Me; But it is a bad word.
J: Can I just say it?
__
Me to V: Te quiero mucho! Me querés?
V: No. Quiero a L.
Me: Querés a L?
V: No, quiero a A!

HIghlights

M to me: The job of a child is simple. Don't be rude and obey and your life will be perfect as a child. Right mamá?

J when he heard me comment on how some chickens are treated: Nobody touch that (chicken on the table). You need to follow the golden rule and treat chickens how you want to be treated!


V to me: I go "a-wah-go"
Me: Qué?
V: I go "a-wah-go" (repeat back and forth three times)
V: Downstairs! I go downstairs!'
Me: Abajo!

V & A on the phone with their great grandmother...
Me: Dónde está la abuela I?
V: Aquí. En el teléfono.

V with M's backpack on: Bye. See you tomorrow.

Feliz 2 AleVit!

I cannot believe it. So big. Happy birthday to you midgets!!

Look Who's Talking!

I started to think about V and A and language today and they are not just talking, as in repeating words or singing songs, they are expressing themselves! There is such a huge difference. They talk to each other (A usually cocks her head and says his name to convey the importance of what she is saying) and they know what they mean. L and I understand them the most (F needs a translator). I understand 90% of what V wants to say and maybe 70% of A's talk. The new element is that they are really truly speaking. As far as they are concerned, they are telling me and everyone anything they need to, the frustration of speech limitation has subsided. This is going to be make me trying to have them pass for under two years old to save money on admissions and such a bit tricky! Just today V out on a hat and said to L"Qué lindo"! Yesterday V scolded A  as she kicked the crib "Se rompe, A, not funny. Papi dice not funny, L dice not funny. Se rompe" as she laughed hysterically. A is all about "saca jama (piyaama) and "mete pema (crema)" and "pasta dientes- mi turno"- she is a big fan of personal hygiene products!

Two Days Until 2!!

What the heck? How could this happen so fast? Slow down monkeys!!

Funny Boys

J, with the perceptive eye: You guys must be rich. You bought all this stuff, including this house. You bought more stuff than abuela S. We have paintings, a refrigerator, so much stuff. I think we have more than one hundred stuff in this house, counting the house.

V to A after I said "say sorry": I NOT sorry. I NOT. I NOT sorry.

Some Lines

M- People used to think that girls were not powerful, but they are actually quite strong.

M when I told her patent leather red party shoes did not match the sweatpants she was wearing: If your opinion is not nice, just keep it to yourself.

J- I don't want a new president who could be mean and change the rules.


Random man to V on a stroll in the hood: Hey shorty!
V: No!
man: Yes!
back and forth like this many times until I dragged V away (both of them were laughing)

J to tía C: E is too cool for you!

J trying to walk on his heels for a Guinness World Record, M: You are not going to get one. Do you know how many stupid people, I mean you are not stupid, but how many stupid people try to get into that book?

M sniffing a bracelet she thinks One Direction wore (a classmate sold her the story): I can tell it is real because it smells like their armpit cream.

J when he saw the ribbon of an old medal in the garbage: You threw away a priceless medal?

J: I am quitting piano. It is too hard. And I am quitting school.
Me: What do you plan to do all day?
J: I need to play and be in peace.

Toddlers on Trikes

I was going to write "babies on bikes" but then realizes the inaccuracies. We got hand me down plastic tricycles this weekend (because we are always searching for clunky and bulky things to fill up our extra space) from friends with five year old twins. They also brought some clothing, amongst which were two fleece hats with ear flaps that are kind of small for my (very) large headed guys. AleVit associates these hats with the trikes and wear them like helmets. One cannot go without the other. They are hilarious on their bikes, crashing into each other and actually learning how to pedal. When I suggested we show the bikes to our 4 year old neighbor whom they are obsessed with A threw the vehicle over her shoulder to run out the door. I wish I had a picture of them in onesies, barefoot with fleece hats banging on the door. "Simey (not his name but their version of it)! Where ahr you? We have bikes!" He never opened the door but A kept banging her fist. I was standing in our doorway listening to M practice piano. I turned my head into our apartment and when I looked back out V had called the elevator and was pushing his trike in. WTF? Always ready to escape. I look forward to warmer weather when they can really ride in the park!

Catching Up on Funny Lines

The other night when J was crying (weird for him) in bed he said it was for three bad things: He had no water to drink, got a time out in karate, and felt lonely because M was in my bed (everything is relative- being with only two other people in the bedroom is now lonely).

F makes AleVit say "te quiero mucho" to each other when they go to bed. After the usual V; Te quiero mucho A and then a: Te quiero mucho V, he added: Te quiero más!

When I told J we were going to MIA for spring break he said: I want a sleepover with abuelo R. I assured him he was getting that and he said: No, without you. Go on your own vacation.

M on why she thinks being a pediatrician is better than an ER doctor for her: I do not want to be under that pressure. If someone dies it is my fault.

M wants to be a pediatrician and asked: How many years is medical school? How many years do I have to be a resident. Tell me so I can make up my mind about if I can do it. Being a pediatrician
 a better opportunity to save the lives of children who have a longer life than adults.

J to M; I have a new crush.
M: Ooh. Tell me. In your class?
M: Older?
J: No.
M; In JK (junior kindergarten)?
J: No.
Me; In nursery?
J: No, BT.
M: Who?
J: A and V. But they never let me smush enough with them and I love them so much (it is true they are not big smushers).

M to tía D at dinner: It is not easy getting married and having kids.
tía D: Tell me about it.
M: Families go on forever.
Abuela S (always on hand with a random comment): It is not easy. Look at your mother. She had four kids. That is too many.
Me (in front of MoJo): Who should I get rid of?

As I Kissed J Goodnight He Said:

I will never be too cool for you (what a relief!)

AleVit Antics

These two are crazy. They went to their first birthday party today and had cake at 5pm. That was such a horrible idea. A is currently bouncing off the sides of her (sort of still broken) crib. Before that they were doing knee drops and body slamming in the bathtub and laughing maniacally. When F said OMG, V chimed in "mamma mia!" Last night they did a new routine at bedtime. V can push their beds around (hers in on wheels) and he scooted over to the dresser. When I walked in, he had most of its contents in the crib and A was wearing several pairs of M's underwear on her head. They were cracking up, and it was pretty funny. Another new V move is rolling himself up like a burrito in the pack and play. The "mattress" is a thin crappy mat with velcro on the bottom. He likes to pull both sides up or just move the whole thing over and lay on the metal bars. Hope they go to sleep soooon.

I Made It!

I have almost survived this whole week as a single mother of 4, living in an apt with 1000 drafts in sub zero weather, with daily evening events, a broken crib that A likes to break more "cama rota" to get my attention, and lots of mocos. Sure, I went to bed at 8:45pm with 3 out of 4 kids still awake. Okay, I took a shower this morning at 6am and washed my hair (could not remember when the time before was?!) while AleVit kept m company and destroyed the bathroom (V went to BT smelling like Axe, his favorite spray). Yes, I have a pencil holding my hair up because I forgot a hair tie and had my hair down so it would dry. My pants have what look like dried egg yolk on them and my jacket is covered in A's snot. But, life is good yo. I have NOTHING to do after school (besides get food and movies at the library) because Street Squash kids have Regents exams. I look forward to tomorrow am when F can lend a hand (he did do some virtual babysitting this am on Skype). TGIF!

The Pianist

I am so proud of little J! He looked very funny in his blazer and tie with his feet swinging in the air as he played on an amazing grand piano on stage. He had a weird piano class before the concert- he was behaving like he was on drugs- hyper, mocking the teacher sort of. Very erratic. She told me to think nothing of it and to not talk about it with him. We went to Celeste for dinner with tía D and M and sure enough, he returned to the concert hall and played like a champ. The pieces some of the older (but not that much older) kids played blew me away. I kind of felt like I was in one of those documentaries about extraordinary kids and I wondered how much their parents make them practice to be that good. I am very happy this day is over. It was so cold I thought we would freeze. I loaded L into a taxi with AleVit this am (not the easiest maneuver- I felt bad that she would have to unload on her own and redo it at the end of the day). Tutored post school and met L back at Mannes (we are a good team- I am lost without her) and then attended the concert post dinner. MoJo looked like they were falling asleep at the end of the concert. Hurray to my mini Mozart.

AleVit/MoJo Update

These kids are up to so many new things every week that it is hard to remember what I wrote about and what escapes me.  The member of my quartet who is most rapidly changing right now is A. She is talking up a storm and recognizing letters. L taught her a few letters in a book and she can identify a few of them and say whose name they stand for. I was semi-impressed but wondered if she could recognize these letters (A, V, M, P) in another context. To my surprise, she can! It is quite astonishing. I taught her "C for Carne (what they call tía C) and E for "Lee-I." When I showed L that she could recognize a C, A asked me to write an E as well. What an interesting twist in their development. A, the less vocal gal, is an early letter lady! A's other new thing is pockets. She always wants her hands in her pockets. Today she put her jacket on so she could have her hands in her pockets as she walked around the apartment in her onesie. "Hands in my pockets" is her current tagline.
V continues to boss everyone around and make constant announcements. We were at lunch yesterday and he said "I have to go to the bathroom" over and over again with attitude. He did not like my advise to just go in his diaper:)
J has had some attitude adjustment needs. He asked me how to spell "boo-yah!"- which he wanted to write on his homework. He also said "in your face" to me. When he finally got how disappointed I was in him he asked me to "fruitcake" it for the first time in his life. He is currently asleep in my bed. I am hosting a flurry of MoJo sleepovers this week as a special treat while F is away. When I threatened him with a consequence about something today, he quipped "You can't punish me. I'm the chosen one." As we froze our butts off walking M to piano class, J, on his scooter, said: "We could tie a rope from my scooter to the stroller so I could pull them instead of you pushing."
When I asled M if A was sleeping in the stroller today, she said: "She looks like she just had surgery."
The highlight of the weekend was my first solo outing with AleVit sans stroller. We walked to Central Park and they loved it. A thinks that she does not have to old my hand or let me hold her hood or let me carry her across the street, so we had a few confrontations about that. While in the park, she asked V to hold her hand. If only I had caught that on film. Right after they walked hand in hand for a few seconds they stopped and started spontaneously hugging each other cheek to cheek. Too damn cute. That I did capture on film. Off to watch more Oscar nominated films and to bed. This week is going to be a full one.

Better News!

I am going to be an AUNT! Tía more likely. Very exciting. You probably all know this already, but maybe not. It anguishes me to be so far away from Philadelphia and realistically unable (no time no money no car no driving skills too many kids) to go there regularly. I guess this mini Katz will know me mostly by Skype. I can read him/her a story some nights. Congratulations to the mini C & E on the way. Grow big and strong! You are going to have a lot of cousins all over you!

Sunday Wrap Up

This week has been intense. Next week looks even more intense. Too many things to write about. But here are some of the high and low lights. One current low light is me sitting by the buzzer, on the floor, waiting for Fresh Direct to buzz. Not sure why I thought the 6:30-8am slot was a good idea- my neighbors are going to kill me. My phone, my handy dandy sturdy flip phone died inexplicably on Friday. Thursday night, during my crib saga, the screen was all wonky, off center, and I tried hitting it, like one might a TV twenty years ago to jiggle the image. As you may have guessed, this did nothing. The worst part about the phone dying was that ALL of my contacts were on the card (new card new number as of merely weeks ago) so that without a screen all info was irretrievable. I bought a new phone (identical to the dead one). What a royal pain in the ass. Whose number did I have? Whose email did I lack? Who would I not remember that I needed until I did? F spent HOURS fidgeting with the phones, cables, and online tips. After much time wasted (I had already manually reentered about a third of the numbers), F was able to crack the problem. Radioshack sells my phone for $40 (yes, I know I could get an I-phone for 1 cent) and AT&T (another bunch of motherfathers, not as bad as the MTA but close) sells it up the street for $99! Incredible. Another (un)interesting incident involved my son's music school. I felt a little bit like Seinfeld when he goes to rent the car and realizes that they do not have his reservation. I applied for financial aid (labor intensive) in the fall and was denied. Before they sent me another whopping bill for the second part of the year, I emailed to see if I could apply for the spring. They never answered me. I-HATE-that. So I emailed them again. Nada. I went in person and explained my question. I was told that "all the funds had been disbursed" but that I could reapply in the spring for next year. A few days ago I got an answer to my Dec 6 email (apparently they like to use email like one would a courrier on horseback) stating that there was no financial aid for the program J is in. I asked her why the fuck they would accept my forms, entertain my question in person etc. She was unapologetic and told me it says there is no financial aid on some literature somewhere. Apparently I agreed to mortgage my house until he is older when aid becomes available. Lovely. The average person's inability to think or speak logically, to use common sense, common courtesy, is astonishing. Okay, enough of this boring crap. F leaves for Brazil for a week today. Abuela I is back to Buenos Aires today as well. This was her last Christmas here, as she cannot handle the cold weather. And this makes me sad. The end of traditions makes me sad. I also do not know when or how to go to Argentina, which leaves me with the heavy sensation that both of y grandmothers will die before I see them again. Okay okay enough doom and gloom. I am going to write another post about the bambini. This one is a downer. Over and out.

Losing Your Shit on A Thursday Evening

is never fun or a good idea. I do not even recall how I got so pissed off but I do know that while cleaning the kids's room, I struggled with the crib. I could not get the side up, or down and was very rough with it. M informed me that I had broken part of it. When I went to see the damage, I saw that three slats had come out and I stupidly thought I could pop them back in. One bad idea led to another and before you know it I had removed the whole side. Not bad I thought. Especially when I noticed that there were some nails sticking out. I was so frustrated and angry that I broke it. Could not fix it. Totally incompetent. Needed another adult. Preferably a man. Fuck it. A can sleep in a toddler bed. She sleeps on a cot at BT. Nope. She immediately began to jump and celebrate her sudden toddler bed. She climbed out incessantly. This would not work. I was hosting a BT auction meeting and I needed to put the kids to bed. I put the side of the crib back, like shit, and hoped for the best. They all went to sleep. F will have to fix the crib. I am sorry that I broke it. That I cried while I tried and failed to fix it. That this crib, that held all four of my children for the first two years of their lives, will now go to the garbage. the end of an era. I need to control my temper. And buy a new bed. Or two.

Mid Week Update

J is gearing up for his piano concert next Wednesday. I am really impressed with his hard work and concentration. His concert pieces seem too easy now. F has been away since Tuesday. He returns tomorrow night only to head out Sunday night to Brazil (lots of hookers there my mother astutely?! points out) for a week. MoJo seems under control, except for the occasional M bat-shit meltdown- usually about piano. AleVit is in rare form. V has become the hitter and the newly baptized "hall monitor"- constantly tattling and scolding. Today he yelled "cállate" (I kid not) to M as she yelled at me. I am told V was listening to "Little Red Riding Hood" at BT today and lost it and cried when the grandmother got eaten by the wolf. Pobrecito. J walks as slowly as can be and inquired this am "Do you think I have a medical problem? About why my legs move so slowly?" I am trying to watch as many Oscar flicks as possible. BT auction planning is about to kick off. Here we go again yo yo.

Monday Musings

MoJo wore moustaches all morning yesterday (she Mario, he Hulk Hogan) while we walked to and around the Met. It cracked me up to see Tina Fey, one of my idols, sporting one at the Globes last night. Did M inspire her?
____
After touring the knights and armor at the Met J inquired (and then made ask a guard): Do they ever give anything away here?
____
V's new thing is tattling on A. It is ridiculous. He says, in a singsongy voice "A is on top bunk" (she does climb up there even when you remove the ladder) or "A in trouble." it is very funny and annoying and inappropriate. He also threatens all of his sibling with "time outs." I tried to explain to him that he cannot give anyone a  timeout.
_____
M is taking ERB's (standard test) in school this week and has no chapel or homework because of it. Her comment: ERB's rock!

Recent Lines

J as we passed Dunkin Donuts: Can I have a sandwich from there?
Me: No, and it is a breakfast sandwich.
J: Can I have an evening sandwich then?
___
M:You are definitely the best mom in the continent and you are 95%  sure to be the best in the world. There is no one out there that is better than you. There are two to five people out there that are the same as you.
___
J to M as we walked in the apt: I call shower!
M: No I call shower!
V as he headed up the stairs: I call shower!
___
M to J over dinner: Did you know that we are very lucky to have the things we have? A lot of people have no family to help them.
__
M: When can I watch Hannah Montana?
Me: By the time you can watch those shows you will not care about them.
M: Yeah they just want to like capture us for ads. They are made for people like me to try to sell you stuff.
___
L to A: Come el brócoli.
V to A: Come el brócoli o time out!
___
J to me: When I grow up do I have to go live in another house? Can I take all of my toys?
___
M: How old will I be when I go to college?
Me:18
J: Martin Luther King was 15.
___
J: I need to go to Brooks Brothers to buy a bow tie for my concert (fat chance).
___
M at the MOMA: Who made this one?
Me: Van Gogh
M: No, I mean this version.
Me: This is the real one. He painted it.
___
M: Before you had kids how many did you want to have?
Me: Four
M: Like your mom?

To The Joy of Innocence & Credulity

Found in the recycling pile after M cleaned out her backpack:

Dear Santa, BFF
I would like anything you give me!! I think you are SO friendly & generous. LOL. Love, M
PS just to remind you we're in Vermont

Yogul!

Is A's new obsession. Preferably drinkable and from Trader Joe's. Wow, this girl inhales them. V copies her and begs for yogul (rhymes with Kabul) even though I do not think he particularly likes it. He spilled some at dinner and then took M's yogurt (not liquid), and spilled it ALL diligently all over the chair. When I scolded him, he laughed. So I took him kicking and screaming for a time out in his pack and play. He was desperately crying for the whole minute that I left him there. When I asked him "se hace o  no se hace?", he remorsefully and correctly answered "no se tira yogul." For those of you thinking that I am a witch for giving a not even two-year old a time out, let it be known that V also lovingly emptied a bucket of water from the tub, onto the bathroom floor today. He is in rebellious mode.

Breaking Up Part II

One was birth. Two was last night when we took V out of the crib so he could  try to sleep in peace. Sure they have slept apart in many places in pack and plays while we traveled but they have never been apart at home. V chose the pack and play over the crib and A went crazy when she entered the room and understood that she was not going into the pack and play with V. When F showed her that she could see him and touch him from the crib, she calmed down. I suppose it really is important for them to have space and be able to stretch. It makes me sad to see them not sleep together and to see the room look like a third world orphanage (just beds, no floor space). I guess that is part of growing up, being together less, physically. I laughed when I heard A shouting his name this morning (she says it accurately but with such a funny voice) to wake him up in the crib next door:)

Some Comments From This Week

Me, to J, at Mannes: Do you have to go to the bathroom before class?
J: Yeah, I need to caca.
Me: That is too much information.
J: Oh, yeah, this place is fancy.
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In bathroom:
Me: Are you done?
J: No, I am making some small cacas, like for a doll house man.
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J on how he would run F's 2:30pm work meeting: Good morning Fayzan! Let's all do a booty shake.
Me: What if they ask you questions?
J: Then I will punch them in the nose.
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At the MOMA, J: These pictures were done by children (they did look like that). They should be in the children's section.
J upon looking at a huge piece of paper with a small hand drawn on it and a large piece of debris on the ground in front of it: This is not famous. This is not even finished.
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J: I drew my age!
Me: 5 with three coins?
J: No, not the small coins, the big ones. 5 and three quarters!
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M at random points on two different days: People have diabetes you know! I wish they did not sell so much junk food.
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J when he found school work in the recycling: I quit St. H & H. You do not even care about my work there. I am not going.
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M about our apt hunting: You did not like any of those try outs? We are not moving to any of them?

Bang For Your Metrocard!

Check it:
Skipped taking babies to BT. Subway with J to M's bff house (she had practically moved in there- double sleepover!). M was pissed because I would not let it go triple. Take her and her friend and the other monkey to MOMA. Met tía D who has an awesome card that let us all in for free (yay!). Enjoyed some art (not all). Stay tuned for great comments from MoJo (oh what an art critic J is!) and then had lunch near there. In fact, we ate right in front of tío D's office and he joined us. Bye Bye tía D and I schlepped from Madison & 53 to 50 and 7th with the three monkeys back up to M's friend's house (use number 3 of metrocard). Here I (dumbly) opted to walk home with MoJo. Power piano and reading time. Back out (IV) to 98 and Broadway where they were dropped off at playdate (brother/sister same age as my kids).  Back to Harlem to Street Squash (V). Great session. Back down to get MoJo (VI). Back home (VII) to do showers and make dinner. Hello AleVit! Left to go to Film Forum (check out review later)- use VIII. Wow, what a depressing film. Back home (IX). Good night. Thank you MTA, I hate you, but I love you a little too.

Oggi

M: Bad grammar used to bother me, but now I use it too.
J: Bad grandma?
J: Grammar.
J: Grandma?
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J: There are three versions of us. The silly, the mean, and the perfect. The silly is here, the perfect around the corner, and the mean is in coffee drowning to her death.
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J looking at his toasted bagel with cream cheese: Delightful!
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Me to J: Do you want Z (old bt teacher) to babysit>
M: Tío G and D are cheaper.
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J: How many years until I am dead?
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M: I am reading my all manic.
Me: What?
M- points to almanac.
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J: Mock my words!
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M put gel all over J's hair before they watched Grease. I told her she would be surprised if she saw Travolta today. M: He's not aging well?
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V when I told him "no se hace" about throwing cereal all over the floor: I not funny (with hispanic accent).

Happy New Year (aka Felicia me muero)!

Whoa 2013. Barely got used to 2012. Remember when 1999 seemed futuristic in Prince's song. We will party like it is 2013 this year. F and I will pace ourselves as we eat into the night. F has been cooking up a storm! Food and 10 episodes of Homeland as we battle to make it to midnight. May this year be full of good health and much peace and patience for all of those who need it. I am grateful for another year full of work, love, family, good health, and many opportunities. If you are a reader and not a commenter, please make a comment once in a while in the new year so I know you be there. Felicia, me muero!

Today's Lines

Me: Dejate de joder.
M: Yeah, stop joderering.
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When I picked up a baby item at a store. J: Who is that for?
Me: Guess.
J: Our babies?
Me: We do not have babies, we have toddlers. Someone else in our family.
J: Did you forget our babies? A and V?
Me: Yes, I know them but this is for a new baby that is not born yet.
J: Ms M? (60 year old piano teacher)
Me: Nope. IN OUR FAMILY.
J: Oh, her name starts with a K! Or a C. I know who.
(thank goodness).
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J: I want a new family.
Me; Ok, go to CVS, they are on sale there.
M: You are hurting everyone's feelings.
J: The babies do not understand.
M: Someone could be recording this and they will see it when they are older. You never know.
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J while watching Albero degli Zoccali: But there are no poor people like that in real life right?
Me: There are people much poorer than that in most of the world.
J: Now? I want to give them my money (goes to piggy bank and takes out a third)
J: I feel happy and sad. Sad that I am losing my money but happy that I am giving to people that need it. But I want to give it to people in another country.
Me: Haiti? Somewhere in Africa? Nicaragua?
J: Nicaragua. Because I do not know what that is. I know that M did Haiti and I want to do a different country.

MoJo & AleVit Banter

V after I told him that he hurt my hand when he stepped on it: Sorry mano.

J: can you build my scooter so I can go out for a test drive?

V with shoe lace in hand: Oh no, I rompe (italian accent) the shoe!

Me to F: The good news is that I love you.
M: That is old news!

M to V: Torino!
V, irritated: What? (back talk from a midget!!)

Home Sweet Home

There is nothing like being back home. No matter where you have been or how much fun you could have had, it is amazing to be back home. I would not mind skipping the unpacking, however. Sheer physics suggests that I need to gather up many bags of items to give away if we are not fit in this apartment. AAAAHHH too many objects everywhere!

High & Low Lights

Somebody found little balls of poop on the couch after abuela I changed a diaper. Oops. She commented "no wonder I was smelling caca."
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A flew down an ENTIRE (short) flight of stairs while playing with grandpa. I literally stopped breathing for a few seconds. I am not sure how toddler anatomy works, but it apparently allows you to fly face down, with a running start, hit your twin on the way down and still not get hurt. Hallelujah to them rubbery bones.
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V sang "Happy birthday" all day long to his abuela (it is her bday), to A, and to grandpa.
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V screaming "I want pasta" in the car and "We are all done" (first use of "we") when they were done eating at the restaurant.

SNOW!

It has been snowing all night and it is still snowing. I hope to take the midgets out later today. Hard to believe that we only have two days left here. I failed to exercise yesterday but I did bowl. MoJo skied for me. They liked it and will be back next year. AleVit continue to enjoy traipsing around the house repeating what everything says to them in three languages and enjoying different games over and over again with different grandparents (nonni nonni with abuela I, cuckoo with nonna M). Off to eat more and hopefully read!

Feliz Navidad

Hope y'all had a good holiday. I just ate way too many burned turnips or some root vegetable that I charred. Vermont has been nice. I have failed completely at reading but I have been dancing and/or walking and running every day and throwing in some planking and back exercises. Good flossing. So overall I am doing okay with my 30 day challenge. We have not seen much film-wise. Babies have mixed feelings about the snow. They are talking up a storm in all three languages. Today A said "I want silla." When I gave it to her she added, "I want tutto." My favorite line from this holiday came from J. While opening a remote helicopter F told him he would need "supervision" to use it. J held his eyes wide open and said "Okay, super vision." MoJo is off for their first ski lesson EVER tomorrow with the grandparents. Off to burp an excess of roasted greasy burnt veggies. Yummm.

DELAY

Happy happy birthday to my partner (Dec 21 if you missed it). We are in Vermont. School is over. Christmas pageant number XIV done. We are in baby control mode trying to control the damage they are inflicting on this house full of chachkas (sp?) MoJo is out buying a tree. AleVit is down for their first nap in this house. V screamed like he was being decapitated last night. Not much sleep. Will work on not eating my weight in holiday junk. Patience and self control are key in these quarters. Happy almost Christmas.

Mamma Mia!

Xmas pageant is tomorrow and the week has flown by with no posts! It is actually very hard to believe that we are here again. Many family members sick, Connecticut, general business, all of this prevented me from posting. But here we are, like I said. Happy to be going on break, even if the family seems crazier than ever. My best gift has already arrived. It was yesterday. I went with the third graders to the nursing home to deliver some pots they had painted with plants in them. I asked them if they could sing their pageant song, "Silent Night" before we left. Even though they do not sing well. There was something about so many children singing, their little voices reaching for the notes, that moved everyone. One old man, Mr. A, raised his hand to speak before we left. He said he thought the performance was so good that they should record it and that the music made him feel warm inside. The tears were strolling down my face. It is so easy to be nice to each other. What the fuck is wrong with people? I saw my true (senior) love on the way out. She was sitting in the lobby, with her coat on, as always. She had no idea who I was (It is like the movie "50 First Dates") but smiled when I wished her a happy holiday. I kind of wanted to take her with me. One day soon I will go to the nursing home and she will be gone. Sweet KL. On a baby note, V was sent home sick yesterday. He has a fever. Again. Mercy. On the birthday front, F is catching up to me, 37 tomorrow. Off to stretch!

Pee Pee Time- Yahoo!

She may have come out last and not talk up a storm, but A has emerged as the potty queen. They have each had their own potty for a few months. They like to sit on it for a microsecond and say "all done" or "ya está" but they have never even accidentally left pee in there. A has asked me eagerly to sit on the potty in the last two days. This morning I said sure but proceeded to dress her and she yelled "potty!" I let her go and after running around naked, F went to dress her and asked me why she was wet. I went to check the potty, cover down, and it was FULL of pee. Go A! As we celebrated, V went up to her and hit her (jealous midget). Slowly but surely we will move away from ruining our planet with diapers!

Bodily Functions

V exploded in diarrhea yesterday. Think geyser. As he sat in his hi chair eating a banana, he said "caca."By the time I looked, he had yellow SHIT all over. His t-shirt was wet up to the armpits and he had poop on his forehead. I have seen kids with dinner in the form of vomit on their faces or in their hair, but never have I identified food in the form of shit on a child's face. Holy moly. Thank goodness F took over the cleaning of the blonde poop midget.
Then to add some fun to the weekend, J's front teeth have been super loose and hill billy like. While roughhousing with grandpa, his mouth started bleeding and he was able to take one out. The tooth fairy is such a prescient genius, that she left two dollars, At some point in the morning, J lost his second tooth, and more than likely swallowed it.
No more bodily functions for now.

J!

slept on the floor last night. When I asked him why (his comforter weighs 20 lbs as he stuffed it with all of his stuffed animals) he said he was helping V fall asleep.
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I went up late to the Kwanzaa celebration to find my midget drumming with another kid and two African drummers in front of the whole early childhood program. The serious look of pride on his face as he kept up with the African beat was too much! I am hoping some teachers got footage/pictures that I can have.
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A man of many trades, J also had his karate demonstration yesterday and the midget is good! Fast clean kicks, falls. Also performs karate with a very serious expression. He is not even six! I hate to boast, but I am very proud of this little swimming/drumming/piano playing/karate kicking delinquent!

30 Day Check In

How is everyone doing with their challenges? Be honest. I forgot to do my back exercises yesterday. I have read and flossed every day but some days only for 5 min (reading). I am doing well with the not yelling for the most part. I did the "click a day" to support a Miami art project.
How about you guys?

Latest MoJo

M while playing with play-doh: Is this named after the guy?
Me: Plato? The thinker?
M: Yeah.
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J when I read him "Merry Christmas. I love you. M" from his best friend: That is all she wrote? I write longer things in my cards!

Midget Tales

V to J while he practiced drumming: Stop banging!

V to A, who would not eat: Es bueno.

V to L when his twin yawned: Tiene sueño.

A when F asked "cosa dice la scimmia?" (what do monkeys say): raspberry sound.
F: ooh ooh ah ah
A, with tude: mono!

J when I asked him why he was so cute: Cute kids come from cute parents.

J when I told him he was not going to the Lion King now, but later with grandpa: I am never going to go. Grandpa doesn't pay for big things.

M to J: Stop it, mamá is not in the fun zone.

J: I have a lot of salima in my mouth.

M this am: We are lucky we have three meals a day and toys and a good school. Some schools have police and metal detectors because teenagers go to school to shoot other teenagers. The luckiest thing you could basically have, is a family.

Goodbye 37! Hello 37!

Yay! I am only 37. My savvy math skills made me think 1975-2012 is 37 years and I have been convinced that I was already 37, turning 38. How nice to still only be 37. How nice to eat a 900 calorie almond croissant a colleague brought me. How very nice to have F make me breakfast and get me a very funny card (will show to those who care to see). How great to be healthy. To have a job. A mother who brought me flowers to work before I got here. Parents who call and write before 9am (so I know they remembered right away- late night birthday calls are disappointing to me). Friends and family abroad who emailed me while I slept. How nice. Now if A's fever went away, it would be perfect! Off to teach. Thank you Sam I am. For all that I have.

Water Agua Everywhere

This was the theme yesterday. MoJo competed in their first swim race (so fun!) and did really well. Washer broken at come and it was RAINING in our living room. Literally. I was standing holding a bucket and a tupper ware watching it rain into various other containers, while F fiddled with the washer cursing like a madman (AleVit cried like maniacs in the meantime, from their cribs, for added effect). When I saw the light fixture full of water and dripping (lights on), I knew we were fucked. We are sort of fucked as I now have no washer, more damage in the apartment etc etc but I do not even care that much. We have each other, a place to live and we have our health. You cannot beat that.

F is Coming Home!

In the middle of the night tonight.
After a loooong week away.
Yay!

The Pasta Lover

He may look like a Russian midget with his stout mini body and his blond locks, but V cannot LIVE without pasta. He asks for it ("pasta?" he inquires every morning "carne"? "apple sauce?") at every meal and I think he has it for most meals at home. I made potatoes and broccoli and a slew of other foods for dinner tonight. But V cried. Desperately. For ten minutes. For his true love. "Pasta!" he wailed. I did not give in. But he barely ate. Pobre gordo.

M This Am

You are three quarters the best mom in the world. Actually, some moms are too mean and some are too nice and their kids are bratty. You are in the middle. Perfect. (my ratings are up today)
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on empanadas I made for her class yesterday: The teachers came in to scoop them up like their lives depended on it.

Happy Birthday Espinaca!

Hope you had a great one. How can you be 17? How did that happen? I guess I am about to turn 37 then. Que los cumplas feliz! TQM!

Sweetness In A Crib

A was complaining in her crib. I just put them to bed and say good night. L, aka "Cici" massages them until they are asleep (or trick her into thinking they are). A called out for Cici (dagger to my heart) and I began to hush her and rub her back. After a minute I was just hushing but not touching her and I saw V was rubbing her back. She eventually noticed but was happy anyway. I cannot think of anything sweeter than that. My feisty rough A being soothed by her chatterbox other half. Who says they cannot sleep in the same bed until college?

Mini Thems

A grabbed J's drumsticks and was actually playing with some rhythm against the pillow and then hitting the sticks together. J commented "pretty good for a little kid." Another drummer? She then proceeded to whack him with the sticks- that violence is all her.

V NEVER stops talking and now he is bossy too! He was yelling at A who was playing with a dirty sponge, "no en el pelo. no en la boca" What a little bossy pants.

It is actually very cute that I catch them have "conversations' sometimes- spontaneous back and forths mostly about "mi toonoh" (my turn).

PS V just pooped on the floor and told me. I swooped him up and while putting a diaper on him noticed that he had already slipped in it and that his foot, and subsequently my clean bed, were covered in shit. Lovely. "No caca en piso" he diligently agreed with me.

PPS They call toothpaste "pasta" (it is also called pasta de dientes) and as V asked me for more I wondered what he must think having his toothpaste and favorite food share a moniker. As if he could read my thoughts, he said "más pasta for tooth."




cac clip
conversation

MoJo's Deep Thought

I think you and papi will have another kid
Me: I think five is a lot. Do you know a lot of families with five?
M: You can wait until the babies are like two.
Me: That is in two months.
M: The Bs (family in our school) have five kids (they are gazillionaires) and so do Mexicans.
Me: Who?
M: I do not know them, but I see them on the street.

Monday, And We Are Off!

F is gone until Saturday. I am in turbo mode. Need to wrap up reports, my conference report, make empanadas for two second grade classes, shuffle back and forth to music classes blah blah blah. So far so good with my challenge but I am not impressed with myself yet, only day two. How you jews doing on your challenges? Anyone else up for a 30 day challenge?
PS V is trying to eat the lights on the xmas tree (¡fruta!) he yells as he mouths the electrical pine shaped death hazard. He is also convinced that a picture of M, as a two year old (with long brown hair), is him. "Torio!" he declares. He also yelled at me for wearing F's pj pants "papi pantalones!" Another bossy pants, we were short those in the fam.

Boy Humor

When J went to the bathroom for a looong time at Columbus Circle, I said "What were you doing for so long?"
J- Number 3. (pause) 1 and 2 (good math!)
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This am when I told AleVit "ahora traigo la leche", V yelled "Bring apple sauce!"

30 Days Part II

I am sorry to have disappeared. I was not very successful with doing anything challenging yesterday, so I will attempt to start today, Dec 2, which will bring me to Dec 31. For 30 days I will:

1. do my back exercises
2. floss
3. try to not yell at kids (and make sure to apologize if I do)
4. read every day (I am in the middle of two good books)
5. no carbs in the evening
6. no fried food
7. support this cause 

that's all I got.

wish me luck and do share your own challenges...