Last Lines of 2013

J: Can you adopt a wife?

V: The ocean is finished!

V: I like to touch my penis.
Me: Why?
V: I want to touch all of it.

A to J: Don't say midget to me, I say midget to you!

M to F: You are not the boss, you are not Mr. Moleskine

A has been trying to use her new doll's chupete. I explained to her that it is not a real one and that she is too big: Well, my baby does not need it. She is not crying.

V as I put a dress on A: Can I have a dress?
Me: Boys do not usually wear dresses.
V: Can I have a blue dress?

M: I am going to read while I walk. I can do it. I have the genes.

J was dying to go to the bathroom at the MOMA today. We walked through a shit bubble (honestly who farts like that in a crowded Magritte exhibit?) as we exited and J assured us: I am holding mine.

When V looked like was pooping in the car, I asked him if he had (hiciste caca?). V said: I am making farts.

M to me: I spoke to papi and he said this was okay but I wanted to check with you.
Me: Okay.
M: When I am 18, can I have an 11:30pm bedtime?
Me: Sure.
M, elated: Will it be gradual or will I like wake up when I am 18 and have a bedtime that went from 8 to 11:30pm.
Me: Gradual. Honestly when you are 18, I will not be able to tell you what time to go to bed. I will have bigger fish to fry.
M: Like if I can go to a movie with my boyfriend?

M to F: Your ipod is totally ignorant.

Vermont Lines

V has recently decided to make a Santa voice and to tell people what they are getting. In his thick voice, he tells A: You want a princess? Behave! After interrogating him further this is what he/Santa is bringing different people: Baby M: a sculpture, E: an octopus, abuela S: medicina, abuela I: medicina, Me and tía C: a necklace... to be continued.

When I asked V if the monster (his meltdown) had left: Yes, someone was not listening to me.

V when M said: None of your business to him: I am learning about it.

In car, V to A: Are you happy?
A: No.
V: Why?
A: Because I am mad.
V: Oh.
A: I said, I am very mad!

J trying to spend abuelo R's money at the bookstore: What the hell is tax?

A: Why isn't (baby) M talking to me?

Me to J: You can skip shower
V to me: I am going to skip bedtime. And I am going to skip piano.

J (and others) still refer to the midgets as "the babies." A inquired: What babies?

A, as she resisted me putting her to bed: I am going to sneak downstairs and surprise papi!

J as we left for Vermont: Is this summer vacation?

J: Is being a parent hard?
M: What do you think?
J: No, all you do is drink coca cola.

Recently....

V on the toilet: My poop is very crumbly and A's is a very good brown.

J to his home-schooled friend: You should go to my school. Do you know where I got my muscles? (pause) My school. Do you know where I got smart? (pause) My school!

M told me that V said "fuck." When I asked him what he said: I said M is a bad girl. My dad (who I was on the phone with said), pointed out:  He is naughty, not stupid, he is not going to repeat it.

J: I just cracked my wiener.
Me: I do not think you can crack that.
J: Well then, I got a cramp.

M on our project playground across the street: MLK playground? The name does not fit; there are always people cursing in there.

After I tried to explain what a saint is, J: So abuelo R can be a saint?

V: A(friend from school) has two houses.
A: Me too, I have one in Miami.
V: Me too, I have one in Philadelphia.

J to a subway poetry slam artist: You are cool!

Lines....

V under the covers: V is gone. You are missing one kid.

V after I had said "tu tía de Italia está acá": I want to see tu tía

J when I thanked J for not tattling on M: I was protecting her with the power of trust.

Me: ¿Quién es mi amor?
V: Thank you.

M: Well then Santa stinks!

V, all the time: I am a woman!

M to J: I will be waiting for you in my grave.
J: Heaven?
M: No, that does not exist.

M to J: By the time you get everything on your (gift) list you will be 90.
J: No, I will be dead.
M: Exactly.

A, randomly: Shhh. Santa is coming.

Me: I look nothing like (baby) M. People might think I am her sitter.
J: You are too old to be a babysitter.
Me: I am not older than L (she is 53).
J: Yes you are!

¡Feliz Cumple!

Happy happy 18! Please vote and don't smoke. Te quiero mucho mucho. Hard to believe you will be in college soon. xoxo

Recent Lines

V to A: I am going to get you a new kitten next time for a treat.
A: No, get me a lollipop and a candy bar.
V: Me too, I want a candy bar.

V on a neighbor's toy gun: I want a turn with the drill!

A: V is not going to come to by birthday.
Me: Yes, he is. You have the same birthday.
A: No, we don't.
Me: Who is older?
A: Me. I am older.

V in bed with us: J has lots of hair. Papi don't have hair. Papi should get more hair. Does papi have hair this am?

A: You are in the mamá seat.
Me: No, this is the passenger seat, there is no mamá seat.
A: Yes there is. You are in the mamá seat.

A to V on the street: Do not jump or the neighbors will get angry.

V to me as I got dressed: Who gave you those petetas?

V singing to himself: My penis, my penis, I have a very big penis, my penis is longer!

Haircuts!!

It has been a week since my midgets got their first haircuts. I was shocked at how happy V was to sit (so still) and have his locks chopped off- he never mentioned his old hair again. A was a bit more hesitant to sit in the chair at the barber shop (each hair cut was a whopping $10!) but walked away with a cute bob. I am still mourning the loss of V's long hair. Everyone seems to think he is super cute with his new generic do (think pudgy boy) and of course he is but... I miss my little long haired boy. Guess what? People still say "what cute girls- are they twins?" There are so many firsts... this time around, they are last firsts and lasts are harder to swallow.

Twodler Humor

V to himself: You have to focus!

A to L: I am Sally and V is Nick and you are Cat in the Hat!

me to A: Can I have a bite?
A, with bagel in mouth: When I am finished.

V to me regarding my classroom: This is a beautiful room

A to V: I am not being impatient.

MoJo & AleVit Lines

M: I am so well potty trained. I could not have an accident if I wanted to.


A: I want cockcorn.
V: Me too, I want cockporn.

M: It is funny how your body is trained so you do not fart or burp in front of people but you let it all go at home.

M: That is the worst part of birthdays. Thank you cards.

A: I want some Thomas (hummus) on my chips.
V: Me too. I love Thomas.

M and J disagreeing while playing 20 questions...
J: But super heroes do exist!
M: No, they do not.
J: Well I think they do, so this is hard for me.

M: Do you think you could stand it? To have one more kid?

M: What are the religious backgrounds in our family?
Me: Well, papi's family is Catholic.
J: You mean athletic?
Me: No, Catholic.
J: That does not mean anything. You mean athletic.

9!!

Cannot believe you are almost in the double digits. 9 years ago today I became a mother. Hard to believe I felt busy before then. May you continue to grow and love people and books and swim and snuggle. You are my first true love. Que los cumplas feliz!!

Twoddler Comments

A: Mamá, I am younger than you!

V: Mamá, why I love you?

V: I am totally not tired.

Backlog of Lines

J to me: You get to do whatever you want.

A playing with lever she made with fork and food: I have to focus (she was making glasses with her hands)

V on (poorly cooked) pasta: It is too hard. Rough. Not good. (M verified that he was right).

M when I told her F would not be happy with how dirty I got his phone: He just ran 26 miles, I think he can handle cleaning his phone.

Me to A: Did you like swimming?
A: S(the teacher) is my best friend!

V to A: Are you mad? I am!

V to A this am: Give me a hug!

M when she saw a man with a Superman costume on Nov 1: He is so yesterday!

J: Are you going to be a singer in my band? Or be in a puddle?
M: I want to be a doctor.
J: That will take a million years to be a doctor.

J: My life is terrible because I have the meanest teachers and people are always bossing me around.
M: Life is not perfect.

M when I asked her if she knew why they were punished (no snack for throwing out part of their dinner): You are doing it so we have a vague idea of being hungry. People struggle and a piece of bread is like a miracle.

M: If the rich gave a lot of their money to the poor- then it would be fair- we would all be middle class.

Little Trixsters

Last Friday F and I went away from the night. I warned tía D (thank you for caring for the monkeys!!) that getting them down was hard, that they wake up mad early, that sometimes A pees through her diaper etc etc. Well, these went to bed early and with NO hassle and slept until... are you ready?.... 8:15 am. WTF? This is like saying noon. I do not think they have ever broken the 7am mark. The best part? They did not ask for us even once! On Saturday they took a step further and went into the pool ALONE after weeks of BS (one of us getting into the pool with them). So, I guess I am happy and sad. My midgets are grown grown.

Happy Anniversary!!!

12 years married. Almost 18 together. Almost 24 that we have known each other. Happy anniversary amore. Happy first to T& M!!!

Lines

J, when asking for dessert: I just want something delicious to bring my taste buds up.

J while wearing my vest: You have an indoor pocket!

M: Gym was torture today. I did not know I was such a couch potato.

J: When your nose grows, do you get bigger morning mocos?

M: I have been through many of (tío) D's girlfriends and I like them a lot.

J: Papi, you are a good man. Will you play?

J to me when I asked him (as always) to walk faster: You used up all my energy pulling me like a kite.

School Projects

A third grader wrote this about me when asked to write about an adult he admires, it summed me up an cracked me up as well:

I admire Ms. E my Spanish teacher. She is a good Spanish teacher because she speaks very good Spanish. Ms E is an intelligent person. She taught me how to say unfriendly in Spanish. She is nice, but strict. She has a strict voice. She lets me say the words of the month. She is a good mother because she is nice to M (his classmate). I like being in her Spanish class and I admire her as a teacher.

J's teacher shared the following with me at his conference today, he had to complete the prompts:

I am: good to others, healthy, myself

I can: jump rope, defend others, help, love

I have: my ability, faith, love, souls

I love: sports, nature, my buddies, my family

Delayed Lines- More on the way..

A to M, who just got braces: I like the necklace on your teeth,

M showing J the woman with the biggest breast augmentation (nice taste children's version of the Guinness Book of World Records): When people die they can donate their boobs and she got a lot of people's.

M: What do you think cavemen dreamt about?

M: I wish I could be born again so I could change my record.

A to V: You can draw here, or you can draw here. Choice, V, Choices (in a very funny adult tone).

V to me when I walked in from swim with M: Where's J? You forgot him! (laughing)- He's here (his very own joke).

J: Welcome to the world of being a kid, you do not get any respect.

M when I told her a nun costume might be inappropriate for me at school: But you were Jewish when you were a kid, you can wear it.

J when I showed him what "cool costumes for boys" showed on google: Well the internet is probably by girls too, you do not know what cool for boys is.

Recent Ones

A: I am four and a half.
V: I am three and a half.

V: Mamá, can I have a sleepover at L's house?

Me to F: Remember when we camped in Greece?
J: You camped in the movie?

V: Mamá, can I see your eyes? Are you angry?
Me: No.
V: Can I see happy eyes?

J, after we bought marshmallows for camping: Can we go to a store that sells fresh sticks to roast them on?

The Best Letter I Have Gotten (Ever... I Think)

After much drama this morning and a lot of aggravation from M, I got this note from her hand delivered at pick up:

Handmade envelope:
To: My true love
From: your embarassed daughter

Letter:
Dear mama,
I (heart) u 2 much!!
I am sorry x infinity for my behavior this morning!! I hope (and think) tomorrow will be better. I thank you for being so patient and so understanding and compared to my behavior you are a saint. I hope you will forgive me. It's just that once I get frustrated there's no stopping me. I know how many times I have apoligized and by now it's probably meaningless but, I encourage you to forgive me and the results will (probably) be wonderful. Thank you for going this far in reading my letter. M (ita)

Oy

J to me: You do not understand what being a cool boy is for Halloween. Blood, weapons, violence.

J to me getting angrier: I am not thinking like a girl, like early childhood stuff like you mamá. You have to learn to live with a boy, who likes guns and stuff. Boys think violent.

J to M and to F and to anyone who will listen to how inept I am: She does not think like a boy

Me to M: Can I help you figure it (piano) out?
M: No. I do not want anyone to help me. Not even if Beethoven came over to ask me.

Ce Soir

M: Can we upgrade our bedtime to 8pm?

Me to A: Are you out of bed? Did you just turn the light on?

A: I came to tell you that V is your problem.

Me: V is my problem?

A: Yeah.

Some Lines

M: Is there such a thing a neutralist? I think I am one. Sometimes I look on the bright side but sometimes I jump to conclusions.

J: I think in Africa they are unlucky because they do not have a lot of food or stuff but the kids there are not bratty at all.

V to a classmate with a party hat on (at her bday): There is a party on your head!

M: I feel bad for you mamá that deal with bratty kids at school and then come home and you are with more bratty kids.

J when Netflix kept getting stuck: This is really breaking my nerds.

Recent

V to A as they sat in their high chairs (aka prison) eating dessert:

V: Show me your angry face. (she does)
V: Show me your sad face (she does)
V: Show me your monster face (she does)

A to me: What's your name again?
Me: mamá
A, squinting her naughty squint to J: What's your name again?

Me to A: Te divertiste en BT?
A: No.
Me: Por qué?
A: Because I am a bad boy.

Me to A: you are hurting V.
A: Oh, well.

New Ones

M: If authors were honest and put some of the bad things people said about their books on the back, you could know if a book was really good

Me to J: You might be punished.
J: Yeah, well, I will punish you.

J: I miss being little but I like being big. I wish we could be both.

J: I want to give some of my money (he is donating his piggy bank) to Singapore; to the kids who get caned.

J on the police using weapons: Cobs are not bad guys.

M: Papi used to be Fit Frank and now he is Loosey Joe.

M: It's normal that your belly is floppy after all the babies.

J: I do not want to be super skinny or normal like papi, I want some muscles.

V, all the time: Mamá- Are you angry? Are you joking?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIMES TWO!

happy happy 32 and 33 to my two favorite world travelers. so glad you got to celebrate it in Italia! hope to be with you on the next one. xoxoxoo

Roses & Thorns

My sister likes to do this exercise a lot so I thought I would frame my day in these terms.

Rose: J performing (quietly) confidently on the bongos with our head of school in chapel.She sang (great voice!) a song by Odetta and played the banjo while he drummed away. Last night he told me how excited he was and asked me if it was a one time performance or if he was in the band because in the band would be awesome!

Thorn: M getting her palatal expander and being UNABLE to turn the motherfuckin' "key". So she is uncomfortable and I am inept and no matter what I could not do it. I have watched YouTube videos and I am convinced that my device is defective. Tomorrow I will request the help of my engineer neighbors. It does not help that fine motor skills, coordination, and spatial intelligence are all not my fortes.

Rose: A new (adorable) first grader whispering tome in the hallway as I took her back to her classroom: Thank you for teaching me Spanish (I almost cried).

Thorn: Wrestling an orthodontic instrument and putting MoJo to bed to then be knocked out by the smell of SHIT in the kids's room. Ay ay ay. When will A be really potty trained?

Rose: V telling me he "loves me too much."

Voilá

J: Can we donate some of my toys? To poor kids, not bratty ones.

J: I am lucky my parents are rich so that is why I am going to give my money to the poor.

V to me: You are a good boy mamá.

V: I will get in big trouble? Or in tiny tiny trouble?

J, trying to throw his notebook away: I lost my talent. I cannot draw anymore.

J: When I grow up, do you think I will be like (tío) D or how I am now?

J on his new teacher: She is stressed out because she is having a baby.

M on her new teacher who seems less strict than expected: She isn't hardening. She isn's messing around but she is not that strict.

M on J's teacher: You need to do stellar behavior now at the beginning of the year.

V as I walked out the door with eyeliner on: Mamá, are you a princess?

J: I do ask for a lot of stuff don't I?

V, the morning after a rough bedtime: I am done with my time out.

DAY 1

MoJo loved their first day! When I asked them to share high/lowlights, neither one had anything negative to say about the day. I saw J at lunch (11:30am) and he asked me if we were going home soon. I guess he needs to build up some endurance. I also learned that he asked M to do his homework and that she obliged (we clearly had to redo it). Here are some lines from his first night of homework. He had to complete the sentences:

The things I like are...family, friends, toys
The things I do not like are...bossy people (he specified that he did not mean me), zucchini
I am good at...creating sounds, making rhythms
I wish I could... help poor people.

I am pooped. AleVit was up (she crying and he night terrors screaming??) on and off for two hours and I need to sleep.

BLAH

It is true I have been lax in posting. The film blog has not been touched in months! Depressing. I am happy to be going back to school on Monday. I am not so happy that F is about to leave for the week. There are so many logistics for this first week and the whole schedule is messed up. The BT days are wrong, the tutoring is messed up, it is all disheveled. J is a complaining machine. Both kids looked happy after their orientations however. AleVit is IMPOSSIBLE to put to sleep and A continues to not poop or to wait until the second I put on her diaper. No progress. V is fully trained.
Some lines from the last few days:

J: I just want to be a normal man like papi. He does not have to do piano or karate.

J: I only want two things: to be healthy and to move in with my friends when I am done with school to Brooklyn or something. That is my wish. Make that three wishes. I also want to be happy and strong.

New Ones

J to M: Have you ever tried to impress a boy? Like do cool things? I do it all the time.


M to J: You only like spinach because of Popeye.
J: Of course, Popeye introduced me to spinach.

J: Policemen should have swords. Also cars should be electric. People should walk more. If you are in the desert and see a llama or a tiger you need to be strong and fast.

V as we left abuela's house: I just love it here!
V on the subway: I love New York!
V looking at grandpa's ugly toes: What did grandma do to you?

J: I want to be a policeman to help the country.
Me: I would rather you do something more peaceful.
J: Like yoga?
M: Like a librarian?
J: I  want to be an overachiever. Do you think I can have like three jobs and be like a policeman during the morning and a scientist in the afternoons and a musician on the weekends?
M: I think my starter job is going to be a babysitter.

M: Can you not let the babies go to my room? I have not taken precautions.

Sleep is F&*^#^%#(d!

We threw away our chupetes yesterday and all hell has broken loose. It took forever to go to sleep last night and I just quit trying to make them nap after an hour of BULLSHIT. They were falling asleep on our way home and do anything but stay in their beds, even as I sit and guard them. There is singing, playing, jumping, laughing, turning on lights... it is truly a miracle that more people do not beat their children. It is enough to drive a saint to drink and I am far from a saint. So they will be grumpy this afternoon and tired tonight and I have thrown away 3 hours of my life accomplishing nothing in just the past day. I actually could not care less if they are tired tonight as I will not be putting them to sleep. Oh what a joy. I wonder what life would be like if I had a single kid who respected me.
PS L put them to bed in 5 minutes- the cherry on the cake!

Aaaaaand We're Back!

Vacation time has come to an official close with the return to NYC. Road trip to NC via DC and Philly, topped with Sesame Place was a hit. Despite no washer and the shaggiest and nastiest rug ever we had a blast. Beach was beautiful, dunes were cool, pool was nearby (and I drove the kids there myself!). Highlights included fishing for J, mini golf, watching both midgets cry at an amusement park (they had to stop the rides), snuggling with baby M, and spending time with C& E. The volume of crap to deal with (mail, laundry, unpacking, appointments) is overwhelming but I am trying to get ahead before school starts up again. Here are some lines from the last few days:

V: Mamá, you say puta male?

J: Who decides if you get buried or burned?
Me: You do.
J: So John Lemmon did not have a chance to decide.

V likes to call people: Pee in the butt (he means pain).

We recently discovered that he is a parrot and that he has a flawless memory. He started chanting in the car: I hate piano! I want to skip piano (perfect imitation of J)

M: Do you think I will be a great driver like papi or an average one like you, no offense?

Me to V: Do not worry.
V: I have to worry. I already worried.

J as we left before dawn: Is this the speck of dawn?

V to me: I give you a timeout.
Me: You cannot. I am older than you.
V: I am older.

M after crying because C had left: I just want  you to know I love you as much as I love C.
V: Oh, thanks, I feel better.
M: I just have a special connection with her.

Recently

 V to E: Do not knock down my castle or I am going to say I hate you, be quiet and shut up.

Me to J: Are you dressed to go fishing and making your own breakfast?
J: Yes, like a man should.

V to me on the beach: I am going to get you a new dress, yours is all sandy. I have a wallet and a metrocard.

A to me: Do you like gum and candy and presents?
Me: I like presents.
A: Then poop mama. You have to poop.

A with my coffee mug in her hand: You may not drink my coffee.

J: Do you think I am skinny enough to fit through the bars of jail?
Me: Your head would get stuck.
J: I will use a hurdle( girdle) to shrink it.

Just Now

V: What are you doing?
Me: pipi
V: I am not going to say yay!
Me: Ok.
V: Okay, a little yay:)

Summer!

is coming to a close. Miami was fabulous- our hosts were gracious and patient and generous as always. Tomorrow morning we are off for a mega road trip to NC via DC. Twodlers have been up to their antics destroying homes and (sort of) potty training (more on that another time). When grandpa came over to day bye tonight, he said to duo "Here's trouble one and trouble two" to which A responded, "You are trouble three!" When V ran like a maniac down the street (and almost into it) I sprinted to him and asked "what do you think you are doing?" to which he replied: "I am superman!" I look forward to these days out of town and to the beach with C & E and baby M!

Twodler Update

V: Are you happy?
Me: Yes, are you?
V: No, because my daddy hit me in a time out.
Me: Papi no te pega (he does not hit you).
V: Yeah, I am funny. My other daddy hit me.
Me: Oh, I am sorry.
V: That's okay.

Me to MoJo: If you two stop fighting I will give you a prize.
J: Like what? Gum? Maybe a toy? A book?
Me: Maybe a cash prize.
J: A baby brother?

A to me: Is your gum spicy (what I tell her when she asks for some)? You can spit it in my hand and I will eat it.

A after she peed in her underpants for the second time today: Don't worry mamá- it's an accident.

J said he wanted to stay with L and the babies (old habit- hard to abandon the moniker). V inquired: Can I see L's babies?
_______

The diaperless movement is having some ups and downs. We are doing better than in Miami but still not so hot. I want to avoid diapers and not use them as a fall back but I do not want a shitty car or a lake in every corner of the house. Ugh.

Yesterday the duo went to BT for the first time in weeks to participate in the cubby ceremony. This small ritual is very special and consists of a child walking his/her cubby over to the next room. Last year A marched her cubby over to the toddler room and kept calling V, who had no interest, over to the room. Yesterday was the exact opposite- V ran across BT (bigger trip) and flung his cubby into the Big Kid Room (BKR). Midway across the "bridge" to the BKR, A threw her cubby down and started screaming and melting down. I had to pick her and her cubby up. When I asked her about it later, she said "I do not need it." I asked her if she was sad or scared to leave the toddler room she confirmed. Little A- not so big after all.

Minis

A (as she takes off her underpants): I am maked. Take off your pants and get maked (to J).

V: Can I have a medialuna?
Me: You just had a churro.
V: Okay, can I have a medialuna first?

V (holding an invisible phone): Wait a second mama. I am on the phone.

Playground pronounced by twodlers: A: prayground, V: payground

V: Where is your culito papi?
A: He is sitting on it.

Happy Birthday C!!

Your first bday as a mamma. Happy month to baby M. Cannot wait to see you both.
XOXOXO

Lines

A to me: Are you a grown up?

V: I pooped in my pants like a lady (upon checking his underwear he had skid makes- more lady like than a turd?)

V to me (thank you MoJo): You are stupid and you are not funny.

J to me: You are not nice. You only got me two toys here. You treat me like a piece of dirt.

M on her "boyfriend": We like each other but you know, more than regular like. (G-d help me)

A to me: Are those petetas (her version of tetas) for (baby) M and (tia) C?

M: Are you going to have another baby?
Me: I do not think so.
M: Why not?
Me: It is a lot of work.
M: WHat do you mean? You just haev to do the thing, be pregnant and have the baby.
Me: Well, there is breastfeeding,
M: You are an expert at that, not like C.

Recent Lines

A to tia E- You are older and you can have gum and candy and make up.

J to abuelo- You are the best grandfather in the world but don't tell I (grandpa) or he will kill me.

M re not attending a sleepover at tio G's- I do not think he wants to take care of two fighting children so I rather not go. Do you think he will take it personally?

A to V- You a baby and I am a grown up.

Me to V: Are you a twin?
V: No.
Me to A: Are you a twin?
A: No, I just share with V.

Crazy Duo

Yesterday's highlights included AleVit trying on everything they could at H&M and melting down when I would not buy the Hello Kitty umbrella, hat, and purse. Part two involved them getting into the elevator and the door closing (M was distracted) as I listened in horror to them crying and laughing. My neighbor went up, M went down, and I stayed on two, where, when the door opened, the elevator, to my horror was empty. WTF? M found them in a lobby. A couple more minutes and they would have been walking to Dunkin Donuts! A and V got into a huge physical smack down yesterday as well. I had to carry A after V ripped out a CLUMP of her hair (he was holding it in his hand very non-chalantly) and they began to slap each other across the face! The best part for all was AleVit fawning over baby M. They look HUGE next to her. A ran to get her a noni and pete when she cried and both tried to stroke her head all the time. V noted "I am big. My hands are so big and my nails are big" as he sat by her. When I remarked how blond he was to M. he said "I am a blondie. You have blue hair." We have some new funny neologisms: Cockcorn (popcorn), humprella (umbrella) , caramali (that is J's word for calamari).

Kid Honesty

Me after coloring my hair: How does my hair look?

M: Fake.

J: It looks the same but better. You look younger.

A after I tooted: Say excuse me.

Me: Excuse me.

A: Thank you.

On A Roll

We (MoJo et moi) have been non-stop erranding since yesterday.
Yesterday: BT-dentist for ortho referral-gyno (east)-home-haircut (buzz- J)-ortho visit (way uptown)- piano lesson (UWS)- bank/fro-yo etc-back to Harlem to pay barber, print pics art CVS and then the evening with all 4 solo.
Today: School for errands, Book Culture, Church to drop off megabags-Pinkberry-Old Navy/H& M (have to return most of what I bought) and then home for piano and an afternoon of library & park with all 4 monkeys.
Potty training is going pretty well- A pooped yesterday! Stay tuned for the poop accident story.

Today's Thoughts

Me: Toddlers do not eat gum.
A: I am not a toddler. I am a nena.

J: When you kiss can you breathe?

Me: Si no te acostás me voy (if you do not lay down I am going to leave).
A: Ok. Leave.

J: Why are they naked in bed?
M: It's called having sex.
J: What is sex?

A when I accused her of something: I not. So be fine mamá.

Twodler Talk

V, pointing to doll: That is my baby
A: No
V, pushing it in the stroller: That baby came out of my belly.

V: One time I fell off a motorcycle.

or another favorite

V: One time I was up in the sky with a monster.

V Goes Diaperless

He loves underpants. He can pee on command. Not sure that he ever asks to pee. We used our first public bathroom (not counting bushes) today and he was out almost all day sans diaper. He did his first poop in the potty (he is grinning from ear to ear in the picture) but has not repeated the cool trick. I think he is trying not to poop in general. A no longer cares about princess underpants and is not into potty training at all with me (but is with L and at BT apparently). V told me he wants her "princess underpants." He wore a pair of J's underwear today and was proud. They speak like real people now. V likes the expression "one time" and told A she it was "gusting to poop in a diaper." A says "actually" and steals candy and gum and coffee and any other illicit substance while she tells you "I not eat it" or "Babies no comen candy" all the while doing the opposite. One of her favorite verboten items is toothpaste, even the "spicy" ones she likes.

Wrapping Up

This week has been looong. It began with our final installment of the stomach bug (nice to drag from one week to the next!) with poor M staying home on Monday. She called me no fewer than 8 times and  left me little notes all over the house. As sad as it is when your kids don't feel well, they sure get more docile and sweet. F was kind enough to have his illness abroad and A and I emerged as the only unscathed family members. Week 2 of July camp wraps up today. Little M is over a week old now and seems to be sleeping like a champ and learning to eat. I hear from my mother, who is over in PA, that all she does is sleep and eat (not sure what other skill she could show off at this point but my mother seems to think she could cry more or something) and that her parents are happy and relaxed. As much as tía C denies it, I feel an overwhelming sadness at this distance, never to be shortened, that now lies between us. When I had M we saw each other every day and had the luxury of seeing each other more than once a day if we wanted to. Tía C was and is such an integral part of her life, that I understood her jealousy when she said "now she has to take care of a baby and I will see her less." I will do my best to visit as I am sure they will but I will never be able to be a fraction of who she was to my children. With no other sibling remotely close to parenthood and no chances on F's side of the family, it just doesn't look like I am going to have the chance to be a super (present) tía.

Today's Crop

A to V: You are right, give me a high five (he does). Good job!

A, disrobing as she eats: I take this off so no se ensucia.

J upon seeing a completely covered Muslim woman: Is she a ninja? Can I wear that for Halloween?

J when I asked him if I should cut my hair: It could look kind of good, not worse than now. Do not get mad if you do not like it.

Banter

V to J at playground on vehicle: I am driving to Miami.
J: There is Miami up ahead!
V scoffs: That is not Miami, that is the playground!

V: Is gusting!

V: Don't touch my boo boo
A: I not. I kiss it (smooch)

BT teacher: You are going to fall off the chair and get hurt.
V: I want to fall off the chair and I want to get hurt.

A, appropriately: Oh Jesus! (where the f did she hear that?)

A, also as if she knew what she was saying: Facki facki facki! (I think I know where she heard that)

J when he learned I did not bring goggles: I wish you were smarter today and had packed goggles.

M, after being home all day sick: At least now I can see baby M when someone goes to Philadelphia.

V, obsessed with all vehicles: I drive the digger and you go in the backseat.

V and A to M and J: Guys, don't squeam in my ears!

J to me: I love you and everything that you do for me.

WELCOME BABY M!!

and then she was born. With great timing (labor started as we drove effortlessly, against all rhyme or reason) and many of her New York family here. She is a patriotic baby. She was born exactly one month before her mother's bday just like my first born and they share four letter names beginning with M and ending in A. Yay! I am an aunt. An aunt who lives far away. An aunt who brought a violent stomach bug with her and has been unable to spend an iota of time with bebé, but an aunt all the same. M is thrilled and overcame her jealous (her first welcome home sign read: Welcome Home Stupid Baby) fit to sink into a "I don't want to leave Philadelphia" one. I arrived at the birthing center an hour and a half after she was born (E's text "progressing slowly" was followed by "It's a girl!" less than an hour later). When F arrived with the brood I took them each in for a minute. J was shy, M was in love, A gave a her a suspicious look and V asked "What she doing?" When I explained nursing, he then stated "She come out of C's belly." He gets it. When I later asked him his cousin's name he chuckled: "Sea Sauce. Just Joking." Tía C was a real champ. All natural, super fast pushing, and in case she forgets, she told F that is was all unpleasant, that she would not do it again, and all sorts of other notions that you forget in order to promote the human species. So, we leave tomorrow am. I spent a total of five minutes with baby M, but enough to testify that she is very cute and small and has super long fingers (not from my side of the family). Congratulations to the new parents. May you sleep and enjoy this super fleeting phase!

Banter...

M: How much is it to have a baby in the hospital?
Me: A lot. But you have insurance.
M: I am deciding if I want a midwife or a hospital. But I am going to get insurance

J: Do you think I should be a garbage man, a recycling man, a drummer, a scientist or work in a soup kitchen?

J: You better shape up mamá.
Me: Why?
J: Because you have a hernia.

A: I want to go to BT!
V: No, I go to Miami! I need to go to Miami.

V to J: I do not need your high five (ouch!)

Yay! Booh.....

Let's start with the bad news first. I discovered a lump by my navel yesterday and to make a long story short, it is a hernia. I have just fat (yum) poking out through the weakened abdominal muscles (intestines would be an emergency) and I may or may not need to get it repaired. It is depressing to be so defective. How many operations and problems can one pseudo healthy person have? Put me down for quadruple wisdom tooth removal, double knee arthroscopic surgery and two microdiscs. What the duck?

Okay, the good news is that J can read!! Not like fluidly or anything but the process has taken off. Very happy for him. Also, V peed in the potty last night and tonight. He proudly called abuela and said "I peed in the potty. I talk to grandpa." Once he was on the phone, V upped it to "I pooped on the potty." He is ambitious. If this streak continues, he will get to choose big boy underpants- an item I will actually splurge on for this midget.

Off to feel bad about myself and my dilapidated body (CAT scan revealed all sorts of signs of my broken self) and to eat something.

New Ones

As J yelled at A, V interrupted: Don't hit me Wakeenee.

A, as F blew in her face: Papi, don't blow me, blow Gaffar.

A to V: Sorry.
V: Don't do it again!

Me to A: No me pegues en la panza (don't hit my belly)
V: Be gentle with mamá's baby.
Me: No tengo un bebé pero tienen que ser "gentle" con el bebé de C.
V & A in unison: Arrorró Mimito, arrorró mi corazón.

M: Before Martin Luther King, when there were racists still, I saw that bathrooms said colored or white. Would they have made me go in the colored?

A to L: V need a timeout.
V to L: Don't listen to A.

PS

I forgot the best part. The joy on V's face and the hug that he gave A when they were reunited after a (long for him) 3 hour break up. Too damn cute when they spontaneously kiss and hug. True love.

Oh What a Twodler Day!

AleVit started their day by taking the subway, with their 9 month pregnant aunt to BT (brave on both of our parts). They were apparently impeccably behaved at 7am as they headed for a special (auction won) breakfast pre BT hours. V later reported:I have pancakes with sauce in the toddler room. The sauce is sticky in BT.

As if there were not enough of an aberration from our schedule, A went for a special play date with a classmate after BT. She got picked up by the mother, went to their house, had dinner and ice cream, played, and came home at 6:30pm (what a curfew!!) on a bicycle (with a helmet), with her friend's dad. If that is not a kicking social life for a 2.4 year old, I do not know what is!

Little Talk

V, as F cursed looking for his keys : Papi- you don't have your keys? Use your hand to close the door!

A, whispering to her teacher at BT: I drink mamá's coffee.

V: Abuelo L not do a sorpresa to me in playground today.

Me: Querés que me enoje (do you want me to get mad)?
V, smiling: Yeah.

Me: Sit down and finish your dinner.
J: I am sick and tired of you bossing me around.

Busy Bees

This weekend has been bursting with MoJo activity. We had M's first piano recital on Friday (she did very well and the whole event was only 15 min long!). Sat am brought the usual triple swim, followed by the unusual schlep to midtown for J (from swimsuit to tie and jacket), who participated in a special piano concert with his piano teacher. Playground in the pm rounded out the day followed by 7!! 45 min episodes of The Killing (I recommend this show) that kept us up until 1:40am. Poor choice. J began to cry (as did A) and the am brought a dr's appt (J has an ear infection) and a swim meet for M (J abstained). Duo behaved like maniacs at the pool (A stripped down to her diaper, wore goggles and insisted she was swimming, V threw a croc in the pool) and I took them home once F arrived with our mohawked ear infected J. M got a first (breast stroke) and two third (freestyle and backstroke) ribbons. Yay! Off to Costco & Target before we go do a family father's day celebration. Camp begins tomorrow!

Yesterday/Today

J: When I die can you bury me with all of my stuffed animals?

V: I fight a big doggie.
teacher: Kids do not fight doggies. It is dangerous. You need to be gentle.
V: I fight a little doggie?

V when he could not make the park water fountain work: No tiene baterías?

V to an intern at BT who was about to change him: You need blubs (gloves)!

Me: Hoy viene papá!
A: I'm going to kiss him!

J after listening to a conversation about labor: It is like poop. You have to push!

J (while pooping): I am about to get very hungry because food is coming out of me. I am undigesting. Is that a word?

These Kids...

J to F as we walked up Lenox Ave; Let's have some me and you time when we get home and play with my action figures okay?

J when I told M that she looked like a young lady, gesturing breasts: This process already started.

J when he saw two dead bees: Please can I have them? I have been alive for six years and I have never seen a dead bee!

V to himself in the car: Don't throw up!

Me to M re Harry Styles (her celebrity crush) and Taylor Swift: You are more interesting than Taylor Swift but you are a little young for Harry Styles.
J: And he would not like you because you do not have boobs or hair on your butt or your conchita

Things To Remember, Be Thankful For, Record

Abuelo L flying from MIA to NYC for 29 hours to take MoJo to see Paul McCartney! Once in a lifetime experience!

J's first mohawk- hours before the concert. Rock it!

Leaving the house without a stroller recently and seeing the parade of little people going down the ramp, all mine, all talking and walking. Crazy.

Seeing tía C, about to become a mother, maybe for the last time sans bebé- in for the ride of her life. About to become an aunt for the first time!! Will any other sibling give me sobrinos before I am in a wheel chair??

Attending my 20th (WTF?) high school reunion and remembering who all the asshole were/are- some things never change!

One more day of school and then moving up, graduation, camp prep.... each school year goes by increasingly fast. By fall I will have a first grader, a third grader and two kids in the Big Kids Room! How did this happen?

Midget Talks

V: I threw my babero. Mamá's gonna scream. Are you watching "Good Luck Charlie"? I am.
(he narrates his every thought like this very often)

J to me: Your hair is dull.
Me: Boring or not shiny?
J: It is not fresh.

A, every time I drink coffee: Mamá, mamá, I try jew coffee? A sip?

A & V every time we leave without the stroller: I run ahead?

J: I am going to be a robber when I grow up.
Me: What?
J: If I cannot get a job.

V: L se porta mal. She jump on my bed. She was bleebing (yes with a b). She write on the wall with a lápiz. She throw food.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

one day late but still heartfelt- happy anniversary to E & C who next time this year will celebrate as 3!!

Más

V to A as he pushed his stroller: Excuse me dalring!

M to V showing him pictures of One Direction: Who do you like the best?
V: I like the Beatles!

V to anyone who will listen: My little doggy is going to bite you!

V to A: Is your oatmeal hot?
A: No.
V: Is it bueno?
A: Yeah
V: Oh, ok (I love hearing their random conversations)

A this am: Mama, mama, mama (the more excited we are the more we stutter), do you want to play a game?

V, who clearly has the memory of an elephant like his sister M: I want to go to Miami.
Me: Qué hay en Miami?
V: I wanna see the flowers in the pool.
Me: Qué más?
V: Churros!
Me: Qué más?
V: Some buckets.

V: I am going to make the music (bangs) and you can dance A!
A: No!
V: Dance! When I stop the music you stop. I need a guitar.

I wish there were a baby memory competition. V would kick baby butt. He could also make us rich as a voiceover actor for cartoons, if he would just learn his lines.

Recently

Me: Why do you have a lunch box?
J: I put my little stuffed animals there for a time out, or to carry them.

J: When they invented the word "computer", did it take like 100 years for computers to then be invented?

V running to tío D with a stethoscope: I am a doctah foh youuuuu Daybihd!

M: Jackson is on the $20 bill.
J: Michael Jackson or Jackson Pollock?

J: Can we get puppets like in What About Bob? to talk to each other?

J: I do not want to change presidents. I do not want a world without Arock Obama.

Lines

V-I want pasta. More pasta.
F- There is no more pasta.
V- I want potatoes. Two big potatoes.
F- We do not have any.
V- I want pretzels. Big pretzels

J to F- There is a line in your armpit. Probably a mimp (convinced this is the word for pimple) or something. Why did you get a permanent tattoo? Why does it hurt?

J to F- You cannot sword fight like that with a bald head. You need a hoodie or a hat. You cannot be cool with a bald head.

J- I want my birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. There are games and there is Chuck and you get a crown. What would you want more?

J to me- They are playing with an ear cleaner again (tampon)!

J at hip hop show- I am going to dye my skin brown.

V at 9:30pm at night after having taken dramamine- I like the car!

J- The importantest things in the world are trees and money. Trees give you oxygen and money gets you food and toys.

M, about to cry in the bathroom right after our return from PA- I miss (tía) C. Why does she have to live in stupid Philadelphia? (I second that emotion/question)

Whirlwind

The last few days have been. I had a dear friend here from out of town so lots of meals. I had to finish over 90 reports. I did the Aids Walk in the rain (thank you for your support!) and I am tutoring up the whazoo as  my kids are prepping for exams.  Tired. Will blog good lines soon. Night night.

Excerpts from M's Sentence Notebook (Sentences with Spelling Words)

Being strong is something excellent.
I like writing but, it's not my favorite.
Four is more than 1 (Duh).
Golden is my second least favorite color.
I can be unkind when I am mad.
My baby brother smashed our radio to pieces.
I always like to finish an argument.
My dad has a hairy chest.
I have never seen anything hatch.
I drink all drinkable liquids.
I'm not the only kid in my family, there are others.
I am very bad at digging.
My parents say my body is perfect, not fat, not skinny.
My aunt S' dog is fuzzy.
I am not that lazy.
I can be very silly or very mature.
My brother is SO good at waking me up.

Big Boy Bed (BBB)

V got a hand me down toddler bed yesterday. He was very excited to go to bed. He looked so big sleeping in a real (mini) bed. In the middle of the night he woke up calling for F, who found him sitting on the floor, confused, by the bed. A is getting hers tomorrow ( a bed that we got third generation handed down, gave to a friend who passed it to a neighbor, who is giving it back to us) and then bedtime will really get interesting. Another vestige of babyhood out the door.

Some Lines

J: If you do not let me quit swimming I am going to get adopted.

V to A as they fought about whose motorbike a motorbike on the street was: That my motorbike. A, relax. I get you a motorbike purple.

J: I want to make a law that dogs wear a leash on their belly so it does not hurt their neck.

J: Can I one day have drum lessons with Ringo?

J's Arguments for Getting a Pet Turtle

1. I want something to love me besides my family
2. I want to see turtle poop.
3. I want to see what they can survive and can't.
4. I want to have something to teach.
5. I want something to shop for.
6. I want something that I can love.
7. I want something to show off.
8. I want to teach him how to be a ninja turtle.
9. I want to teach him how to skateboard.
10. I want him to be a test turtle. If I want to know if the zucchini is good I will make him try it.
11

. I am going to feel happy when I set him free.

Delinquents & Fiddlers

This weekend M was a Jewish village child in our school's production of Fiddler on the Roof. She was beaming and so cute. She sang in many songs and reminded me so much of how I adored acting in musicals as a kid.

J's teacher confiscated (and gave me) his Lego Moleskine notebook. On the bright side, he began to write (inventive spelling) and draw. On the not so hot side, most of his drawings were porn (very clear genitalia for a not so sophisticated artist) and he enjoyed narrating the scenes to his classmates.

AleVit's new thing is to ask me to sing "arrorró" to them at bed/naptime. While that sounds sweet, they proceed to belt it out like a show tune, undermining the point of a lullaby. They crack each other up!

Más Chatter

Kindergarten boy while making a self portrait: Girls have longer eyelashes because they are more sensitive-y

J to V: You are really busting my nerds.

M on a large piece of rolled up paper: From Anonymous to A.F. (8th grade boy): I LOVE YOU.

J, disgusted at the littering on the street: When I grow up  I am not going to be a scientist, I am going to be a garbage man!

J: I have a feeling that at some point in my life I will go to jail.

M to me: Why are you so interested in us behaving well?

J massaging a chicken at the supermarket: Can I admire him since he was killed for us to eat?

J when I beat him in a race in which I was pushing a stroller: You won because you have six legs and four are wheels.

J: Can I officially grow up to have no job?

J: Can we get a pet?
Me: No.
J: A pet bee?

J: Can you get me sparkling white pants and a shirt? Shiny.

V when I bumped into him by BT: Mamá, go cook!

A, thrashing outside our neighbor's home (they were out): Mom! Mom! I want to see mom! (Not me)

Good Times

for real. Had a great last two weeks or so. Auction is over. Was not as lucrative as I hoped but it was fine. Work with filmmaker and subsequent writing and correspondence has been exciting. More on that later. Watching Central Park Five and it is outrageous- never give in to pressure when you are on a jury- you may ruin MANY lives. Depressing shit- hope to blog on that later. MoJo and AleVit lines coming tomorrow too I hope. BT Spanish was phenomenal last week. My group of 2 two and three year olds played animal charades; it was incredible! I am off to sleep before the new week begins. Notte!

More Backlog of Lines

J to F: You guys love me less because I am different than you.
F: Why?
J: Because I believe in G-d and you do not. I am Jewish and you are not.
____
J: Do not tell people the funny things I say. I want it to be personal.
___
J: Can we move to Singapore? I am sick of all of the gum on the sidewalk. It is disgusitng.
___
M: Would you have married papi if he looked like how he does now?
__
J: Can you make me spinach and carrots and milk every day so I can have strong bones and eyes?
__
J: Girls have three privates and boys have two. Actually girls have four, six if you count the niblets.
___
Me: We are going to ask the restaurant for a gift certificate for the auction.
J: They will give it you if they think you are pretty.
__
J: Were you born in the 1880's?
__
M to J : You should put less pressure on mamá and appreciate her more. Lots of kids do not even get to leave the country like we do.
__
J: I would kill myself to save you.
__
J: Can you punish me so I cannot watch tv? While M watches tv, I want to learn to read. So please punish me so I can learn to read.

I Am

Sitting in my living room after a day at school followed by music school, picking M up with J, coming home for dinner etc and jetting out to tutor. Fresh direct is coming between 10-11:30pm. Opted to not watch crap TV and eat but rather sit down (avec du vin) to transcribe my interview with Shannon. I feel invigorated. What an honor to have met such a cool woman, filmmaker. Now I need to get my rusty intellectual and writing wheels going to bang out a decent piece to post and hopefully promote her film. If you see it playing ANYWHERE, make sure to see Towheads (2013). I will be sharing my interview and review of the film on skipriporplay.com soon! Here's to using my brain for film this evening!

Backlog of Lines...

J: For Halloween, can we dress up at Family Times?

J: Tomorrow night I am going to escape

J, during an episode of Family Times where the mother is in labor: Why don't they show her pa-china?

J: So many things happen in life.

J, rubbing my back: Wax on, wax off.

J: When I am a grown up I am going to be like MLK and defend animals.

V, as I stood on the window sill yelling at M for breaking the blinds: Do you need help?

V, looking down at his worn down "new" hand me down boots: My shoes are cool. My shoes are dirty.

V & A every 15 minutes, toddler 1: I don't like it!
toddler 2 (they alternate roles) : I don't like it either!
Note that is A is saying this overused line, she pauses in between each word, jutting her chin out for emphasis.

M: Are you the tooth fairy and Santa and all of those characters? Do not tell me because I do not want you to spoil it for me but please tell me when I am older.

J: I am too busy. I do not want to go swimming any more. I need the whole weekend to relax.

J: This family is having a real rough time today.

Me to J: You cannot say "fucking asshole to your sister."
J: I did not. My action figure called another action figure "fuck ass"
( I feel better now).

V Oh V

V is a maniac at bed time. He is like a one man show. He knows I will close the door if he does not at least try to go to sleep. As he jumped in the pack and play making it move all over the room at bedtime, he chanted "Close the door. Hurry up! Close the door." When he subsequently got out of his crib again, I asked M to tell him to go back in or I would be angry. He came running into my room with a big grin and said "I am happy." The last time I went into his room (I passed the task along to tío D as I was leaving to tutor), I found him on the top bunk. The glitter in his eye and the smirk on his face as he waits for my reaction in these situations is priceless. He said laughing as I hoisted him down: You are leaving? I am leaving!

As I got A to wear her first nightgown, V asked me to put a (tiny- it was in a pile to give away) Asian dress on him. I asked him if he was sure (he is a very cute girl too). As soon as he was in it he twirled! He looked like a sausage in it but it seemed like the thing to do.

Images to Remember

In the midst of being a NYSAIS prisoner in school, tutoring like a maniac and the MTA sucking on the same day as there was some fucking parade that paralyzed the city, here are some images/stories I want to remember:

Last night I turned around as I was watching dishes, MoJo was on the couch finishing a movie, it was past bed time. What do I see? V, in his Superman pajamas (his belly is so large and his blonde hair so long that he looks hilarious in it!) just standing in the middle of the living room. He got out of the crib, came down the stairs, and thought he would watch some Grease with the big kids.

Yesterday at nap, I left the room (mistake- need to stand guard from the get go) and came back to V on the top bunk. He was waiting for me to yell, but I did not (I am practicing self control) and he did a little shake and said "Yeah!" to me. He fell asleep right away while A, drove me crazy for an hour until I canceled her nap.

J woke up with his tooth, which has been loose for a while now, in a horizontal position. So gross! He did not really brush his teeth or eat but refused to try to take it out. A friend of his told me "his tooth is wiggling hard." I tried to bribe him, no dice. His teacher convinced him (also with a bribe) and when she went to put her hand in his mouth, he jerked away and the tooth fell out. Glad I missed that one!

I realized that I lost many funny lines that I thought I posted yesterday. Not posted. Or saved. Sad. Will try to reconstruct, but very frustrating! Good night. One day of NYSAIS and two of F in Brazil- done!!

Coming to a Head!

Everything that could be at a "I need your attention now" point is there. My school is having their 10 year accreditation visit starting Sunday (so I need to prepare lesson plans, make my room look impeccable, dress better etc), F is leaving for Brazil on Saturday. I need to churn out the auction catalog NOW- it is in a little over two weeks. I have the chance to interview a filmmaker whose film I loved (first time I have asked someone for an interview of this sort) and she said yes! (but when?) and the chance of buying a three bedroom may be real. Oh yes, that would involve me cleaning out our current home and painting it to show it to sell it first. Do you see what I mean? WTF? I need to make it through the next two weeks and then I can make it through anything I guess. Did I mention that A and V no longer follow a bedtime routine? They get out (V instigates) or V screams and demands that I, or someone stay there. It is a horrible regression and puts a big crimp in my tutoring style, which assumes that I can leave the quartet with ONE sitter so that I can tutor at a normal hour. If that person needs to wrestle the duo, it is unlikely that the other two can go to bed normally.... a disaster. F put the side back on A's crib, which covered in black duct tape, just makes the room even more orphanage like than it was before. Hey, at least I paid my taxes- that was on my to do list for weeks! Off to make dinner and to tutor. May the force be with me.

Lines

As J spoke disparagingly of an old babysitter I asked what was wrong with her: She had tone. She only babysat us for money.
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A and V whenever they see our neighbor (her son is their friend): Mom! Mom! Look mom! (no matter how many times I tell them her name they insist).
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A to V this am: V, are you crazy? (this sentence was uttered at least 6 times by my mother yesterday when we went over to her house for the first time since V's new turbo mode)

Long Time No Post

Miami is now a distant memory, even if a fun one. Family was fab, food delicious, park and beach great, and everyone was very patient with the hurricane that our presence is in anyone's home.

Here are some recent lines:

J on his snails to abuelo: Take care of them. They are part of our family now.

J to me as I woke him up very early to leave for the airport: I love you mamá. Sorry I said those mean things (referring to an incident the day before- too sweet).

V: I want to go home! I need to go home. (was not sure what he meant when we are in Miami and I am even less sure now that we are home).

J at the airpot: I take back everything mean I said. This is the best family!

J in the car: I get it now. Abuelo R is your father and Abuela S is your mother. Grandpa and VH are your stepparents (hallelujah!)

Me to J: Abuelo R did not make me a sandwich, I am jealous.
J: That is because he is an old man now, he takes care of us.

J looking at the American flag in Miami: Why do they have our flag here? This is not America.

Me taking to tía C: I do not care.
V, chiming in: I do not care either!

J to M: Is Billy Joel still married to the lady from the (Uptown Girl) video?
M: No, they are divorced.
J: It is a shame, she was a sexy lady.

J to tía E:You know what's not normal? We are in the same family and we never see you guys naked. Me: J. she is a girl and you are a boy, so that is pretty normal that you do not see her naked. Do you want to see abuelo naked?
J: No thank you. He is rusty and hairy. Disgusting. Revolting.
Me: You will be hairy and rusty too one day.
J: No. Yuck!

Mini Banter

V: I salgo cama. Awesome.

V, as he shoved pasta into his mouth with his fist: A, use your fork!

A now loves grabbing coins from a big vat my father has. She rubs her fingers together on both hands  and says: mama, my money. Mucho money. This evening she showed me a window sill where she was collecting pennies. She proudly counted them for me and also showed me the cat food she was eating.

Getting Into The Groove

Yesterday was a good day. We beached it up in the morning and spent the afternoon in a playground with a friend with kids. Oh yes, on the way to the playground the car started making weird noises until it began to smell and smoke and come to a full and complete stop. On the side of the road. With the heat. And the four kids. Another reason I could never be a driver. Luckily for us, our friends were near by and came to pick me and the four kids up. Just like with the lock, F was out of commission as he waited for AAA to come tow the truck. After the triumvirate of vomit, lock and car, I am hoping for a respite. Why oh why didn't I borrow some high chairs? Some little prison like system for these two tornadoes. Today's highlights include A and V opening neighbor's door only to be met by their dogs. V also emptied a bottle of Alleve, sprayed bug spray onto a toothbrush, spilled a wheel barrow's worth of water onto the floor... You get the idea. We are one third of the way through the day. I hope a nap and some fun in the sun awaits today.

Más Miami

J- When I am a teenager I am moving to Miami.

Me to A: si no te calmas te voy a tirar por la ventana (if you do not calm down I am Ingrid to throw you out the window).
A: la ventana se rompe.

J to abuelo: When I die do you think I will go to heaven and meet G-d or just lay there like the (imitates a roach in its back)?

M to me: Good news, I lost a pound in the last hour!

Vacation From My Vacation

I forgot that being n vacation actually involves double the work, but in an unfamiliar environment. These kids are in rare form. They did not nap and they are currently getting out of their pack and plays over and over again cracking themselves up. The last time I left the room I opened the door to find V in the suitcase and A running amok. V just threw his pacifier and lovvie at me and is dismantling the crappy pack and play. Did I mention that it is bright as day in the room they are in? Bedtime is going to be a daily issue. F  Has been working on a lock problem or my father, who is at work, for the past 2.5 hours. Ad he is not done. He just told me that he is going to a hardware store. Okay, I convinced him to go later. I am exhausted and we have been here less than a day. The plane ride was pretty rough as A never stayed still, she was on me of course, and constantly tried to put boogers on me, take my shirt off, head butt me, twist my neck skin into my chain. You get the idea, sheer relaxation. The only cool thing I did was get both kids on the plane without paying for their tickets. If we manage to do it again, we will have saved $900. We could of course, get caught not he way back. Other highlights of the day include V moaning  the whole way on the cab, only to have  A, what tricksters, vomit her brains out a few feet, literally, from the airport. I am off to do some major vomit laundry. May the little ones go to sleep at some point soon. The weather is nice...

J Lines

J, to nobody in particular in the tub with V: Don't mess with my brother or you are messing with the big guy!

Me; Who are you talking to ?

J : practicing for when he gets bullied

By the way, the plant is not stable. If it tips over, the roots can get uncomfortable.

Look at my belly. I am not going to grow up to be a strong man. I am going to grow up to be a fat man.

Mamá- trust us, we are your kids.

Back From The Dead

This has been quite a week. J began to get droopy and lethargic on Saturday. Without going on and on, I can tell you that the last five days were crazy. Each day he seemed weaker and would just sit or lay down everywhere. He spent most of Tuesday at the nurse. When he was awake he was catatonic-like most of the time. I took him to the doctor on Tues. Doctors, it turns out, do not have many answers. He did not have strep, he was not anemic. Instant depression? A rare disease? The weirdest part was no other symptom. No pain, no fever, no cold, no diarrhea, no nada. Yesterday he stayed home and slept almost entire day. Napped from 8-11am from 2-5 pm and was in bed at 6:45pm. At 3:30 am he came to my bed full of energy to say "I have two pillows, do you want to sleep in my bed?" To make him be quiet, I went to his bed. He continued: "Do you think Papi is lonely now?" Me: I don't know. You can go back to my bed, I am staying here in yours. J: "I know. I was just thinking." Thankfully he went back to sleep and when he awoke at 7am, he was back to his usual whistling, karate chopping self. It was very strange and sudden. A virus? A growth spurt? Sudden and acute depression? All I know, is that I am happy he is back. V is now high on the radar, the worst behaved two year old I ever had. More on that later. Never. A. Dull. Moment. NADM!

New Ones

J watching F write the check for $100 for the BS fine; $100 for vacation? Are you serious? He should be fired!
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J; Can you do that? A big favor for your son. Ice cold water. A little deal. Would you do that for your greatest son? Yeah! yeah!
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Me to V: Mi gordito
V: Mi panza.
Me: Dónde está la panza?V: Se fue.
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V to A, crib side is finally dead and she now sleeps in it with no side: A-lita, sale cama! (she did a few times but for the most part basks in the beauty of her big girl bed)
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J: What does the sign say? No What?
Me: No smoking. You need to smoke outside.
Once outside, J: I am smoking a party (pretending to smoke).
Me: What?
J: Papi told me. Smokin' a party. It is fun!

Recent Lines

M: Were you born in 1987?

Me: No.

M: 1997?

_____

On J's four leaf clover that featured 4 things he is lucky to have: Shoes, our president, my family, my house.

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V, holding a stethoscope, to M when she hurt her foot: Do you need a doctor?
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Me to A: Quién es mi princesa?
A: V!
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J: Why is it weird if I want to be friends with him (the drunkard who sells crap on the sidewalk)? I am weird
Me: How?
J: I twizzle my hair.

Whoo EEEh

I have had many a busy day in my life,  but today may take the cake. While the day was crazy and isn't yet over, it was a totally satisfying day. The only sad part is that I will not be home in time to see the midgets. I am currently at City College doing a make up swim class with MoJo. The day began with a ridiculous walk to BT. Nothing like pushing that mother load of a stroller in the middle of a snow storm. The plastic would not stay on, my hands we frozen... Well we made it and I even walked all the way to damn school because there were no buses available. I did not teach my first period class because most of the kids were in the gym watching the gym show. So I canceled class and went to see M rock it at her gym show ( think push ups as well as a dance to Gengham Style).  I spent the rest of the morning working on curriculum and packing hundreds of books for a book drive that ended today. After teaching I had my first class with the fourth grade for our community service trimester. I love this group! They are so little and it is their first foray into service.  I took them to the nursing home to do nail care. Yup, 9 and 10 year olds giving old women manicures. My favorite lady was there and she was in rare form, kissing all of the kids and being a ham. The kids were great and sweet and did not make any faces as a strange and confused woman continued to kiss and hug them. I was then called into a meeting with my headmistress where she proposed a super exciting and new task for me to develop with another colleague.  I am flattered. I cabbed it home to drop off and pick up crap and ran to Street Squash. After an hour of college prep I walked (again no bus) with a big bag of swimming gear to school. Got MoJo. They whined the whole way about having to swim at night. That brings us to now. How lucky am I to be able to squeeze so many gratifying activities
into one day? I cannot wait to order some Asian food and watch some flick with F tonight. Life is good. Stay tuned for my new 30 day challenge, I realized as I struggled with the stroller this am that I am COMPLETELY out of shape and may want to consider adding some minimal exercise into my life! Happy weekend!

Recent Lines

M: These icies are so good. Can you consider buying them again? They are so realistic. Coconut tastes exactly like coconut, pineapple exactly like pineapple.

J: Every time I sneeze I fart.

J in the storm today: Nature is all water and spirit.

J: I do not want if I want to be in art or science when I grow up. My other thing I want to be is an overachiever.

M: I got a new plan today. When I retire from being a pediatrician I am going to be a dancer.

J about his birthday cake: I want it to have a picture of me on it.

J: You know who abuelo R is so generous but he is junky? Do you think he would buy me a grand piano?
Me: Junky?
J: Yeah, he lets me eat junk.

J: What would you do if I littered?

Two Too To?

To drip snot to death or not to? All of a sudden I have one of those deadly colds that challenges your ability to function. My nose drips, I sneeze, my head hurts. A 3.5 hour meeting to kick off our day of professional development in lieu of school, is just what I did not need. It was hard for me to be productive after this insanely long meeting but I did try. Did I mention that I went through two entire boxes of tissues today? I feel bad for them trees. After M's piano class we schlepped home (always attractive to have a box of tissues, as well as a mountain of discarded ones flowing out of your bag) and I did the usual dinner and bath routine. I then left L with the 4 monkeys to go do a double header of tutoring (why? why? because when I agreed to this cockamamie plan I was not sick and thought I would capitalize on F's absence and L's presence). I could not even deal with lacing up my converse and left with my slippers on, a water bottle full of Emergen-C flavored water (note to self, this overdose of vitamin C is most likely not retroactive), a box of tissues and some Selby (essentially diaper cream) for my raw nose. I am now back. I misplaced an envelope today with M's piano lesson fee. I fear that I either shredded it or recycled it in two piles of papers that I unloaded today. I hope to find the money in my recycling bin and to avoid taping together shredded money. This is what happens when you move too fast and are distracted. Two classes down (yay, no tutoring tomorrow!) and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Recent Lines...

M- Duh! Everyone knows Italians are the masters at making pasta.

A to V: Scemotto (dummy loosely in Italian)
V to A: Scemotta tu!

J's Deep Thought

Not to be rude, but I do not think the person who invented toilets had such a good idea. I do not like butts touching butts. When guests come to our house, then I have to use the toilet and I do not like their butts touching mine.

Tanti Auguri

Feliz 6 enano! Long day filled with phone calls from many places, lots of gifts and a lovely evening celebration. Thank you for coming or calling or just remembering this little guy's birthday. TQMYTAMFCMC.

Hmmm

Nothing like getting soaked in a 30 minute walk under violent wind and rain while pushing a 150 lb stroller through swamps to BT. Glad I have extra shoes at work but I forgot to bring extra pants!

Also exciting on the random front, a call from a collection agency (!) alerting me that the twin medical services provided on 2/8/11 (yes they move fast!) were not covered by insurance. Guess they will have to crawl back into the womb.

A and V fight in Spanish and in English (A to V: I don't like it!, V: I don't like it either!) whereas M and J fight exclusively in English (M to J: You are the worst brother ever!)

Gearing up for better weather, the best auction ever, and maybe I should consider incorporating exercise into my life. My fat belly and aching body do not seem to equal my age. I was in better shape two years ago despite the two humans who lived in my belly.

Off to teach! Have a dry day.

Recent Lines

J waiting for his friend, who was late, after asking 1000 times when he was coming: I am getting old here. Where is he?
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Me to A/V this am: Vamos a tomar la leche.
V: No, let's go eat pasta.
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A to V during Sesame (as Grover introduced the letter of the day): Grover tiene V!
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L to A: Tu mamá dice que no podes tomar jugo (Your mom says you cannot drink juice).
A: Mamá dice time out L!
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J: Why do they always shoot special people like John Lemon and Martin Luther King?

Bouncing Back

from splatter vomit on the stairs. J was green when I picked him up from school and I canceled piano (ouch) a few minutes before J decorated the school stairs (at dismissal time mind you!) with hotdog vomit. J stayed home with the midgets and L while I had a (not) fun filled day at school. Tomorrow is Friday already and the weekend is already kicking my ass (tutoring and then dinner party tomorrow, swimming and dinner party on Saturday and J's 6th!! birthday party plus Oscar party on Sunday. Whoa. F is gone Mon/Tues and that brings us almost up to mid week next week. Why did I eat so much for dinner? Because I love Trader Joe's (or Brooks Brothers as J calls it). Hasta mañana.

Screwed!

Just got back. Tried to out AleVit down for nap since they only micro-napped in car. After one minute V was out of hte pack and play (shit!) and after I put him back and went to check in, A was straddling the bars, too far in to get out or jump out. If these kids can get out, and they can, I am F@*(^%&*#d! I may have to build a moat with robot crocodiles around the sleeping area.

Ta-Da!

Day 3 in the countryside and we have made some interesting discoveries. Never go look at a damn with 6 children and think that a sign that reads "recreational activities by permit only" is a joke. More on that later. Never underestimate the peace of mind that you used to have when neither twodler knew how to get out of their pack and play. I really hope V cannot replicate that skill at home. A, who never needs to sleep, thinks it is hilarious to get out of the crib and to try to rouse V to join her in the rebellion. Last night he yelled "silencio" to her which was pretty amusing. We can also confirm that V has major motion sickness and he projectile vomited at the two hour mark once again!

Mayhem

MoJo & AleVit have been in rare form. Yesterday M gave V a pen (bad idea) and he drew all over the wall (worse idea) and I cannot clean it. I guess it blends in the with rest of the destroyed wall.

At bath time V threw my (new) cellphone in the full bathtub while I undressed A. He thoroughly enjoyed how mad I got and did not mind his time out either. Crap, he is already over time outs. He laughed and responded "yeah, se tira teléfono en el agua" when I asked him it was something we do (se hace) or not (no se hace).

He must have been drunk or high on sugar (even though they did not have any) because by the time F came home he was crashing into A, laughing like crazy. When F said sternly "we are going to sleep" V  just mocked him and keep laughing.

In the afternoon (yes, all this in one day) while MoJO watched TV...
M: Clifford is over
J (with his penis out): No, it is not. He is not done watching TV.
He seemed un-phased and apologized when prompted. I told him to not do that in school lest he get in big trouble. He reminded me that a friend of his recently showed him his "front and back privates" and that nothing happened.

AleVit melted down at the pediatrician as soon as they remembered the pain associated with the place. When the doctor walked in, V yelled "I don't want it" to her. They were spared shots this time. Yay!

Today was another cuckoo day with piano, tutoring, home and back out to tutoring. Looking forward to the looong weekend.

F Week

J: I know an F word!
Me; No, we are not putting it on the list.
J: But it is an F word!
Me; But it is a bad word.
J: Can I just say it?
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Me to V: Te quiero mucho! Me querés?
V: No. Quiero a L.
Me: Querés a L?
V: No, quiero a A!

HIghlights

M to me: The job of a child is simple. Don't be rude and obey and your life will be perfect as a child. Right mamá?

J when he heard me comment on how some chickens are treated: Nobody touch that (chicken on the table). You need to follow the golden rule and treat chickens how you want to be treated!


V to me: I go "a-wah-go"
Me: Qué?
V: I go "a-wah-go" (repeat back and forth three times)
V: Downstairs! I go downstairs!'
Me: Abajo!

V & A on the phone with their great grandmother...
Me: Dónde está la abuela I?
V: Aquí. En el teléfono.

V with M's backpack on: Bye. See you tomorrow.

Feliz 2 AleVit!

I cannot believe it. So big. Happy birthday to you midgets!!

Look Who's Talking!

I started to think about V and A and language today and they are not just talking, as in repeating words or singing songs, they are expressing themselves! There is such a huge difference. They talk to each other (A usually cocks her head and says his name to convey the importance of what she is saying) and they know what they mean. L and I understand them the most (F needs a translator). I understand 90% of what V wants to say and maybe 70% of A's talk. The new element is that they are really truly speaking. As far as they are concerned, they are telling me and everyone anything they need to, the frustration of speech limitation has subsided. This is going to be make me trying to have them pass for under two years old to save money on admissions and such a bit tricky! Just today V out on a hat and said to L"Qué lindo"! Yesterday V scolded A  as she kicked the crib "Se rompe, A, not funny. Papi dice not funny, L dice not funny. Se rompe" as she laughed hysterically. A is all about "saca jama (piyaama) and "mete pema (crema)" and "pasta dientes- mi turno"- she is a big fan of personal hygiene products!

Two Days Until 2!!

What the heck? How could this happen so fast? Slow down monkeys!!

Funny Boys

J, with the perceptive eye: You guys must be rich. You bought all this stuff, including this house. You bought more stuff than abuela S. We have paintings, a refrigerator, so much stuff. I think we have more than one hundred stuff in this house, counting the house.

V to A after I said "say sorry": I NOT sorry. I NOT. I NOT sorry.

Some Lines

M- People used to think that girls were not powerful, but they are actually quite strong.

M when I told her patent leather red party shoes did not match the sweatpants she was wearing: If your opinion is not nice, just keep it to yourself.

J- I don't want a new president who could be mean and change the rules.


Random man to V on a stroll in the hood: Hey shorty!
V: No!
man: Yes!
back and forth like this many times until I dragged V away (both of them were laughing)

J to tía C: E is too cool for you!

J trying to walk on his heels for a Guinness World Record, M: You are not going to get one. Do you know how many stupid people, I mean you are not stupid, but how many stupid people try to get into that book?

M sniffing a bracelet she thinks One Direction wore (a classmate sold her the story): I can tell it is real because it smells like their armpit cream.

J when he saw the ribbon of an old medal in the garbage: You threw away a priceless medal?

J: I am quitting piano. It is too hard. And I am quitting school.
Me: What do you plan to do all day?
J: I need to play and be in peace.

Toddlers on Trikes

I was going to write "babies on bikes" but then realizes the inaccuracies. We got hand me down plastic tricycles this weekend (because we are always searching for clunky and bulky things to fill up our extra space) from friends with five year old twins. They also brought some clothing, amongst which were two fleece hats with ear flaps that are kind of small for my (very) large headed guys. AleVit associates these hats with the trikes and wear them like helmets. One cannot go without the other. They are hilarious on their bikes, crashing into each other and actually learning how to pedal. When I suggested we show the bikes to our 4 year old neighbor whom they are obsessed with A threw the vehicle over her shoulder to run out the door. I wish I had a picture of them in onesies, barefoot with fleece hats banging on the door. "Simey (not his name but their version of it)! Where ahr you? We have bikes!" He never opened the door but A kept banging her fist. I was standing in our doorway listening to M practice piano. I turned my head into our apartment and when I looked back out V had called the elevator and was pushing his trike in. WTF? Always ready to escape. I look forward to warmer weather when they can really ride in the park!

Catching Up on Funny Lines

The other night when J was crying (weird for him) in bed he said it was for three bad things: He had no water to drink, got a time out in karate, and felt lonely because M was in my bed (everything is relative- being with only two other people in the bedroom is now lonely).

F makes AleVit say "te quiero mucho" to each other when they go to bed. After the usual V; Te quiero mucho A and then a: Te quiero mucho V, he added: Te quiero más!

When I told J we were going to MIA for spring break he said: I want a sleepover with abuelo R. I assured him he was getting that and he said: No, without you. Go on your own vacation.

M on why she thinks being a pediatrician is better than an ER doctor for her: I do not want to be under that pressure. If someone dies it is my fault.

M wants to be a pediatrician and asked: How many years is medical school? How many years do I have to be a resident. Tell me so I can make up my mind about if I can do it. Being a pediatrician
 a better opportunity to save the lives of children who have a longer life than adults.

J to M; I have a new crush.
M: Ooh. Tell me. In your class?
M: Older?
J: No.
M; In JK (junior kindergarten)?
J: No.
Me; In nursery?
J: No, BT.
M: Who?
J: A and V. But they never let me smush enough with them and I love them so much (it is true they are not big smushers).

M to tía D at dinner: It is not easy getting married and having kids.
tía D: Tell me about it.
M: Families go on forever.
Abuela S (always on hand with a random comment): It is not easy. Look at your mother. She had four kids. That is too many.
Me (in front of MoJo): Who should I get rid of?

As I Kissed J Goodnight He Said:

I will never be too cool for you (what a relief!)

AleVit Antics

These two are crazy. They went to their first birthday party today and had cake at 5pm. That was such a horrible idea. A is currently bouncing off the sides of her (sort of still broken) crib. Before that they were doing knee drops and body slamming in the bathtub and laughing maniacally. When F said OMG, V chimed in "mamma mia!" Last night they did a new routine at bedtime. V can push their beds around (hers in on wheels) and he scooted over to the dresser. When I walked in, he had most of its contents in the crib and A was wearing several pairs of M's underwear on her head. They were cracking up, and it was pretty funny. Another new V move is rolling himself up like a burrito in the pack and play. The "mattress" is a thin crappy mat with velcro on the bottom. He likes to pull both sides up or just move the whole thing over and lay on the metal bars. Hope they go to sleep soooon.

I Made It!

I have almost survived this whole week as a single mother of 4, living in an apt with 1000 drafts in sub zero weather, with daily evening events, a broken crib that A likes to break more "cama rota" to get my attention, and lots of mocos. Sure, I went to bed at 8:45pm with 3 out of 4 kids still awake. Okay, I took a shower this morning at 6am and washed my hair (could not remember when the time before was?!) while AleVit kept m company and destroyed the bathroom (V went to BT smelling like Axe, his favorite spray). Yes, I have a pencil holding my hair up because I forgot a hair tie and had my hair down so it would dry. My pants have what look like dried egg yolk on them and my jacket is covered in A's snot. But, life is good yo. I have NOTHING to do after school (besides get food and movies at the library) because Street Squash kids have Regents exams. I look forward to tomorrow am when F can lend a hand (he did do some virtual babysitting this am on Skype). TGIF!

The Pianist

I am so proud of little J! He looked very funny in his blazer and tie with his feet swinging in the air as he played on an amazing grand piano on stage. He had a weird piano class before the concert- he was behaving like he was on drugs- hyper, mocking the teacher sort of. Very erratic. She told me to think nothing of it and to not talk about it with him. We went to Celeste for dinner with tía D and M and sure enough, he returned to the concert hall and played like a champ. The pieces some of the older (but not that much older) kids played blew me away. I kind of felt like I was in one of those documentaries about extraordinary kids and I wondered how much their parents make them practice to be that good. I am very happy this day is over. It was so cold I thought we would freeze. I loaded L into a taxi with AleVit this am (not the easiest maneuver- I felt bad that she would have to unload on her own and redo it at the end of the day). Tutored post school and met L back at Mannes (we are a good team- I am lost without her) and then attended the concert post dinner. MoJo looked like they were falling asleep at the end of the concert. Hurray to my mini Mozart.

AleVit/MoJo Update

These kids are up to so many new things every week that it is hard to remember what I wrote about and what escapes me.  The member of my quartet who is most rapidly changing right now is A. She is talking up a storm and recognizing letters. L taught her a few letters in a book and she can identify a few of them and say whose name they stand for. I was semi-impressed but wondered if she could recognize these letters (A, V, M, P) in another context. To my surprise, she can! It is quite astonishing. I taught her "C for Carne (what they call tía C) and E for "Lee-I." When I showed L that she could recognize a C, A asked me to write an E as well. What an interesting twist in their development. A, the less vocal gal, is an early letter lady! A's other new thing is pockets. She always wants her hands in her pockets. Today she put her jacket on so she could have her hands in her pockets as she walked around the apartment in her onesie. "Hands in my pockets" is her current tagline.
V continues to boss everyone around and make constant announcements. We were at lunch yesterday and he said "I have to go to the bathroom" over and over again with attitude. He did not like my advise to just go in his diaper:)
J has had some attitude adjustment needs. He asked me how to spell "boo-yah!"- which he wanted to write on his homework. He also said "in your face" to me. When he finally got how disappointed I was in him he asked me to "fruitcake" it for the first time in his life. He is currently asleep in my bed. I am hosting a flurry of MoJo sleepovers this week as a special treat while F is away. When I threatened him with a consequence about something today, he quipped "You can't punish me. I'm the chosen one." As we froze our butts off walking M to piano class, J, on his scooter, said: "We could tie a rope from my scooter to the stroller so I could pull them instead of you pushing."
When I asled M if A was sleeping in the stroller today, she said: "She looks like she just had surgery."
The highlight of the weekend was my first solo outing with AleVit sans stroller. We walked to Central Park and they loved it. A thinks that she does not have to old my hand or let me hold her hood or let me carry her across the street, so we had a few confrontations about that. While in the park, she asked V to hold her hand. If only I had caught that on film. Right after they walked hand in hand for a few seconds they stopped and started spontaneously hugging each other cheek to cheek. Too damn cute. That I did capture on film. Off to watch more Oscar nominated films and to bed. This week is going to be a full one.